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Bad, Family, and Phone: 2 When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the snake I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical powered snake with a big motor on the back and a little grabby claw on the end So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the control to open the mechanical claw at the end of the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in reverse and starts to pull it back up By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and tigure out what the hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant machine couldn't remove. The motor is really straining you know that sound an electric motor makes when it's working really hard? The whole machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back up through the pipes and into the roonm Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's a shower curtain, The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure out how this could have happened. It would be weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be even weirder if the guest had brought their own shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains. Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that the shower curtain had already been replaced, and then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide the evidence? While they're discussing this, the room phone rings The person on the other end is screaming, hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to figure out that it's the housekeeper who was cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, the manage to get the story out of her: The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and then started flailing wildly around the next-door bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw opened on the end of it and snagged the shower curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it around the room until it was coiled tightly around the cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl The actual clog was never found 10980 Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that
Bad, Family, and Phone: 2
 When my grandfather was young he owned a
 roadside motel, and my mother used to do work
 around the motel for the family. The building was old
 and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber
 were a fairly regular occurrence over there
 At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest
 checked out, so they called the plumber to come
 and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag
 of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn
 After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the
 snake
 I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing
 snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This
 isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical
 powered snake with a big motor on the back and a
 little grabby claw on the end
 So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil
 down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring
 whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it
 down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't
 happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the
 control to open the mechanical claw at the end of
 the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in
 reverse and starts to pull it back up

 By now a couple of members of the staff have
 gathered in the room to try and tigure out what the
 hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant
 machine couldn't remove. The motor is really
 straining you know that sound an electric motor
 makes when it's working really hard? The whole
 machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back
 up through the pipes and into the roonm
 Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly
 dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's
 a shower curtain,
 The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure
 out how this could have happened. It would be
 weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower
 curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the
 shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be
 even weirder if the guest had brought their own
 shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down
 the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains.
 Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with
 it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that
 the shower curtain had already been replaced, and
 then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide
 the evidence?

 While they're discussing this, the room phone rings
 The person on the other end is screaming,
 hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to
 figure out that it's the housekeeper who was
 cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, the
 manage to get the story out of her:
 The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than
 spiraling down into the plumbing where it was
 intended to go, it had wound its way into the central
 line, and then back up the pipes in the room next
 door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and
 then started flailing wildly around the next-door
 bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of
 steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering
 furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless
 housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw
 opened on the end of it and snagged the shower
 curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it
 around the room until it was coiled tightly around the
 cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl
 The actual clog was never found
 10980
Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683) No.46363786 Anonymous 18 min. ago >be me >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie mom and son come up >absolute units, their hands were fucking round perfectly fucking round, like a baseball little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they came back from Walmart after getting a fish poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the fish food one of those families that has each family member go up to order for themselves hate these kinds of families mama blob starts ordering out of breath from standing in line >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest while ordering could have fucking swore i heard the counter rumble yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant* big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a large diet coke sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the table breathes in sharply struggles to take elbows off of table finally accomplishes the task finally accomplishes the task two huge wet marks take up the register section those are her fucking elbows her elbows actually fucking sweated little blob comes up to order "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries.. *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet Coke *pant* brings fish bowl out onto counter "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate *pant* milkshake >a fucking fishbowl sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill things that aren't McDonalds cups mama blob starts throwing a tantrum "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT TO HIM" maam, we cann >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER go get manager >he just repeats what I said tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to fill it if she wants "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!" "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!" >me and manager stare at each other did she really just say that mama blob sees us looking at each other cont. whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time just looking at us >mama blob hears something turns her body to look backward >a gentle greasy breeze hits me >sees a couple people snickering turns back around "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!" >me and manager stay silent tears start to well up in her eyes could have just been sweat though face turns redder grabs her son's hand "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!" >something deep down told me that wasn't true >pulls her son's hand waddles out hear her panting as she opens the door notice something >me and manager both notice it look at each other there was something brown in the middle of Hammy's ass could it be could it fucking be look at her legs brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg >she sharted >she actually fucking sharted and left a brown trail had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5 minutes janitor almost puked cleaning it up Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake
Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683)
 No.46363786
 Anonymous
 18 min. ago
 >be me
 >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie
 mom and son come up
 >absolute units, their hands were fucking round
 perfectly fucking round, like a baseball
 little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they
 came back from Walmart after getting a fish
 poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the
 fish food
 one of those families that has each family member
 go up to order for themselves
 hate these kinds of families
 mama blob starts ordering
 out of breath from standing in line
 >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest
 while ordering
 could have fucking swore i heard the counter
 rumble
 yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant*
 big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no
 three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a
 large diet coke
 sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the
 table
 breathes in sharply
 struggles to take elbows off of table
 finally accomplishes the task

 finally accomplishes the task
 two huge wet marks take up the register section
 those are her fucking elbows
 her elbows actually fucking sweated
 little blob comes up to order
 "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries..
 *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet
 Coke *pant*
 brings fish bowl out onto counter
 "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate
 *pant* milkshake
 >a
 fucking
 fishbowl
 sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill
 things that aren't McDonalds cups
 mama blob starts throwing a tantrum
 "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT
 TO HIM"
 maam, we cann
 >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER
 go get manager
 >he just repeats what I said
 tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to
 fill it if she wants
 "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!"
 "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!"
 >me and manager stare at each other
 did she really just say that
 mama blob sees us looking at each other
 cont.

 whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time
 just looking at us
 >mama blob hears something
 turns her body to look backward
 >a gentle greasy breeze hits me
 >sees a couple people snickering
 turns back around
 "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!"
 >me and manager stay silent
 tears start to well up in her eyes
 could have just been sweat though
 face turns redder
 grabs her son's hand
 "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!"
 >something deep down told me that wasn't true
 >pulls her son's hand
 waddles out
 hear her panting as she opens the door
 notice something
 >me and manager both notice it
 look at each other
 there was something brown in the middle of
 Hammy's ass
 could it be
 could it fucking be
 look at her legs
 brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg
 >she sharted
 >she actually fucking sharted
 and left a brown trail
 had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5
 minutes
 janitor almost puked cleaning it up
Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake

Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake