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    Blessed, Crying, and Sorry: @oscarewilde
 i received this comically large pencil asa
 gift several years ago and my first
 thought, understandably, was 'what the
 christ am i meant to do with this?"

 工@oscarewilde. 1d
 the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite
 Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With
 This. And so a while ago i took it in with
 me to a lecture, hoping against hope that
 whichever poor Fool was unfortunate
 enough to sit next to me might have
 forgotten or misplaced their writing
 implement
 3
 0458 8,741
 工@oscarewilde. 1d
 utilising The Pencil is also dependent on
 the person not using a laptop. So the
 chances of success are extraordinarily
 slim, and I've only managed to find
 suitable candidates three times in all of
 the dozens of occasions i've had The
 Pencil on my person
 3
 I @oscarewilde 1d
 i size up my target, watching them feign
 patting their pockets in vain for the
 ballpoint they so obviously left at home,
 and i wait, i wait for the blessed
 question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could
 Borrow?

 I @oscarewilde .1d
 'Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a
 pencil.' 'That's fine!' i hear them say,
 distantly now, as the blood is rushing to
 my ears and i can barely hear them. I
 maintain a straight face. This is key to
 the delivery and the final blow
 5
 633
 13.8K
 @oscarewilde 1d
 I reach into my bag for The Pencil. The
 look of utter dumbfounded misery as i
 hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its
 sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker
 through the 5 stages of grief, landing on
 acceptance, as they realise it's This or
 Nothing
 7
 834
 14.8K

 @oscarewilde 10
 they Always take the pencil
 67
 2,088
 33.5K
prideprejudce:she weaponized her gag gift im crying
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Blessed, Crying, and Sorry: @oscarewilde
 i received this comically large pencil asa
 gift several years ago and my first
 thought, understandably, was 'what the
 christ am i meant to do with this?"

 工@oscarewilde. 1d
 the 2nd thought i had was: I'm Quite
 Certain I Could Ruin Someone's Day With
 This. And so a while ago i took it in with
 me to a lecture, hoping against hope that
 whichever poor Fool was unfortunate
 enough to sit next to me might have
 forgotten or misplaced their writing
 implement
 3
 0458 8,741
 工@oscarewilde. 1d
 utilising The Pencil is also dependent on
 the person not using a laptop. So the
 chances of success are extraordinarily
 slim, and I've only managed to find
 suitable candidates three times in all of
 the dozens of occasions i've had The
 Pencil on my person
 3
 I @oscarewilde 1d
 i size up my target, watching them feign
 patting their pockets in vain for the
 ballpoint they so obviously left at home,
 and i wait, i wait for the blessed
 question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could
 Borrow?

 I @oscarewilde .1d
 'Oh, i say, 'I'm so sorry; I only have a
 pencil.' 'That's fine!' i hear them say,
 distantly now, as the blood is rushing to
 my ears and i can barely hear them. I
 maintain a straight face. This is key to
 the delivery and the final blow
 5
 633
 13.8K
 @oscarewilde 1d
 I reach into my bag for The Pencil. The
 look of utter dumbfounded misery as i
 hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its
 sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker
 through the 5 stages of grief, landing on
 acceptance, as they realise it's This or
 Nothing
 7
 834
 14.8K

 @oscarewilde 10
 they Always take the pencil
 67
 2,088
 33.5K
prideprejudce:she weaponized her gag gift im crying
                
            

            
            
prideprejudce:she weaponized her gag gift im crying