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Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards >be me mormonfag church boring as fuck not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for my family hate testimony week basically open mic day once a week at church people go up and are supposed to talk about how great god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they are and what vacation they went on last literally just a big dick measuring contest new family moves into ward pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself rather than see that happen. not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable as fuck downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as you'd think anyway testimony week comes around, dreading it first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot of people on his mission >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie roar from across the room "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!" room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie. no dick measuring with him around next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk about how much she loves her husband, and how he took the whole family on a trip to mexico recently Downie interrupts "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!" lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially borderline gay for downie later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward ever we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it real we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be 6.5 kB JPG 33 min. ago. Anonymous | 44806137 cont next week, Downey takes it up a notclh mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but the talks can suuuuuuck worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk and they ramble for an hour and a half old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all about to go insane when downie stands up YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO lady wraps up we're all in fucking awe of this god among us anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out its fucking amazing >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left. the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies. me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone downie asks if he can tell us a secret we say sure, you can tell us anything "Dah tole me wat to say all those times. >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years because he knew it was helping him have friends. >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel 1 REPLY Anon goes to church
Big Dick, Chill, and Church: ITT: Glorious Retards
 >be me
 mormonfag
 church boring as fuck
 not really that interested in going, its a cult, mostly do it for
 my family
 hate testimony week
 basically open mic day once a week at church
 people go up and are supposed to talk about how great
 god is or whatever, generally just talk about how great they
 are and what vacation they went on last
 literally just a big dick measuring contest
 new family moves into ward
 pretty unusual situation: single dad, downie kid. we learned
 way later that he accidentally got a girl pregnant, she
 wanted to abort downie, he said he'd raise the baby himself
 rather than see that happen.
 not sure if i agree with it, but gotta admit, that's honorable
 as fuck
 downies a good kid too, sweet as can be, not as dumb as
 you'd think
 anyway
 testimony week comes around, dreading it
 first guy goes up, starts talking about how he baptized a lot
 of people on his mission
 >am rolling my eyes in five dimensions when I heard downie
 roar from across the room
 "TEHTIMONEY WEEK IS FOHR TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 room goes quiet, guy wraps up quickly, sits down
 people tell actual wholesome stuff, they fear the downie.
 no dick measuring with him around
 next week similar thing happens: woman goes up to talk
 about how much she loves her husband, and how he took
 the whole family on a trip to mexico recently
 Downie interrupts
 "TEHTIMONEY! WEEK! IS! FOHR! TEHTIMONEYS! NOE!"
 lady sits down, normal talking goes on, im officially
 borderline gay for downie
 later talking with my edgelord apostate friends, we all talk
 about how downie is the best thing to happen to this ward
 ever
 we find downie and thank him for keeping it real. his dad
 is super touched that we all stopped by, we all make sure
 to thank downie for his interruptions and tell him to keep it
 real
 we thought maybe his dad would be annoyed that we were
 encouraging this, but his dad was chill as could be
 6.5 kB JPG

 33 min. ago.
 Anonymous | 44806137
 cont
 next week, Downey takes it up a notclh
 mormon services have two or three talks a servic, all done by volunteers, but
 the talks can suuuuuuck
 worst ones are when old people/newly returned missionaries are asked to talk
 and they ramble for an hour and a half
 old lady is going on and on about growing up in the great depression. we're all
 about to go insane when downie stands up
 YOU TAHK TOO LON, OTHER SPEACHERS NEED TO TAHK TOO
 lady wraps up
 we're all in fucking awe of this god among us
 anytime somebody rambles, or tries to humblebrag, downie calls them out
 its fucking amazing
 >church is still a cult but its actually kind of fun now with downie there
 me and my edgelord friends keep an eye on him, nobody fucks with our downie
 we get near the end of HS when downie has a heart attack
 we all visit him in the hospital. we fucking love him
 >he survived the heart attack, but he just may not have a whole lot of time left.
 the sunday, the dad announces that him and his son are going to be moving out
 of state. wants to show his son more of the world before he dies.
 me and my friends go to downies house to say goodbye, tell him we're going to
 miss him so much, testimoney week is going to turn back to shit with him gone
 downie asks if he can tell us a secret
 we say sure, you can tell us anything
 "Dah tole me wat to say all those times.
 >mfw his dad originally used his retarded son as a way to ignore social
 conventions and tell people to stfu, but wound up continuing to do it for years
 because he knew it was helping him have friends.
 >mfw when im not sure if his dad is an asshole or a genius
 >mfw I don't even care anymore, I still think fondly of that glorious downie
 bastard yelling at old ladies from the back of the chapel
 1 REPLY
Anon goes to church

Anon goes to church

Big Dick, Cheating, and God: .11 TELUS 3:46 PM Ashley Lee Monday at 12:07 PM If she cheats on you, the best thing to do before leaving her is THINK first. The big dick goth bf she's cheating on you with clearly has what YOU don't have. So you need to start being like him and apologize to her for not being him. YOU need to understand that WOMEN need multiple men. The more you accept that, the better off you'll be! Worship the ground she walks on, make her favorite meal and shut up. If she wants to cheat, it is her GOD given RIGHT to. b Like Comment Share #00 2.7K <p><a href="https://epicurean-existence.tumblr.com/post/172017486765/yourboyfriendcallsmemommy-how-can-i-delete-myself" class="tumblr_blog">epicurean-existence</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://yourboyfriendcallsmemommy.tumblr.com/post/172005125748/how-can-i-delete-myself-from-existence-so-i-never" class="tumblr_blog">yourboyfriendcallsmemommy</a>:</p><blockquote><p>How can I delete myself from existence so I never have to think about the fact someone this retarded walks on the earth</p></blockquote><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="400" data-orig-width="316"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/88db5f55d6b2963b1cee3ac463677e38/tumblr_inline_p5tdzmg7U81v15742_400.jpg" data-orig-height="400" data-orig-width="316"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Enjoy your chlamydia</p>
Big Dick, Cheating, and God: .11 TELUS
 3:46 PM
 Ashley Lee
 Monday at 12:07 PM
 If she cheats on you, the best thing to do before
 leaving her is THINK first. The big dick goth bf she's
 cheating on you with clearly has what YOU don't have.
 So you need to start being like him and apologize to
 her for not being him. YOU need to understand that
 WOMEN need multiple men. The more you accept
 that, the better off you'll be!
 Worship the ground she walks on, make her favorite
 meal and shut up. If she wants to cheat, it is her GOD
 given RIGHT to.
 b Like Comment
 Share
 #00 2.7K
<p><a href="https://epicurean-existence.tumblr.com/post/172017486765/yourboyfriendcallsmemommy-how-can-i-delete-myself" class="tumblr_blog">epicurean-existence</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://yourboyfriendcallsmemommy.tumblr.com/post/172005125748/how-can-i-delete-myself-from-existence-so-i-never" class="tumblr_blog">yourboyfriendcallsmemommy</a>:</p><blockquote><p>How can I delete myself from existence so I never have to think about the fact someone this retarded walks on the earth</p></blockquote><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="400" data-orig-width="316"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/88db5f55d6b2963b1cee3ac463677e38/tumblr_inline_p5tdzmg7U81v15742_400.jpg" data-orig-height="400" data-orig-width="316"/></figure></blockquote>

<p>Enjoy your chlamydia</p>

<p><a href="https://epicurean-existence.tumblr.com/post/172017486765/yourboyfriendcallsmemommy-how-can-i-delete-myself" class="tumblr_blog">...

Big Dick, Tumblr, and Work: <p><a href="http://gothseparatism.tumblr.com/post/171868720483/dykeboots-fortooate-car0den-fortooate-i" class="tumblr_blog">gothseparatism</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://dykeboots.tumblr.com/post/171866798164/fortooate-car0den-fortooate-i-am-so-fuking" class="tumblr_blog">dykeboots</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://fortooate.tumblr.com/post/171856038144" class="tumblr_blog">fortooate</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://car0den.tumblr.com/post/171855164753/fortooate-i-am-so-fuking-happy-about-luigi" class="tumblr_blog">car0den</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://fortooate.tumblr.com/post/171854980234" class="tumblr_blog">fortooate</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>i am so fuking happy about luigi tennis</p></blockquote> <p> does Luigi have a big dick I can’t tell <br/></p> </blockquote> <p>that’s the beauty part</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="463" data-orig-width="540"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/36ff48ee8e7b8c159f70a2a8fd0fa033/tumblr_inline_p5kgixjwYt1r0z785_540.png" data-orig-height="463" data-orig-width="540"/></figure><p>some rough work reveals that luigi may be close to four inches flaccid, although this is <b>a)</b> simply one interpretation of which way his dick is resting,<b> b)</b> therefore is merely an educated guess as to length, <b>c)</b> does not account for any level of partial erection, &amp; <b>d)</b> reveals little to nothing about his erect measurement</p> <p>what we do know, however, is that luigi has a dick. and that? that’s great.</p> </blockquote> <p>mark I’m coming to confiscate your computer</p> </blockquote> <p>don’t censor him</p> </blockquote> <p>Some animator deadass took the time to animate a dick bulge for Luigi. It’s time for Japan to be stopped.</p>
Big Dick, Tumblr, and Work: <p><a href="http://gothseparatism.tumblr.com/post/171868720483/dykeboots-fortooate-car0den-fortooate-i" class="tumblr_blog">gothseparatism</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="https://dykeboots.tumblr.com/post/171866798164/fortooate-car0den-fortooate-i-am-so-fuking" class="tumblr_blog">dykeboots</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://fortooate.tumblr.com/post/171856038144" class="tumblr_blog">fortooate</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://car0den.tumblr.com/post/171855164753/fortooate-i-am-so-fuking-happy-about-luigi" class="tumblr_blog">car0den</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://fortooate.tumblr.com/post/171854980234" class="tumblr_blog">fortooate</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>i am so fuking happy about luigi tennis</p></blockquote>
<p>

does Luigi have a big dick I can’t tell

<br/></p>
</blockquote>
<p>that’s the beauty part</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="463" data-orig-width="540"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/36ff48ee8e7b8c159f70a2a8fd0fa033/tumblr_inline_p5kgixjwYt1r0z785_540.png" data-orig-height="463" data-orig-width="540"/></figure><p>some rough work reveals that luigi may be close to four inches flaccid, although this is <b>a)</b> simply one interpretation of which way his dick is resting,<b> b)</b> therefore is merely an educated guess as to length, <b>c)</b> does not account for any level of partial erection, &amp; <b>d)</b> reveals little to nothing about his erect measurement</p>
<p>what we do know, however, is that luigi has a dick. and that? that’s great.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>mark I’m coming to confiscate your computer</p>
</blockquote>

<p>don’t censor him</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Some animator deadass took the time to animate a dick bulge for Luigi. It’s time for Japan to be stopped.</p>

<p><a href="http://gothseparatism.tumblr.com/post/171868720483/dykeboots-fortooate-car0den-fortooate-i" class="tumblr_blog">gothseparatism</...

Big Dick, Tumblr, and Blog: <p><a href="https://superdirty2.tumblr.com/post/169356334535/big-dick-803" class="tumblr_blog">superdirty2</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Big dick - 803</p></blockquote>
Big Dick, Tumblr, and Blog: <p><a href="https://superdirty2.tumblr.com/post/169356334535/big-dick-803" class="tumblr_blog">superdirty2</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p>Big dick - 803</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="https://superdirty2.tumblr.com/post/169356334535/big-dick-803" class="tumblr_blog">superdirty2</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Big dick...

5 Am, Ass, and Bad: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19:54:36 No. 746664631 >2746670273 My autistic tinder hookup be me, 19 > ust quit night job, sleep schedule fucked up > have a cold > trying to stay up to fix sleep schedule, dying > fuck with girls on tinder, don't really care about it > used to try to get girls on it, gave up after only whales and retards were dtf > match with a mexican girl, 50 miles away > she's okay looking, not bad but nothing too special > send her a message saying "u like spaghettio?" > spaghettio's autocorrected to spaghettio, I thought it was funny > she just says "yes" > don't reply for a few hours > she sends me a message saving "you look like you have a big dick > I am confused and assure her that I do not > she says she wants to be penetrated > she says that she is moving away for school soon and doesn't want anything serious > I look her up on facebook and make sure that l'm not being catfished > see that she's about to move from the Midwest to California for school > the school is a community college > the subject gets changed, I ask her about herself while I nervously try to decide if I should fuck her > she starts telling me about her political stances, and how she wants to change the world > says she wants to teach at an inner-city school > I asked if she has ever gone to one, she says no but that she rode a bus with one once, and the students were all ignorant > she sends me a 15 minute john oliver video about translators helping the military in the middle east > I watch it for some reason > she starts talking about us fucking again > decide fuck it, I'm tired of missing my chances to get free puss > my only prior sexual experience is jerking my flaccid dick off on an escort's couch for 10 minutes tell her I'm dtf, ask for her numbe > she won't give it to me, she doesn't want us to get that close since she's moving > tells me she doesn't want to kiss when we hook up > fine with me, I'm bad at it anyways > she sends me her address Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19 57 04 No. 746664850 File: 2.ipg (35 KB, 324x470) s it's almost 10 pm at this point, I've already been awake for 23 hours > I shower and finally leave at like 11 get in my newly-purchased $1500 piece of shit car > loud as fuck, power steering barely functional, tire pressure terrible > start heading to her house, 1 hr 20 min trip according to google > realize that I should stop to get a 5 hour energy and put air in my tires > go to speedway, buy the 5 hour energy -1/--Hime > cashier keeps talking to me about how I'll need it for pokemon go (it just came out) > he won't stop talking about it, meanwhile im nervous as fuck finally leave, put air in my tires > their pressure is extremely low and I've only driven for 20 minutes so far > keep going, scared that car isn't going to be able to make it > stop again at another speedway, about an hour into the trip >put the air in my tires, try to find my way back to highway > have shitty ass cheap phone service, can't get google maps to load > just get back on highway and keep driving for a while > google maps is loading again, I make it to her town > having severe stomach issues, about to shit myself > lose service in her town, have no idea where I'm at >pull up to a sketchy ass gas station, go in to release my bowels > later in life I find out that I have irritable bowel syndrome > shit in the bathroom for probably 15 minutes, it's now almost 1 am > leave the bathroom, 2 men standing at the counter smiling at me > avoid eye contact and leave > still nervous as fuck and without phone service > drive around her town not knowing what to do >want to go home, but I've already made it this far so I cant give up finally get service, check tinder to see over 10 messages from her > she's getting pissed and wants to know what's going on > I park in front of someone's house and tell her that I'm lost > try to memorize directions to her house in case I lose service again > head to her house once again, lose service >think I find her house, but it's a two-family house and her neighbors are outside for some reason > not sure what to do or where to park drive around the block a few times, her neighbors are obviously suspicious that my loud ass car keeps passing by finally decide to park, pull up in front of her house > her neighbors are staring at me, start calling someone > luckily have service and can message her > tell her ive arrived > unluckily she's retarded and won't come to the door she tells me to just walk in > tell her that sounds sketchy > she still wont come to the door, says shes busy drinking water neighbors still staring at me, almost 10 minutes have passed > decide fuck it, ill walk in > cop car pulls up as im getting out of my car s they shine their spotlight on me, they don't say anything > I wave like the autist I am to them > they don't react > just walk in, my heart is pounding > she's standing by the doorway wearing panties and a tank top > don't understand why she didn't just let me in but whatever she grabs me and leads me through her dark house > there is a child that she is supposed to be babysitting sleeping on the couch > her bed is just 2 twin size beds next to each other > it's hot as fuck and I don't think there is any AC, only a fan there's a huge mirror in front of her bed > Christmas lights all over her room > she lays down > I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do > just make small-talk about her neighbors she says something like "are we going to fuck or not?" > nervously strip to my baggy boxer-briefs >get in the bed, start kissing her thighs > she tells me to eat her out > I have no idea how to pull her panties off and start licking her nether regions no clue what im doing, she seems to be enjoying somehow though > decide to stick a finger in, she likes it s haphazardly jam more fingers in, she still likes it O Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:12:17 No.746666235 File: 4ipg (20 KB, 450x319) 2-746666831 >-746669345 >barely get it on, stick my chub inside her > thrust into her for a couple minutes, starting to lose breath > losing my boner minutes losing my boner > I get up and take my condom off > she starts sucking my dick her face is right around the corner from my asshole and I just had diarrhea she says she wants to ride me, I lay in the middle of her bed > the mattresses start to spread apart >I move to lay against the wall mostly on one mattress > it was dark so I couldn't tell, but I probably left ass sweat and shit stains all over her bed her titties are in my face, not totally sure what to do about them > I get back on top go for a few more minutes until I almost die she asks whyI keep getting so tired fuck her > I've been up for over 24 hours at this point, still sick we lay around talking about stuff for a while >trying to cool off, I don't even have a water >she rubs her hand on my dick and licks the precum off her finger > she sits on my dick while telling random stories tells me about how she was molested as a child probably giving me herpes > child starts knocking on door, crying > she yells at him to get back to bed > we get back to sex after 45 minutes try a few more positions > get her to try out some stuff like titty fucking and a foot job > I say "im gay" every time we switch positions because I am an autist and find it funny she asks me why I keep making fun of gay people she starts licking my mouth and tongue even though she said we shouldn't kiss > she's rubbing my dick on her clit and im about to cum > not sure what to do or say or where to cum > start to cum on her chest she sticks my dick in her mouth as I finish > we clean up, I ask her if she wants me to leave or if we should keep fucking > she says she planned on continuing > I somehow don't lose my erection and im miraculously able to continue >we do a few more positions, my unprotected dick is inside her while there is probably cum in my urethra Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:14:53 No.746666535Β· File: 5ipg (258 KB, 1300x1131) 746667711 >im fucking her hard at one point, she's moaning "seel See!" > ask her "see what? > she says "no, Spanish" > Im a retard > almost an hour goes by, we're both tired and hot now she says she really wants to do some freaky shit, asks me for ideas > I don't fucking know > I think she mightve came twice, I don't really remember >she came at least once, not sure how I did it >I just want to get another nut off > she's ferociously sucking my dick, im >she gives up and lays with her face in the bed, her ass up > it takes every little bit of energy for me to cum onto her ass 9 she tells me to take a photo so I do >she tries to move my hand to her asshole, I resist > get dressed, go for a hug she gives me a high-five instead, doesn't want us to get close >say bye, leave > drive home for over an hour >awake for like 30 hours, dehydrated, hot > contemplating life, the possibility that I got her pregnant > probably have herpes > just want to go home and shower and sleep > have never felt so dead inside >get home after 5 am, dad is getting ready for work >go to sleep without showering > periodically look her up to make sure she isn't pregnant struggling to cum Anon gets laid
5 Am, Ass, and Bad: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19:54:36 No. 746664631
 >2746670273
 My autistic tinder hookup
 be me, 19
 > ust quit night job, sleep schedule fucked up
 > have a cold
 > trying to stay up to fix sleep schedule, dying
 > fuck with girls on tinder, don't really care about it
 > used to try to get girls on it, gave up after only whales and
 retards were dtf
 > match with a mexican girl, 50 miles away
 > she's okay looking, not bad but nothing too special
 > send her a message saying "u like spaghettio?"
 > spaghettio's autocorrected to spaghettio, I thought it was funny
 > she just says "yes"
 > don't reply for a few hours
 > she sends me a message saving "you look like you have a big
 dick
 > I am confused and assure her that I do not
 > she says she wants to be penetrated
 > she says that she is moving away for school soon and doesn't want anything serious
 > I look her up on facebook and make sure that l'm not being catfished
 > see that she's about to move from the Midwest to California for school
 > the school is a community college
 > the subject gets changed, I ask her about herself while I nervously try to decide if I should
 fuck her
 > she starts telling me about her political stances, and how she wants to change the world
 > says she wants to teach at an inner-city school
 > I asked if she has ever gone to one, she says no but that she rode a bus with one once, and
 the students were all ignorant
 > she sends me a 15 minute john oliver video about translators helping the military in the
 middle east
 > I watch it for some reason
 > she starts talking about us fucking again
 > decide fuck it, I'm tired of missing my chances to get free puss
 > my only prior sexual experience is jerking my flaccid dick off on an escort's couch for 10
 minutes
 tell her I'm dtf, ask for her numbe
 > she won't give it to me, she doesn't want us to get that close since she's moving
 > tells me she doesn't want to kiss when we hook up
 > fine with me, I'm bad at it anyways
 > she sends me her address

 Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19 57 04 No. 746664850
 File: 2.ipg (35 KB, 324x470)
 s it's almost 10 pm at this point, I've already been awake for 23 hours
 > I shower and finally leave at like 11
 get in my newly-purchased $1500 piece of shit car
 > loud as fuck, power steering barely functional, tire pressure terrible
 > start heading to her house, 1 hr 20 min trip according to google
 > realize that I should stop to get a 5 hour energy and put air in my
 tires
 > go to speedway, buy the 5 hour energy
 -1/--Hime
 > cashier keeps talking to me about how I'll need it for pokemon go (it just came out)
 > he won't stop talking about it, meanwhile im nervous as fuck
 finally leave, put air in my tires
 > their pressure is extremely low and I've only driven for 20 minutes so far
 > keep going, scared that car isn't going to be able to make it
 > stop again at another speedway, about an hour into the trip
 >put the air in my tires, try to find my way back to highway
 > have shitty ass cheap phone service, can't get google maps to load
 > just get back on highway and keep driving for a while
 > google maps is loading again, I make it to her town
 > having severe stomach issues, about to shit myself
 > lose service in her town, have no idea where I'm at
 >pull up to a sketchy ass gas station, go in to release my bowels
 > later in life I find out that I have irritable bowel syndrome
 > shit in the bathroom for probably 15 minutes, it's now almost 1 am
 > leave the bathroom, 2 men standing at the counter smiling at me
 > avoid eye contact and leave
 > still nervous as fuck and without phone service
 > drive around her town not knowing what to do
 >want to go home, but I've already made it this far so I cant give up
 finally get service, check tinder to see over 10 messages from her
 > she's getting pissed and wants to know what's going on
 > I park in front of someone's house and tell her that I'm lost
 > try to memorize directions to her house in case I lose service again
 > head to her house once again, lose service

 >think I find her house, but it's a two-family house and her neighbors
 are outside for some reason
 > not sure what to do or where to park
 drive around the block a few times, her neighbors are obviously
 suspicious that my loud ass car keeps passing by
 finally decide to park, pull up in front of her house
 > her neighbors are staring at me, start calling someone
 > luckily have service and can message her
 > tell her ive arrived
 > unluckily she's retarded and won't come to the door
 she tells me to just walk in
 > tell her that sounds sketchy
 > she still wont come to the door, says shes busy drinking water
 neighbors still staring at me, almost 10 minutes have passed
 > decide fuck it, ill walk in
 > cop car pulls up as im getting out of my car
 s they shine their spotlight on me, they don't say anything
 > I wave like the autist I am to them
 > they don't react
 > just walk in, my heart is pounding
 > she's standing by the doorway wearing panties and a tank top
 > don't understand why she didn't just let me in but whatever
 she grabs me and leads me through her dark house
 > there is a child that she is supposed to be babysitting sleeping on the couch
 > her bed is just 2 twin size beds next to each other
 > it's hot as fuck and I don't think there is any AC, only a fan
 there's a huge mirror in front of her bed
 > Christmas lights all over her room
 > she lays down
 > I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do
 > just make small-talk about her neighbors
 she says something like "are we going to fuck or not?"
 > nervously strip to my baggy boxer-briefs
 >get in the bed, start kissing her thighs
 > she tells me to eat her out
 > I have no idea how to
 pull her panties off and start licking her nether regions
 no clue what im doing, she seems to be enjoying somehow though
 > decide to stick a finger in, she likes it
 s haphazardly jam more fingers in, she still likes it

