LUXURY TAX ALK PARK PLACE PAY $7500 Phan-Is-Sempiternal Mousathe14 Gehayi Profeminist Tampons Are a “luxury Item” Once I Worked as an Intern in the State Capital One of the Representatives I Worked for Was This Middle-Aged Guy and He Hated the Tampon and Napkin Machines in the Women’s Bathrooms Hated Them He Insisted That They Weren’t Necessary I Found Out Why After I’d Been Working There Oh About a Month My Period Started Suddenly as It Sometimes Does and I Asked to Excuse Myself to Go to the Ladies’ Room He Wanted to Know Why I Told Him He Started Ranting About How Lazy Women Were How We Wasted Time How We Were So Careless and Unhygenic and That There Was No Call for That He Finished by Telling Me That I Certainly Was NOT Going to the Ladies’ Room and That I Was Just Going to Sit There and Work He Finished This Off With a Decisive Nod as if I’d Just Been Told and There Could Be No Possible Argument “If I Don’t Go” I Said in an Overly Patient Tone “the Blood Is Going to Soak Through My Pants Stain My New Skirt That I Just Bought and Possibly Get on This Chair I’m Sitting in I Need Something to Soak Up the Blood That’s Why I Need to Go to the Bathroom” His Face Turned Oatmeal-Gray an Expression of Pure Horror Spread Across His Face He Leaned Forward and Whispered “Wait You Mean That if You Don’t Go You’ll Just Keep on Bleeding? I Thought That Women Could Turn It Off Any Time That They Wanted!” I Thought You Have Got to Be Kidding Several Horrified Whispers Later I Learned That He Wasn’t He Actually Thought a That Women Could Shut Down the Menstrual Cycle at Will B That We Essentially Picked a Week Per Month to Spend More Time in the Bathroom Ie to Goof Off and C That Napkins and Tampons Were Sex Toys Paid for by Health and Human Services I Didn’t Know the Term Then but He Believed That Tampons Were Dildos Which Was Why He and a Good Number of His Friends Considered Them Luxuries and That’s How at Twenty I Had to Give a Talk on Menstruation to a Middle-Aged Married State Representative Who Was One of My Bosses American Politics Ladies and Gentlemen That’s That’s Insane What the Fuck Did I Just Read