Because I Can


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

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    Because I Can: heybubb:
why? because I can
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Because I Can: heybubb:
why? because I can
                
            

            
            
heybubb:
why? because I can

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Because I Can: srsfunny:

Because I canā€™t go to sleep without doing this at least once
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Because I Can: srsfunny:

Because I canā€™t go to sleep without doing this at least once
                
            

            
            
srsfunny:

Because I canā€™t go to sleep without doing this at least once

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Because I Can: Because I canā€™t go to sleep without doing this at least once
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Because I Can: Because I canā€™t go to sleep without doing this at least once
                
            

            
            
Because I canā€™t go to sleep without doing this at least once

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Because I Can: I need a seat, because I canā€™t stand you Christopher Columbus ass niggas šŸ˜¤ by MGLLN
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Because I Can: I need a seat, because I canā€™t stand you Christopher Columbus ass niggas šŸ˜¤ by MGLLN
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
I need a seat, because I canā€™t stand you Christopher Columbus ass niggas šŸ˜¤ by MGLLN
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Because I Can: I am so poor because I canā€™t buy a good watchā€¦..
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Because I Can: I am so poor because I canā€™t buy a good watchā€¦..
                
            

            
            
I am so poor because I canā€™t buy a good watchā€¦..

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Because I Can: Peanut butter
spaceorphan18:

sulkingheals:

downtroddendeity:

jacemp3:

monkeysaysficus:


audrey-hepbae:

catchymemes:

10 tricks you didnā€™t know you could do with your food.
By Blossom

The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. Thereā€™s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopherā€™s stone from tomato sauce next week.Ā 


I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA


leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days

Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, ā€œWHAT?!ā€ and ā€œNO!ā€ at the screen.
We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains arenā€™t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god?
I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up.
Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. Youā€™ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesnā€™t have to be a banana.
Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the
 milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which 
settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, 
leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours.
Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)ā€¦Misrepresentations: ā€¦for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar.
Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: Youā€¦ literally do not need the sparkling waterā€¦ you can just beat the eggs until theyā€™re fluffyā€¦


ā€œWarm water clears wax from fruits!ā€: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called ā€œwashing.ā€Misrepresentations: I donā€™t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily.
Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, butā€¦Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, ā€œdirtā€ is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.)
Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thingā€¦Misrepresentation: ā€¦which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, youā€™ll see numbers like ā€œ3 hours in the freezerā€ or ā€œ40 minutes in a salted ice bath.ā€
There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason.
Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didnā€™t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that theyā€™d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, theyā€™ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesnā€™t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isnā€™t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk.
Just use superglue.
ā€œReveal the genetic memory of the honeycombā€:
This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than itā€™s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesnā€™t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say:
ā€œHoney looks like a honeycombā€ isnā€™t even in the ballpark of whatā€™s generally meant by ā€œgenetic memory,ā€
whatā€™s generally meant by ā€œgenetic memoryā€ is also complete hooey, and
fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things.
But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlikeā€¦
Hot coals and peanut butter
This is the reason itā€™s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. Itā€™s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time Iā€™ve tried to put words around an explanation Iā€™m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing ā€œNoā€ to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I canā€™t even figure out where to start.
Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think theirā€¦ letā€™s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. ā€¦With a press thatā€™s designed to recreate the conditions of the earthā€™s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen.
You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this ā€œworksā€ because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesnā€™t, particularly. Itā€™s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions ā€œpressureā€ when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because weā€™ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure.
Chemically speaking, thereā€™s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And ā€œcarbon crystalā€ = ā€œdiamond,ā€ and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds theyā€™d be that expensive?
I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal.
But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, Iā€™m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and Iā€™ll be giving them more from writing this.
Maybe Iā€™ll stick to the chaos god theory. Itā€™s less depressing.
@ohnofixit


I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong.

Why you shouldnā€™t believe everything on the internet.Ā 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Because I Can: Peanut butter
spaceorphan18:

sulkingheals:

downtroddendeity:

jacemp3:

monkeysaysficus:


audrey-hepbae:

catchymemes:

10 tricks you didnā€™t know you could do with your food.
By Blossom

The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. Thereā€™s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopherā€™s stone from tomato sauce next week.Ā 


I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA


leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days

Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, ā€œWHAT?!ā€ and ā€œNO!ā€ at the screen.
We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains arenā€™t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god?
I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up.
Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. Youā€™ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesnā€™t have to be a banana.
Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the
 milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which 
settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, 
leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours.
Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)ā€¦Misrepresentations: ā€¦for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar.
Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: Youā€¦ literally do not need the sparkling waterā€¦ you can just beat the eggs until theyā€™re fluffyā€¦


ā€œWarm water clears wax from fruits!ā€: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called ā€œwashing.ā€Misrepresentations: I donā€™t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily.
Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, butā€¦Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, ā€œdirtā€ is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.)
Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thingā€¦Misrepresentation: ā€¦which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, youā€™ll see numbers like ā€œ3 hours in the freezerā€ or ā€œ40 minutes in a salted ice bath.ā€
There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason.
Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didnā€™t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that theyā€™d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, theyā€™ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesnā€™t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isnā€™t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk.
Just use superglue.
ā€œReveal the genetic memory of the honeycombā€:
This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than itā€™s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesnā€™t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say:
ā€œHoney looks like a honeycombā€ isnā€™t even in the ballpark of whatā€™s generally meant by ā€œgenetic memory,ā€
whatā€™s generally meant by ā€œgenetic memoryā€ is also complete hooey, and
fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things.
But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlikeā€¦
Hot coals and peanut butter
This is the reason itā€™s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. Itā€™s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time Iā€™ve tried to put words around an explanation Iā€™m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing ā€œNoā€ to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I canā€™t even figure out where to start.
Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think theirā€¦ letā€™s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. ā€¦With a press thatā€™s designed to recreate the conditions of the earthā€™s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen.
You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this ā€œworksā€ because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesnā€™t, particularly. Itā€™s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions ā€œpressureā€ when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because weā€™ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure.
Chemically speaking, thereā€™s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And ā€œcarbon crystalā€ = ā€œdiamond,ā€ and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds theyā€™d be that expensive?
I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal.
But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, Iā€™m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and Iā€™ll be giving them more from writing this.
Maybe Iā€™ll stick to the chaos god theory. Itā€™s less depressing.
@ohnofixit


I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong.

Why you shouldnā€™t believe everything on the internet.Ā 

                
                

                
            

            
            
spaceorphan18:

sulkingheals:

downtroddendeity:

jacemp3:

monkeysaysficus:


audrey-hepbae:

catchymemes:

10 tricks you didnā€™t know yo...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Because I Can: THIS CANDLE COMPANY HAS A
 SCENT THAT SMELLS LIKE YOUR
 STATE
 ERIN GALLAGHER November 13, 2016
 88k
 f Share
 Tweet
 SHARES
 ES TU
 DI
 homesick
 homesick
 SOUTH CAROLI
 SOUTH CAROLINA
heyheyitsjuju:
musicalhell:

spottytonguedog:

pinchtheprincess:

copperbadge:

memprime:

podcasts-8-my-heart:

talkingcinemalight:

peppylilspitfuck:

icykitty:

strawberry-jambouree:

cherrymilkshake:

milkydolenz:

fscottfitzgerld:

1977punk:
i was gonna make a joke about how the massachusetts candle probably smells like a drug deal in the dunkin donuts parking lot but then i checked and it legitimately smells like dunkin coffee iā€™m doneĀ 
and i was going to make a joke about how the illinois candle just smells like cornfields and wheat fields but then i too checked and it literally does

me: what does the maine one smell likeā€¦ snow? lighthouses?
website: fresh Maine blueberries,
me, looking down at my clothes stained beyond recognition from hours spent blueberry raking: *whispers* of courseā€¦ā€¦


Maryland smells like old bay and salt
This is accurate

The website isĀ https://homesickcandles.com

checked arizona just for shits and giggles and it smells like SAND goodnight

Washington is Cherries, coffee, and rain.  Accurate. 

You have no idea how pleased I was to see that there are two California candles. One for North and one for South. Oh and they seem to also have special ones for Los Angeles and San Francisco!


Thatā€™s about right for Indiana.


@copperbadge There is an Illinois candle AND a Chicago candle!

