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Alive, Ass, and Bad: @NikoUgy The first nigga to ever beat his meat had to be like YOODOOO0OD0ODD00oo0d OO0O000000O!l! 12/11/16, 06:48 2,585 RETWEETS 3,399 LIKES This was literally me at the age of 13 June 13 2008 2:39 pm. It was a Friday and I just came home from my last day of school. My friend isiah hooked up my MySpace page so a nigga can accumulate clout. As soon as you click my profile sponegebob and Patrick, strapped up with hella bands and two bad bitches twerking with a song from my lil Wayne play mix. When you scrolled all the way to the bottom my boy threw some porn on there for the real ones who be creeping to see who's in your top 5 of friends. I had some slow ass dial up computer my mom got from the flee market. I was home watching big wet ebonys booties vol 7. Watching asses clap with force strong enough to cause a sonic boom. Everything happen so fast. I look down making eye contact like it's o time. I swear a spirit took over me and I hit my meat with a nasty 4 piece combo. My shit felt like a volcano. I tried to stop but couldn't.Ended up pulling a plaxico burgess and took a shot to the foot. My grandma pulled up to crib swiftly. I can hear her coming down the stairs slow as fuck. My whole lower body numb. Im stuck in the chair tryna clear this sin off my screen. This computer ain't shutting off. I had to drop kick the monitor to shut off. My grandma walk in like "what you doing I bought you some Burger King". I'm using the spirit energy form my anvcestors to keep me alive. Whole nut drained my power levels. I went up stairs and fucked up them bk chicken fries. Shit was prob the greatest feeling ever. Ain't nothing like that first nut. forgot to wash my hands tho.
Alive, Ass, and Bad: @NikoUgy
 The first nigga to ever beat his
 meat had to be like
 YOODOOO0OD0ODD00oo0d
 OO0O000000O!l!
 12/11/16, 06:48
 2,585 RETWEETS 3,399 LIKES
This was literally me at the age of 13 June 13 2008 2:39 pm. It was a Friday and I just came home from my last day of school. My friend isiah hooked up my MySpace page so a nigga can accumulate clout. As soon as you click my profile sponegebob and Patrick, strapped up with hella bands and two bad bitches twerking with a song from my lil Wayne play mix. When you scrolled all the way to the bottom my boy threw some porn on there for the real ones who be creeping to see who's in your top 5 of friends. I had some slow ass dial up computer my mom got from the flee market. I was home watching big wet ebonys booties vol 7. Watching asses clap with force strong enough to cause a sonic boom. Everything happen so fast. I look down making eye contact like it's o time. I swear a spirit took over me and I hit my meat with a nasty 4 piece combo. My shit felt like a volcano. I tried to stop but couldn't.Ended up pulling a plaxico burgess and took a shot to the foot. My grandma pulled up to crib swiftly. I can hear her coming down the stairs slow as fuck. My whole lower body numb. Im stuck in the chair tryna clear this sin off my screen. This computer ain't shutting off. I had to drop kick the monitor to shut off. My grandma walk in like "what you doing I bought you some Burger King". I'm using the spirit energy form my anvcestors to keep me alive. Whole nut drained my power levels. I went up stairs and fucked up them bk chicken fries. Shit was prob the greatest feeling ever. Ain't nothing like that first nut. forgot to wash my hands tho.

This was literally me at the age of 13 June 13 2008 2:39 pm. It was a Friday and I just came home from my last day of school. My friend isia...

Ass, Girls, and Pop: Am I the only one who does this? I know Ima get hate for this but girls don't got any idea the suffering dudes go through with random boners popping up everywhere. They got pregnancy and periods but we got an overactive snake in our pants. Imagine this snake is a spoiled fucker and never listens to you and pops up whenever he feels like it. Only way to get rid of the snake is to pet it profusely till it calms down. But what happens if you're in public and can't pet that nigga until you get home? Ima tell y'all what to do in that situation. As soon as ya snake wanna try some fuck shit and pop up. Strangle that fucker with both hands. Make sure you got it in a vice grip. Smack it around. Grab ya waist band from ya boxers or pants and tuck that fuck nigga in there. Make sure you put most of the girth into the waist band or else it'll get loose againπŸ’ͺ🏽. You don't want that. Shit if you wanna go the extra mile. Cut a rubber band in half and wrap it round ya belt loops. You got yourself a makeshift snake gate. Oh yeah make sure you wear a shirt that's a size larger then what you normally wear cause half ya dick gone be laid flat against ya stomach when you subdue the suspect. If you got a small dick don't stress it, just sag ya jeans to meet ya dick level. This technique saved me at my 8th grade dance. Saw shortie in a aqua blue dress with non existent ass and titties. Something bout her got a boy going. Thats a story for later tho.
Ass, Girls, and Pop: Am I the only one who does this?
I know Ima get hate for this but girls don't got any idea the suffering dudes go through with random boners popping up everywhere. They got pregnancy and periods but we got an overactive snake in our pants. Imagine this snake is a spoiled fucker and never listens to you and pops up whenever he feels like it. Only way to get rid of the snake is to pet it profusely till it calms down. But what happens if you're in public and can't pet that nigga until you get home? Ima tell y'all what to do in that situation. As soon as ya snake wanna try some fuck shit and pop up. Strangle that fucker with both hands. Make sure you got it in a vice grip. Smack it around. Grab ya waist band from ya boxers or pants and tuck that fuck nigga in there. Make sure you put most of the girth into the waist band or else it'll get loose againπŸ’ͺ🏽. You don't want that. Shit if you wanna go the extra mile. Cut a rubber band in half and wrap it round ya belt loops. You got yourself a makeshift snake gate. Oh yeah make sure you wear a shirt that's a size larger then what you normally wear cause half ya dick gone be laid flat against ya stomach when you subdue the suspect. If you got a small dick don't stress it, just sag ya jeans to meet ya dick level. This technique saved me at my 8th grade dance. Saw shortie in a aqua blue dress with non existent ass and titties. Something bout her got a boy going. Thats a story for later tho.

I know Ima get hate for this but girls don't got any idea the suffering dudes go through with random boners popping up everywhere. They got ...