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Aztec: CW CNN @CNN Follow European colonizers killed so many Native Americans that it changed the global climate, researchers say cnn.it/2DR3W1C 8:00 PM -2 Feb 2019 924 Retweets 1,321 Likes SULLDHONHS Sophia Chang Follow @sophchang "European settlers killed 56 million indigenous people over about 100 years..." 56 million. It took a long time for me to process that figure CNN @CNN European colonizers killed so many Native Americans that it changed the global climate, researchers say cnn.it/2DR3W1c 9:45 AM -3 Feb 2019 1,872 Retweets 2,388 Likes Follow @RadRoopa Replying to @sophchang And to think, the world population in 1900 was only 1.5 billion compared to today's 7.5 billion I don't know what the world pop was like in 1500 but 56 millions would've been a HUGE percentage of that. That astronomical number is definitely hard to process 9:25 PM - 3 Feb 2019 Follow @RadRoopa Replying to @RadRoopa @sophchang I just looked it up and the world pop in 1600 was about 570 million. They wiped out TEN PERCENT of the world's population. That's the equivalent of 750 million ppl today. Whoa 9:50 PM - 3 Feb 2019 evergreennightmare: red-stick-progressive: aossidhboyee: red-stick-progressive: burdenbasket: gahdamnpunk: This is insane holy fuck, this is A LOT Also that figure is way too low, modern population estimates might be as much as twice that. There were between 25 and 40 million in central Mexico alone, almost as many people in the North Amazon, almost as many in the Andes, and almost as many in the American South. All saw 80 to 99 percent population loss in the period of 2 to 3 generations. The Greater Mississippi River Basin had a population somewhere between 5 and 12 million, the Eastern Woodlands had about as many, about as many in the Central Amazon, and almost as many on the American West Coast and North West Coast respectively. All of which saw 85 to 99 percent population losses in 2 or three generations after the others. Multiple factions if European interests killed all the natives they could and destroyed all the culture and history they could. They were not limited by gender, language, religion, culture, ethnic group, nationality, geography, or time period; just every single person they could. That’s not even genocide, it’s apocalypse. Why are you all omitting the well known fact that it was not purposeful genocide but simply new microbes introduced that no one knew about at that time. Cuz that’s not true. Tw genocide, tw violence When Columbus realized the pigs they brought were getting the Islanders sick he arranged to loose as many as possible ahead of them primarily into the Benne region, I believe. Cortez loaded sickened corpses into Tenochtitlan’s aqueducts, Spain deliberately targeted the priests of Mexican society first because they knew it would severely undermine the public ability to treat disease. When the post Incan city states developed a treatment for malaria, the Spanish deliberately targeted the cities producing the quinine treatment and made it illegal to sell it to non-christians. The Spanish took all the sick and forced them at sword-point to go back to their homes instead of to the sick houses or the temples throughout the new world, and forced anyone who wasn’t sick to work in the mines or the coin factories melting and pressing their cultural treasures down into Spanish coins. The English were just as bad, they started the smallpox blankets. A lot of the loss was not deliberate infections like this but it was preventable at a million different crossroads and every European culture took the opportunity to weaponize the plagues when they could. They knew what they were doing, just cuz they didn’t know what germs were doesn’t mean they have some accidental relationship with it. Alexander the great used biological warfare after all, so it’s not like you can pretend the concept was alien to them, they wrote about it. Besides they did plenty of old fashioned killing too, there were Spanish conquistadors that estimated their own personal, individual killings might have numbered over the ten thousands. They were sure they’d killed more than ten million in “New Spain” alone. They crucified people they smashed babies on the rocks, they set fire to buildings they forced women and children into and cooked their meals over the burning corpses, they loosed war dogs on people. They sold children into sex slavery to be raped by disease riddled pedos back in Europe and if taking their virginity didn’t cure the sick creeps the native children would be killed or sometimes sent back. The English were just as bad, shooting children in front of their mothers and forcing them to mop their blood with their hair. Turning human scalps into currency. Feeding babies to dogs in front of their mothers and fathers. Killing whole villages and erasing them from their maps so that historians would think God had made it empty just for the English. The Americans after them burned crops and drove several species of bison to extinction just to starve the plains tribes. They pushed the blankets too. On top of the wars of extermination and scalp hunting and concentration and laws defining natives as non-persons so that we’d never be protected by the Constitution. And even if you wanna live in some dreamy fairytale where God just made a whoopsie and then there were no natives left, nobody forced them to erase our history. The Spanish burned every document they found to erase the literacy and literary tradition of the Central and South Americans. There are essentially three Aztec documents left and some excavated pottery, and some archeological inscriptions and that’s it. The single most advanced culture in math and anatomical medicine erased probably forever. Same to the Inca, the most advanced fiber and alloy engineers and economists gone forever. Nobody made them do that. Nobody forced the American colonizers to steal political technology and act like they invented democracy or sovereignty. Nobody forced them to build their cities on top of native ones and erase them from history forever. Baltimore was built on Chesapeake, which translates roughly to “city at the top of the great water” in most Algonquin tongues. My favorite example is Cumberland in Western MD, they didn’t even reshape the roads or anything, they paved the steps and walking paths natives had used for hundreds of years and now it’s almost impossible to drive cuz the streets are too narrow or steep. The culture that built them didn’t have horses. Phoenix AZ, called Phoenix cuz the settlers literally found an old city and “brought it back to life.” Did they save any history or cultural artifacts? No. Most cities on the east coast are like this. Nobody forced them to erase that history. Colonizers are not innocent just cuz the germs did a lot of the work of the apocalypse. (tlaxcallān had a democratic form of government)
Aztec: CW CNN
 @CNN
 Follow
 European colonizers killed so many Native
 Americans that it changed the global climate,
 researchers say cnn.it/2DR3W1C
 8:00 PM -2 Feb 2019
 924 Retweets 1,321 Likes
 SULLDHONHS

