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Being Alone, Baseball, and Cute: 6 at 10:22 PM- About 3 years ago I answered my phone and there was an elderly lady who said hello is this Johnny. I told her no it's not Johnny you must have the wrong number. She then proceeds to read my phone number back to me and I told her that the number she was calling could not be correct because it was my number. She then said she was sorry and hung up. She called again right after that. I told her no it's still me. She then would call me about once a week and I would have to tell her that she had the wrong number One time she called and I asked her how she was doing, she told me about her day, the noisy neighbors, her favorite TV show that she watched this afternoon and whatever else she wanted to tell me. She then asked me how my day was and I told her. She asked me how the kids were doing and I told talking to Johnny. I never told her I was Johnny but I never told her I wasn't. She would call about once every two weeks and the conversations usually went the same. When she asked about the kids I would tell her about mine She would talk about the last time she had seen them they were just little boys playing baseball in their cute uniforms. When I told her they were all grown up now she would remark that they grow up so fast. About six months ago I stopped getting phone calls. To be honest I really didn't think about it until I heard a commercial on the radio that sounded a lot like her. Then wondered what had happened to her. Well tonight when I got home from my men's meeting my phone rang and it was her. She told me that she had been ill and was in the hospital but she was much better now and home. She told me that they did not want her to come back home but she told them I've lived alone for 44 years I live alone just fine for the rest of my years. She then told me about her day about the noisy neighbors and about her TV show. She then told me she had to go because it was her bedtime, but we will talk again soon. Well curiosity got the better of me andI decided to do a reverse look up to see if I could find anything out about my mystery lady. Well I found her, she lives in the city& is 108 years old. I also found out her name for the first time because I never asked. Her first name swhich coincidentally was my grandmother's name. Her Johnny passed away about 23 years ago. I got this phone number about 21 years ago. So she very well may have had that correct number. It may have just been reassigned to me. I am looking forward to my next phone call from my friend Saw this post on my uncles facebook, made my day. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2QEBAi0
Being Alone, Baseball, and Cute: 6 at 10:22 PM-
 About 3 years ago I answered my phone and there was an elderly lady who
 said hello is this Johnny. I told her no it's not Johnny you must have the
 wrong number. She then proceeds to read my phone number back to me
 and I told her that the number she was calling could not be correct because
 it was my number. She then said she was sorry and hung up. She called
 again right after that. I told her no it's still me. She then would call me about
 once a week and I would have to tell her that she had the wrong number
 One time she called and I asked her how she was doing, she told me about
 her day, the noisy neighbors, her favorite TV show that she watched this
 afternoon and whatever else she wanted to tell me. She then asked me how
 my day was and I told her. She asked me how the kids were doing and I told
 talking to Johnny. I never told her I was Johnny but I never told her I wasn't.
 She would call about once every two weeks and the conversations usually
 went the same. When she asked about the kids I would tell her about mine
 She would talk about the last time she had seen them they were just little
 boys playing baseball in their cute uniforms. When I told her they were all
 grown up now she would remark that they grow up so fast. About six months
 ago I stopped getting phone calls. To be honest I really didn't think about it
 until I heard a commercial on the radio that sounded a lot like her. Then
 wondered what had happened to her. Well tonight when I got home from my
 men's meeting my phone rang and it was her. She told me that she had
 been ill and was in the hospital but she was much better now and home. She
 told me that they did not want her to come back home
 but she told them I've lived alone for 44 years I live alone just fine for the rest
 of my years. She then told me about her day about the noisy neighbors and
 about her TV show. She then told me she had to go because it was her
 bedtime, but we will talk again soon. Well curiosity got the better of me andI
 decided to do a reverse look up to see if I could find anything out about my
 mystery lady. Well I found her, she lives in the city& is 108 years old. I also
 found out her name for the first time because I never asked. Her first name
 swhich coincidentally was my grandmother's name. Her Johnny
 passed away about 23 years ago. I got this phone number about 21 years
 ago. So she very well may have had that correct number. It may have just
 been reassigned to me. I am looking forward to my next phone call from my
 friend
Saw this post on my uncles facebook, made my day. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2QEBAi0

Saw this post on my uncles facebook, made my day. via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2QEBAi0

Being Alone, Animals, and Dogs: HOW TO SWEAR AROUND THE WORLD VAFFANCULO CASSE-TOI! YUMAGO! BY JASON SACHER ILLUSTRATIONS BY TOBY TRIUMPH Perha human being, there happily copulates with animals in her and mean-spirited picture uld truly be reserved for moments of extreme anger. take kindly to the mental images that the phrases e the most obvious globally sho We as a species do not t below conjure. As you can imagine, insulting animal of choice to p have fun throwing a few more culturally specific ani consider the bears in Bulgaria, and reindeer (of c dogs ar air with a mother, but certain cultures imals in there BULGARIAN Mayka ti duha na mechki v gorata Your performs o performs oral sex upon bears in the forest." DUTCH Zoon van een hoerige kameel! Son of a camel whore!" With this insult, it's unclear whether one is saying the mother in question was a camel that was also a prostitute or a prostitute wh serviced camels. FINNISH Äitisi nai poroja! Your mother copulates with reindeer!" AOTIAN Ma see mea mung! Your mother enjoys keeping intimate company with dogs!" HOW TO SWEAR AROUND THE WORLD THE MOTHERLOD Fuck off uzendayo うぜーんだよ。 Motherfucker. kisama 貴様。 Asshole teme てめぇー。 Leave me the fuck alone. shitsukėndayo しつけ-んだよ。 I hate you. daikirai 大嫌い。 Ded na What did you just say!?! nandatö なんだと !?! Get out of my way. doke どけ。 Go to hell. shine 死ね。 Eat shit. kusokurae くそくらえ。 Shut the fuck up. ussendayo うっせ-んだよ。 What the fuck? ahoka アホか?! You're worthless. tsukaenė yatsu dana つかえねーやつだな。 eacefu ng. Just ent. My uS with a de. novelty-gift-ideas: How to Swear Around the World
Being Alone, Animals, and Dogs: HOW TO
 SWEAR
 AROUND
 THE WORLD
 VAFFANCULO
 CASSE-TOI!
 YUMAGO!
 BY JASON SACHER
 ILLUSTRATIONS BY TOBY TRIUMPH

 Perha
 human being, there
 happily copulates with animals in her
 and mean-spirited picture
 uld truly be reserved for moments of extreme anger.
 take kindly to the mental images that the phrases
 e the most obvious globally
 sho
 We as a species do not t
 below conjure. As you can imagine,
 insulting animal of choice to p
 have fun throwing a few more culturally specific ani
 consider the bears in Bulgaria, and reindeer (of c
 dogs ar
 air with a mother, but certain cultures
 imals in there
 BULGARIAN
 Mayka ti duha na mechki v gorata
 Your performs o
 performs oral sex upon bears in the forest."
 DUTCH
 Zoon van een hoerige kameel!
 Son of a camel whore!"
 With this insult, it's unclear whether one is saying the mother in
 question was a camel that was also a prostitute or a prostitute wh
 serviced camels.
 FINNISH
 Äitisi nai poroja!
 Your mother copulates with reindeer!"
 AOTIAN
 Ma see mea mung!
 Your mother enjoys keeping intimate company with dogs!"
 HOW TO SWEAR AROUND THE WORLD
 THE MOTHERLOD

 Fuck off
 uzendayo
 うぜーんだよ。
 Motherfucker.
 kisama
 貴様。
 Asshole
 teme
 てめぇー。
 Leave me the fuck alone.
 shitsukėndayo
 しつけ-んだよ。
 I hate you.
 daikirai
 大嫌い。
 Ded
 na
 What did you just say!?!
 nandatö
 なんだと
 !?!
 Get out of my way.
 doke
 どけ。
 Go to hell.
 shine
 死ね。
 Eat shit.
 kusokurae
 くそくらえ。
 Shut the fuck up.
 ussendayo
 うっせ-んだよ。
 What the fuck?
 ahoka
 アホか?!
 You're worthless.
 tsukaenė yatsu dana
 つかえねーやつだな。
 eacefu
 ng.
 Just
 ent.
 My
 uS
 with a
 de.
novelty-gift-ideas:

How to Swear Around the World

novelty-gift-ideas: How to Swear Around the World

Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE WAS A BAR FIGHT Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its litle brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and theat its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences
Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE
 WAS A BAR FIGHT
 Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub
 when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint
 Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new
 beer stains on its trouser leg
 Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view
 Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.
 Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for
 the cleaning of Austria's trousers.
 Russia and Serbia look at Austria.
 Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.
 Russia suggests that Austria should leave its litle brother alone.
 Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so.
 Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and theat
 its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene
 Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is
 looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?
 Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render
 Russia incapable of such action anymore.
 Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium
 Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they
 come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
 Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.
 France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany
 punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other
 Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over
 Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's
 side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.
 Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard
 feelings because Britain made Australia do it.
 France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and
 carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets
 knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete
 personality change
 Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over
 anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room
 chanting
 America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching
 from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a
 barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself
 By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is
 shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the
 first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is
 still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy
 drinks for all their friends
epicjohndoe:

World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences