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Apparently, Brains, and Confidence: bidoof change.org Trending petition Matt-There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be interested in signing it. Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples' Guns So They Can't Shoot Them thetwinkerbell It's still gonna shoot... And they're gonna lose a finger ssj14goku No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this domozillla This is a gun we're talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger. ssj14goku The finger blocks it dildomuncher3000 The finger won't block it the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond. ssj14goku The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it's not that hard to understand lgbltsandwitch People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded. hungwy No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong. blipblerp Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger. gorps No the finger would stop it jorycancrochet I'm loving the idiocy of this post. Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom... Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics >:V snakegay no the finger would stop it indianworiorprincess You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I'Il I'll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet Dumdasses egay sna the finger would stop it meatswitch raptorific Apparently for dudes who've got a compulsive need to be the smartest person in the room, "someone who's wrong in a really stupid way who has unshakable confidence that they're smarter than you" is their kryptonite. You can play dumb on almost any subject and their ego, their staunch belief that the masses are so far below them, will blind them to the fact that you're just fucking with them, and as long as you don't admit you're fucking with them or acknowledge that there's anything Off about what you're saying, they won't be able to stop themselves trying to get you to Respect Their Authority, and they won't be able to see that will literally never happen. lynati The finger is smooth in all directions. That's why it can stop the bullet.
Apparently, Brains, and Confidence: bidoof
 change.org
 Trending petition
 Matt-There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we
 think you might be interested in signing it.
 Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000
 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole
 Of Peoples' Guns So They Can't Shoot Them
 thetwinkerbell
 It's still gonna shoot... And they're gonna lose a
 finger
 ssj14goku
 No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this
 domozillla
 This is a gun we're talking about. The projectile
 is fired using an explosion, not by compressed
 air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling
 shot. People would be lucky if they only lost
 their finger.
 ssj14goku
 The finger blocks it
 dildomuncher3000
 The finger won't block it the shaft is only there
 for keeping the bullet straight, all the
 propulsion happens behind the bullet. The
 bullet would rip through the finger, not that
 many would actually fit without the victim
 being a child, and beyond.
 ssj14goku
 The bullet would go forward a little and then
 hit the finger and stop it's not that hard to
 understand
 lgbltsandwitch
 People are going to lose
 their hands. Go watch
 Mythbusters. They did
 an episode on this, the
 hand fucking exploded.
 hungwy
 No, the bullet would
 start to go but stop at
 the finger. Thats basic
 physics. Also hands dont
 explode normally they
 did something wrong.
 blipblerp
 Why the dingleknockers would you even
 consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a
 loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling
 the bullet at that close of range would shatter
 the finger at the very least; this is a petition for
 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their
 hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a
 persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth
 it sure as hell will explode a finger.
 gorps
 No the finger would stop it
 jorycancrochet
 I'm loving the idiocy of this post.
 Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom...
 Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics >:V
 snakegay
 no the finger would stop it
 indianworiorprincess
 You guy who think the bullet would stop at the
 finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer
 to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I'Il
 I'll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet
 Dumdasses
 egay
 sna
 the finger would stop it
 meatswitch
 raptorific
 Apparently for dudes who've got a compulsive need
 to be the smartest person in the room, "someone
 who's wrong in a really stupid way who has
 unshakable confidence that they're smarter than
 you" is their kryptonite. You can play dumb on
 almost any subject and their ego, their staunch
 belief that the masses are so far below them, will
 blind them to the fact that you're just fucking with
 them, and as long as you don't admit you're fucking
 with them or acknowledge that there's anything
 Off about what you're saying, they won't be able to
 stop themselves trying to get you to Respect Their
 Authority, and they won't be able to see that will
 literally never happen.
 lynati
 The finger is smooth in all directions. That's
 why it can stop the bullet.

