πŸ”₯ | Latest

Af, Blessed, and Emoji: The best surprise passenger you can have next to you on a flight @DrSmashlove Now see bruv this used to be my favorite emoji: πŸ€—. He go by many names. Some call him Johnny Jazz Hands. I happen to call him Lil Smashington the IV, Chief Cheek Inspector, Sargeant Spreader the Nani Deader. U feel me? That’s what he doing. Opening them cheeks and delightedly admiring and inhaling the contents πŸ€—. But Lil Smashington has competition, bruv. Major competition. Because his Uncle Jameson Worthington VI of South Cambridgeshire bruv? Or Lil James Worthy aka the Monocle Maestro aka Scotland Yard’s Inspector of the Interior bruv? He ain’t just opening and peeking, bruv. Unc is inspecting every fold 🧐. Every skretch mark 🧐. Every lil cellulite dot 🧐. If he so much as spots an in-grown hair he gon annotate it in his Most Profitable and Efficient Bird Watching Journal; A Chronicle of Uncle Worthy’s Travels and Conquests, in which he records birds he sees in the wild such as cardinals and robin red breasts as well as birds he encounters in the bedroom 🧐. Lil Smashington basic AF bruv he get in the cheeks and he like β€œyum, sweet as sugar cane 😍.” Nah. Hells nah. Unc gon take a single taste and then fetch his notebook and quill pen and record the flavor notes for posterity: β€œSeventh of December, Two Thousand and Seventeen years after the birth of The Blessed Son of Mary. Name: Stephanie Smith. Age: approximately two score and three. Height: roughly one and one half oak barrels. Slender with supple bosom, posterior, ample hips, delightful countenance. Hair of auburn. Flavor notes: molasses; sugarplum; purΓ©e of mango; heavy whipping cream.” U feel me bruv? And Stephanie just gon sit patiently while Unc engages in his scientific field research, replaces his notebook in satchel and his quill pen in his ink well so he can go ham and bananington on the Nani πŸ—. Ladies and Gentlemen I have a patron saint. A spirit animal. Me, in emoji form. A true enjoyer of the female form in all its delightful complexity. Monocle Emoji, in a difficult year of pain and suffering in many pockets of the world, u bring hope and inspiration to the masses 🧐. Unc...U da real MVP πŸ§πŸ§πŸ§πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Af, Blessed, and Emoji: The best surprise passenger you can have
 next to you on a flight
 @DrSmashlove
Now see bruv this used to be my favorite emoji: πŸ€—. He go by many names. Some call him Johnny Jazz Hands. I happen to call him Lil Smashington the IV, Chief Cheek Inspector, Sargeant Spreader the Nani Deader. U feel me? That’s what he doing. Opening them cheeks and delightedly admiring and inhaling the contents πŸ€—. But Lil Smashington has competition, bruv. Major competition. Because his Uncle Jameson Worthington VI of South Cambridgeshire bruv? Or Lil James Worthy aka the Monocle Maestro aka Scotland Yard’s Inspector of the Interior bruv? He ain’t just opening and peeking, bruv. Unc is inspecting every fold 🧐. Every skretch mark 🧐. Every lil cellulite dot 🧐. If he so much as spots an in-grown hair he gon annotate it in his Most Profitable and Efficient Bird Watching Journal; A Chronicle of Uncle Worthy’s Travels and Conquests, in which he records birds he sees in the wild such as cardinals and robin red breasts as well as birds he encounters in the bedroom 🧐. Lil Smashington basic AF bruv he get in the cheeks and he like β€œyum, sweet as sugar cane 😍.” Nah. Hells nah. Unc gon take a single taste and then fetch his notebook and quill pen and record the flavor notes for posterity: β€œSeventh of December, Two Thousand and Seventeen years after the birth of The Blessed Son of Mary. Name: Stephanie Smith. Age: approximately two score and three. Height: roughly one and one half oak barrels. Slender with supple bosom, posterior, ample hips, delightful countenance. Hair of auburn. Flavor notes: molasses; sugarplum; purΓ©e of mango; heavy whipping cream.” U feel me bruv? And Stephanie just gon sit patiently while Unc engages in his scientific field research, replaces his notebook in satchel and his quill pen in his ink well so he can go ham and bananington on the Nani πŸ—. Ladies and Gentlemen I have a patron saint. A spirit animal. Me, in emoji form. A true enjoyer of the female form in all its delightful complexity. Monocle Emoji, in a difficult year of pain and suffering in many pockets of the world, u bring hope and inspiration to the masses 🧐. Unc...U da real MVP πŸ§πŸ§πŸ§πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Now see bruv this used to be my favorite emoji: πŸ€—. He go by many names. Some call him Johnny Jazz Hands. I happen to call him Lil Smashingto...

