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Be Like, Bless Up, and Bruh: My sister's gentle giant German Shepherd wears a bow tie everywhere because it makes people less intimidated and afraid of him. @DrSmashlove Reddit u/tricksy_trixie Say Bruh shout to u pretty a$$ ladies with resting bish face (RBF) bruv I fux with y’all. I fux witchu ladies the long way bruv y’all sexy. I’m talking and u just eyeing me. Scrutinizing me. U feel me? Am I making her mad? Is she disagreeing with me? What is she thinking? I need that. That element of risk. Like u might could reach across the table and break a bottle over my head bruv. That sh!t dangerous to me that’s sexy lol. Scowl at me. U feel me? HANGRY - even tho u just bodied four tacos, a bowl of guac, and a large horchata 😩. I fux with that. And women with RBF do well in business! That’s why women get successful and ppl be like “wow Susan is a bish” NO SHE AINT! SHE JUST GOT SKRONG RBF! “David if you don’t start being reasonable imma stab this pen into your neck. How you gon explain that to ya kids? You could have given us $17,000 more per month for this amazing software but nah. You wanted to die on your sword. Well David, act like a bish you gon DIE LIKE A BISH.” I mean I still remember tryina explain to my mama why my sister crying and my mama already got the chancleta IN HER HAND - RAISED - maybe EEN a wooden spoon in the other - just preparing for that cosmic two-tiered simultaneous SHLAP - SHMACK - CRACK of the spoon handle to end my existence u feel me? “Wow smash what a childhood that explains why you’re like this no wonder.” Ok first of all ...... YES ASF 😂. Y’all could judge my mama all u want to but u can’t have 1-on-1 convo’s with all ya chirren once u have more than three like after that u gotta be efficient and the flip flop - wooden spoon is efficient ASF. All I’m saying is at the end of the day I love my mama and perhaps RBF remind me of her Resting Boutta Whup Dat A$$ Face all I’m saying is for u ladies who are like “MY FRIENDS ALL SAY I HAVE THE WORST RBF LIKE HOW DO I GET RID OF THIS”...don’t 😍😂. As Tupac said, “You are appreciated ☺️”. Now none of u extra-a$$ ladies who follow me DM me talmbout “can I ride the Peepington while slapping u with a sandal and breaking wooden spoons on u zaddy ☺️” I told u I ain’t into being dominated! (Nah but DM me tho if u gon do it 🤤🤫) BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
Be Like, Bless Up, and Bruh: My sister's gentle giant German Shepherd
 wears a bow tie everywhere because it
 makes people less intimidated and afraid
 of him.
 @DrSmashlove
 Reddit u/tricksy_trixie
Say Bruh shout to u pretty a$$ ladies with resting bish face (RBF) bruv I fux with y’all. I fux witchu ladies the long way bruv y’all sexy. I’m talking and u just eyeing me. Scrutinizing me. U feel me? Am I making her mad? Is she disagreeing with me? What is she thinking? I need that. That element of risk. Like u might could reach across the table and break a bottle over my head bruv. That sh!t dangerous to me that’s sexy lol. Scowl at me. U feel me? HANGRY - even tho u just bodied four tacos, a bowl of guac, and a large horchata 😩. I fux with that. And women with RBF do well in business! That’s why women get successful and ppl be like “wow Susan is a bish” NO SHE AINT! SHE JUST GOT SKRONG RBF! “David if you don’t start being reasonable imma stab this pen into your neck. How you gon explain that to ya kids? You could have given us $17,000 more per month for this amazing software but nah. You wanted to die on your sword. Well David, act like a bish you gon DIE LIKE A BISH.” I mean I still remember tryina explain to my mama why my sister crying and my mama already got the chancleta IN HER HAND - RAISED - maybe EEN a wooden spoon in the other - just preparing for that cosmic two-tiered simultaneous SHLAP - SHMACK - CRACK of the spoon handle to end my existence u feel me? “Wow smash what a childhood that explains why you’re like this no wonder.” Ok first of all ...... YES ASF 😂. Y’all could judge my mama all u want to but u can’t have 1-on-1 convo’s with all ya chirren once u have more than three like after that u gotta be efficient and the flip flop - wooden spoon is efficient ASF. All I’m saying is at the end of the day I love my mama and perhaps RBF remind me of her Resting Boutta Whup Dat A$$ Face all I’m saying is for u ladies who are like “MY FRIENDS ALL SAY I HAVE THE WORST RBF LIKE HOW DO I GET RID OF THIS”...don’t 😍😂. As Tupac said, “You are appreciated ☺️”. Now none of u extra-a$$ ladies who follow me DM me talmbout “can I ride the Peepington while slapping u with a sandal and breaking wooden spoons on u zaddy ☺️” I told u I ain’t into being dominated! (Nah but DM me tho if u gon do it 🤤🤫) BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂

Say Bruh shout to u pretty a$$ ladies with resting bish face (RBF) bruv I fux with y’all. I fux witchu ladies the long way bruv y’all sexy. ...

Ass, Basketball, and Clothes: DEATHWISH @lorddthisdick I don't trust no nigga that wear basketball shorts under their pants 1/28/18, 1:56 AM View Tweet activity 108 Retweets 273 Likes busy boy @bashfuLbert 1/28/18 Replying to @lorddthisdick its convenient, and u can get crossed @ Not sure if people remember this one but: - *driving home after a long day* "Momma, can we get McDonalds?" "Do you got Mc-" "DONT EVEN SAY NOTHING TO ME BOYYYYYY." "We got plenty to eat a home anyway." "I've been eating that meatloaf hologram for 3 days straight and I've lost 7 pounds. Please." "I'll think about it." *raises false hope* *approaches McDonalds* *anxiety peaks* *drives past it* *stares at it as it gets smaller and smaller* *tears silently roll down face* "You better not be crying back there." *thinks about running away* "I told yo ass we got food at home." *arrives at home* "I'm going to bed, don't bother me." *mom goes to bed* *walks back into kitchen* *opens refrigerator* *eggs, ketchup, bologna, a bottle of water* *throws a silent tantrum* "Fuck this and fuck you." *goes back to room and grabs bookbag* *stuffs clothes into it* *marches back to kitchen* *opens refrige- "Holup, THERE AINT NO FUCKING FOOD TO EVEN TAKE!" *swings backpack into the window* *glass shatters* *tries to jump out, cuts leg open on glass* *falls face-first on the concrete* *goes unconscious*
Ass, Basketball, and Clothes: DEATHWISH
 @lorddthisdick
 I don't trust no nigga that wear
 basketball shorts under their pants
 1/28/18, 1:56 AM
 View Tweet activity
 108 Retweets 273 Likes
 busy boy @bashfuLbert 1/28/18
 Replying to @lorddthisdick
 its convenient, and u can get crossed @
Not sure if people remember this one but: - *driving home after a long day* "Momma, can we get McDonalds?" "Do you got Mc-" "DONT EVEN SAY NOTHING TO ME BOYYYYYY." "We got plenty to eat a home anyway." "I've been eating that meatloaf hologram for 3 days straight and I've lost 7 pounds. Please." "I'll think about it." *raises false hope* *approaches McDonalds* *anxiety peaks* *drives past it* *stares at it as it gets smaller and smaller* *tears silently roll down face* "You better not be crying back there." *thinks about running away* "I told yo ass we got food at home." *arrives at home* "I'm going to bed, don't bother me." *mom goes to bed* *walks back into kitchen* *opens refrigerator* *eggs, ketchup, bologna, a bottle of water* *throws a silent tantrum* "Fuck this and fuck you." *goes back to room and grabs bookbag* *stuffs clothes into it* *marches back to kitchen* *opens refrige- "Holup, THERE AINT NO FUCKING FOOD TO EVEN TAKE!" *swings backpack into the window* *glass shatters* *tries to jump out, cuts leg open on glass* *falls face-first on the concrete* *goes unconscious*

Not sure if people remember this one but: - *driving home after a long day* "Momma, can we get McDonalds?" "Do you got Mc-" "DONT EVEN SAY N...

Do It Again, Martin, and Memes: Carl Anthony Payne Says He's All for a 'Martin' Reboot, Thinks It's Long Overdue @balleralert Carl Anthony Payne Says He’s All for a ‘Martin’ Reboot, Thinks It’s Long Overdue - blogged by: @ashleytearra ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Well, it may be safe to say that the possibility of a ‘Martin’ reboot is headed in the right direction… and everyone seems to be on board with it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Over the weekend, TMZ caught up with CarlAnthonyPayne—who portrayed the role of ‘Cole Brown’ in the original series, and when asked about the promising project, he actually gave some hopeful responses. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “People are talking. We’re all talking,” he said, hesitantly, walking out of Mastro’s. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Although it did appear that Payne didn’t want to give “too much” information away, he didn’t exactly say “no” either. In fact, he said that he wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of bringing ‘Martin’ back at all. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Absolutely. Why not? I think the people want it. I think it’s long overdue. We created magic in a bottle. You know? Why not do it again?” The 48-year-old told TMZ. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ However, many have wondered if the reboot would be available through a particular streaming service or a television network. According to Payne, he’s rooting for Netflix. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “You know what? I think [Netflix] would be a good home for it. There’s a lot of room to grow there. It would be smarter, better, and funnier.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As of now, the specifics are unknown. But, hopefully, we’ll know more soon-if it really happens. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Rumors of a ‘Martin’ reboot have been swirling for quite some time now, but they recently resurfaced when MartinLawrence’s fiancée, Roberta Moradfar, let the cat out of the bag that Lawrence spilled the beans to her about it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ That following week, Lawrence was photoed out with co-stars Tisha Campbell-Martin and Tichina Arnold, which sparked more speculation.
Do It Again, Martin, and Memes: Carl Anthony Payne Says
 He's All for a 'Martin' Reboot,
 Thinks It's Long Overdue
 @balleralert
Carl Anthony Payne Says He’s All for a ‘Martin’ Reboot, Thinks It’s Long Overdue - blogged by: @ashleytearra ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Well, it may be safe to say that the possibility of a ‘Martin’ reboot is headed in the right direction… and everyone seems to be on board with it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Over the weekend, TMZ caught up with CarlAnthonyPayne—who portrayed the role of ‘Cole Brown’ in the original series, and when asked about the promising project, he actually gave some hopeful responses. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “People are talking. We’re all talking,” he said, hesitantly, walking out of Mastro’s. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Although it did appear that Payne didn’t want to give “too much” information away, he didn’t exactly say “no” either. In fact, he said that he wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of bringing ‘Martin’ back at all. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Absolutely. Why not? I think the people want it. I think it’s long overdue. We created magic in a bottle. You know? Why not do it again?” The 48-year-old told TMZ. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ However, many have wondered if the reboot would be available through a particular streaming service or a television network. According to Payne, he’s rooting for Netflix. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “You know what? I think [Netflix] would be a good home for it. There’s a lot of room to grow there. It would be smarter, better, and funnier.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As of now, the specifics are unknown. But, hopefully, we’ll know more soon-if it really happens. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Rumors of a ‘Martin’ reboot have been swirling for quite some time now, but they recently resurfaced when MartinLawrence’s fiancée, Roberta Moradfar, let the cat out of the bag that Lawrence spilled the beans to her about it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ That following week, Lawrence was photoed out with co-stars Tisha Campbell-Martin and Tichina Arnold, which sparked more speculation.

Carl Anthony Payne Says He’s All for a ‘Martin’ Reboot, Thinks It’s Long Overdue - blogged by: @ashleytearra ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Well, it may be...