I appreciate that the Chicago candle smells like the chocolate factory that makes downtown smell like chocolate sometimes, but letā€™s be real, it should smell like pee and corruption.Ā 


Does Iowa smell like corn and soybeans, or hogs? Because I can tell you what Iā€™m NOT buying, if itā€™s the latter. 

And as always theyā€™ve forgotten thereā€™s a whole state north of NYC.Ā 

The Denver candle smells like fresh hemp, because of course it does.

ā€¦of course it does, I can smell it now

Ah Vermont smells like maple and trees what a fucking surprise
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Because I Can: THIS CANDLE COMPANY HAS A
 SCENT THAT SMELLS LIKE YOUR
 STATE
 ERIN GALLAGHER November 13, 2016
 88k
 f Share
 Tweet
 SHARES
 ES TU
 DI
 homesick
 homesick
 SOUTH CAROLI
 SOUTH CAROLINA
heyheyitsjuju:
musicalhell:

spottytonguedog:

pinchtheprincess:

copperbadge:

memprime:

podcasts-8-my-heart:

talkingcinemalight:

peppylilspitfuck:

icykitty:

strawberry-jambouree:

cherrymilkshake:

milkydolenz:

fscottfitzgerld:

1977punk:
i was gonna make a joke about how the massachusetts candle probably smells like a drug deal in the dunkin donuts parking lot but then i checked and it legitimately smells like dunkin coffee iā€™m doneĀ 
and i was going to make a joke about how the illinois candle just smells like cornfields and wheat fields but then i too checked and it literally does

me: what does the maine one smell likeā€¦ snow? lighthouses?
website: fresh Maine blueberries,
me, looking down at my clothes stained beyond recognition from hours spent blueberry raking: *whispers* of courseā€¦ā€¦


Maryland smells like old bay and salt
This is accurate

The website isĀ https://homesickcandles.com

checked arizona just for shits and giggles and it smells like SAND goodnight

Washington is Cherries, coffee, and rain.  Accurate. 

You have no idea how pleased I was to see that there are two California candles. One for North and one for South. Oh and they seem to also have special ones for Los Angeles and San Francisco!


Thatā€™s about right for Indiana.


@copperbadge There is an Illinois candle AND a Chicago candle!

I appreciate that the Chicago candle smells like the chocolate factory that makes downtown smell like chocolate sometimes, but letā€™s be real, it should smell like pee and corruption.Ā 


Does Iowa smell like corn and soybeans, or hogs? Because I can tell you what Iā€™m NOT buying, if itā€™s the latter. 

And as always theyā€™ve forgotten thereā€™s a whole state north of NYC.Ā 

The Denver candle smells like fresh hemp, because of course it does.

ā€¦of course it does, I can smell it now

Ah Vermont smells like maple and trees what a fucking surprise
                
            

            
            
heyheyitsjuju:
musicalhell:

spottytonguedog:

pinchtheprincess:

copperbadge:

memprime:

podcasts-8-my-heart:

talkingcinemalight:

pep...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Because I Can: alsoalice:Drawing some Renee because I can never resist colourful hair.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Because I Can: alsoalice:Drawing some Renee because I can never resist colourful hair.
                
            

            
            
alsoalice:Drawing some Renee because I can never resist colourful hair.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Because I Can: deadcatwithaflamethrower:

hebic:
kyraneko:

balencia:

kitrazzle:

pissedoffweasley:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirlonstage:

fuckyeahdeathlyhallows:

sirlestrange:

#that is a human as a rat as a cup

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

Can you imagine how differently their lives wouldā€™ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagallā€™s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasleyā€™s rat.Take a moment.

Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldnā€™t get ā€˜Scabbersā€™ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know thereā€™s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagallā€™s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagallā€™s wrath that will be with them until the day they die.
Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out.

