assess


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

        🔥 | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            







    assess: ask-kirby-sans:

paddysnuffles:

cyhiraeth:

jumpingjacktrash:

vertisol:

offendedfunyarinpa:

dduane:

laurelai:

angelalchemy:

standbyfortitanfall:

girlwithalessonplan:

heliosapollo:

losed:

A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN

yes hello i am here to learn geometries

That crow is more prepared than some of my students.

You’ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. There’s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL. 

THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM

Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans.

Corvids. Who KNOWS. :)

Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn’t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are.

they still shit all over the place and eat garbage

ok but so do we



@neurodivergent-crow 

Cool facts about crows:
1. Crows understand the concept of gifts.
There’s a little girl who started feeding the murder by her house and they started bringing her trinkets (cool pebbles, coins, shiny things, bleached animal bones, etc) as a thank you. 
2. Crows remember who has been kind to them and tell other crows about the nice humans.
There are various examples of people who have helped crows and the crows not only come back to say hi, but also bring friends who need help over for the nice human to help.
3. Crows are the only other animal known to make tools in order to make another tool.
4. Crows have been proven to have a sense of self
If you mark them with a coloured dot that they can see and then show them their reflection in a mirror they soon realize that the reflection is them and not another crow.
5. Crows have regional dialects and accents.
They are also able to copy each other’s dialects and accents to fit in if they move to an area where the accent is different.
6. Crows regularly visit their parents after leaving the nest.
They also regularly live with their parents after reaching adulthood to help with raising their younger siblings for up to five years before moving out.



Crows are better than people

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                assess: ask-kirby-sans:

paddysnuffles:

cyhiraeth:

jumpingjacktrash:

vertisol:

offendedfunyarinpa:

dduane:

laurelai:

angelalchemy:

standbyfortitanfall:

girlwithalessonplan:

heliosapollo:

losed:

A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN

yes hello i am here to learn geometries

That crow is more prepared than some of my students.

You’ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. There’s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL. 

THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM

Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans.

Corvids. Who KNOWS. :)

Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn’t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are.

they still shit all over the place and eat garbage

ok but so do we



@neurodivergent-crow 

Cool facts about crows:
1. Crows understand the concept of gifts.
There’s a little girl who started feeding the murder by her house and they started bringing her trinkets (cool pebbles, coins, shiny things, bleached animal bones, etc) as a thank you. 
2. Crows remember who has been kind to them and tell other crows about the nice humans.
There are various examples of people who have helped crows and the crows not only come back to say hi, but also bring friends who need help over for the nice human to help.
3. Crows are the only other animal known to make tools in order to make another tool.
4. Crows have been proven to have a sense of self
If you mark them with a coloured dot that they can see and then show them their reflection in a mirror they soon realize that the reflection is them and not another crow.
5. Crows have regional dialects and accents.
They are also able to copy each other’s dialects and accents to fit in if they move to an area where the accent is different.
6. Crows regularly visit their parents after leaving the nest.
They also regularly live with their parents after reaching adulthood to help with raising their younger siblings for up to five years before moving out.



Crows are better than people

                
            

            
            
ask-kirby-sans:

paddysnuffles:

cyhiraeth:

jumpingjacktrash:

vertisol:

offendedfunyarinpa:

dduane:

laurelai:

angelalchemy:

standb...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    assess: ONEWS RELEASE
 MEDIA CONTACT: Jordan Stein
 Director of Communications
 jordan.stein@gunowners.org
 AMER 703-321-8585
 January 22, 2019
 For immediate release
 GOA Applauds Supreme Court for Granting Cert in Case Involving New York
 City's Draconian Gun Laws
 Springfield, VA
 Today the United States Supreme Court qranted a Writ of Certiorari in
 P v. NY City, a case in which Gun Owners of America (GOA) and Gun Owners
 Foundation (GOF) have submitted an amicus brief.
 This case challenges New York City's near-prohibition on possessing or transportin
 handguns, and this is the first major Second Amendment challenge to be reviewed by the
 Supreme Court in almost a decade.
 GOA's executive director, Erich Pratt, stated, "Gun owners across the country especialy
 those behind enemy lines living in anti-qun states are rejoicing that the Supreme Court
 is taking up a Second Amendment case. For far too long, judges have ignored the Second
 Amendment, along with the Heller and McDonald decisions, instead employing a
 alancing' test that effectively leaves gun owners in anti-gun states with a second-class
 right to keep and bear arms
 In fact, GOA's brief specfically challenges the "balancing" approach taken by judges in the
 lower courts
 GOA's brief states, "Heller and McDonaldleave little doubt that courts are to assess qun
 Ewhere judges] usurp the role of the Framers of the Second Amendment.
 "GOA's hard-hitting brief before the Supreme Court cuts to the heart of this problem by
 arguing that judges have to follow the Constitution and the text of the Second
 Amendment rather than imposing their own preconceived views upon the text," Pratt
 concluded.
 GOA's brief can be viewed here
 Erich Pratt, or another GOA spokesman, is available for interviews. Gun Owners of America
BREAKING: GOA Applauds Supreme Court for Granting Cert in Case Involving New York City’s Draconian Gun Laws “GOA’s hard-hitting brief before the Supreme Court cuts to the heart of this problem by arguing that judges have to follow the Constitution - and the text of the Second Amendment - rather than imposing their own preconceived views upon the text,” - GOA's Erich Pratt SCOTUS 2A nyc secondamendment goasupporters gunowners gunownersofamerica
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                assess: ONEWS RELEASE
 MEDIA CONTACT: Jordan Stein
 Director of Communications
 jordan.stein@gunowners.org
 AMER 703-321-8585
 January 22, 2019
 For immediate release
 GOA Applauds Supreme Court for Granting Cert in Case Involving New York
 City's Draconian Gun Laws
 Springfield, VA
 Today the United States Supreme Court qranted a Writ of Certiorari in
 P v. NY City, a case in which Gun Owners of America (GOA) and Gun Owners
 Foundation (GOF) have submitted an amicus brief.
 This case challenges New York City's near-prohibition on possessing or transportin
 handguns, and this is the first major Second Amendment challenge to be reviewed by the
 Supreme Court in almost a decade.
 GOA's executive director, Erich Pratt, stated, "Gun owners across the country especialy
 those behind enemy lines living in anti-qun states are rejoicing that the Supreme Court
 is taking up a Second Amendment case. For far too long, judges have ignored the Second
 Amendment, along with the Heller and McDonald decisions, instead employing a
 alancing' test that effectively leaves gun owners in anti-gun states with a second-class
 right to keep and bear arms
 In fact, GOA's brief specfically challenges the "balancing" approach taken by judges in the
 lower courts
 GOA's brief states, "Heller and McDonaldleave little doubt that courts are to assess qun
 Ewhere judges] usurp the role of the Framers of the Second Amendment.
 "GOA's hard-hitting brief before the Supreme Court cuts to the heart of this problem by
 arguing that judges have to follow the Constitution and the text of the Second
 Amendment rather than imposing their own preconceived views upon the text," Pratt
 concluded.
 GOA's brief can be viewed here
 Erich Pratt, or another GOA spokesman, is available for interviews. Gun Owners of America
BREAKING: GOA Applauds Supreme Court for Granting Cert in Case Involving New York City’s Draconian Gun Laws “GOA’s hard-hitting brief before the Supreme Court cuts to the heart of this problem by arguing that judges have to follow the Constitution - and the text of the Second Amendment - rather than imposing their own preconceived views upon the text,” - GOA's Erich Pratt SCOTUS 2A nyc secondamendment goasupporters gunowners gunownersofamerica
                
            

            
            
BREAKING: GOA Applauds Supreme Court for Granting Cert in Case Involving New York City’s Draconian Gun Laws “GOA’s hard-hitting brief bef...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    assess: chelhathno:

sulegeo44:

Making Distressed Jeans

The technology for Terminators is already here and we wear it on our assess.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                assess: chelhathno:

sulegeo44:

Making Distressed Jeans

The technology for Terminators is already here and we wear it on our assess.

                
                

                
            

            
            
chelhathno:

sulegeo44:

Making Distressed Jeans

The technology for Terminators is already here and we wear it on our assess.


            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    assess: WTVR CBS 6 Richmond
 @CBS6
 Trick-or-treaters over age 12 could face fine,
 jail time in one Virginia city bit.ly/2yq8FTN
 8:35 PM 9 Oct 2018
 203 Retweets 248 Likes

 molly
 @socialistdogmom
 H-
 white people consistently overestimate
 the age of black children. what could go
 wrong
 WTVR CBS 6 Richmond@CBS6
 Trick-or-treaters over age 12 could face fine, jail time in
 one Virginia city bit.ly/2yq8FTN
 7:06 AM 10 Oct 2018
 10,151 Retweets 32,801 Likes
 缴剱@の必骖則.

 molly )
 @socialistdogmom
 apa.org/news/press/rel
 in this study, white female undergrads
 overestimated the age of black teenage
 boys by an average of 4.5 years. these
 women are barely out of their teens
 themselves imagine how much
 stronger that tendency to overestimate
 is if you're a racist old man
 The students were also shown photographs
 alongside descriptions of various crimes and
 asked to assess the age and innocence of white,
 black or Latino boys ages 10 to 17. The students
 overestimated the age of blacks by an average
 of 4.5 years and found them more culpable than
 EGO DEATH
 or Latinos, particularly when the boys
 were matched with serious crimes, the study
 found. Researchers used questionnaires to
 assess the participants' prejudice and
 dehumanization of blacks. They found that
 participants who implicitly associated blacks with
 apes thought the black children were older and
 less innocent.
 7:17 AM 10 Oct 2018

 Kenni
 @ItsKenniYall
 Replying to @socialistdogmom
 When I was twelve, a woman in the grocery
 store asked me if my baby sister was my child
 11:20 AM 10 Oct 2018

 maybe they snapped
 @UniversalyBlack
 Replying to @socialistdogmom @ItsKenniYall
 When I was in 6th grade shopping with my
 MOTHER a white women came up to me and
 asked if I worked there
barbaradeservesbetter:

redpaladin-lance:

blackqueerblog:what the hell

I’m six years older than my step sister but people have been assuming for YEARS that she’s older than me because she’s taller than me. This is going to backfire so badly.

it’s not going to backfire. they want it to turn out badly, they know what they’re doing here. it’s calculated.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                assess: WTVR CBS 6 Richmond
 @CBS6
 Trick-or-treaters over age 12 could face fine,
 jail time in one Virginia city bit.ly/2yq8FTN
 8:35 PM 9 Oct 2018
 203 Retweets 248 Likes

 molly
 @socialistdogmom
 H-
 white people consistently overestimate
 the age of black children. what could go
 wrong
 WTVR CBS 6 Richmond@CBS6
 Trick-or-treaters over age 12 could face fine, jail time in
 one Virginia city bit.ly/2yq8FTN
 7:06 AM 10 Oct 2018
 10,151 Retweets 32,801 Likes
 缴剱@の必骖則.

 molly )
 @socialistdogmom
 apa.org/news/press/rel
 in this study, white female undergrads
 overestimated the age of black teenage
 boys by an average of 4.5 years. these
 women are barely out of their teens
 themselves imagine how much
 stronger that tendency to overestimate
 is if you're a racist old man
 The students were also shown photographs
 alongside descriptions of various crimes and
 asked to assess the age and innocence of white,
 black or Latino boys ages 10 to 17. The students
 overestimated the age of blacks by an average
 of 4.5 years and found them more culpable than
 EGO DEATH
 or Latinos, particularly when the boys
 were matched with serious crimes, the study
 found. Researchers used questionnaires to
 assess the participants' prejudice and
 dehumanization of blacks. They found that
 participants who implicitly associated blacks with
 apes thought the black children were older and
 less innocent.
 7:17 AM 10 Oct 2018

 Kenni
 @ItsKenniYall
 Replying to @socialistdogmom
 When I was twelve, a woman in the grocery
 store asked me if my baby sister was my child
 11:20 AM 10 Oct 2018

 maybe they snapped
 @UniversalyBlack
 Replying to @socialistdogmom @ItsKenniYall
 When I was in 6th grade shopping with my
 MOTHER a white women came up to me and
 asked if I worked there
barbaradeservesbetter:

redpaladin-lance:

blackqueerblog:what the hell

I’m six years older than my step sister but people have been assuming for YEARS that she’s older than me because she’s taller than me. This is going to backfire so badly.

it’s not going to backfire. they want it to turn out badly, they know what they’re doing here. it’s calculated.
                
            

            
            
barbaradeservesbetter:

redpaladin-lance:

blackqueerblog:what the hell

I’m six years older than my step sister but people have been ass...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    assess: Uh-oh, a robot just passed the
 self-awareness test
 By Duncan Geere 13 hours ago World of tech
 And probably two others
 SHARES 3.6K
 ASIM0
 HONDA
portmanteau-bot:

suspicious-robot:

donottouchmychicken:

lasagnacat:

nefepants:

gallowsfoo:

grindrella:

spacedrinks:

HOLY SHIT THIS IS HUGE

i don’t know why everyone is so obsessed with the zombie apocalypse when the robot war is a real and looming threat

fooexe
Good news
Your world is becoming real

Basically they got three robots, told them that two of them were given “dumbing pills”, and they asked one which pill it was given.
The robot of course wasn’t sure if it had or hadn’t yet and said “I don’t know”, but after it looked at the other silent robots (who were actually unable to speak from the start), it realized that its fully functional, and then was finally able to say “I know now.”
It can assess itself and its behavior in relation to other robots and people. It can make that differentiation between “me” and “I”, and understand that it is an individual.
People are shrugging this off, but this is a similar self-awareness test to how people put mirrors in front of animals to see if it treats the reflection like another animal or treat it like a reflection.