Be Like, Bless Up, and Chicago: Waiting to surprise my SO with this little nugget when she gets home from work. Reddit u/belatedpajamas @DrSmashlove Now people always wanna be like “wow how do you live in Chicago”, “damn smash Chicago is cold asf why not Miami”, “wow Chicago is big cold yuck.” OKAY. DUH. NOBODY SAYING IT’S WARM LOL. But the cold got benefits. For one, it make the holidays pretty. I don’t celebrate Christmas but all the pretty lights and snowflakes bruv that make me feel like I’m in a quaint, adorable little English village. On some “Cheerio chap! Yes very good govvenah! BRIYYANT!” 😂 U feel me? Heritage. Not my heritage - but somebody heritage lol! Fireplaces. Cozy lil fires. U feel me? Seasons. Now it’s also downsides. I keep water bottles in my car and them bottles freeze. No bueno asf. But a HALF FROZE bottle is a come up! If u catch it at the right point in the freeze life cycle it develop a water PP column right up the middle that osmularicizes coldness through water you pour into the bottle it and freezes it to the optimal gym water temp. Boom. One sip and u transported to the mountains of Norway bruv. U thirsty. U been walking for days. U come upon a comely Norwegian birb with a gaggle of aggressive huskies barking at u. U like “Ok these huskies don’t like my kind lmao RIP to me it was real”. She opens her mouth and whispers: “Jeg kan se din PP-utskrift gjennom din overcoat” (“I can see your PP print through your overcoat”). And then u like “aye short blond hair on white girls is sexy ol McCaulay Culkin Justin Bieber with a fatty lookin a$$ PAUSE.” And she like “come. Drink.” And she open her shroud which is made from a single uncut bison skin and she bare nekky and she put my head against her heart and pour water into my mouth like I’m her bb and I’m like “wow Scandinavians are wild but I love it.” That’s how soothing that half frozen ice PP water bottle taste bruv. Anyway then she fall in love with me and ask me to live among her people and I’m like “Jeg er her for en god stund, ikke lenge, du vet jeg” (“I'm here for a good time not a long time, you know **I**”). And she shed a single tear and I pet the huskies and depart homeward. BOTTOM LINE THAT HALF FROZEN WATER BOTTLE IS A GYM BLESSING BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
Be Like, Bless Up, and Chicago: Waiting to surprise my SO with this
 little nugget when she gets home
 from work.
 Reddit u/belatedpajamas
 @DrSmashlove
Now people always wanna be like “wow how do you live in Chicago”, “damn smash Chicago is cold asf why not Miami”, “wow Chicago is big cold yuck.” OKAY. DUH. NOBODY SAYING IT’S WARM LOL. But the cold got benefits. For one, it make the holidays pretty. I don’t celebrate Christmas but all the pretty lights and snowflakes bruv that make me feel like I’m in a quaint, adorable little English village. On some “Cheerio chap! Yes very good govvenah! BRIYYANT!” 😂 U feel me? Heritage. Not my heritage - but somebody heritage lol! Fireplaces. Cozy lil fires. U feel me? Seasons. Now it’s also downsides. I keep water bottles in my car and them bottles freeze. No bueno asf. But a HALF FROZE bottle is a come up! If u catch it at the right point in the freeze life cycle it develop a water PP column right up the middle that osmularicizes coldness through water you pour into the bottle it and freezes it to the optimal gym water temp. Boom. One sip and u transported to the mountains of Norway bruv. U thirsty. U been walking for days. U come upon a comely Norwegian birb with a gaggle of aggressive huskies barking at u. U like “Ok these huskies don’t like my kind lmao RIP to me it was real”. She opens her mouth and whispers: “Jeg kan se din PP-utskrift gjennom din overcoat” (“I can see your PP print through your overcoat”). And then u like “aye short blond hair on white girls is sexy ol McCaulay Culkin Justin Bieber with a fatty lookin a$$ PAUSE.” And she like “come. Drink.” And she open her shroud which is made from a single uncut bison skin and she bare nekky and she put my head against her heart and pour water into my mouth like I’m her bb and I’m like “wow Scandinavians are wild but I love it.” That’s how soothing that half frozen ice PP water bottle taste bruv. Anyway then she fall in love with me and ask me to live among her people and I’m like “Jeg er her for en god stund, ikke lenge, du vet jeg” (“I'm here for a good time not a long time, you know **I**”). And she shed a single tear and I pet the huskies and depart homeward. BOTTOM LINE THAT HALF FROZEN WATER BOTTLE IS A GYM BLESSING BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂

Now people always wanna be like “wow how do you live in Chicago”, “damn smash Chicago is cold asf why not Miami”, “wow Chicago is big cold y...

