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Asian, Ass, and Baseball: My tow truck driver and his lil buddy. Pic: reddit u/Slowhand09 @DrSmashlove Aight. Two real quick follow-ups on my post about girls and sports (from Sunday.) First, I take back the comment about hairy armpits on women. Ladies - if u love yo natural body - I love it too. Or if u identify as a gender that doesn’t match your biological sex (thank u to my lil homegirl for explaining this to me), I love u too. If u EVER come to this page and feel “othered” or ostracized, tell me! It’s never my intent. Sometimes my lack of intellect and understanding translates the love in my heart into words that can be hurtful, and I ALWAYS expect y’all to teach me and educate me so I can be a better man out here. Second, I implied that the prototypic female sports fan has a blond pony tail sticking out the back of her baseball cap. My extremely wise sister from another mister @tamashar quickly pointed out that she’s a football fan and does not, in fact, have a blond pony tail. It is axiomatic that it’s sisters out here that love sports. The thing is, when I write, I imagine a story in my head, and I type it out and give it to y’all. So I imagined a loud ass blond girl at a Wrigleyville bar in a faded cubs cap wearing her ex boyfriend’s oversized J Crew hoodie (that she kept because FVCK HIM 🤗) barking loudly and drunkenly about her favorite (and least favorite) cubs players: “OMG GET RID OF PEDRO STROP ALREADY HE’S SUCH A - *WHY* DOES MADDON PUT HIM IN - HE SUCKS - CAN I GET A STELLA OR WHAT I NEED A DRINKY - Oh shit Kelly - kyle texted me - gotta go lol cover my beer baby byeeeee” <— if u got a girl like this in yo squad, tag her 🤗. Anyway I never meant to exclude my sisters, my Latinas, my Asian home girls, etc - they all got ladies that will school u - smash is never exclusionary only inclusionary. That’s all I got. Now don’t comment “SMASH STOP APOLOGIZING” - I don’t do it to be politically correct! (scroll back and tell me if I’ve EVER been politically correct 😂) - I make these statement to show GROWTH and I hope I never stop growing! I’ve always been a grower 🍌 bless up 😍😂😂😂
Asian, Ass, and Baseball: My tow truck driver and his lil buddy.
 Pic: reddit u/Slowhand09
 @DrSmashlove
Aight. Two real quick follow-ups on my post about girls and sports (from Sunday.) First, I take back the comment about hairy armpits on women. Ladies - if u love yo natural body - I love it too. Or if u identify as a gender that doesn’t match your biological sex (thank u to my lil homegirl for explaining this to me), I love u too. If u EVER come to this page and feel “othered” or ostracized, tell me! It’s never my intent. Sometimes my lack of intellect and understanding translates the love in my heart into words that can be hurtful, and I ALWAYS expect y’all to teach me and educate me so I can be a better man out here. Second, I implied that the prototypic female sports fan has a blond pony tail sticking out the back of her baseball cap. My extremely wise sister from another mister @tamashar quickly pointed out that she’s a football fan and does not, in fact, have a blond pony tail. It is axiomatic that it’s sisters out here that love sports. The thing is, when I write, I imagine a story in my head, and I type it out and give it to y’all. So I imagined a loud ass blond girl at a Wrigleyville bar in a faded cubs cap wearing her ex boyfriend’s oversized J Crew hoodie (that she kept because FVCK HIM 🤗) barking loudly and drunkenly about her favorite (and least favorite) cubs players: “OMG GET RID OF PEDRO STROP ALREADY HE’S SUCH A - *WHY* DOES MADDON PUT HIM IN - HE SUCKS - CAN I GET A STELLA OR WHAT I NEED A DRINKY - Oh shit Kelly - kyle texted me - gotta go lol cover my beer baby byeeeee” <— if u got a girl like this in yo squad, tag her 🤗. Anyway I never meant to exclude my sisters, my Latinas, my Asian home girls, etc - they all got ladies that will school u - smash is never exclusionary only inclusionary. That’s all I got. Now don’t comment “SMASH STOP APOLOGIZING” - I don’t do it to be politically correct! (scroll back and tell me if I’ve EVER been politically correct 😂) - I make these statement to show GROWTH and I hope I never stop growing! I’ve always been a grower 🍌 bless up 😍😂😂😂

Aight. Two real quick follow-ups on my post about girls and sports (from Sunday.) First, I take back the comment about hairy armpits on wome...

