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College, Drunk, and Dude: IT-Mobile 10:12 AM 2 Is there anything more annoying than a Freshman psychology major, who have taken Intro and Motivational Psychology, and now thinks they have the human mind all figured out? There is! The most annoying college students are the ENGLISH MAJORS! These arrogant bastards think they are so smart and cultured because they read made up stories! They actually worship James Joyce (Ulysses - give me a break! I can write more coherently after being awake for eleven days on a methamphetamine and whiskey binge They believe that T.S. Eliot is the second coming of Jesus ("I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling acroSS floors of silent seas" - Shut the fuck up lobster man!). They refer to Chaucer as a prophet and believe Shakespeare to be a sage The male English major is the worst worm of any college student. They quote literature and poetry to women in order to have coitus, but even an 18 year girl can see through the frail veil of their pathetic masculinity. These bastards are such low ranking males, with arguably necrophiliac tendencies, that they must get girls passed out drunk in order to have sex with them. After all, no conscious woman would willingly be intimate with these fucks. The only true relief of their sexual frustration is through masturbating to Titus Andronicus! T he female English major is no better. These whores Will sleep with anyone who smokes some weed with them, gives them a couple shots of tequila, or uses vocabulary skills beyond a sixth grader (unless it is a male English major) They claim to be bisexual; however, once they stick their face into another girl's vagina they must instantly go regurgitate because of the odor. These women will actually moan with sexual delight when a professor is reading poetry a loud in class 3
College, Drunk, and Dude: IT-Mobile
 10:12 AM
 2
 Is there anything more annoying than a Freshman
 psychology major, who have taken Intro and Motivational
 Psychology, and now thinks they have the human mind all
 figured out?
 There is! The most annoying college students are the
 ENGLISH MAJORS! These arrogant bastards think they are
 so smart and cultured because they read made up stories!
 They actually worship James Joyce (Ulysses - give me a
 break! I can write more coherently after being awake for
 eleven days on a methamphetamine and whiskey binge
 They believe that T.S. Eliot is the second coming of Jesus ("I
 should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling acroSS
 floors of silent seas" - Shut the fuck up lobster man!). They
 refer to Chaucer as a prophet and believe Shakespeare to
 be a sage
 The male English major is the worst worm of any college
 student. They quote literature and poetry to women in order
 to have coitus, but even an 18 year girl can see through the
 frail veil of their pathetic masculinity. These bastards are
 such low ranking males, with arguably necrophiliac
 tendencies, that they must get girls passed out drunk in
 order to have sex with them. After all, no conscious woman
 would willingly be intimate with these fucks. The only true
 relief of their sexual frustration is through masturbating to
 Titus Andronicus!
 T he female English major is no better. These whores Will
 sleep with anyone who smokes some weed with them, gives
 them a couple shots of tequila, or uses vocabulary skills
 beyond a sixth grader (unless it is a male English major)
 They claim to be bisexual; however, once they stick their
 face into another girl's vagina they must instantly go
 regurgitate because of the odor. These women will actually
 moan with sexual delight when a professor is reading poetry
 a loud in class
 3
Church, Guns, and Horses: iMessage Yesterday 8:13 PM If you rev your bike like that it just scares the bejesus out of my horses Don't fully appreciate it You cant read? When you rev your damn bike it startles the hell out of my horses Just kick like a bunch of bastards I don't have a bike Yes You do Who do you think this is Im Rathowen Rathowen Gentry I don't know anyone named that What do you think my name is Lajessica Torembé No that's not me I've never heard of them I live in Louisiana So do l You like scaring horses or something? I haven't seen a horse in years I don't know what you are talking about They're a mammal, four legged...big sons of guns...real colorful at times, like to eat hay You have the wrong number!! I don't know what else to tell you Lajessica Torembé is not me Ive only got 3 horses, itMs allowed by the parish It's not? No You have the wrong number LOL Well why didnt you say so!!! Sorry to bother ye did One of my neighbors just gets on his jimmy bike and opens it up like church on sunday BBBBBBBBBBBVROOOM startles the horses somethin fierce And I'm usually out there brushing them so nice when it happens Today my lead horse Fabiany kicked me right through the damn barn wall And I'm four bills n change so... If you ever want to ride one just let me know That would be cool where do you ride them Near the river Im too big to saddle em up myself But they sure would love a little friendship I can probably make that happen for you if it would make the horses happy. And I'm sorry about that person with the motorcycle! That's not cool Thank you
Church, Guns, and Horses: iMessage
 Yesterday 8:13 PM
 If you rev your bike like that it
 just scares the bejesus out of
 my horses
 Don't fully appreciate it
 You cant read?
 When you rev your damn bike it
 startles the hell out of my
 horses
 Just kick like a bunch of
 bastards
 I don't have a bike
 Yes
 You do
 Who do you think this is
 Im Rathowen
 Rathowen Gentry
 I don't know anyone named
 that
 What do you think my name is
 Lajessica Torembé
 No that's not me I've never
 heard of them I live in Louisiana
 So do l
 You like scaring horses or
 something?
 I haven't seen a horse in years I
 don't know what you are talking
 about
 They're a mammal, four
 legged...big sons of guns...real
 colorful at times, like to eat hay
 You have the wrong number!!
 I don't know what else to tell
 you
 Lajessica Torembé is not me
 Ive only got 3 horses, itMs
 allowed by the parish
 It's not?
 No
 You have the wrong number
 LOL
 Well why didnt you say so!!!
 Sorry to bother ye
 did
 One of my neighbors just gets
 on his jimmy bike and opens it
 up like church on sunday
 BBBBBBBBBBBVROOOM
 startles the horses somethin
 fierce
 And I'm usually out there
 brushing them so nice when it
 happens
 Today my lead horse Fabiany
 kicked me right through the
 damn barn wall
 And I'm four bills n change so...
 If you ever want to ride one just
 let me know
 That would be cool where do
 you ride them
 Near the river
 Im too big to saddle em up
 myself
 But they sure would love a little
 friendship
 I can probably make that
 happen for you if it would make
 the horses happy. And I'm sorry
 about that person with the
 motorcycle! That's not cool
 Thank you