Clothes, Ironic, and Life: Why do l understand this G.O.A.T. @thatudiboy There is always that one innocent spoon in every home that you just dislike for no reason Life Tips: Making Mornings Easier If you’re anything like a normal human being, you have days where you’re just totally off. You sleep through your alarm and suddenly the whole day is thrown off. Below are some of my tips for making those off days or even just everyday a bit easier. 1. Pack everything the night before This seems like a no-brainer, I tell myself to do this often and when I don’t follow through, I wish I had. Set aside your outfit (down to the undergarments-seriously) If you workout (if you don’t-you should try to) set aside your workout clothes and shoes. You’ll have less excuses to not get started. Pack your lunch-don’t forget to fill up your water bottle Pack your work bag-backpack-purse with everything you will need to make it through the day. 2. Be prepared It only takes a bit of time to get yourself prepared for just about anything. Think about your essentials, things you wouldn’t want to be stuck without and things you always find yourself needing. You can either add these items to your daily bag or stash them in your car-desk-locker. 3. Don’t over complicate things If you know you are going to have a stressful week-plan ahead. Stick to the basics 4. Make lists Duh. Take a few minutes to get it together, list out things you’ve forgotten (groceries, errands, etc) and prioritize. It will seem much more simple when everything is laid out in front of you and not jumbled up in your brain. 5. To remember things: keep them close to you I’m horrible at taking off my makeup. I made a nasty habit of sleeping in makeup and only washing my face in the shower. To tackle this, I’ve left my makeup remover right by my toothbrush. This way when I brush my teeth at night, it’s easy to pull out a wipe and get rid of my raccoon eyes. I’ve also added night cream and Chapstick on my bedside table. Taking care of your skin is important! Lips too! 6. Set reminders Use the phone you are undoubtedly attached to. Set yourself alarms and reminders if you simply can’t be bothered to get it together. A little bit of preparation, planning and being easier on yourself can go a long way towards making every day better. billsimportantposts
Clothes, Ironic, and Life: Why do l understand this
 G.O.A.T. @thatudiboy
 There is always that one innocent spoon in
 every home that you just dislike for no
 reason
Life Tips: Making Mornings Easier If you’re anything like a normal human being, you have days where you’re just totally off. You sleep through your alarm and suddenly the whole day is thrown off. Below are some of my tips for making those off days or even just everyday a bit easier. 1. Pack everything the night before This seems like a no-brainer, I tell myself to do this often and when I don’t follow through, I wish I had. Set aside your outfit (down to the undergarments-seriously) If you workout (if you don’t-you should try to) set aside your workout clothes and shoes. You’ll have less excuses to not get started. Pack your lunch-don’t forget to fill up your water bottle Pack your work bag-backpack-purse with everything you will need to make it through the day. 2. Be prepared It only takes a bit of time to get yourself prepared for just about anything. Think about your essentials, things you wouldn’t want to be stuck without and things you always find yourself needing. You can either add these items to your daily bag or stash them in your car-desk-locker. 3. Don’t over complicate things If you know you are going to have a stressful week-plan ahead. Stick to the basics 4. Make lists Duh. Take a few minutes to get it together, list out things you’ve forgotten (groceries, errands, etc) and prioritize. It will seem much more simple when everything is laid out in front of you and not jumbled up in your brain. 5. To remember things: keep them close to you I’m horrible at taking off my makeup. I made a nasty habit of sleeping in makeup and only washing my face in the shower. To tackle this, I’ve left my makeup remover right by my toothbrush. This way when I brush my teeth at night, it’s easy to pull out a wipe and get rid of my raccoon eyes. I’ve also added night cream and Chapstick on my bedside table. Taking care of your skin is important! Lips too! 6. Set reminders Use the phone you are undoubtedly attached to. Set yourself alarms and reminders if you simply can’t be bothered to get it together. A little bit of preparation, planning and being easier on yourself can go a long way towards making every day better. billsimportantposts

Life Tips: Making Mornings Easier If you’re anything like a normal human being, you have days where you’re just totally off. You sleep throu...