ask


                    
                    
                

🔥 | Latest

Ass, Fucking, and Google: unpicasso probably my favorite thing abt being a millennial is that i can lie on my resume abt shit like being proficient in excel bc i have the common sense to just google anything i dont know how to do which gives me a giant fucking edge over gen x in the job market bc somehow that strategy never occurs to employers and my underqualified ass looks like steve jobs every time i use a youtube tutorial to make a spreadsheet jadelyn Everyone in my office sings my praises for what I can do with excel for this exact reason, even though I joke with them that "I have no idea how to do that but give me half an hour and an internet connection and I'lI figure something out for you." I even once specifically said in response to my grandboss commenting on my excel skills, "You do realize that I just like.. .google stuff when you ask me to do something with excel that I don't know how to do, right?" But his praise didn't change at all. There was no "Wait, that's all it is? Instead, he said "Yes, but the fact that you think to do that and that you know exactly how to phrase your searches and how to sift through the results to get the right answer, and you then integrate what you've learned and use it going forward is still so much more than any of the rest of us [the other 5 ppl on my team are all mid-40s and up] can do. To you, it's "just googling stuff, but it's still a unique and valuable skill you bring, so don't shrug off the compliments so cavalierly, okay? And this was coming from an executive with an MBA. Don't undervalue your googling skills, kids. It's not lying if you know you can figure it out a millennial’s advantage
Ass, Fucking, and Google: unpicasso
 probably my favorite thing abt being a millennial is that i can lie on my resume
 abt shit like being proficient in excel bc i have the common sense to just google
 anything i dont know how to do which gives me a giant fucking edge over gen x
 in the job market bc somehow that strategy never occurs to employers and my
 underqualified ass looks like steve jobs every time i use a youtube tutorial to
 make a spreadsheet
 jadelyn
 Everyone in my office sings my praises for what I can do with excel for this
 exact reason, even though I joke with them that "I have no idea how to do that
 but give me half an hour and an internet connection and I'lI figure something
 out for you." I even once specifically said in response to my grandboss
 commenting on my excel skills, "You do realize that I just like.. .google stuff
 when you ask me to do something with excel that I don't know how to do,
 right?"
 But his praise didn't change at all. There was no "Wait, that's all it is?
 Instead, he said "Yes, but the fact that you think to do that and that you know
 exactly how to phrase your searches and how to sift through the results to get
 the right answer, and you then integrate what you've learned and use it going
 forward is still so much more than any of the rest of us [the other 5 ppl on my
 team are all mid-40s and up] can do. To you, it's "just googling stuff, but it's
 still a unique and valuable skill you bring, so don't shrug off the compliments so
 cavalierly, okay?
 And this was coming from an executive with an MBA. Don't undervalue your
 googling skills, kids. It's not lying if you know you can figure it out
a millennial’s advantage

a millennial’s advantage

Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE WAS A BAR FIGHT Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its litle brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and theat its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action anymore. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences
Being Alone, America, and Another One: IF WORLD WAR ONE
 WAS A BAR FIGHT
 Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub
 when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint
 Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new
 beer stains on its trouser leg
 Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view
 Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.
 Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for
 the cleaning of Austria's trousers.
 Russia and Serbia look at Austria.
 Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.
 Russia suggests that Austria should leave its litle brother alone.
 Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so.
 Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and theat
 its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene
 Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is
 looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?
 Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render
 Russia incapable of such action anymore.
 Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium
 Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they
 come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
 Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.
 France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany
 punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other
 Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over
 Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's
 side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.
 Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard
 feelings because Britain made Australia do it.
 France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and
 carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets
 knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete
 personality change
 Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over
 anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room
 chanting
 America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching
 from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a
 barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself
 By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is
 shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the
 first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is
 still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy
 drinks for all their friends
epicjohndoe:

World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

epicjohndoe: World War One Explained In A Few Sentences

I Bet, Shower, and Sorry: THE EXPERIMENT A GROUP OF SCIENTISTS PLACED 5 MONKEYS IN A CAGE AND IN THE MIDDLE, A LADDER WITH BANANAS ON TOP EVERY TIME A MONKEY WENT UP THE LADDER, THE SCIENTISTS SOAKED THE REST OF THE MONKEYS WITH COLD WATER. AFTER A WHILE, EVERY TIME A MONKEY WENT UP THE LADDER, THE OTHER ONES BEAT UP THE ONE ON THE LADDER. AFTER SOME TIME, NO MONKEY DARE TO GO UP THE LADDER REGARDLESS OF THE TEMPTATION. SCIENTISTS THEN DECIDED TO SUBSTITUTE ONE OF THE MONKEYS. THE FIRST THING THIS NEW MONKEY DID WAS TO GO UP THE LADDER. IMMEDIATELY THE OTHER MONKEYS BEAT HIM UP. AFTER SEVERAL BEATINGS, THE NEW MEMBER LEARNED NOT TO CLIMB THE LADDER EVEN THOUGH NEVER KNEW WHY THE SECOND MONKEY WAS SUBSTITUTED AND THE SAME OCCURED. THE FIRST MONKEY PARTICIPATED ON THE BEATING FOR THE SECOND MONKEY. A THIRD MONKEY WAS CHANGED AND THE SAME WAS REPEATED. THE FOURTH WAS SUBSTITUTED AND THE BEATING WAS REPEATED AND FINALLY THE FIFTH MONKEY WAS REPLACED. WHAT WAS LEFT WAS A GROUP OF 5 MONKEYS THAT EVEN THOUGH NEVER RECEIVED A COLD SHOWER, CONTINUED TO BEAT UP ANY MONKEY WHO ATTEMPTED TO CLIMB THE LADDER. IF IT WAS POSSIBLE TO ASK THE MONKEYS WHY THEY WOULD BEAT UPALL THOSE WHO ATTEMPTED TO GO UP THE LADDER, I BET THEIR ANSWER WOULD BE: "I DON T KNOW. THAT'S HOW THINGS ARE DONE AROUND HERE." DON T MISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE THIS WITH OTHERS AS THEY MIGHT BE ASKING THEMSELVES WHY WE CONTINUE TO DO WHAT WE ARE DOING IF THERE IS A DIFFERENT WAY OUT THERE. Conclusion: Don't follow others behavior, think before you follow. And sorry for the long post, here's a BANANA epicjohndoe: This Experiment Made A Lot Of People Think
I Bet, Shower, and Sorry: THE EXPERIMENT
 A GROUP OF SCIENTISTS PLACED 5 MONKEYS IN A CAGE
 AND IN THE MIDDLE, A LADDER WITH BANANAS ON TOP
 EVERY TIME A MONKEY WENT UP THE LADDER, THE
 SCIENTISTS SOAKED THE REST OF THE MONKEYS WITH
 COLD WATER.
 AFTER A WHILE, EVERY TIME A MONKEY WENT UP THE
 LADDER, THE OTHER ONES BEAT UP THE ONE ON THE
 LADDER.
 AFTER SOME TIME, NO MONKEY DARE TO GO UP THE
 LADDER REGARDLESS OF THE TEMPTATION.
 SCIENTISTS THEN DECIDED TO SUBSTITUTE ONE OF THE
 MONKEYS. THE FIRST THING THIS NEW MONKEY DID WAS
 TO GO UP THE LADDER. IMMEDIATELY THE OTHER MONKEYS
 BEAT HIM UP.
 AFTER SEVERAL BEATINGS, THE NEW MEMBER LEARNED
 NOT TO CLIMB THE LADDER EVEN THOUGH NEVER KNEW
 WHY
 THE SECOND MONKEY WAS SUBSTITUTED AND THE SAME
 OCCURED. THE FIRST MONKEY PARTICIPATED ON THE
 BEATING FOR THE SECOND MONKEY. A THIRD MONKEY
 WAS CHANGED AND THE SAME WAS REPEATED.
 THE FOURTH WAS SUBSTITUTED AND THE BEATING WAS
 REPEATED AND FINALLY THE FIFTH MONKEY WAS REPLACED.
 WHAT WAS LEFT WAS A GROUP OF 5 MONKEYS THAT
 EVEN THOUGH NEVER RECEIVED A COLD SHOWER,
 CONTINUED TO BEAT UP ANY MONKEY WHO ATTEMPTED
 TO CLIMB THE LADDER.
 IF IT WAS POSSIBLE TO ASK THE MONKEYS WHY THEY
 WOULD BEAT UPALL THOSE WHO ATTEMPTED TO GO UP
 THE LADDER, I BET THEIR ANSWER WOULD BE:
 "I DON T KNOW. THAT'S HOW THINGS ARE DONE
 AROUND HERE."
 DON T MISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE THIS WITH
 OTHERS AS THEY MIGHT BE ASKING THEMSELVES WHY
 WE CONTINUE TO DO WHAT WE ARE DOING IF THERE
 IS A DIFFERENT WAY OUT THERE.
 Conclusion:
 Don't follow others behavior, think
 before you follow.
 And
 sorry for the long post, here's a
 BANANA
epicjohndoe:

This Experiment Made A Lot Of People Think

epicjohndoe: This Experiment Made A Lot Of People Think