 Sophia Chang
 Follow
 @sophchang
 "European settlers killed 56 million
 indigenous people over about 100 years..." 56
 million. It took a long time for me to process
 that figure
 CNN
 @CNN
 European colonizers killed so many Native Americans that it changed
 the global climate, researchers say cnn.it/2DR3W1c
 9:45 AM -3 Feb 2019
 1,872 Retweets 2,388 Likes

 Follow
 @RadRoopa
 Replying to @sophchang
 And to think, the world population in 1900
 was only 1.5 billion compared to today's 7.5
 billion
 I don't know what the world pop was like in
 1500 but 56 millions would've been a HUGE
 percentage of that.
 That astronomical number is definitely hard
 to process
 9:25 PM - 3 Feb 2019

 Follow
 @RadRoopa
 Replying to @RadRoopa @sophchang
 I just looked it up and the world pop in 1600
 was about 570 million.
 They wiped out TEN PERCENT of the world's
 population.
 That's the equivalent of 750 million ppl today.
 Whoa
 9:50 PM - 3 Feb 2019
evergreennightmare:
red-stick-progressive:

aossidhboyee:


red-stick-progressive:

burdenbasket:


gahdamnpunk:
This is insane
holy fuck, this is A LOT


Also that figure is way too low, modern population estimates might be as much as twice that. There were between 25 and 40 million in central Mexico alone, almost as many people in the North Amazon, almost as many in the Andes, and almost as many in the American South. All saw 80 to 99 percent population loss in the period of 2 to 3 generations. 
The Greater Mississippi River Basin had a population somewhere between 5 and 12 million, the Eastern Woodlands had about as many, about as many in the Central Amazon, and almost as many on the American West Coast and North West Coast respectively. All of which saw 85 to 99 percent population losses in 2 or three generations after the others.
Multiple factions if European interests killed all the natives they could and destroyed all the culture and history they could. They were not limited by gender, language, religion, culture, ethnic group, nationality, geography, or time period; just every single person they could. 
That’s not even genocide, it’s apocalypse.


Why are you all omitting the well known fact that it was not purposeful genocide but simply new microbes introduced that no one knew about at that time.