Advice, Baller Alert, and Bones: Baller Mail: Ladies, What Would You Do If Your Man Laughed At Your Attempt To Be Sexy? @balleralert Baller Mail: Ladies, What Would You Do If Your Man Laughed At Your Attempt To Be Sexy? -blogged by @peachkyss β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € If you’re going through a tough time-whether its with your relationship, your career, or just life, Baller Alert is here to give you some advice. While it can be hard to talk to family and friends out of fear of being judged, we are to here to be that listening ear. If you want to remain anonymous or don’t mind putting your business on front street, we will always give you the real deal and tell you what you need to know. If you would like some ballerific advice, email your questions to Peachkyss@balleralert.com. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Baller Mail....Message! β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β€œI need help. I decided to dress sexy for my husband to spice up the relationship. Rather than him appreciating the effort or complimenting me, he just laughed. Now, I feel embarrassed, hurt, and unappreciated. What should I do? Please Help!!!!” β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Well, girrrrlllll! We told you that here at Baller Alert that we are going to be honest without sugarcoating the obvious. As quiet as it's kept, he may be cheating. A husband shouldn’t be laughing in the first place of his wife's initiative to dressing sexy, whether it is for the bedroom or a night out. He should be jumping your bones. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € My initial response to the laughter would be to ask him what the f*ck is so damn funny and then curse his a$$ out. Take it as a sign that he doesn't appreciate you. The first thing that you need to do is work on yourself and become comfortable with who you are. It seems that you are not confident with your body because the laugh shouldn't have bothered you. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € If your spouse can't appreciate your efforts in spicing things up, then you need to express how you feel with confidence. Let him know how that sh*t affected you. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Remember, there is always someone out there that will appreciate every effort you put in. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € What advice would you give our reader?
Advice, Baller Alert, and Bones: Baller Mail: Ladies, What Would You Do
 If Your Man Laughed At Your Attempt To
 Be Sexy?
 @balleralert
Baller Mail: Ladies, What Would You Do If Your Man Laughed At Your Attempt To Be Sexy? -blogged by @peachkyss β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € If you’re going through a tough time-whether its with your relationship, your career, or just life, Baller Alert is here to give you some advice. While it can be hard to talk to family and friends out of fear of being judged, we are to here to be that listening ear. If you want to remain anonymous or don’t mind putting your business on front street, we will always give you the real deal and tell you what you need to know. If you would like some ballerific advice, email your questions to Peachkyss@balleralert.com. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Baller Mail....Message! β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β€œI need help. I decided to dress sexy for my husband to spice up the relationship. Rather than him appreciating the effort or complimenting me, he just laughed. Now, I feel embarrassed, hurt, and unappreciated. What should I do? Please Help!!!!” β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Well, girrrrlllll! We told you that here at Baller Alert that we are going to be honest without sugarcoating the obvious. As quiet as it's kept, he may be cheating. A husband shouldn’t be laughing in the first place of his wife's initiative to dressing sexy, whether it is for the bedroom or a night out. He should be jumping your bones. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € My initial response to the laughter would be to ask him what the f*ck is so damn funny and then curse his a$$ out. Take it as a sign that he doesn't appreciate you. The first thing that you need to do is work on yourself and become comfortable with who you are. It seems that you are not confident with your body because the laugh shouldn't have bothered you. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € If your spouse can't appreciate your efforts in spicing things up, then you need to express how you feel with confidence. Let him know how that sh*t affected you. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Remember, there is always someone out there that will appreciate every effort you put in. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € What advice would you give our reader?