Crime, Facts, and Guns: New Zealand POLICE Ngs Piihimana O Aetearo NOTICE TO SURRENDER AIRGUN OR ANTIQUE FIREARM To Of Adam John HOLLAND Queenstown PURSUANT TO SECTION 41, ARMS ACT 1983 1, Inspector Olaf Karl Jensen, a Commissioned Officer of Police, hereby give notice that in my opinion you are not a fit and proper person to be in possession of an airgun or an antique firearm. Police are currently holding the following described airguns. 1 x Ruger Blackhawk .177 calibre Air rifle 1 x Hatsun Striker 177 calibre Air Rifle You may within three months after the date of this Notice or such longer period as the Commissioner of Police may allow, sell or otherwise dispose of any airgun or antique firearm owned by you to a person approved for this purpose by a member of the Police. antique firearms delivered to a member of the Police may be as the Commissioner of Police thinks fit, or may, in the discretion Failing that, all airguns detained for such a period of the Minister of Police, become the property of the Crown, free and discharged from all right, title or interest possess in respect thereof by any person. or You may by way of origination application, appeal to a District Court Judge against this Notice. (Section 62, Arms Act 1983 refers). My reason for this decision is as follows: 1. I do not believe you to be a fit and proper person to be in possession of an airgun. 2. Police hold serious concerns regarding your mental and emotional wellbeing. Should you wish me to review my decision or you dispute the facts you may make written submissions or arrange an appointment with me within two weeks of the date of this notice. Any submissions you do make must be accompanied by a letter from a medical practitioner attesting to your mental and emotional wellbeing at this time. stor Dated at this of 20 Commissioned Officer of Police prolifeproliberty: cominuteman: strict-constitutionalist: whiskey-gunpowder: weatherman667: whiskey-gunpowder: we’re not coming for your guns…. we just want the military grade assault fully semi-automatic weapon of wars off the street… now turn in your airgun “…in my opinion you are not a fit and proper person to be in possession…” They have the right to unilaterally decide who has the right to own firearms. this is the end game for the red flag laws. a deranged leftist’s opinion saying your unfit. and to those in the notes asking what made him unfit… the thought crime of supporting POTUS.  This isn’t the end game. It’s the first step on the way to the end game. You’re delusional if you think the agenda stops there. Look at Europe if you want to know what the goal is They obviously had to have gun registration for them to know exactly what guns he owned. First registration followed by confiscation. This is why we don’t let terrorists dictate our laws.
Crime, Facts, and Guns: New Zealand
 POLICE
 Ngs Piihimana O Aetearo
 NOTICE TO SURRENDER AIRGUN OR ANTIQUE FIREARM
 To
 Of
 Adam John HOLLAND
 Queenstown
 PURSUANT TO SECTION 41, ARMS ACT 1983
 1, Inspector Olaf Karl Jensen, a Commissioned Officer of Police, hereby give notice that in
 my opinion you are not a fit and proper person to be in possession of an airgun or an antique
 firearm. Police are currently holding the following described airguns.
 1 x Ruger Blackhawk .177 calibre Air rifle
 1 x Hatsun Striker 177 calibre Air Rifle
 You may within three months after the date of this Notice or such longer period as the
 Commissioner of Police may allow, sell or otherwise dispose of any airgun or antique firearm
 owned by you to a person approved for this purpose by a member of the Police.
 antique firearms delivered to a member of the Police may be
 as the Commissioner of Police thinks fit, or may, in the discretion
 Failing that, all airguns
 detained for such a period
 of the Minister of Police, become the property of the Crown, free and discharged from all
 right, title or interest possess in respect thereof by any person.
 or
 You may by way of origination application, appeal to a District Court Judge against this
 Notice. (Section 62, Arms Act 1983 refers).
 My reason for this decision is as follows:
 1. I do not believe you to be a fit and proper person to be in possession of an airgun.
 2. Police hold serious concerns
 regarding your mental and emotional wellbeing.
 Should you wish me to review my decision or you dispute the facts you may make written
 submissions or arrange an appointment with me within two weeks of the date of this notice.
 Any submissions you do make must be accompanied by a letter from a medical
 practitioner attesting to your mental and emotional wellbeing at this time.
 stor
 Dated at
 this
 of
 20
 Commissioned Officer of Police
prolifeproliberty:
cominuteman:

strict-constitutionalist:


whiskey-gunpowder:


weatherman667:

whiskey-gunpowder:
we’re not coming for your guns…. we just want the military grade assault fully semi-automatic weapon of wars off the street… now turn in your airgun
“…in my opinion you are not a fit and proper person to be in possession…”
They have the right to unilaterally decide who has the right to own firearms.

this is the end game for the red flag laws. a deranged leftist’s opinion saying your unfit. and to those in the notes asking what made him unfit… the thought crime of supporting POTUS. 