What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud.
Professor Flitwickā€™s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands).
Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out.
Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when youā€™re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae theyā€™d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that.
And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordanā€™s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes.
Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom.
-
Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the familyā€™s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup.
Scabbers had not become a teacup.
Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail.
It was moving.
Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus werenā€™t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell himĀ exactly what heā€™d done wrong.
Which only made it worse that he really thought heā€™d done everything right this time.
He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. ā€œErreverto.ā€
ā€œErreverto. Erreverto.Ā Erreverto.ā€
It didnā€™t work. It didnā€™t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didnā€™t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ronā€™s lips formed the shape of a word that wouldā€™ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didnā€™t work either.
Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, heā€™d gone up to Professor McGonagallā€™s desk.
ā€œUm, Professor?ā€
Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. ā€œProblems, Mr. Weasley?ā€
ā€œUm, yeah, Professor. I canā€™t get it to work in either direction and itā€™s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I canā€™t do a spell right and can you maybe ā€¦Ā ?ā€
ā€œI suppose so, Mr. Weasley,ā€ she said, and waved her wand in theĀ exact manner Ron had been doing all along.
Nothing happened.
Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled.
ā€œNow thatā€™s odd,ā€ she said softly.
As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer.
She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, ā€œArcanumĀ finite!ā€
And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall andĀ screamed.
-
Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didnā€™t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasnā€™t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils.
Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and heā€™d been dead for more than a decade.
Inferius!Ā was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter byĀ Animagus,Ā which collided withĀ Peter Pettigrew!Ā and produced the utterly horrifying thought ofĀ what if all four of them were Animagi? which didnā€™t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped toĀ if he wasnā€™t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didnā€™t he say so?Ā and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesnā€™t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back.
The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black andĀ if Black didnā€™t betray the Potters then who ā€¦ did.Ā And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasleyā€™s wand.
-
Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things heā€™d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall ā€¦ he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed.
He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process.
From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwickā€™s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students.
-
Ron looked stunned as the man whoā€™d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagalā€™s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasnā€™t from the naked man with the wand.
ā€œLaedo!ā€œ Minerva McGonagall roared.
-
Ron Weasleyā€™s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful ownerā€™s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit.
-
Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroomā€™s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the ā€œExitium!ā€ which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castleā€™s stone wall.
Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back.
Snape tripped over Georgeā€™s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap.
And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, ā€œPerdo.ā€
In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, ā€œThe Splinching Charm, Minerva?ā€
She mightā€™ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away.
ā€œUnorthodox,ā€ she said, ā€œbut useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministryā€”-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competentā€”-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, Iā€™m very sorry, but I do believe itā€™s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the dayā€™s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.ā€
-
The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ronā€™s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort whoā€™d been hiding as a rat all this time.
Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references.
Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Pottersā€™ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (ā€œGodfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!ā€ ā€œFramed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!ā€ ā€œHeart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!ā€) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, ā€œbut just for a year, Iā€™ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.ā€ (ā€œTheĀ Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called ā€œcurseā€ on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.ā€)
And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class.
A personal record.

Iā€™ve probably reblogged this before but Iā€™m going to do it again right now

I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced

Iā€™ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person.

Beautiful, simply beautiful!

Reblogging my own post because a) itā€™s my damn horn and Iā€™ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is.


@deadcatwithaflamethrower 
My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldnā€™t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic*

*reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Because I Can: deadcatwithaflamethrower:

hebic:
kyraneko:

balencia:

kitrazzle:

pissedoffweasley:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirlonstage:

fuckyeahdeathlyhallows:

sirlestrange:

#that is a human as a rat as a cup

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

Can you imagine how differently their lives wouldā€™ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagallā€™s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasleyā€™s rat.Take a moment.

Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldnā€™t get ā€˜Scabbersā€™ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know thereā€™s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagallā€™s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagallā€™s wrath that will be with them until the day they die.
Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out.

