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    Beautiful, Birthday, and Bless Up: This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four
 egged baby a happy birthday?
So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who don’t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT 👏 DAMN 👏 THING 👏 ON 👏 THAT 👏 SCREEN 👏 U 👏 GO 👏 BABY 👏 GIRL 👏 EFF 👏 JOEL 👏 WITCHOE 👏 SHARP 👏 WIT 👏 AND 👏 MOUNTAINOUS 👏 TÈTA$ 👏 LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while I’m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but y’all veins pump maple syrup it don’t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer I’ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, y’all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldn’t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this 😑 bless up 😍😂😂) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org ❤️. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Beautiful, Birthday, and Bless Up: This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four
 egged baby a happy birthday?
So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who don’t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT 👏 DAMN 👏 THING 👏 ON 👏 THAT 👏 SCREEN 👏 U 👏 GO 👏 BABY 👏 GIRL 👏 EFF 👏 JOEL 👏 WITCHOE 👏 SHARP 👏 WIT 👏 AND 👏 MOUNTAINOUS 👏 TÈTA$ 👏 LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while I’m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but y’all veins pump maple syrup it don’t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer I’ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, y’all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldn’t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this 😑 bless up 😍😂😂) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org ❤️. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)
                
            

            
            
So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run ...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Advice, America, and Bless Up: The moment you tell her to 'go get it!
Say bruh have u ever craved flaming hot Cheetos covered in nacho cheese and jalapeños with a sundae next to it that has mangoes, ice cream, sprinkles, a banana and a whole bunch of other sweet delicious things that don’t necessarily go together? “Smash is u pregnant? U suppose to be a man? Where these cravings come from?” I am a man and I am not pregnant cot damn it is called leg day at the gym and my quads jello RN and this place is real asf it is called La Michoacana 🍦😍. You do not have to be carrying a baby to enjoy this heavenly place, but if you are, it probably make it that much better 🤰🏻. You can find these joints everywhere. There are a bunch in Chicago and they are splendid. “wow smash you really gon stunt on us like that, I live in Bombacrab Missouri, we don’t have anything that spicy here.” BISH YES U DO, LOOK 👏 FOR 👏 THE 👏 MEXICANS 👏😂. I been telling y’all they got treasures for days u just gotta be exploratory. Perhaps a Mangonada? Lil mango wif chamoy sauce, mangos, lime juice, chili powder? “HOT SPICES ON FRUIT SMASH U EITHER WILDING OR U REALLY MEXICAN.” well I am not Mexican so that mean I am wilding, yes, AND? 😂 just put in ya mouth. personally I eat a$$ so I’ll try anything once ... my palette very experimental 🥳. The worst that can happen is that you love it and then you start making mangonada for yourself and then put on your tinder profile that you make a mean mangonada and you get swiped by a young investment banker named Julio who grew up around Mexico city and then got a degree in engineering and moved to America to kill it in banking and now you getting married and taking trips first class on his frequent flyer miles and your friend Megan is like “damn my boyfriend Jim is still sleeping on my couch, playing fork knife on my TV and stealing money out of my purse how did you get to be balling like this?” And you can say I took smash’s advice and started making spicy mango drinks and now I’m pregnant with my third mixed baby and we going to Paris next month. Boom! Bless up 😍😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Advice, America, and Bless Up: The moment you tell her to 'go get it!
Say bruh have u ever craved flaming hot Cheetos covered in nacho cheese and jalapeños with a sundae next to it that has mangoes, ice cream, sprinkles, a banana and a whole bunch of other sweet delicious things that don’t necessarily go together? “Smash is u pregnant? U suppose to be a man? Where these cravings come from?” I am a man and I am not pregnant cot damn it is called leg day at the gym and my quads jello RN and this place is real asf it is called La Michoacana 🍦😍. You do not have to be carrying a baby to enjoy this heavenly place, but if you are, it probably make it that much better 🤰🏻. You can find these joints everywhere. There are a bunch in Chicago and they are splendid. “wow smash you really gon stunt on us like that, I live in Bombacrab Missouri, we don’t have anything that spicy here.” BISH YES U DO, LOOK 👏 FOR 👏 THE 👏 MEXICANS 👏😂. I been telling y’all they got treasures for days u just gotta be exploratory. Perhaps a Mangonada? Lil mango wif chamoy sauce, mangos, lime juice, chili powder? “HOT SPICES ON FRUIT SMASH U EITHER WILDING OR U REALLY MEXICAN.” well I am not Mexican so that mean I am wilding, yes, AND? 😂 just put in ya mouth. personally I eat a$$ so I’ll try anything once ... my palette very experimental 🥳. The worst that can happen is that you love it and then you start making mangonada for yourself and then put on your tinder profile that you make a mean mangonada and you get swiped by a young investment banker named Julio who grew up around Mexico city and then got a degree in engineering and moved to America to kill it in banking and now you getting married and taking trips first class on his frequent flyer miles and your friend Megan is like “damn my boyfriend Jim is still sleeping on my couch, playing fork knife on my TV and stealing money out of my purse how did you get to be balling like this?” And you can say I took smash’s advice and started making spicy mango drinks and now I’m pregnant with my third mixed baby and we going to Paris next month. Boom! Bless up 😍😂
                
            

            
            
Say bruh have u ever craved flaming hot Cheetos covered in nacho cheese and jalapeños with a sundae next to it that has mangoes, ice cream, ...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Amazon, Bless Up, and Curving: Smooches from his fren make him very
 happy
So as y’all know smash suffer from insomnia, depression, anxiety, sadness, and general concern that bees are dying at an alarming rate 😰. However on top of this melancholy interior is an exterior of a reasonably handsome - moderately humorous lad so ppl fux with me and I am somewhat enjoyable to be around - thank u God 😍. Anyway to fix the sleep problem people been recommending I buy a weighted blanket. Went to amazon and clicked on the amazon choice and this bish said “Natural weight of the blanket, feeling like being hugged by your lover.” FAM!! 😂 U KNOW lonely people buying this! Why u rubbing it in?! “your lover” ... bish who? Where she at? Not in my bed! Wildin 😂. Anyway that bish came today and I picked up the box quick asf and cot damn near pullt a muscle. And I lift weights! Heavy! But I forgot I ordered this beast of a blanket 😂. Anyway y’all wish me luck. I do be getting big time middle of the night wood so if this blanky weigh my lil homie down and deform him I am suing amazon for EVERYTHING. Emotional distress, name it. The PP curve beautifully right now so if this weighted blanket heck me up and u see me in a Bentley Coupe with Draya Michelle in the passenger side just know that lawsuit money came thru O...krrrrrrrrrrrrrr! 😂 bless up 😍😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Amazon, Bless Up, and Curving: Smooches from his fren make him very
 happy
So as y’all know smash suffer from insomnia, depression, anxiety, sadness, and general concern that bees are dying at an alarming rate 😰. However on top of this melancholy interior is an exterior of a reasonably handsome - moderately humorous lad so ppl fux with me and I am somewhat enjoyable to be around - thank u God 😍. Anyway to fix the sleep problem people been recommending I buy a weighted blanket. Went to amazon and clicked on the amazon choice and this bish said “Natural weight of the blanket, feeling like being hugged by your lover.” FAM!! 😂 U KNOW lonely people buying this! Why u rubbing it in?! “your lover” ... bish who? Where she at? Not in my bed! Wildin 😂. Anyway that bish came today and I picked up the box quick asf and cot damn near pullt a muscle. And I lift weights! Heavy! But I forgot I ordered this beast of a blanket 😂. Anyway y’all wish me luck. I do be getting big time middle of the night wood so if this blanky weigh my lil homie down and deform him I am suing amazon for EVERYTHING. Emotional distress, name it. The PP curve beautifully right now so if this weighted blanket heck me up and u see me in a Bentley Coupe with Draya Michelle in the passenger side just know that lawsuit money came thru O...krrrrrrrrrrrrrr! 😂 bless up 😍😂😂
                
            

            
            
So as y’all know smash suffer from insomnia, depression, anxiety, sadness, and general concern that bees are dying at an alarming rate 😰. Ho...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Bless Up, Love, and Memes: Really good boy loves baths
 @DrSmashlove
ME ASF. I LOVE THE SHOWER MORE THAN ANYTHING. ESPECIALLY WITH REALLY HOT WATER AFTER A KILLER WORKOUT. THERAPY 😍 BLESS UP 😍 (first slide: @bluestaffy)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bless Up, Love, and Memes: Really good boy loves baths
 @DrSmashlove
ME ASF. I LOVE THE SHOWER MORE THAN ANYTHING. ESPECIALLY WITH REALLY HOT WATER AFTER A KILLER WORKOUT. THERAPY 😍 BLESS UP 😍 (first slide: @bluestaffy)
                
            

            
            
ME ASF. I LOVE THE SHOWER MORE THAN ANYTHING. ESPECIALLY WITH REALLY HOT WATER AFTER A KILLER WORKOUT. THERAPY 😍 BLESS UP 😍 (first slide: @b...