Baller Mail: Ladies, What Would You Do If Your Man Laughed At Your Attempt To Be Sexy? -blogged by @peachkyss β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € If you’re goin...

Drugs, Head, and Jay: Cop Resigns After Being Charged For Burglarizing The Home Of Dying Man During Hurricane Irma @balleralert 105 Cop Resigns After Being Charged For Burglarizing The Home Of Dying Man During Hurricane Irma - blogged by @baetoven_ β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € According to a statement from the PalmBeach County Sheriff's Office, Deputy Jason Cook has resigned after being accused of allegedly entering the home of a dying man without permission and stealing his medication during HurricaneIrma. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Around 9:22 a.m. on Sept. 12, authorities were called to the home of 85-year-old Moe Rosoff, after his son requested a welfare check once he couldn't get in touch with his father. Rosoff was found on the floor of a master bedroom and told officers he fell and hit his head during a power outage from the storm. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Rosoff later died from his injuries. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Around 10:55 a.m. Rosoff's sons, Jay and Steven Rosoff, received an alert from the surveillance system that movement had been detected in the home, according to a police report. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € "They viewed the footage and saw a deputy enter the residence through the garage," the report read. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € According to the report, when police showed Cooke the video β€” which showed him allegedly rummaging through the house and putting items in his pockets β€” he told them he used the "garage code that was in the dispatch log" to gain access to the house. Police also added that Cooke was not told to report to the home. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € He allegedly told police that he'd picked up Tramadol, a pain reliever, in the kitchen. Police also found 60 pills, including other painkillers and antipsychotic medicine, after searching Cooke's vehicle. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Cooke was arrested on Oct. 19 and charged with unlawful possession of prescription drugs and burglary while armed during a state of emergency.
Drugs, Head, and Jay: Cop Resigns After Being Charged For
 Burglarizing The Home Of Dying Man
 During Hurricane Irma
 @balleralert
 105
Cop Resigns After Being Charged For Burglarizing The Home Of Dying Man During Hurricane Irma - blogged by @baetoven_ β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € According to a statement from the PalmBeach County Sheriff's Office, Deputy Jason Cook has resigned after being accused of allegedly entering the home of a dying man without permission and stealing his medication during HurricaneIrma. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Around 9:22 a.m. on Sept. 12, authorities were called to the home of 85-year-old Moe Rosoff, after his son requested a welfare check once he couldn't get in touch with his father. Rosoff was found on the floor of a master bedroom and told officers he fell and hit his head during a power outage from the storm. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Rosoff later died from his injuries. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Around 10:55 a.m. Rosoff's sons, Jay and Steven Rosoff, received an alert from the surveillance system that movement had been detected in the home, according to a police report. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € "They viewed the footage and saw a deputy enter the residence through the garage," the report read. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € According to the report, when police showed Cooke the video β€” which showed him allegedly rummaging through the house and putting items in his pockets β€” he told them he used the "garage code that was in the dispatch log" to gain access to the house. Police also added that Cooke was not told to report to the home. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € He allegedly told police that he'd picked up Tramadol, a pain reliever, in the kitchen. Police also found 60 pills, including other painkillers and antipsychotic medicine, after searching Cooke's vehicle. β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Cooke was arrested on Oct. 19 and charged with unlawful possession of prescription drugs and burglary while armed during a state of emergency.

Cop Resigns After Being Charged For Burglarizing The Home Of Dying Man During Hurricane Irma - blogged by @baetoven_ β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β € Accordi...

Ass, Chicago, and Christmas: Little kiss on the chick Pic: reddit u/anonimverse Ladies I love y'all lemme tell u why. I get into yo bedroom. We get to kissing. Right when I'm about to yank ya lil panties off what do u classy ladies say? "HOLD ON LEMME PEE 😁". Ain't no pee, bruv. She already peed. She bout to go freshen up the Nani bc that's what u classy girls do, y'all interrupt the foreplay to make sure ya joint smell, look and taste splendiferous before we sliiiiiide that tung deep inside. "Hold on lemme pee"? That little three or four minutes when u waiting for her bruv? Thass Christmas Eve. Anything could happen. NBA 2K18. Jordan 11s. Nerf Machine Gun. U feel me? She might come out of there bucky nekky. She might come out with lingerie on. Full body MF fishnet body suit (I'm really out here y'all I done seen it all 🌢). Shout to u ladies bruv. Heightening the tension. Creating intrigue. I swear y'all the real MVP. P.s. If u in a hotel with a girl and u see the little wet folded up face towel shoved under the sink that's the Nani freshener towel (FYI) every girl got that ImOnToYouLadies πŸ€—πŸ˜‚. P.p.s. Oh wait. Wait wait wait. Oh y'all thought I was done? Y'all thought I wasn't gon address them ladies that's gon go out to dinner ... drinks ... dancing for four hours ... after party ... and NOT stop me so she could freshen up the Nani before I go downtown James Brown? WELL GO HEAD ASF MAMI I FUX WITCHOE 12 HOUR MARINADE I'M FROM CHICAGO WE LOVE AGING THINGS 60 DAY AGED BONE-IN RIBEYE YES PLEASE THAT MUSKY, MUSHROOMY EARTHY PERFUMEY FRAGRANCE GET MY HEART RACING I AIN'T MAD AT YO NASTY ASS MAMA LEMME TASTE THE RAINBOW U BOUT TO BRING THE ANIMAL OUT REAL TALK FarmFreshDryAgedOrWetAged ItsAllWondrousToMe LemmeTasteIt AllOfIt BlessUp πŸ€—πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Ass, Chicago, and Christmas: Little kiss on the chick
 Pic: reddit u/anonimverse
Ladies I love y'all lemme tell u why. I get into yo bedroom. We get to kissing. Right when I'm about to yank ya lil panties off what do u classy ladies say? "HOLD ON LEMME PEE 😁". Ain't no pee, bruv. She already peed. She bout to go freshen up the Nani bc that's what u classy girls do, y'all interrupt the foreplay to make sure ya joint smell, look and taste splendiferous before we sliiiiiide that tung deep inside. "Hold on lemme pee"? That little three or four minutes when u waiting for her bruv? Thass Christmas Eve. Anything could happen. NBA 2K18. Jordan 11s. Nerf Machine Gun. U feel me? She might come out of there bucky nekky. She might come out with lingerie on. Full body MF fishnet body suit (I'm really out here y'all I done seen it all 🌢). Shout to u ladies bruv. Heightening the tension. Creating intrigue. I swear y'all the real MVP. P.s. If u in a hotel with a girl and u see the little wet folded up face towel shoved under the sink that's the Nani freshener towel (FYI) every girl got that ImOnToYouLadies πŸ€—πŸ˜‚. P.p.s. Oh wait. Wait wait wait. Oh y'all thought I was done? Y'all thought I wasn't gon address them ladies that's gon go out to dinner ... drinks ... dancing for four hours ... after party ... and NOT stop me so she could freshen up the Nani before I go downtown James Brown? WELL GO HEAD ASF MAMI I FUX WITCHOE 12 HOUR MARINADE I'M FROM CHICAGO WE LOVE AGING THINGS 60 DAY AGED BONE-IN RIBEYE YES PLEASE THAT MUSKY, MUSHROOMY EARTHY PERFUMEY FRAGRANCE GET MY HEART RACING I AIN'T MAD AT YO NASTY ASS MAMA LEMME TASTE THE RAINBOW U BOUT TO BRING THE ANIMAL OUT REAL TALK FarmFreshDryAgedOrWetAged ItsAllWondrousToMe LemmeTasteIt AllOfIt BlessUp πŸ€—πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Ladies I love y'all lemme tell u why. I get into yo bedroom. We get to kissing. Right when I'm about to yank ya lil panties off what do u cl...