What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud.
Professor Flitwickā€™s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands).
Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out.
Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when youā€™re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae theyā€™d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that.
And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordanā€™s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes.
Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom.
-
Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the familyā€™s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup.
Scabbers had not become a teacup.
Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail.
It was moving.
Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus werenā€™t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell himĀ exactly what heā€™d done wrong.
Which only made it worse that he really thought heā€™d done everything right this time.
He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. ā€œErreverto.ā€
ā€œErreverto. Erreverto.Ā Erreverto.ā€
It didnā€™t work. It didnā€™t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didnā€™t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ronā€™s lips formed the shape of a word that wouldā€™ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didnā€™t work either.
Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, heā€™d gone up to Professor McGonagallā€™s desk.
ā€œUm, Professor?ā€
Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. ā€œProblems, Mr. Weasley?ā€
ā€œUm, yeah, Professor. I canā€™t get it to work in either direction and itā€™s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I canā€™t do a spell right and can you maybe ā€¦Ā ?ā€
ā€œI suppose so, Mr. Weasley,ā€ she said, and waved her wand in theĀ exact manner Ron had been doing all along.
Nothing happened.
Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled.
ā€œNow thatā€™s odd,ā€ she said softly.
As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer.
She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, ā€œArcanumĀ finite!ā€
And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall andĀ screamed.
-
Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didnā€™t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasnā€™t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils.
Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and heā€™d been dead for more than a decade.
Inferius!Ā was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter byĀ Animagus,Ā which collided withĀ Peter Pettigrew!Ā and produced the utterly horrifying thought ofĀ what if all four of them were Animagi? which didnā€™t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped toĀ if he wasnā€™t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didnā€™t he say so?Ā and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesnā€™t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back.
The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black andĀ if Black didnā€™t betray the Potters then who ā€¦ did.Ā And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasleyā€™s wand.
-
Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things heā€™d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall ā€¦ he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed.
He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process.
From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwickā€™s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students.
-
Ron looked stunned as the man whoā€™d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagalā€™s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasnā€™t from the naked man with the wand.
ā€œLaedo!ā€œ Minerva McGonagall roared.
-
Ron Weasleyā€™s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful ownerā€™s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit.
-
Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroomā€™s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the ā€œExitium!ā€ which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castleā€™s stone wall.
Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back.
Snape tripped over Georgeā€™s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap.
And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, ā€œPerdo.ā€
In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, ā€œThe Splinching Charm, Minerva?ā€
She mightā€™ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away.
ā€œUnorthodox,ā€ she said, ā€œbut useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministryā€”-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competentā€”-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, Iā€™m very sorry, but I do believe itā€™s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the dayā€™s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.ā€
-
The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ronā€™s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort whoā€™d been hiding as a rat all this time.
Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references.
Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Pottersā€™ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (ā€œGodfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!ā€ ā€œFramed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!ā€ ā€œHeart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!ā€) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, ā€œbut just for a year, Iā€™ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.ā€ (ā€œTheĀ Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called ā€œcurseā€ on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.ā€)
And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class.
A personal record.

Iā€™ve probably reblogged this before but Iā€™m going to do it again right now

I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced

Iā€™ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person.

Beautiful, simply beautiful!

Reblogging my own post because a) itā€™s my damn horn and Iā€™ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is.


@deadcatwithaflamethrower 
My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldnā€™t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic*

*reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*
                
                

                
            

            
            
deadcatwithaflamethrower:

hebic:
kyraneko:

balencia:

kitrazzle:

pissedoffweasley:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirl...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Because I Can: eunnui:

Even on holiday im pruaus scribblin ~

Quick scribble because I canā€™t sleep
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Because I Can: eunnui:

Even on holiday im pruaus scribblin ~

Quick scribble because I canā€™t sleep
                
            

            
            
eunnui:

Even on holiday im pruaus scribblin ~

Quick scribble because I canā€™t sleep

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Because I Can: SAMSUNg

 SAMSUNG
petalssoft:


I need to get out of hereI have never made any type of post like this and itā€™s going to be long and annoying but I just canā€™t fucking take this anymore. Iā€™m Sophie, I am a 19 year old latina girl who has been living with an abusive man double my age for the last couple of years after running away. I feel trapped here and I have no means to leave safely at all. Iā€™m mentally ill and on disability which doesnā€™t leave me with any room to get away from him and he is extremely controlling even when it comes to money and what I should have to owe him for living with him. I have no family to lean on and the friends I did have, he has cut me off completely from them. Heā€™s smashed my phone when he got paranoid leaving me with nothing and no one. He monitored my phone and my social media so I have had to make separate accounts to try and hide him from seeing what I post. Not only that but he is racist, he hates women, believes in white supremacy, thinks that all girls should only be with men and give themselves to men whether they want to or not.. it just goes on and on and never stops. He always talks about genocide, thinks women ask for too much, ect. He has actually gone to jail in the past for assault. He threatens me with violence if I donā€™t do the things he asks for all the time and my mental health has gone downhill since I came here. There are so many things that have happened that I canā€™t even talk about.I am always being taken advantage of, threatened, manipulated into sex, into giving him money, just so that I wonā€™t be out on the streets with no where to go. This type of life is making me want to kill myself if I canā€™t get a change soon but I am terrified of the thought of leaving him. I want to get a restraining order so that he canā€™t come after me, but if I do that I will have no place to live because I canā€™t afford the apartment I live in if heā€™s not here. I need help getting out. There is no way I can afford to pay a deposit, pet fee, and first months rent on a cheaper apartment with the income and type of life I have right now. He knows about how much money I bring in a month, and with my bills and everything I have very little. I know what I need is a lot, my goal is around $500 dollars even though that wonā€™t begin to cover it, I donā€™t expect much help at all. Even a couple dollars I have that I can hide from him will hopefully add up.I was at risk of being homeless when I met him because of leaving my family. I thought that because he had issues too that he was a good person at heart but I canā€™t take the way that he treats me anymore, it has only gotten worse. If you donā€™t believe me, or think I shouldnā€™t be asking for this kind of help or think this is all my fault just block me. I have had too many people act like I am over exaggerating or that Iā€™m crazy. I will just block you. my paypal email is sophimazziotti@gmail.com if you can help at all and if you cant i understand I know everyone is struggling and other people need more help than I do but I would be so thankful if you would please please reblog this post for me. Thank you.


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Because I Can: SAMSUNg

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petalssoft:


I need to get out of hereI have never made any type of post like this and itā€™s going to be long and annoying but I just canā€™t fucking take this anymore. Iā€™m Sophie, I am a 19 year old latina girl who has been living with an abusive man double my age for the last couple of years after running away. I feel trapped here and I have no means to leave safely at all. Iā€™m mentally ill and on disability which doesnā€™t leave me with any room to get away from him and he is extremely controlling even when it comes to money and what I should have to owe him for living with him. I have no family to lean on and the friends I did have, he has cut me off completely from them. Heā€™s smashed my phone when he got paranoid leaving me with nothing and no one. He monitored my phone and my social media so I have had to make separate accounts to try and hide him from seeing what I post. Not only that but he is racist, he hates women, believes in white supremacy, thinks that all girls should only be with men and give themselves to men whether they want to or not.. it just goes on and on and never stops. He always talks about genocide, thinks women ask for too much, ect. He has actually gone to jail in the past for assault. He threatens me with violence if I donā€™t do the things he asks for all the time and my mental health has gone downhill since I came here. There are so many things that have happened that I canā€™t even talk about.I am always being taken advantage of, threatened, manipulated into sex, into giving him money, just so that I wonā€™t be out on the streets with no where to go. This type of life is making me want to kill myself if I canā€™t get a change soon but I am terrified of the thought of leaving him. I want to get a restraining order so that he canā€™t come after me, but if I do that I will have no place to live because I canā€™t afford the apartment I live in if heā€™s not here. I need help getting out. There is no way I can afford to pay a deposit, pet fee, and first months rent on a cheaper apartment with the income and type of life I have right now. He knows about how much money I bring in a month, and with my bills and everything I have very little. I know what I need is a lot, my goal is around $500 dollars even though that wonā€™t begin to cover it, I donā€™t expect much help at all. Even a couple dollars I have that I can hide from him will hopefully add up.I was at risk of being homeless when I met him because of leaving my family. I thought that because he had issues too that he was a good person at heart but I canā€™t take the way that he treats me anymore, it has only gotten worse. If you donā€™t believe me, or think I shouldnā€™t be asking for this kind of help or think this is all my fault just block me. I have had too many people act like I am over exaggerating or that Iā€™m crazy. I will just block you. my paypal email is sophimazziotti@gmail.com if you can help at all and if you cant i understand I know everyone is struggling and other people need more help than I do but I would be so thankful if you would please please reblog this post for me. Thank you.


                
            

            
            
petalssoft:


I need to get out of hereI have never made any type of post like this and itā€™s going to be long and annoying but I just can...