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Bad, Beyonce, and Booty: If you don't pet him, you're a monster. Pic: reddit u/coal the slaw @DrSmashlove So yesterday I had about 12 hours of work to knock out and as the night got older, I had to leave the warm, familiar confines of my go-to Mom-and-Pop coffee joints that serve coffee made with love, care, affection and human warmth (and therefore close early so that they wonderful baristas can go act in plays and paint paintings and do other artsy tings that allow them to form doves and angels and birds in yo latte) and head to the barren desert land that is Starbucks, where they serve piping-hot burnt sludge-water brewed from the charcoal grains of Hell. Literally Starbucks got a long term supply agreement with Satan where they pay half they net revenue to ol dude with the red goat face and long tail and in return he supply them with coffee that shouldn’t be served to maximum security prisoners bruv. BUT THEY OPEN 24-7 BECAUSE SATAN NEVER SLEEPS - HE’S ALWAYS WREAKING HAVOC (except during Ramadan 🤗😂). Anyway so I’m there and they got the nerve. The cot damn NERVE...to play a playlist where Jay and Beyoncé are followed by Johnny Cash which is followed by “Till the Lights Come On” by Sun Rai (I had to Google the lyrics. No offense Sun Rai u probably a star of some sort but ya music sound like booty cheeks NO OFFENSE 🤗). Who did this? Who is RESPONSIBLE for this? In addition to obtaining they coffee supply from Satan, do they also let him hook up the playlists? How I’m pose to concentrate when y’all playing Jakob Dylan followed by Echosmith? I have ADD. Is this playlist meant to melt the remaining shred of sanity I have? Y’all serve coffee that’s stronger than bad cocaine and y’all play music that is jarring, discordant and unharmonious - combine the two and I now have the subtle urge to punch a baby 🤗. Y’all absolutely some criminals for this lmao. Change that mermaid on ya cup to Lucifer because this is the last time I ever fux with y’all devilish establishment - AWAY FROM ME, SATAN! 🤗😂😂😂
Bad, Beyonce, and Booty: If you don't pet him, you're a monster.
 Pic: reddit u/coal the slaw
 @DrSmashlove
So yesterday I had about 12 hours of work to knock out and as the night got older, I had to leave the warm, familiar confines of my go-to Mom-and-Pop coffee joints that serve coffee made with love, care, affection and human warmth (and therefore close early so that they wonderful baristas can go act in plays and paint paintings and do other artsy tings that allow them to form doves and angels and birds in yo latte) and head to the barren desert land that is Starbucks, where they serve piping-hot burnt sludge-water brewed from the charcoal grains of Hell. Literally Starbucks got a long term supply agreement with Satan where they pay half they net revenue to ol dude with the red goat face and long tail and in return he supply them with coffee that shouldn’t be served to maximum security prisoners bruv. BUT THEY OPEN 24-7 BECAUSE SATAN NEVER SLEEPS - HE’S ALWAYS WREAKING HAVOC (except during Ramadan 🤗😂). Anyway so I’m there and they got the nerve. The cot damn NERVE...to play a playlist where Jay and Beyoncé are followed by Johnny Cash which is followed by “Till the Lights Come On” by Sun Rai (I had to Google the lyrics. No offense Sun Rai u probably a star of some sort but ya music sound like booty cheeks NO OFFENSE 🤗). Who did this? Who is RESPONSIBLE for this? In addition to obtaining they coffee supply from Satan, do they also let him hook up the playlists? How I’m pose to concentrate when y’all playing Jakob Dylan followed by Echosmith? I have ADD. Is this playlist meant to melt the remaining shred of sanity I have? Y’all serve coffee that’s stronger than bad cocaine and y’all play music that is jarring, discordant and unharmonious - combine the two and I now have the subtle urge to punch a baby 🤗. Y’all absolutely some criminals for this lmao. Change that mermaid on ya cup to Lucifer because this is the last time I ever fux with y’all devilish establishment - AWAY FROM ME, SATAN! 🤗😂😂😂

So yesterday I had about 12 hours of work to knock out and as the night got older, I had to leave the warm, familiar confines of my go-to Mo...