Cuz that’s not true. 
Tw genocide, tw violence
When Columbus realized the pigs they brought were getting the Islanders sick he arranged to loose as many as possible ahead of them primarily into the Benne region, I believe. Cortez loaded sickened corpses into Tenochtitlan’s aqueducts, Spain deliberately targeted the priests of Mexican society first because they knew it would severely undermine the public ability to treat disease. When the post Incan city states developed a treatment for malaria, the Spanish deliberately targeted the cities producing the quinine treatment and made it illegal to sell it to non-christians. The Spanish took all the sick and forced them at sword-point to go back to their homes instead of to the sick houses or the temples throughout the new world, and forced anyone who wasn’t sick to work in the mines or the coin factories melting and pressing their cultural treasures down into Spanish coins. The English were just as bad, they started the smallpox blankets. A lot of the loss was not deliberate infections like this but it was preventable at a million different crossroads and every European culture took the opportunity to weaponize the plagues when they could. 
They knew what they were doing, just cuz they didn’t know what germs were doesn’t mean they have some accidental relationship with it. Alexander the great used biological warfare after all, so it’s not like you can pretend the concept was alien to them, they wrote about it.
Besides they did plenty of old fashioned killing too, there were Spanish conquistadors that estimated their own personal, individual killings might have numbered over the ten thousands. They were sure they’d killed more than ten million in “New Spain” alone. They crucified people they smashed babies on the rocks, they set fire to buildings they forced women and children into and cooked their meals over the burning corpses, they loosed war dogs on people. They sold children into sex slavery to be raped by disease riddled pedos back in Europe and if taking their virginity didn’t cure the sick creeps the native children would be killed or sometimes sent back.
The English were just as bad, shooting children in front of their mothers and forcing them to mop their blood with their hair. Turning human scalps into currency. Feeding babies to dogs in front of their mothers and fathers. Killing whole villages and erasing them from their maps so that historians would think God had made it empty just for the English. 
The Americans after them burned crops and drove several species of bison to extinction just to starve the plains tribes. They pushed the blankets too. On top of the wars of extermination and scalp hunting and concentration and laws defining natives as non-persons so that we’d never be protected by the Constitution.
And even if you wanna live in some dreamy fairytale where God just made a whoopsie and then there were no natives left, nobody forced them to erase our history. The Spanish burned every document they found to erase the literacy and literary tradition of the Central and South Americans. There are essentially three Aztec documents left and some excavated pottery, and some archeological inscriptions and that’s it. The single most advanced culture in math and anatomical medicine erased probably forever. Same to the Inca, the most advanced fiber and alloy engineers and economists gone forever. Nobody made them do that. Nobody forced the American colonizers to steal political technology and act like they invented democracy or sovereignty. Nobody forced them to build their cities on top of native ones and erase them from history forever. Baltimore was built on Chesapeake, which translates roughly to “city at the top of the great water” in most Algonquin tongues. My favorite example is Cumberland in Western MD, they didn’t even reshape the roads or anything, they paved the steps and walking paths natives had used for hundreds of years and now it’s almost impossible to drive cuz the streets are too narrow or steep. The culture that built them didn’t have horses. Phoenix AZ, called Phoenix cuz the settlers literally found an old city and “brought it back to life.” Did they save any history or cultural artifacts? No. Most cities on the east coast are like this. Nobody forced them to erase that history.
Colonizers are not innocent just cuz the germs did a lot of the work of the apocalypse.

(tlaxcallān had a democratic form of government)

evergreennightmare: red-stick-progressive: aossidhboyee: red-stick-progressive: burdenbasket: gahdamnpunk: This is insane holy fuck...

Aztec: ubercharge: sindri42: bettsplendens: dallasrecklessandrelentless: That fuckin smile at the end To the worried person in the comments:  No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink, which is a Pokemon that supposedly powers its heart by bouncing, and as such can’t stop moving. Hummingbirds don’t sit often because they’re busy looking for food, but they can and do sit. The females sit on eggs in nests, after all, and they do have to sleep.  Fun fact: the leg muscles of a hummingbird are so stripped down to save on weight that they cannot walk. They can step sideways along a branch or other perch, but they cannot go forward without taking flight. However they absolutely do stop moving. In fact, hummingbirds hibernate! Overnight. Instead of sleeping. Because if they tried to sleep like a normal animal their hyperactive metabolism would mean that they starve to death before breakfast. Unrelated fun fact: the primary Aztec god of war would take on the form of a hummingbird, and the souls of the bravest warriors were said to turn into hummingbirds in order to join him after death, presumably because every hummingbird is approximately four grams of pure concentrated asskicking which fears no man nor beast and will gladly throw down with somebody seventeen thousand times their size if offended. this is a really cool post and i love seeing such a small bird but reading “No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink” killed me 
Aztec: ubercharge:
sindri42:

bettsplendens:

dallasrecklessandrelentless:
That fuckin smile at the end
To the worried person in the comments: 
No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink, which is a Pokemon that supposedly powers its heart by bouncing, and as such can’t stop moving. Hummingbirds don’t sit often because they’re busy looking for food, but they can and do sit. The females sit on eggs in nests, after all, and they do have to sleep. 

Fun fact: the leg muscles of a hummingbird are so stripped down to save on weight that they cannot walk. They can step sideways along a branch or other perch, but they cannot go forward without taking flight.
However they absolutely do stop moving. In fact, hummingbirds hibernate! Overnight. Instead of sleeping. Because if they tried to sleep like a normal animal their hyperactive metabolism would mean that they starve to death before breakfast.
Unrelated fun fact: the primary Aztec god of war would take on the form of a hummingbird, and the souls of the bravest warriors were said to turn into hummingbirds in order to join him after death, presumably because every hummingbird is approximately four grams of pure concentrated asskicking which fears no man nor beast and will gladly throw down with somebody seventeen thousand times their size if offended.

this is a really cool post and i love seeing such a small bird but reading “No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink” killed me 

ubercharge: sindri42: bettsplendens: dallasrecklessandrelentless: That fuckin smile at the end To the worried person in the comments:...

Aztec: HOT CHOCOLATE Peppernit 1 CUP WHOLE MILK 1/2 CUP CHOCOLATE CHIPS 1 TSP PEPPERMINT 1 CUP 1/2 TBSP. SUGAR 1/2 TBSP. GRATED 2 02 DARK ORANGEZEST CHOCOLATE 4 1 CUP VANILİA ALMOND MILK 1-1/2 TBSP. 2 TSP. COCONUT PALM SUGAR 1 CUP 5oz. CHOPPED DARK CHOCOLATE 1/4 TSP. CINNAMON TINY PINCH CAYENNE COCOA POW DER 1 CUP SKIM MILK 1/2 CUP HEAVY 4OZ. MILK CHOCOLATE CHOPPED 1/4 CUP CREAMY 1 TSP /2TSP 1 CUP 1 TSP WHOLEMILK UNSWEETENED SYRUP PIE SPICE DARK COCOA ⑦ nutella NUTELLA 1 CUP WHOLE MILK 1 TBSP. COCOA 3 TBSP. CARAMEL SAUCE 2 TBSP PINCH SALT 1/2 CUP 5 OZ MILK CHOCOLATE, CHOPPED 1/4CUP HEAVY ⑨ seauenden White 10 grish 2 OZ BAILEY'S IRISH CREAM 1 CUP 1/4TSP 1/2 CUP WHITE 1 CUP MILK 1/2 CUP CHOCOLATE CHIPS WHOLE MILK LAVENDER BUDS CHOCOLATE CHIPS TOP IT OFF: cinnamon stick.canamel BROUGHT TO You BY sheknows witchylass: witchoncampus: foodffs: The Ultimate Guide For Spiced Hot Chocolate Really nice recipes. Every hour. Show me what you cooked! Make it Witchy:Peppermint - attract money, confidence in speechOrange - joy, warmth, strengthVegan - compassionAztec - defense, spiritual shield, strengthen auraPeanut Butter - protect children, comfortPumpkin Spice - romance, friendship, holiday spirit Nutella - happiness, comfortCaramel - relieve stress, beauty Lavender White - sleep, soothing, pleasant dreams Irish - luck, imagination, faith Turn three times clockwise as you repeat your desired result to activate ingredients. 🤗☕☕☕☕😍😍😍
Aztec: HOT
 CHOCOLATE
 Peppernit
 1 CUP
 WHOLE MILK
 1/2 CUP
 CHOCOLATE CHIPS
 1 TSP
 PEPPERMINT
 1 CUP
 1/2 TBSP.
 SUGAR
 1/2 TBSP. GRATED 2 02 DARK
 ORANGEZEST CHOCOLATE
 4
 1 CUP VANILİA
 ALMOND MILK
 1-1/2 TBSP.
 2 TSP. COCONUT
 PALM SUGAR
 1 CUP
 5oz.
 CHOPPED DARK
 CHOCOLATE
 1/4 TSP.
 CINNAMON
 TINY PINCH
 CAYENNE
 COCOA POW DER
 1 CUP
 SKIM MILK
 1/2 CUP HEAVY 4OZ. MILK
 CHOCOLATE
 CHOPPED
 1/4 CUP
 CREAMY
 1 TSP
 /2TSP
 1 CUP
 1 TSP
 WHOLEMILK UNSWEETENED
 SYRUP
 PIE SPICE
 DARK COCOA
 ⑦ nutella
 NUTELLA
 1 CUP
 WHOLE MILK
 1 TBSP.
 COCOA
 3 TBSP.
 CARAMEL
 SAUCE
 2 TBSP
 PINCH SALT
 1/2 CUP
 5 OZ MILK
 CHOCOLATE,
 CHOPPED
 1/4CUP
 HEAVY
 ⑨ seauenden White
 10 grish
 2 OZ BAILEY'S
 IRISH CREAM
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 LAVENDER BUDS CHOCOLATE CHIPS
 TOP IT OFF:
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 BROUGHT TO You BY sheknows
witchylass:

witchoncampus:

foodffs:


The Ultimate Guide For Spiced Hot Chocolate
Really nice recipes. Every hour.
Show me what you cooked!