This isn’t the end game. It’s the first step on the way to the end game. You’re delusional if you think the agenda stops there. Look at Europe if you want to know what the goal is


They obviously had to have gun registration for them to know exactly what guns he owned.  First registration followed by confiscation.


This is why we don’t let terrorists dictate our laws.

prolifeproliberty: cominuteman: strict-constitutionalist: whiskey-gunpowder: weatherman667: whiskey-gunpowder: we’re not coming for yo...

Af, Ass, and Big Dick: fleur-cannnon: afairlypudgycat: whiskeyworen: jaxblade: norseminuteman: red-faced-wolf: kasaron: bears-for-the-bear-god: the-goddamn-doomguy: captainsnoop: big dick energy Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans. This is genuinely beyond big dick energy It’s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE) Holy shit Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT.  Also I love how they don’t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while he’s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.   ALPHA AF!!! I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dude’s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go.For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his “…Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.”Then that poor marine. “Hey YOU! You can’t… be… here…” DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesn’t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like “You are doing a fine job. That’s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*”It’s as if he’s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic.Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isn’t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. He’s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCH… that he’s calm. He’s so far beyond wrath at the demons that he’s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesn’t grunt, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, it’ll bleed like the last. He doesn’t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; it’s a function of existence for him. Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time Within the first few minutes of Doom 2016 and throughout much of the remainder of the game it’s clear that Doomguy values human life A LOT. Humans are never his enemy, it’s the demons. He looks at the dead man in the elevator as Hayden says something along the lines of “I swear it was for the greater good.” Doomguy sees right in front of him it wasn’t, and I betcha right then Doomguy was against Hayden. Doomguy doesn’t take kindly to crimes against humanity, even if accidental.
Af, Ass, and Big Dick: fleur-cannnon:

afairlypudgycat:

whiskeyworen:

jaxblade:

norseminuteman:

red-faced-wolf:

kasaron:


bears-for-the-bear-god:

the-goddamn-doomguy:

captainsnoop:
big dick energy
Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans.


This is genuinely beyond big dick energy

It’s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE)


Holy shit 

Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT. 
Also I love how they don’t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while he’s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.  

ALPHA AF!!!

I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dude’s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go.For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his “…Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.”Then that poor marine. “Hey YOU! You can’t… be… here…” DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesn’t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like “You are doing a fine job. That’s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*”It’s as if he’s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic.Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isn’t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. He’s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCH… that he’s calm. He’s so far beyond wrath at the demons that he’s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesn’t grunt, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, it’ll bleed like the last. He doesn’t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; it’s a function of existence for him.

Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time


Within the first few minutes of Doom 2016 and throughout much of the remainder of the game it’s clear that Doomguy values human life A LOT. Humans are never his enemy, it’s the demons. He looks at the dead man in the elevator as Hayden says something along the lines of “I swear it was for the greater good.” Doomguy sees right in front of him it wasn’t, and I betcha right then Doomguy was against Hayden. Doomguy doesn’t take kindly to crimes against humanity, even if accidental.

fleur-cannnon: afairlypudgycat: whiskeyworen: jaxblade: norseminuteman: red-faced-wolf: kasaron: bears-for-the-bear-god: the-goddam...

Alive, Cats, and Dogs: Saving your pet with CPR Check for breathing and pulse Check pulse using middle and index finger below the wrist, inner thigh (temoral artery). below the ankle or where left elbow touches With pets increasingly being treated like a member of the Areas to check family, many owners are learning emergency techniques like CPR to keep their pet alive before bringing it to a veterinarian. for pulse the chest Look for other warning signs Gums and lips will appear gray- colored. Pupils will be dilated and not responsive to light If there is no breathing and no pulse, begin CPR immediately. Gums Pupils If not breathing, give breath to animal Cats and small dogs Place your mouth over its nose and mouth to blow air in. Medium-large dogs Place your mouth over its nose to blow air in Heimlich maneuver If breath won't go in, airway may be blocked. Turn dog upside down, with its back against your chest. Wrap your arms around the dog and clasp your hands together just below its rib cage (since you're holding the dog upside down, it's above the rib cage, in the abdomen). Using both arms, give five sharp thrusts to the abdomen. Then check its mouth or airway for the object. If you see it, remove it and give two more rescue breaths Start compressions if no pulse Lay animal on right side and place hand over ribs where its elbow touches the chest. Begin compressions. Do not give compressions if dog has pulse. Compressions per breath of air Compress chest Animal size Catsmall dog (Under 30 lbs.) 5 1/2-1 inch Medium-large dog (30-90 lbs.) 1-3 inches 5 Giant dog (over 90 lbs.) 1-3 inches 10 Repeat procedure Stop CPR after 20 minutes. Check pulse after 1 minute and then every few minutes. Continue giving CPR until the animal has a puise and is breathing. soURCE American Red Cross lolzandtrollz: Every Dog Owner Needs To Know This
Alive, Cats, and Dogs: Saving your pet with CPR
 Check for breathing and pulse
 Check pulse using middle and index finger
 below the wrist, inner thigh (temoral artery).
 below the ankle or where left elbow touches
 With pets increasingly being
 treated like a member of the
 Areas to check
 family, many owners are learning
 emergency techniques like CPR
 to keep their pet alive before
 bringing it to a veterinarian.
 for pulse
 the chest
 Look for other
 warning signs
 Gums and lips will appear
 gray- colored.
 Pupils will be dilated and
 not responsive to light
 If there is no breathing and no
 pulse, begin CPR immediately.
 Gums
 Pupils
 If not breathing, give
 breath to animal
 Cats and small dogs
 Place your mouth over its nose
 and mouth to blow air in.
 Medium-large dogs
 Place your mouth over its nose
 to blow air in
 Heimlich maneuver
 If breath won't go in, airway may be blocked.
 Turn dog upside down, with its back against
 your chest. Wrap your arms around the dog
 and clasp your hands together just below its
 rib cage (since you're holding the dog upside
 down, it's above the rib cage, in the
 abdomen). Using both arms, give five sharp thrusts
 to the abdomen. Then check its mouth or airway for the
 object. If you see it, remove it and give two more
 rescue breaths
 Start compressions if no pulse
 Lay animal on right side and place hand over ribs
 where its elbow touches the chest. Begin
 compressions. Do not give compressions
 if dog has pulse.
 Compressions
 per breath
 of air
 Compress
 chest
 Animal size
 Catsmall dog (Under 30 lbs.)
 5
 1/2-1 inch
 Medium-large dog (30-90 lbs.)
 1-3 inches
 5
 Giant dog (over 90 lbs.)
 1-3 inches
 10
 Repeat
 procedure
 Stop CPR
 after 20 minutes.
 Check pulse after 1 minute
 and then every few minutes.
 Continue giving CPR until the
 animal has a puise and is breathing.
 soURCE
 American Red Cross
lolzandtrollz:

Every Dog Owner Needs To Know This

lolzandtrollz: Every Dog Owner Needs To Know This

Brains, Fucking, and Guns: change.org Trending petition Matt There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we think you might be interested in signing it. meatswitch: snakegay: indianworiorprincess: snakegay: jorycancrochet: gorps: blipblerp: hungwy: lgbltsandwitch: ssj14goku: dildomuncher3000: ssj14goku: domozillla: ssj14goku: thetwinkerbell: ssj14goku: Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger. The finger blocks it The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond. The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded. No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong. Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger. No the finger would stop it I’m loving the idiocy of this post. Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom… Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics :V no the finger would stop it You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet. Dumdasses the finger would stop it
Brains, Fucking, and Guns: change.org Trending petition
 Matt There's a new petition taking off on Change.org, and we
 think you might be interested in signing it.
meatswitch:
snakegay:


indianworiorprincess:

snakegay:


jorycancrochet:

gorps:

blipblerp:


hungwy:

lgbltsandwitch:


ssj14goku:

dildomuncher3000:

ssj14goku:

domozillla:

ssj14goku:

thetwinkerbell:

ssj14goku:

Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them

It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger

No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this

This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger.

The finger blocks it

The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond.

The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand


People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded.



No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong.


Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger.


No the finger would stop it


I’m loving the idiocy of this post.
Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom…
Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics :V

no the finger would stop it


You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer  to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet.  Dumdasses

the finger would stop it

meatswitch: snakegay: indianworiorprincess: snakegay: jorycancrochet: gorps: blipblerp: hungwy: lgbltsandwitch: ssj14goku: dild...

Facebook, Fanta, and Job Interview: Remember, every question is a test so when they say "How are you?" reply "Goal ori tated, thank you." Make a point of mentioning you failed Reli- gious Studies and say The only thing I wor- ship is productivity." 2 thumbs up. Show you're good at delegating respon bility by sending someone else to the in terview Employers check Facebook accounts so make sure all your photos show you looking at a spreadsheet and punching the air. Always make eye contact and if you have two interviewers, train your eyes to work independently like a chameleon. Tell them you're not an applicánt, you're a appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against buttock. Make sizzling noise. When asked why you'd be suited to the job, pass an ancient scroll along the desk& say It was foretold." Stare at them. If you're meeting 3 interviewers, bring in a 4 finger Kitkat. Take charge of di ng Kitkat to emphasise leadership. If asked where you see yourself in 5 yrs time, tip them out of their chair, sit on it & say 'Here'. Break open a Fanta. At the beginning, try to make small talk with your interviewer such as "lovely day!" or "you look like my real father. When asked to describe yourself in 5 words say "Atrocious counting skills". Laugh. Open packet of Mini Eggs. When asked if you found the place OK, say I was driven here by cab. Normally of course I'm driven by results!" 4 winks Know the interviewer's name and use it during the interview. If you're not sure what it is, call them Jobsy" or "Jobbo". THE META PICTURE awesomesthesia: Some Good Job Interview Tips
nsfw
Facebook, Fanta, and Job Interview: Remember, every question is a test so when
 they say "How are you?" reply "Goal ori
 tated, thank you."
 Make a point of mentioning you failed Reli-
 gious Studies and say The only thing I wor-
 ship is productivity." 2 thumbs up.
 Show you're good at delegating respon
 bility by sending someone else to the in
 terview
 Employers check Facebook accounts so
 make sure all your photos show you looking
 at a spreadsheet and punching the air.
 Always make eye contact and if you have
 two interviewers, train your eyes to
 work independently like a chameleon.
 Tell them you're not an applicánt, you're a
 appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against
 buttock. Make sizzling noise.
 When asked why you'd be suited to the job,
 pass an ancient scroll along the desk& say
 It was foretold." Stare at them.
 If you're meeting 3 interviewers, bring in a 4
 finger Kitkat. Take charge of di
 ng
 Kitkat to emphasise leadership.
 If asked where you see yourself in 5 yrs
 time, tip them out of their chair, sit on it &
 say 'Here'. Break open a Fanta.
 At the beginning, try to make small talk
 with your interviewer such as "lovely day!"
 or "you look like my real father.
 When asked to describe yourself in 5 words
 say "Atrocious counting skills". Laugh. Open
 packet of Mini Eggs.
 When asked if you found the place OK, say
 I was driven here by cab. Normally of
 course I'm driven by results!" 4 winks
 Know the interviewer's name and use it
 during the interview. If you're not sure
 what it is, call them Jobsy" or "Jobbo".
 THE META PICTURE
awesomesthesia:

Some Good Job Interview Tips

awesomesthesia: Some Good Job Interview Tips