Anime, Bootleg, and Booty: Her: baby my ankle hurts Me: I gotchu If a girls over 5”5 and texts you “We gone fight next time I see you” she literally will give you the smack down. It was around the time I was just getting a little clout. I scooped cute baddie but she kinda on the tall side. She avergae more boards than Deandre Jordan of the los angles clippers. She invited me over to her house to chill for the evening. Baby girl opened the door with the shortest booty shorts a nigga ever seen. I can see her booty jiggle as each cheek read “child-Support”. Pulling out was never an option. Laid on the couch we watching bootleg dvds. You know it’s bout to turn real hood in a min. This girl told me she was getting sick from the weather change. It’s funny how a girl be all freaky in the text messages but now all of a sudden she sick. I ain’t fail algebra twice to know something wasn’t adding up. I tried moving my hand down her back, soon as I’m halfway she let out a smoke screen of coughs. Breath Smelled all types of bacterial infections. I love my dick too much to put him through that. Ain’t no Pokémon center nearby here. I couldn’t see no hope in sight when the lord sent me a sign. She tells her beck was hurting. Perfect opportunity to make my move, I offered a massage. I’m working my way down her back when says “if your hand goes down further we gone fight”. Ain’t no serious tone or base in her voice so I’m like bet “Go time”, we really bout to rumble in the jungle. I creep lower when she horse kicks me right in my stomach. I look like a anime character who just got the shit out of him. Staring into space amazed at her strength. I get back up off the ground and tried to put her in the Kurt angle ankle lock. She revered it and had me in some next level Position. Nigga my belly bottom touching the back of my calf. I’m all types of fucked up. I’m looking like some iPhone head phones you pull out your pocket tangled like fuck. I had to tap out. I couldn’t even tap out. I cried out daddy. I ain’t never met the nigga either. Shorty dropped me and kicked me out. I couldn’t move. I came in on hopes and dreams and left on a stretcher. Moral of the story Tall bitches got the hands. ( Follow @Genuineguy & tag 2 friends below)
Anime, Bootleg, and Booty: Her: baby my ankle hurts
 Me: I gotchu
If a girls over 5”5 and texts you “We gone fight next time I see you” she literally will give you the smack down. It was around the time I was just getting a little clout. I scooped cute baddie but she kinda on the tall side. She avergae more boards than Deandre Jordan of the los angles clippers. She invited me over to her house to chill for the evening. Baby girl opened the door with the shortest booty shorts a nigga ever seen. I can see her booty jiggle as each cheek read “child-Support”. Pulling out was never an option. Laid on the couch we watching bootleg dvds. You know it’s bout to turn real hood in a min. This girl told me she was getting sick from the weather change. It’s funny how a girl be all freaky in the text messages but now all of a sudden she sick. I ain’t fail algebra twice to know something wasn’t adding up. I tried moving my hand down her back, soon as I’m halfway she let out a smoke screen of coughs. Breath Smelled all types of bacterial infections. I love my dick too much to put him through that. Ain’t no Pokémon center nearby here. I couldn’t see no hope in sight when the lord sent me a sign. She tells her beck was hurting. Perfect opportunity to make my move, I offered a massage. I’m working my way down her back when says “if your hand goes down further we gone fight”. Ain’t no serious tone or base in her voice so I’m like bet “Go time”, we really bout to rumble in the jungle. I creep lower when she horse kicks me right in my stomach. I look like a anime character who just got the shit out of him. Staring into space amazed at her strength. I get back up off the ground and tried to put her in the Kurt angle ankle lock. She revered it and had me in some next level Position. Nigga my belly bottom touching the back of my calf. I’m all types of fucked up. I’m looking like some iPhone head phones you pull out your pocket tangled like fuck. I had to tap out. I couldn’t even tap out. I cried out daddy. I ain’t never met the nigga either. Shorty dropped me and kicked me out. I couldn’t move. I came in on hopes and dreams and left on a stretcher. Moral of the story Tall bitches got the hands. ( Follow @Genuineguy & tag 2 friends below)

If a girls over 5”5 and texts you “We gone fight next time I see you” she literally will give you the smack down. It was around the time I w...

Baked, Bless Up, and Booty: Saw this good boy waiting outside a bakers for his human in Rosyth, Scotland Pic: reddit u/MacSquizzy @ DrSmashlove Men as I told y’all if u lay pipe skillfully and dutifully to a pretty ting, she might fvck around and bake for u. Just like placing the hands to the throat is the international sign for “I’m choking” (also the international sign for “choke me daddy” 😬), handing a man a container full of fresh baked cookies or fudge lets him know u felt the D in your soul 💕. Sometimes a lady will give u the cookies in plastic Tupperware. Always a wonderful touch. This says: “here is some reusable Tupperware, daddy. Remember me when you order Thai food and need somewhere to store your leftover pad Thai 😌.” But see some of u ladies wanna go the extra mile. This type of lady wanna give u them warm, chewy cookies in one of them extremely classy glass containers with a plastic lid. One of them Pyrex or Anchor Hocking joints. This ain’t just about cookies bruv. This is an entirely different statement. She giving u a high grade reusable container that u can use over and over. U can heat up some soup in there. Throw some veggies in there for an afternoon snack. U feel me? There are Myriad uses for this wondrous technology bruv. This a bold statement. She improving yo life. She saying “thank you for the pipe daddy, you upgraded my Punani, so in return I’m gonna upgrade your entire existence. I opened your fridge and saw you storing leftovers in a Cool Whip container, that’s no way to live daddy 😌 here’s something that will give your leftovers better flavor 🤗.” Bam. Now every time u use it, u think of how she low key upgraded you. Now I’m not saying u ladies owe a man this type of sweetness just for good D. Shiiiiiit u DESERVE good D! That’s off the top! A man shouldn’t be rewarded for merely performing his Duty To The Thee Booty! But if he do, and if u bequeath uponst him Thee Glassware, just know that he gon love both the cookies and the container and the fondness in his heart will only increase. A lot of these men out here was raised by wolves. If he fulfilling his duties as yo daddy, it don’t hurt to be his mommy 🤗 TheresNoHopeForOurGenerarion 😂 p.s. ALWAYS OFFER TO RETURN IT - IF SHE TAKE IT BACK, U JUST A SIDE PIECE. TEMPORARY TUPPERWARE = TEMPORARY D, BLESS UP 🤗😂
Baked, Bless Up, and Booty: Saw this good boy waiting outside a bakers for
 his human in Rosyth, Scotland
 Pic: reddit u/MacSquizzy
 @ DrSmashlove
Men as I told y’all if u lay pipe skillfully and dutifully to a pretty ting, she might fvck around and bake for u. Just like placing the hands to the throat is the international sign for “I’m choking” (also the international sign for “choke me daddy” 😬), handing a man a container full of fresh baked cookies or fudge lets him know u felt the D in your soul 💕. Sometimes a lady will give u the cookies in plastic Tupperware. Always a wonderful touch. This says: “here is some reusable Tupperware, daddy. Remember me when you order Thai food and need somewhere to store your leftover pad Thai 😌.” But see some of u ladies wanna go the extra mile. This type of lady wanna give u them warm, chewy cookies in one of them extremely classy glass containers with a plastic lid. One of them Pyrex or Anchor Hocking joints. This ain’t just about cookies bruv. This is an entirely different statement. She giving u a high grade reusable container that u can use over and over. U can heat up some soup in there. Throw some veggies in there for an afternoon snack. U feel me? There are Myriad uses for this wondrous technology bruv. This a bold statement. She improving yo life. She saying “thank you for the pipe daddy, you upgraded my Punani, so in return I’m gonna upgrade your entire existence. I opened your fridge and saw you storing leftovers in a Cool Whip container, that’s no way to live daddy 😌 here’s something that will give your leftovers better flavor 🤗.” Bam. Now every time u use it, u think of how she low key upgraded you. Now I’m not saying u ladies owe a man this type of sweetness just for good D. Shiiiiiit u DESERVE good D! That’s off the top! A man shouldn’t be rewarded for merely performing his Duty To The Thee Booty! But if he do, and if u bequeath uponst him Thee Glassware, just know that he gon love both the cookies and the container and the fondness in his heart will only increase. A lot of these men out here was raised by wolves. If he fulfilling his duties as yo daddy, it don’t hurt to be his mommy 🤗 TheresNoHopeForOurGenerarion 😂 p.s. ALWAYS OFFER TO RETURN IT - IF SHE TAKE IT BACK, U JUST A SIDE PIECE. TEMPORARY TUPPERWARE = TEMPORARY D, BLESS UP 🤗😂

Men as I told y’all if u lay pipe skillfully and dutifully to a pretty ting, she might fvck around and bake for u. Just like placing the han...

Ass, Booty, and Church: These pants make the world go round... Ass be looking STUPID fat it don't matter who it is There has to be a deeper science behind these tights. My homie grandma accidentally through on his sisters leggings for a funeral mistaking them for stockings. Grandma carol was caked up up beyond measure. Every time her walker hit the floor her cake would make the sanctuary shift. Hymnols falling out the pews, if she twerked dust from the creation of earth would shake out. Ass so powerful it would cause a wind to blow and change the pages in the Bible. Grandma Carol walked past the casket we seen Grandpa Dale sit straight up like the undertaker. Eyes rolled all the way back. He done turned into a white walker. I thought we would need to do a exorcism. Last time a old niqqa came back to life stinkmiener caused havoc. The whole church scared he done senses the booty levels over 10,000,000 and such power bought the dead back to life. It was like the hand of the booty Gods reached down from the heavens and woke up Grandpa Dale. Nigga caught the strength of 1000 sayians and took grandma Carol home. Grandpa Dale ain’t even last two strokes he wasn’t hooked up to his dialysis machine and died again. Nigga funeral this Tuesday. Moral of the story these leggings have to power to bring the dead back to life, make saggy old booty cheeks into rejuvenated pieces of cake.
Ass, Booty, and Church: These pants make the world go
 round... Ass be looking STUPID fat
 it don't matter who it is
There has to be a deeper science behind these tights. My homie grandma accidentally through on his sisters leggings for a funeral mistaking them for stockings. Grandma carol was caked up up beyond measure. Every time her walker hit the floor her cake would make the sanctuary shift. Hymnols falling out the pews, if she twerked dust from the creation of earth would shake out. Ass so powerful it would cause a wind to blow and change the pages in the Bible. Grandma Carol walked past the casket we seen Grandpa Dale sit straight up like the undertaker. Eyes rolled all the way back. He done turned into a white walker. I thought we would need to do a exorcism. Last time a old niqqa came back to life stinkmiener caused havoc. The whole church scared he done senses the booty levels over 10,000,000 and such power bought the dead back to life. It was like the hand of the booty Gods reached down from the heavens and woke up Grandpa Dale. Nigga caught the strength of 1000 sayians and took grandma Carol home. Grandpa Dale ain’t even last two strokes he wasn’t hooked up to his dialysis machine and died again. Nigga funeral this Tuesday. Moral of the story these leggings have to power to bring the dead back to life, make saggy old booty cheeks into rejuvenated pieces of cake.

There has to be a deeper science behind these tights. My homie grandma accidentally through on his sisters leggings for a funeral mistaking ...