Make it Witchy:Peppermint - attract money, confidence in speechOrange - joy, warmth, strengthVegan - compassionAztec - defense, spiritual shield, strengthen auraPeanut Butter - protect children, comfortPumpkin Spice - romance, friendship, holiday spirit Nutella - happiness, comfortCaramel - relieve stress, beauty Lavender White - sleep, soothing, pleasant dreams Irish - luck, imagination, faith 
Turn three times clockwise as you repeat your desired result to activate ingredients.


🤗☕☕☕☕😍😍😍

witchylass: witchoncampus: foodffs: The Ultimate Guide For Spiced Hot Chocolate Really nice recipes. Every hour. Show me what you coo...

Aztec: Brave Aztec warriors getting ready to fight Spanish conquistadors in order to defend their homeland (1521, colorized)
Aztec: Brave Aztec warriors getting ready to fight Spanish conquistadors in order to defend their homeland (1521, colorized)

Brave Aztec warriors getting ready to fight Spanish conquistadors in order to defend their homeland (1521, colorized)

Aztec: The Aztecs once fed 200,000 people in inarable swampy land by creating floating gardens that they farmed extensively. Ultrafacts.tumblr.com guayyaba: wildland-hymns: ultrafacts: How on earth would you feed a city of over 200,000 people when the land around you was a swampy lake? Seems like an impossible task, but the Aztec managed it by creating floating gardens known as chinampas, then they farmed them intensively. These ingenious creations were built up from the lake bed by piling layers of mud, decaying vegetation and reeds. This was a great way of recycling waste from the capital city Tenochtitlan. Each garden was framed and held together by wooden poles bound by reeds and then anchored to the lake floor with finely pruned willow trees. The Aztecs also dredged mud from the base of the canals which both kept the waterways clear and rejuvenate the nutrient levels in the gardens. A variety of crops were grown, most commonly maize or corn, beans, chillies, squash, tomatoes, edible greens such as quelite and amaranth. Colourful flowers were also grown, essential produce for religious festivals and ceremonies. Each plot was systematically planned, the effective use of seedbeds allowed continuous planting and harvesting of crops. Between each garden was a canal which enabled canoe transport. Fish and birds populated the water and were an additional source of food. [x] (Fact Source) For more facts, follow Ultrafacts This is literally so cool. Not only does it contribute to spacial efficiency, but the canals would easily keep pests, weeds, and possibly even diseases out of the respective plots. Companion planting and bio-intensive planting would be so much easier. Water-wise systems would be inherently present. Plus it looks so super neat aesthetically. I am just all about this. Indigenous civilizations invented sustainable development way before there was a term for it.
Aztec: The Aztecs once fed 200,000 people in
 inarable swampy land by creating floating
 gardens that they farmed extensively.
 Ultrafacts.tumblr.com
guayyaba:
wildland-hymns:

ultrafacts:

How on earth would you feed a city of over 200,000 people when the land around you was a swampy lake? Seems like an impossible task, but the Aztec managed it by creating floating gardens known as chinampas, then they farmed them intensively.
These ingenious creations were built up from the lake bed by piling layers of mud, decaying vegetation and reeds. This was a great way of recycling waste from the capital city Tenochtitlan. Each garden was framed and held together by wooden poles bound by reeds and then anchored to the lake floor with finely pruned willow trees. The Aztecs also dredged mud from the base of the canals which both kept the waterways clear and rejuvenate the nutrient levels in the gardens.
A variety of crops were grown, most commonly maize or corn, beans, chillies, squash, tomatoes, edible greens such as quelite and amaranth. Colourful flowers were also grown, essential produce for religious festivals and ceremonies. Each plot was systematically planned, the effective use of seedbeds allowed continuous planting and harvesting of crops.
Between each garden was a canal which enabled canoe transport. Fish and birds populated the water and were an additional source of food. [x]
(Fact Source) For more facts, follow Ultrafacts 

This is literally so cool. Not only does it contribute to spacial efficiency, but the canals would easily keep pests, weeds, and possibly even diseases out of the respective plots. Companion planting and bio-intensive planting would be so much easier. Water-wise systems would be inherently present. Plus it looks so super neat aesthetically. I am just all about this.


Indigenous civilizations invented sustainable development way before there was a term for it.

guayyaba: wildland-hymns: ultrafacts: How on earth would you feed a city of over 200,000 people when the land around you was a swampy l...

Aztec: thebuttkingpost Greek mythology: aren't the god great they only sexually harassed my wife and turned one of my children into a stag beetle this week Norse mythology: dînghïr cene nüt got his name when he killed a lizard the size of every mountain in the world without Odin's permission so Odin thought it would be funny to punish him by making him fart so hard one of his nuts flew off wait-whereami Chinese mythology: This guy just shot down 9 of the 10 suns scorching the planet but he's mean now so his wife and her rabbit overdosed on immortality pills and floated into the moon so he won't be a tvrant forever and we made cake in her honor dominawritesthings Yoruba mythology: a project team of gods was sent to earth on THE most massive project ever and the men decided to exclude the lone woman on the team because har har girls suck, and she responded by taking ALL OF THE WATER ON EARTH and watched the men take L's until the team lead made them take her back This same goddess is the one a group of male human villagers had to appeal to when the women of their village got so pissed off at their fuckery, they literally left and set up shop somewhere else and had zero plans of coming back notavodkashot Aztec mythology: Tezcatlipoca is at it again. Which Tezcatlipoca? Does it even matter at this point? Also, Quetzalcoatl had a bright idea again. It ended up in disaster Again taraljc rish mvthology: local queen kicks husband out of bed for trying to prove he brought more to the marriage. this results in supremely vicious and bloody war over a cow that ravaged Ulster and Connacht nonasuch the talmud: these rabbis are basically LotR wizards as scripted by Mel Brooks. one time Rabbi Eliezer got so mad about an argument over how to make an over kosher that he destroyed 1/3 of the world's crops. it would have been all of them but when they sent someone to tell him he was excommunicated for the oven fight he broke the news gently also he tried to murder Rabbi Hillel with a tidal wave but Hillel rebuked the wave so that was done. runawaymarbles Sumerian mythology: The water god cheated on his wife with his great great granddaughter so now all his limbs are pregnant Source: thebuttking... #greek mythology #mythology #chinese mythology Mythology in 5 seconds
Aztec: thebuttkingpost
 Greek mythology: aren't the god great they only sexually
 harassed my wife and turned one of my children into a stag
 beetle this week
 Norse mythology: dînghïr cene nüt got his name when he
 killed a lizard the size of every mountain in the world without
 Odin's permission so Odin thought it would be funny to punish
 him by making him fart so hard one of his nuts flew off
 wait-whereami
 Chinese mythology: This guy just shot down 9 of the 10 suns
 scorching the planet but he's mean now so his wife and her
 rabbit overdosed on immortality pills and floated into the
 moon so he won't be a tvrant forever and we made cake in
 her honor
 dominawritesthings
 Yoruba mythology: a project team of gods was sent to earth
 on THE most massive project ever and the men decided to
 exclude the lone woman on the team because har har girls
 suck, and she responded by taking ALL OF THE WATER ON
 EARTH and watched the men take L's until the team lead
 made them take her back
 This same goddess is the one a group of male human
 villagers had to appeal to when the women of their village got
 so pissed off at their fuckery, they literally left and set up shop
 somewhere else and had zero plans of coming back
 notavodkashot
 Aztec mythology: Tezcatlipoca is at it again. Which
 Tezcatlipoca? Does it even matter at this point? Also,
 Quetzalcoatl had a bright idea again. It ended up in disaster
 Again
 taraljc
 rish mvthology: local queen kicks husband out of bed for
 trying to prove he brought more to the marriage. this results in
 supremely vicious and bloody war over a cow that ravaged
 Ulster and Connacht
 nonasuch
 the talmud: these rabbis are basically LotR wizards as
 scripted by Mel Brooks. one time Rabbi Eliezer got so mad
 about an argument over how to make an over kosher that he
 destroyed 1/3 of the world's crops. it would have been all of
 them but when they sent someone to tell him he was
 excommunicated for the oven fight he broke the news gently
 also he tried to murder Rabbi Hillel with a tidal wave but Hillel
 rebuked the wave so that was done.
 runawaymarbles
 Sumerian mythology: The water god cheated on his wife with
 his great great granddaughter so now all his limbs are
 pregnant
 Source: thebuttking...
 #greek mythology #mythology #chinese mythology
Mythology in 5 seconds

Mythology in 5 seconds