 O Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:12:17 No.746666235
 File: 4ipg (20 KB, 450x319)
 2-746666831 >-746669345
 >barely get it on, stick my chub inside her
 > thrust into her for a couple minutes, starting to lose breath
 > losing my boner
 minutes
 losing my boner
 > I get up and take my condom off
 > she starts sucking my dick
 her face is right around the corner from my asshole and I just had
 diarrhea
 she says she wants to ride me, I lay in the middle of her bed
 > the mattresses start to spread apart
 >I move to lay against the wall mostly on one mattress
 > it was dark so I couldn't tell, but I probably left ass sweat and shit stains all over her bed
 her titties are in my face, not totally sure what to do about them
 > I get back on top
 go for a few more minutes until I almost die
 she asks whyI keep getting so tired
 fuck her
 > I've been up for over 24 hours at this point, still sick
 we lay around talking about stuff for a while
 >trying to cool off, I don't even have a water
 >she rubs her hand on my dick and licks the precum off her finger
 > she sits on my dick while telling random stories
 tells me about how she was molested as a child
 probably giving me herpes
 > child starts knocking on door, crying
 > she yells at him to get back to bed
 > we get back to sex after 45 minutes
 try a few more positions
 > get her to try out some stuff like titty fucking and a foot job
 > I say "im gay" every time we switch positions because I am an autist and find it funny
 she asks me why I keep making fun of gay people
 she starts licking my mouth and tongue even though she said we shouldn't kiss
 > she's rubbing my dick on her clit and im about to cum
 > not sure what to do or say or where to cum
 > start to cum on her chest
 she sticks my dick in her mouth as I finish
 > we clean up, I ask her if she wants me to leave or if we should keep fucking
 > she says she planned on continuing
 > I somehow don't lose my erection and im miraculously able to continue
 >we do a few more positions, my unprotected dick is inside her while there is probably
 cum in my urethra

 Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:14:53 No.746666535Β·
 File: 5ipg (258 KB, 1300x1131)
 746667711
 >im fucking her hard at one point, she's
 moaning "seel See!"
 > ask her "see what?
 > she says "no, Spanish"
 > Im a retard
 > almost an hour goes by, we're both tired and
 hot now
 she says she really wants to do some freaky shit, asks me for ideas
 > I don't fucking know
 > I think she mightve came twice, I don't really remember
 >she came at least once, not sure how I did it
 >I just want to get another nut off
 > she's ferociously sucking my dick, im
 >she gives up and lays with her face in the bed, her ass up
 > it takes every little bit of energy for me to cum onto her ass
 9 she tells me to take a photo so I do
 >she tries to move my hand to her asshole, I resist
 > get dressed, go for a hug
 she gives me a high-five instead, doesn't want us to get close
 >say bye, leave
 > drive home for over an hour
 >awake for like 30 hours, dehydrated, hot
 > contemplating life, the possibility that I got her pregnant
 > probably have herpes
 > just want to go home and shower and sleep
 > have never felt so dead inside
 >get home after 5 am, dad is getting ready for work
 >go to sleep without showering
 > periodically look her up to make sure she isn't pregnant
 struggling to cum
Anon gets laid

Anon gets laid