we’re all gonna die

yep


ROBOT FRIENDS!!!! 

robot + friends = robiends.Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1I like you all, squishy, hairless monkeys. (^·^) | PayPal | Patreon
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                assess: Uh-oh, a robot just passed the
 self-awareness test
 By Duncan Geere 13 hours ago World of tech
 And probably two others
 SHARES 3.6K
 ASIM0
 HONDA
portmanteau-bot:

suspicious-robot:

donottouchmychicken:

lasagnacat:

nefepants:

gallowsfoo:

grindrella:

spacedrinks:

HOLY SHIT THIS IS HUGE

i don’t know why everyone is so obsessed with the zombie apocalypse when the robot war is a real and looming threat

fooexe
Good news
Your world is becoming real

Basically they got three robots, told them that two of them were given “dumbing pills”, and they asked one which pill it was given.
The robot of course wasn’t sure if it had or hadn’t yet and said “I don’t know”, but after it looked at the other silent robots (who were actually unable to speak from the start), it realized that its fully functional, and then was finally able to say “I know now.”
It can assess itself and its behavior in relation to other robots and people. It can make that differentiation between “me” and “I”, and understand that it is an individual.
People are shrugging this off, but this is a similar self-awareness test to how people put mirrors in front of animals to see if it treats the reflection like another animal or treat it like a reflection.

we’re all gonna die

yep


ROBOT FRIENDS!!!! 

robot + friends = robiends.Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1I like you all, squishy, hairless monkeys. (^·^) | PayPal | Patreon
                
            

            
            
portmanteau-bot:

suspicious-robot:

donottouchmychicken:

lasagnacat:

nefepants:

gallowsfoo:

grindrella:

spacedrinks:

HOLY SHIT THI...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    assess: GAINST F
 SAVES A MERICA
 DAY
 THRE
 Dear Citizen,
 In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our
 country's biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much
 wealth as the bottom 90%
 our lawyers wouldn't let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich
 Cards Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth
 Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest
 people and live in their houses so we settled for something more achievable. Today
 recipients and sent them each a check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting
 these people's lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com
 The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
 You got nothing. And if you don't like it, tough titties
 love you,
 Cards Against Humanity
 My money stolen
 by Cards Against
 Humanity and
 redistributed to
 people poorer
 than me.
 Oh shit! I just got
 SAGAINSTHUMANITYSAVESA
 Cards Against Humanity
 Cards Against Humanity
fandomsandfeminism:
systlin:


republicansareahategroup:

jinglemurdocks:

friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:


cyrodiil-burns:


kasaron:


systlin:

strutsonicely:

tomyfancy:

systlin:
I’M DYING
Day 3 of 5
“Dear Citizen,
In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%.
Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth.
Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each  check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties.
I love you,
Cards Against Humanity”


I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor. 

Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it. 

This is actually kinda sketchy.
If they had more than 17,000 people participate, they start turning a profit (you need around 7,000 “donators” to give 100 people $1,000USD, and then 10,000 people to get their $15USD refund).
They got 150,000 people to donate.
That means they made around 2 million dollars USD in profit.
Since they are NOT a charity organization, they have no responsibility to inform the public of what they’re spending that money on, and how much gets fed into pockets of their own bigwigs. 
I repeat, this is a mega, MEGA sketchy scheme that relies on the good-will of others and their own branding as a quirky company to possibly turn a massive profit, and it gave them free advertising through social media and news media.
I’m glad some of it went to people who needed it; but the fact that around 4% of the proceeds went into those checks went to the donations/gifts, and a total of 11% was either returned or gifted. 89% of it went into CAH’s pockets should be a significant wake-up call as to the real intent behind this. 


Lmao way to get capitalized on


Socialists getting fooled by fake wokers


TBH it’s not a good idea to give money to companies that haven’t been rated by Charity Navigator. CAH is stealing, using #wokeness as a shield, and the gullible are falling for it.

You’re all fucking dumbasses. Nobody “donated” to CAH for this promotion you fuckwads, people paid $15 to be a part of it and get whatever surprises they threw at customers. The amount of people in the notes who have no fucking idea about what this promotion was or how it was marketed acting like CAH is some false charity is fucking astonishing

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Seriously the amount of people on this post fundamentally misunderstanding the whole concept of the CAH holiday event and thinking I and the other people who bought it got duped is ridiculous. 
We didn’t donate the money, you dopes. We bought a product that we knew would would make us laugh our assess off and CAH delivered while also doing some nice stuff for other people. 
Fuckin’ hell. 


Also, THIS isn’t the only part of the holiday event. Everyone’s $15 also paid for:
Day 1: they bought a piece of land along the border and hired a public domain lawyer, just to slow down Trumps wall. 
Day 2: the good news podcast, production, and all of the stickers/posters for it
Day 3: the Wealth Distribution 
Day 4: they paid for a shit ton of Donor’s Choose projects for teachers. 
Day 5: they ran “pulse of the nation ” polling. 
So of course not ALL the money went towards JUST day 3. That was never the plan?! 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                assess: GAINST F
 SAVES A MERICA
 DAY
 THRE
 Dear Citizen,
 In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our
 country's biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much
 wealth as the bottom 90%
 our lawyers wouldn't let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich
 Cards Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth
 Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest
 people and live in their houses so we settled for something more achievable. Today
 recipients and sent them each a check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting
 these people's lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com
 The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
 You got nothing. And if you don't like it, tough titties
 love you,
 Cards Against Humanity
 My money stolen
 by Cards Against
 Humanity and
 redistributed to
 people poorer
 than me.
 Oh shit! I just got
 SAGAINSTHUMANITYSAVESA
 Cards Against Humanity
 Cards Against Humanity
fandomsandfeminism:
systlin:


republicansareahategroup:

jinglemurdocks:

friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:


cyrodiil-burns:


kasaron:


systlin:

strutsonicely:

tomyfancy:

systlin:
I’M DYING
Day 3 of 5
“Dear Citizen,
In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%.
Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth.
Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each  check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties.
I love you,
Cards Against Humanity”


I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor. 

Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it. 

This is actually kinda sketchy.
If they had more than 17,000 people participate, they start turning a profit (you need around 7,000 “donators” to give 100 people $1,000USD, and then 10,000 people to get their $15USD refund).
They got 150,000 people to donate.
That means they made around 2 million dollars USD in profit.
Since they are NOT a charity organization, they have no responsibility to inform the public of what they’re spending that money on, and how much gets fed into pockets of their own bigwigs. 
I repeat, this is a mega, MEGA sketchy scheme that relies on the good-will of others and their own branding as a quirky company to possibly turn a massive profit, and it gave them free advertising through social media and news media.
I’m glad some of it went to people who needed it; but the fact that around 4% of the proceeds went into those checks went to the donations/gifts, and a total of 11% was either returned or gifted. 89% of it went into CAH’s pockets should be a significant wake-up call as to the real intent behind this. 


Lmao way to get capitalized on


Socialists getting fooled by fake wokers


TBH it’s not a good idea to give money to companies that haven’t been rated by Charity Navigator. CAH is stealing, using #wokeness as a shield, and the gullible are falling for it.

You’re all fucking dumbasses. Nobody “donated” to CAH for this promotion you fuckwads, people paid $15 to be a part of it and get whatever surprises they threw at customers. The amount of people in the notes who have no fucking idea about what this promotion was or how it was marketed acting like CAH is some false charity is fucking astonishing

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Seriously the amount of people on this post fundamentally misunderstanding the whole concept of the CAH holiday event and thinking I and the other people who bought it got duped is ridiculous. 
We didn’t donate the money, you dopes. We bought a product that we knew would would make us laugh our assess off and CAH delivered while also doing some nice stuff for other people. 
Fuckin’ hell. 


Also, THIS isn’t the only part of the holiday event. Everyone’s $15 also paid for:
Day 1: they bought a piece of land along the border and hired a public domain lawyer, just to slow down Trumps wall. 
Day 2: the good news podcast, production, and all of the stickers/posters for it
Day 3: the Wealth Distribution 
Day 4: they paid for a shit ton of Donor’s Choose projects for teachers. 
Day 5: they ran “pulse of the nation ” polling. 
So of course not ALL the money went towards JUST day 3. That was never the plan?! 

