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Bless Up, Guacamole, and Life: New pupper meets old soul. Pic: reddit u/Scotty367 @DrSmashlove On the path to being grown and sexy all women will go thru a cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter phase. I see u, baby girl. Grown. Mature. Sophisticated. Appetizer looking like a still life painting. Put out some red wine, bam. Now u a grown and sexy hostess. U hit some bumps on the way here but u here now. U made it. U serving an appetizer that looks aesthetically wondrous. However there is one, small problem. Just one. U ready? NOBODY WANT CRACKERS AND CHEESE BRUV, YUCK LMAO. Let me upgrade u. U wanna serve something everyone will rave about? U wanna serve something people will love with all they heart? U wanna be the Belle of the MF Ball? HUMMUS AND GUACAMOLE. Do not over complicate this. Do not get creative. Do not ruin a perfect thing. Hummus...and guac. In two separate bowls. In between? Them thin crispy salty tortilla chips and if u really canโ€™t fight the urge to be fancy, some veggies to dip. Thatโ€™s it. โ€œWow the Camembert in that cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter was absolutely delectableโ€ - no human being, ever. โ€œOMG I COULD BATHE IN GUAC. AND HUMMUS. LIKE LITERALLY BATHE ME IN A VAT OF GUAC AND HUMMUS AND RUB IT ON MY CHEST AND SHAMPOO MY HAIR WITH IT LOL DAMN ITโ€™S GONE.....OMG AMANDA BROUGHT OUT MORE SORRY BRB โ˜บ๏ธ.โ€ - everyone. Guac and hummus. U could be the worst cook ever - donโ€™t een matter - all the guests already gon be full off of guac. And hummus ๐Ÿค—. Aight? I just upgraded u. When u host the best holiday party ever next week and nobody can een explain why and they just speechless like โ€œAMANDA OMG THIS PARTY WAS AMAZING U R MARTHA STEWART LOLโ€ just do me one favor. Just one. Say โ€œsmashy taught meโ€ BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Bless Up, Guacamole, and Life: New pupper meets old soul.
 Pic: reddit u/Scotty367
 @DrSmashlove
On the path to being grown and sexy all women will go thru a cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter phase. I see u, baby girl. Grown. Mature. Sophisticated. Appetizer looking like a still life painting. Put out some red wine, bam. Now u a grown and sexy hostess. U hit some bumps on the way here but u here now. U made it. U serving an appetizer that looks aesthetically wondrous. However there is one, small problem. Just one. U ready? NOBODY WANT CRACKERS AND CHEESE BRUV, YUCK LMAO. Let me upgrade u. U wanna serve something everyone will rave about? U wanna serve something people will love with all they heart? U wanna be the Belle of the MF Ball? HUMMUS AND GUACAMOLE. Do not over complicate this. Do not get creative. Do not ruin a perfect thing. Hummus...and guac. In two separate bowls. In between? Them thin crispy salty tortilla chips and if u really canโ€™t fight the urge to be fancy, some veggies to dip. Thatโ€™s it. โ€œWow the Camembert in that cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter was absolutely delectableโ€ - no human being, ever. โ€œOMG I COULD BATHE IN GUAC. AND HUMMUS. LIKE LITERALLY BATHE ME IN A VAT OF GUAC AND HUMMUS AND RUB IT ON MY CHEST AND SHAMPOO MY HAIR WITH IT LOL DAMN ITโ€™S GONE.....OMG AMANDA BROUGHT OUT MORE SORRY BRB โ˜บ๏ธ.โ€ - everyone. Guac and hummus. U could be the worst cook ever - donโ€™t een matter - all the guests already gon be full off of guac. And hummus ๐Ÿค—. Aight? I just upgraded u. When u host the best holiday party ever next week and nobody can een explain why and they just speechless like โ€œAMANDA OMG THIS PARTY WAS AMAZING U R MARTHA STEWART LOLโ€ just do me one favor. Just one. Say โ€œsmashy taught meโ€ BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

On the path to being grown and sexy all women will go thru a cheese, cracker, grape and apricot platter phase. I see u, baby girl. Grown. Ma...

Ass, Booty, and Bruh: When she come over to apologize for spazzing on you but nows not a good time cause you cheating Fellas don't you hate when you abouT to give the best dick to the girl of your dreams and your girlfriend shows up? When your girl get you so mad you go out and cheat just to blow some steem off. Now before I go into this story let me give you the back story of what has transpired. I was ready to filet Ming Bong my girl pussy with the most elegant strokes of the tongue that even Shakespeare couldn't compare. I'm going down when I hear her stomach squealing. She probably hungry. if the head game A1 I might let her grab something that's not on the dollar menu. I'm bout to start going in when a fart slips out her booty cheeks and floats it's way up her pussy lips. Boy was bout to go hungry hippo but she hit me with a gas bomb. I was done after that I got PTSD from pussy eating. I got up and left her ass. We are not on talking terms. Few days later I'm bout to get some play from this one hoe I saw posting about her boyfriend on Facebook. Facebook the easiest way to see who needs local dick.My Door bell rings. My momma not suppose to be home for another few hours. I look through the window blinds and it's my girl. I hate when people come to the crib uninvited.i crack the door and began to act fake sick. *fake cough* "hey what's up?" "Baby I'm so sorry can I come in so we can talk?". "nah the way my stomach set up I'm not feeling so good".i try shutting the dirt she out her whole foot in the door. I said "let's talk about it and get food". My girl wasn't sorry she was hungry stay woke kings when dealing with these females. From the other room "Come take this ass". I was done bruh. Do people not have manners at other peoples house. It's too late to play dumb. My shorty goes in the room and sees the side piece. I've never seen two woman work together to take down a man. Feminism is a powerful thing. They pulled out more receipts than a tax return. I got my ass beat in my own crib. I'm single now.
Ass, Booty, and Bruh: When she come over to apologize
 for spazzing on you but nows not a
 good time cause you cheating
Fellas don't you hate when you abouT to give the best dick to the girl of your dreams and your girlfriend shows up? When your girl get you so mad you go out and cheat just to blow some steem off. Now before I go into this story let me give you the back story of what has transpired. I was ready to filet Ming Bong my girl pussy with the most elegant strokes of the tongue that even Shakespeare couldn't compare. I'm going down when I hear her stomach squealing. She probably hungry. if the head game A1 I might let her grab something that's not on the dollar menu. I'm bout to start going in when a fart slips out her booty cheeks and floats it's way up her pussy lips. Boy was bout to go hungry hippo but she hit me with a gas bomb. I was done after that I got PTSD from pussy eating. I got up and left her ass. We are not on talking terms. Few days later I'm bout to get some play from this one hoe I saw posting about her boyfriend on Facebook. Facebook the easiest way to see who needs local dick.My Door bell rings. My momma not suppose to be home for another few hours. I look through the window blinds and it's my girl. I hate when people come to the crib uninvited.i crack the door and began to act fake sick. *fake cough* "hey what's up?" "Baby I'm so sorry can I come in so we can talk?". "nah the way my stomach set up I'm not feeling so good".i try shutting the dirt she out her whole foot in the door. I said "let's talk about it and get food". My girl wasn't sorry she was hungry stay woke kings when dealing with these females. From the other room "Come take this ass". I was done bruh. Do people not have manners at other peoples house. It's too late to play dumb. My shorty goes in the room and sees the side piece. I've never seen two woman work together to take down a man. Feminism is a powerful thing. They pulled out more receipts than a tax return. I got my ass beat in my own crib. I'm single now.

Fellas don't you hate when you abouT to give the best dick to the girl of your dreams and your girlfriend shows up? When your girl get you s...