Anaconda, Ass, and Baseball: u/Thigpenology 1d i.redd.it I met this local wet-nosed pup at the bar, his name is Smudge @DrSmashlove Playoff baseball is upon us. Now some of u ladies who grew up with brothers and-or a father (who was actually present 🤗) already know a thing or two about sports. Matter fact y’all know a LOT about sports, y’all be at the bars with your blond pony tail hanging out the back of your cubs snap back recalling stats like a cot damn baseball announcer lol. But some of y’all - like me (raised with sisters 🙋‍♂️😂) - don’t know shiiiiiiiiit. Zero. Nada. And that’s completely fine! Sports are gay! (No offense to sports fans or homosexuals - I’m just saying let’s call it what it is - if u a man who spend his days admiring men in tight pants then u a lil gay! Just a lil bit 👌😂). But anyway when it come to baseball it’s one way to easily cheat and participate in any baseball discussion. As soon as a discussion about an impending baseball game come up, say one thing. Just one. U ready? “Who’s pitching?” Bam. BAM. Wind that boy up and let his ass go. Watch his ass talk for 45 MINUTES about the pitchers on both sides. “Well for the Nats it’s Strasburg - dude is INCREDIBLE - fastballs over 100 mph” etc etc until you fall asleep face down in yo burger and fries u feel me? But u let him talk. That’s all it is - talking. I go out on dates and afterward the girl be like “we clicked - you’re amazing - talking to u felt so natural ☺️” and I’m thinking “yeah bish because I ain’t talk! You talked and I nodded! U talked enuf for both of us witchoe tawkin ass!” 😂 But real talk just say it with me: “who’s pitching?” And let him talk his sh!t. And watch him text his family the next day talmbout “OMG I MET A GIRL NAMED MEGAN AND SHE’S BEAUTIFUL AND SHE LOVES BASEBALL” and his sister Karen just like “finally! You ex Kelly hated baseball! That b!tch!” Now y’all getting married. U feel me? U choosing bridesmaids dresses and picking appetizers for the wedding off of “who’s pitching?” Warning: don’t say “who’s on the mound?” That’s a little too manly baby girl u don’t want him thinking yo armpits hairy lol. “who’s on the mound?” That’s like calling him “bro” ... like Bryson Tiller said: “Don’t.” Who’s pitching? Now go get married Megan bless up 😍😂😂😂
Anaconda, Ass, and Baseball: u/Thigpenology 1d i.redd.it
 I met this local wet-nosed pup at the bar, his
 name is Smudge
 @DrSmashlove
Playoff baseball is upon us. Now some of u ladies who grew up with brothers and-or a father (who was actually present 🤗) already know a thing or two about sports. Matter fact y’all know a LOT about sports, y’all be at the bars with your blond pony tail hanging out the back of your cubs snap back recalling stats like a cot damn baseball announcer lol. But some of y’all - like me (raised with sisters 🙋‍♂️😂) - don’t know shiiiiiiiiit. Zero. Nada. And that’s completely fine! Sports are gay! (No offense to sports fans or homosexuals - I’m just saying let’s call it what it is - if u a man who spend his days admiring men in tight pants then u a lil gay! Just a lil bit 👌😂). But anyway when it come to baseball it’s one way to easily cheat and participate in any baseball discussion. As soon as a discussion about an impending baseball game come up, say one thing. Just one. U ready? “Who’s pitching?” Bam. BAM. Wind that boy up and let his ass go. Watch his ass talk for 45 MINUTES about the pitchers on both sides. “Well for the Nats it’s Strasburg - dude is INCREDIBLE - fastballs over 100 mph” etc etc until you fall asleep face down in yo burger and fries u feel me? But u let him talk. That’s all it is - talking. I go out on dates and afterward the girl be like “we clicked - you’re amazing - talking to u felt so natural ☺️” and I’m thinking “yeah bish because I ain’t talk! You talked and I nodded! U talked enuf for both of us witchoe tawkin ass!” 😂 But real talk just say it with me: “who’s pitching?” And let him talk his sh!t. And watch him text his family the next day talmbout “OMG I MET A GIRL NAMED MEGAN AND SHE’S BEAUTIFUL AND SHE LOVES BASEBALL” and his sister Karen just like “finally! You ex Kelly hated baseball! That b!tch!” Now y’all getting married. U feel me? U choosing bridesmaids dresses and picking appetizers for the wedding off of “who’s pitching?” Warning: don’t say “who’s on the mound?” That’s a little too manly baby girl u don’t want him thinking yo armpits hairy lol. “who’s on the mound?” That’s like calling him “bro” ... like Bryson Tiller said: “Don’t.” Who’s pitching? Now go get married Megan bless up 😍😂😂😂

Playoff baseball is upon us. Now some of u ladies who grew up with brothers and-or a father (who was actually present 🤗) already know a thin...

Apple, Baseball, and Bless Up: u/MMorks 21h i.redd.it Yes, I sits comfortable like this Now u all know I love to use this platform to discuss serious issues. That don't make me popular but I'm not concerned with popularity. I'm concerned with creating dialogue. With that said I want to take this moment to discuss a serious issue we face as a human race, which is cancer. Cancer is a disease in which abnormal cells divide uncontrollably and destroy body tissue. It can develop in a woman breasts, in a man's prostate, anywhere. And, if not detected early and treated, it can kill u. Today I would like to focus on a specific form of cancer that is wreaking havoc on us while we sit and watch and I see NOBODY doing anything about it. And that cancer is the song Despacito. Bruv. Is u kidding me? First I heard this song as a suggested hit on Apple Music. Not gon lie I gave it a couple listens and may have een danced a little. Low key? That "besito besito" kissy kissy shit is festive. But bruv. Bieber remixed this sh!t and now it's on all the radio stations. Went to my Kurdish homie crib over the weekend and the DJ played the Arabic version - THIS MF SAID "baseeta baseeta" ("easy easy"). People lost they damn mind. Had to go hide in the bathroom with ear buds in playing A Boogie just to cleanse my palette 😖. Watched my homie's snap he's in Iceland right now and one of our bro's was playing the ukelele for a bunch of Icelandics in the forest and HE SANG DESPACITO AND THE ICELANDICS WERE SINGING ALONG. THE VIKINGS AINT DIE ON LARGE SAILBOATS OF MALNUTRITION ON THE WAY TO DISCOVER MINNESOTA FOR THIS SHIT. With that said I beg u. If u have a playlist with Despacito, delete it. If u Jewish and u having a bar mitzvah for yo son Joshua, play anything. Play Taylor Swift. But I beg u please do not let the goofy black DJ in the sparkly True Religion baseball cap and tight black suit from Express with a Janet Jackson head set on spin Despacito. AND TO ALL MY ARABIANS. YALL ARE ON NOTICE. I OPPOSE THE MUSLIM TRAVEL PLAN BUT KEEP PLAYING ARABIAN DESPACITO AND I WILL START SUPPORTING IT ON THE BASIS THAT WE'RE KEEPING OUR COUNTRY SAFE AND I MEAN THAT SHIT. Only u can stop cancer. I beg y'all. Let's lock arms and FIX THIS. BLESS UP 🤗😂😂😂
Apple, Baseball, and Bless Up: u/MMorks 21h i.redd.it
 Yes, I sits comfortable like this
Now u all know I love to use this platform to discuss serious issues. That don't make me popular but I'm not concerned with popularity. I'm concerned with creating dialogue. With that said I want to take this moment to discuss a serious issue we face as a human race, which is cancer. Cancer is a disease in which abnormal cells divide uncontrollably and destroy body tissue. It can develop in a woman breasts, in a man's prostate, anywhere. And, if not detected early and treated, it can kill u. Today I would like to focus on a specific form of cancer that is wreaking havoc on us while we sit and watch and I see NOBODY doing anything about it. And that cancer is the song Despacito. Bruv. Is u kidding me? First I heard this song as a suggested hit on Apple Music. Not gon lie I gave it a couple listens and may have een danced a little. Low key? That "besito besito" kissy kissy shit is festive. But bruv. Bieber remixed this sh!t and now it's on all the radio stations. Went to my Kurdish homie crib over the weekend and the DJ played the Arabic version - THIS MF SAID "baseeta baseeta" ("easy easy"). People lost they damn mind. Had to go hide in the bathroom with ear buds in playing A Boogie just to cleanse my palette 😖. Watched my homie's snap he's in Iceland right now and one of our bro's was playing the ukelele for a bunch of Icelandics in the forest and HE SANG DESPACITO AND THE ICELANDICS WERE SINGING ALONG. THE VIKINGS AINT DIE ON LARGE SAILBOATS OF MALNUTRITION ON THE WAY TO DISCOVER MINNESOTA FOR THIS SHIT. With that said I beg u. If u have a playlist with Despacito, delete it. If u Jewish and u having a bar mitzvah for yo son Joshua, play anything. Play Taylor Swift. But I beg u please do not let the goofy black DJ in the sparkly True Religion baseball cap and tight black suit from Express with a Janet Jackson head set on spin Despacito. AND TO ALL MY ARABIANS. YALL ARE ON NOTICE. I OPPOSE THE MUSLIM TRAVEL PLAN BUT KEEP PLAYING ARABIAN DESPACITO AND I WILL START SUPPORTING IT ON THE BASIS THAT WE'RE KEEPING OUR COUNTRY SAFE AND I MEAN THAT SHIT. Only u can stop cancer. I beg y'all. Let's lock arms and FIX THIS. BLESS UP 🤗😂😂😂

Now u all know I love to use this platform to discuss serious issues. That don't make me popular but I'm not concerned with popularity. I'm ...