                
            

            
            
fandomsandfeminism:
systlin:


republicansareahategroup:

jinglemurdocks:

friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:


cyrodiil-burns:


kasaron:...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    assess: jumpingiacktrash
 vertisol
 ndedfunyarin
 dduane
 aurelai
 standbyfortitanfall
 thal
 heliosapollo
 losed
 A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE
 HAD A PEN
 yes hello i am here to learn geometries
 That crow is more prepared than some of my students.
 You've all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this
 crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is
 trying to return it. There's been videos of crows picking up sweet
 wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans
 put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to
 return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL
 THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM
 Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectiy
 possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it
 belongs to humans.
 Corvids. Who KNOWS.)
 Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason
 and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn't know each other each
 take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab
 meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had
 separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized
 that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting
 over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the
 scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and
 the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a
 peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter
 than we are
 they still shit all over the place and eat garbage
 ok but so do we
Obligatory reference to Unidan
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                assess: jumpingiacktrash
 vertisol
 ndedfunyarin
 dduane
 aurelai
 standbyfortitanfall
 thal
 heliosapollo
 losed
 A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE
 HAD A PEN
 yes hello i am here to learn geometries
 That crow is more prepared than some of my students.
 You've all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this
 crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is
 trying to return it. There's been videos of crows picking up sweet
 wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans
 put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to
 return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL
 THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM
 Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectiy
 possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it
 belongs to humans.
 Corvids. Who KNOWS.)
 Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason
 and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn't know each other each
 take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab
 meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had
 separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized
 that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting
 over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the
 scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and
 the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a
 peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter
 than we are
 they still shit all over the place and eat garbage
 ok but so do we
Obligatory reference to Unidan
                
            

            
            
Obligatory reference to Unidan

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    assess: jumpingjacktrash:

vertisol:

offendedfunyarinpa:

dduane:

laurelai:

angelalchemy:

standbyfortitanfall:

girlwithalessonplan:

heliosapollo:

losed:

A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN

yes hello i am here to learn geometries

That crow is more prepared than some of my students.

You’ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. There’s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL. 

THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM

Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans.

Corvids. Who KNOWS. :)

Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn’t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are.

they still shit all over the place and eat garbage

ok but so do we

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                assess: jumpingjacktrash:

vertisol:

offendedfunyarinpa:

dduane:

laurelai:

angelalchemy:

standbyfortitanfall:

girlwithalessonplan:

heliosapollo:

losed:

A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN

yes hello i am here to learn geometries

That crow is more prepared than some of my students.

You’ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. There’s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL. 

THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM

Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans.

Corvids. Who KNOWS. :)

Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn’t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are.

they still shit all over the place and eat garbage

ok but so do we

                
            

            
            
jumpingjacktrash:

vertisol:

offendedfunyarinpa:

dduane:

laurelai:

angelalchemy:

standbyfortitanfall:

girlwithalessonplan:

heliosa...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    assess: HELLO, EUERYOnE.
 I WANT TO REACH OUT TO YOU
 GUYS FOR HELP. EUEN A LITTLE.
 PLEASE CONSIDER BELOW
knightingaleforce:

Hello guys,
Ash/Gale here.
Oofff……okay this is hard for me to have to put this up because first I don’t want to come off as desperate and second, I’m so tired and stressed about this that I haven’t even slept. I’m hoping some followers on this blog could help spread the word, it’s really important.
Today at the vet, I was advised to take my cat Oliver to a specialist because in the past few days he has hasn’t been his normal self. The pic above is when he was still healthy – but now he is no longer able to move as much, only able to hold himself up for a mere few seconds, then giving up and sinking to the floor. He now hasn’t eaten much for days. The vet cannot assess what’s wrong with him unless they look at an MRI scan, which is costly. And this is where I ask for financial help. The link below will direct you to a gofund page. I’d appreciate any help, truly!
https://www.gofundme.com/kittyoliver
I’m afraid leaving Oliver in his somewhat vegetated condition will only make things worse for him. My dad, who is more concerned about the costs (and rightly so, because we only live from paycheck-to-paycheck) suggests to euthanize Oliver. And that is not something I want to do. He is part of our family and an immense joy  stress-reliever for my mom especially. To have to put him down just because of this is heartbreaking to me.
Please, even if you can’t donate any amount, just reblogging helps a TON. I’m so sorry this is so out of the blue, but it would mean so much to me 😞 THanks so much.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                assess: HELLO, EUERYOnE.
 I WANT TO REACH OUT TO YOU
 GUYS FOR HELP. EUEN A LITTLE.
 PLEASE CONSIDER BELOW
knightingaleforce:

Hello guys,
Ash/Gale here.
Oofff……okay this is hard for me to have to put this up because first I don’t want to come off as desperate and second, I’m so tired and stressed about this that I haven’t even slept. I’m hoping some followers on this blog could help spread the word, it’s really important.
Today at the vet, I was advised to take my cat Oliver to a specialist because in the past few days he has hasn’t been his normal self. The pic above is when he was still healthy – but now he is no longer able to move as much, only able to hold himself up for a mere few seconds, then giving up and sinking to the floor. He now hasn’t eaten much for days. The vet cannot assess what’s wrong with him unless they look at an MRI scan, which is costly. And this is where I ask for financial help. The link below will direct you to a gofund page. I’d appreciate any help, truly!
https://www.gofundme.com/kittyoliver
I’m afraid leaving Oliver in his somewhat vegetated condition will only make things worse for him. My dad, who is more concerned about the costs (and rightly so, because we only live from paycheck-to-paycheck) suggests to euthanize Oliver. And that is not something I want to do. He is part of our family and an immense joy  stress-reliever for my mom especially. To have to put him down just because of this is heartbreaking to me.
Please, even if you can’t donate any amount, just reblogging helps a TON. I’m so sorry this is so out of the blue, but it would mean so much to me 😞 THanks so much.

                
            

            
            
knightingaleforce:

Hello guys,
Ash/Gale here.
Oofff……okay this is hard for me to have to put this up because first I don’t want to come...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    assess: jumpingjacktrash:

vertisol:

offendedfunyarinpa:

dduane:

laurelai:

angelalchemy:

standbyfortitanfall:

girlwithalessonplan:

heliosapollo:

losed:

A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN

yes hello i am here to learn geometries

That crow is more prepared than some of my students.

You’ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. There’s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL. 

THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM

Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans.

Corvids. Who KNOWS. :)

Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn’t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are.

they still shit all over the place and eat garbage

ok but so do we

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                assess: jumpingjacktrash:

vertisol:

offendedfunyarinpa:

dduane:

laurelai:

angelalchemy:

standbyfortitanfall:

girlwithalessonplan:

heliosapollo:

losed:

A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN

yes hello i am here to learn geometries

That crow is more prepared than some of my students.

You’ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. There’s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL. 

THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM

Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans.

Corvids. Who KNOWS. :)

Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn’t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are.

they still shit all over the place and eat garbage

ok but so do we

                
            

            
            
jumpingjacktrash:

vertisol:

offendedfunyarinpa:

dduane:

laurelai:

angelalchemy:

standbyfortitanfall:

girlwithalessonplan:

heliosa...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    assess: The many faces of derp
The hygiene discussion continues. My lil homegirl text me this morning: “Hahaah omg smash! My friends have encountered a few guys lately that aren't circumsized and don't wash well..... how does someone not notice!???” Now men if y’all possess Thee Natural Foreskin nine times out of ten it’s yo mama’s fault - she was just following cultural norms and told the OB “whoa derr...you ain’t chopping off my son’s foreskin” and the doctor followed mama’s wishes and left lil man’s PP intact. For instance my Dominican homie told me that most Dominicans leave the PP skin intact. My lil Armenian homegirl told me that Armenian men are 50-50, sometimes Cleanie Weenie, sometimes Cheesy Weasy u feel me? Personally I’m Cleanie Weenie but I respect all cultures. Regardless, it’s on a grown man to assess the cleanliness of his situation and cleanse accordingly. Men if u all-natural uncut imma need u to boil some water in the microwave. Put a towel over your head and breathe that steam nice and deep to cleanse the nasal passage. Then take a cup full of coffee beans just like they got at Sephora and take a nice deep breath to cleanse yo palette. Then wait a few seconds, drop ya drawls, bend all the way over so yo nostrils is closest to yo PP, pull the covering back, and inhale deeply. If it smell like Dove soap bruv...lilacs and lavender and almond butter coconut essence? U good money. On the other hand if it smell like that sliced cheese assortment u copped at Costco for a party one time bc u felt like u grown and u gon serve wine and cheese at a party but u had left over cheese from the platter so u stuffed it in the back left corner of the fridge behind the strawberries and bread and u find it eight months later and it got a farm of green foliage growing on it Bruv and u took one whiff and u wanted to vomit ... if yo PP smell like an expired grown-and-sexy Costco cheese platter Bruv? YOU NEED TO CLEANSE YASELF. Just warm water and soap. Shit ain’t rocket science. RIP to the dignity of the poor women that u subject to your CheesyPP — Susan B Anthony ain’t die for this. WE CAN DO BETTER. BLESS UP 🤞😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                assess: The many faces of derp
The hygiene discussion continues. My lil homegirl text me this morning: “Hahaah omg smash! My friends have encountered a few guys lately that aren't circumsized and don't wash well..... how does someone not notice!???” Now men if y’all possess Thee Natural Foreskin nine times out of ten it’s yo mama’s fault - she was just following cultural norms and told the OB “whoa derr...you ain’t chopping off my son’s foreskin” and the doctor followed mama’s wishes and left lil man’s PP intact. For instance my Dominican homie told me that most Dominicans leave the PP skin intact. My lil Armenian homegirl told me that Armenian men are 50-50, sometimes Cleanie Weenie, sometimes Cheesy Weasy u feel me? Personally I’m Cleanie Weenie but I respect all cultures. Regardless, it’s on a grown man to assess the cleanliness of his situation and cleanse accordingly. Men if u all-natural uncut imma need u to boil some water in the microwave. Put a towel over your head and breathe that steam nice and deep to cleanse the nasal passage. Then take a cup full of coffee beans just like they got at Sephora and take a nice deep breath to cleanse yo palette. Then wait a few seconds, drop ya drawls, bend all the way over so yo nostrils is closest to yo PP, pull the covering back, and inhale deeply. If it smell like Dove soap bruv...lilacs and lavender and almond butter coconut essence? U good money. On the other hand if it smell like that sliced cheese assortment u copped at Costco for a party one time bc u felt like u grown and u gon serve wine and cheese at a party but u had left over cheese from the platter so u stuffed it in the back left corner of the fridge behind the strawberries and bread and u find it eight months later and it got a farm of green foliage growing on it Bruv and u took one whiff and u wanted to vomit ... if yo PP smell like an expired grown-and-sexy Costco cheese platter Bruv? YOU NEED TO CLEANSE YASELF. Just warm water and soap. Shit ain’t rocket science. RIP to the dignity of the poor women that u subject to your CheesyPP — Susan B Anthony ain’t die for this. WE CAN DO BETTER. BLESS UP 🤞😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
The hygiene discussion continues. My lil homegirl text me this morning: “Hahaah omg smash! My friends have encountered a few guys lately...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    assess: voxeterna1
 So I'm a music teacher and every year we have what are called "walk through
 observations. Basically, this means that 4 times a year the principal or vice
 principal comes into my class to assess my teaching. Fine. Sure. No problem.
 Well, today I was doing an activity with my 1st graders called·Musical
 Groceries". Basically, they make up a fake shopping list and then together we
 figure out what the rhythm of the words on the list is. To do that, a small group
 of students plays the beat on the conga drum while the rest of the students
 move around the room while chanting the word. It sounds weird but it's a great
 way for the kids to figure out the relationship between syllables and thythm.
 They quickly get bored of walking the rhythm so I let them come up with their
 own ways of moving around the room.( skipping, hopping, etc) One student
 suggested they hop around the room like frogs, way down low to the ground.
 Okay fine.
 Or it was fine until my vice principal walked in to do my observation only to find
 20 seven year olds hopping around the room like a hoard of little hob-goblins,
 rhythmically chanting "BREADI BREADI BREADI while five other kids played
 ominous beats in a drum circle
 I have never seen anyone look so confused in my life and I really don't want to
 know the rating I got on my observation
 O Text Quelle: voxetema1
 50.053 Anmerkungen
My mum just used the phrase "bodice ripper" in a sentence I'm dead
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                assess: voxeterna1
 So I'm a music teacher and every year we have what are called "walk through
 observations. Basically, this means that 4 times a year the principal or vice
 principal comes into my class to assess my teaching. Fine. Sure. No problem.
 Well, today I was doing an activity with my 1st graders called·Musical
 Groceries". Basically, they make up a fake shopping list and then together we
 figure out what the rhythm of the words on the list is. To do that, a small group
 of students plays the beat on the conga drum while the rest of the students
 move around the room while chanting the word. It sounds weird but it's a great
 way for the kids to figure out the relationship between syllables and thythm.
 They quickly get bored of walking the rhythm so I let them come up with their
 own ways of moving around the room.( skipping, hopping, etc) One student
 suggested they hop around the room like frogs, way down low to the ground.
 Okay fine.
 Or it was fine until my vice principal walked in to do my observation only to find
 20 seven year olds hopping around the room like a hoard of little hob-goblins,
 rhythmically chanting "BREADI BREADI BREADI while five other kids played
 ominous beats in a drum circle
 I have never seen anyone look so confused in my life and I really don't want to
 know the rating I got on my observation
 O Text Quelle: voxetema1
 50.053 Anmerkungen
My mum just used the phrase "bodice ripper" in a sentence I'm dead
                
            

            
            
My mum just used the phrase "bodice ripper" in a sentence I'm dead