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Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO DETERMINE IF YOUR DATE IS MARRIED 1Examine the left ring finger After a period of about one year, a wedding band leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that finger inadvertently, as if something is missing 2 Ask for a home phone number Most people in committed relationships spend at least one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will not give you his home phone number, then he is wor ried someone else will answer when you call 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public. If your date is interested and attracted to you, then he will not object to such a small and commonplace display of affection unless he fears that someone wil spot you together Search your date's car The automobile registration may be in the spouse's name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok- ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing, makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack- ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned. 27. bto determine if your date is married un vison glove compartment ashtray earch your date's car. The automobile registration may include the spouse's mame. 5 Ask to meet some of his friends. After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request. If your date claims that his friends remain close to his ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their social circle, you have good reason to believe that you are not the only woman in his life. Invite him to spend the night. f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa- sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he very likely has someone waiting for him 6 28. cbapter I: defensive dating novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex
Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO
 DETERMINE IF YOUR
 DATE IS MARRIED
 1Examine the left ring finger
 After a period of about one year, a wedding band
 leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the
 ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that
 finger inadvertently, as if something is missing
 2 Ask for a home phone number
 Most people in committed relationships spend at least
 one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will
 not give you his home phone number, then he is wor
 ried someone else will answer when you call
 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
 If your date is interested and attracted to you, then
 he will not object to such a small and commonplace
 display of affection unless he fears that someone wil
 spot you together
 Search your date's car
 The automobile registration may be in the spouse's
 name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove
 compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok-
 ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing,
 makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack-
 ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned.
 27. bto determine if your date is married

 un vison
 glove
 compartment
 ashtray
 earch your date's car. The automobile registration may
 include the spouse's mame.
 5
 Ask to meet some of his friends.
 After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request.
 If your date claims that his friends remain close to his
 ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their
 social circle, you have good reason to believe that you
 are not the only woman in his life.
 Invite him to spend the night.
 f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa-
 sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he
 very likely has someone waiting for him
 6
 28.
 cbapter I: defensive dating
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex

novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO DETERMINE IF YOUR DATE IS MARRIED 1Examine the left ring finger After a period of about one year, a wedding band leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that finger inadvertently, as if something is missing 2 Ask for a home phone number Most people in committed relationships spend at least one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will not give you his home phone number, then he is wor ried someone else will answer when you call 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public. If your date is interested and attracted to you, then he will not object to such a small and commonplace display of affection unless he fears that someone wil spot you together Search your date's car The automobile registration may be in the spouse's name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok- ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing, makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack- ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned. 27. bto determine if your date is married un vison glove compartment ashtray earch your date's car. The automobile registration may include the spouse's mame. 5 Ask to meet some of his friends. After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request. If your date claims that his friends remain close to his ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their social circle, you have good reason to believe that you are not the only woman in his life. Invite him to spend the night. f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa- sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he very likely has someone waiting for him 6 28. cbapter I: defensive dating novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex
Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO
 DETERMINE IF YOUR
 DATE IS MARRIED
 1Examine the left ring finger
 After a period of about one year, a wedding band
 leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the
 ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that
 finger inadvertently, as if something is missing
 2 Ask for a home phone number
 Most people in committed relationships spend at least
 one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will
 not give you his home phone number, then he is wor
 ried someone else will answer when you call
 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
 If your date is interested and attracted to you, then
 he will not object to such a small and commonplace
 display of affection unless he fears that someone wil
 spot you together
 Search your date's car
 The automobile registration may be in the spouse's
 name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove
 compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok-
 ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing,
 makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack-
 ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned.
 27. bto determine if your date is married

 un vison
 glove
 compartment
 ashtray
 earch your date's car. The automobile registration may
 include the spouse's mame.
 5
 Ask to meet some of his friends.
 After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request.
 If your date claims that his friends remain close to his
 ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their
 social circle, you have good reason to believe that you
 are not the only woman in his life.
 Invite him to spend the night.
 f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa-
 sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he
 very likely has someone waiting for him
 6
 28.
 cbapter I: defensive dating
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex

novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Beautiful, Bitch, and Boo: olivia joy @livvmaloney when I dropped everything to do some Brazilian man's English homework: all Verizon 10:00 PM _paulocaetano Today at 9:24 PM Done Hey Kitty girl I need some help Pleaseeee Yo Thank god Are u American? Yes I'm brazilian Here we have english class And i'm hang out with a cute guy I want to impress Write a message... . Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano If i impress him I can Kiss on this weekend Are you asking me how to impress him? 6) a-( ) Did / eat b-( ) Did / eaten you c-( ) Have /eaten d-( ) Have / eat a movie last Saturday 7) Mary a-( ) did watch b-( ) didn't watch C-( d-( ) didn't watched ) has watched March 8) He hasn't come here d-( ) already b-( )just 9) The cake is ready I have a-( ) already b-( ) yet prepared it { ) for d-( ) never at home last week 10) My father a-( ) has stayed have stayed d-( ) did stay to the USA last year 11) He a-( ) move b-( ) moved C-( ) has moved d-( ) did move twenty years. 12)r've lived here a-(since b-() yet c-( ) already d-( ) for O Reply Choose the correct alternative 1) Last year she a-( )did go b-( ) has gone to England on holiday c-( ) went d-( ) did went 2) I a-( ) have visited b-( ) visited a lot of interesting places yesterday C-( ) have visit d-( ) did visit 3) The students a-( ) saw b-( ) has seen a beautiful rainbow c-( ) have see d-( ) have seen 4) the man much money last night ? c-() Did / spend Write a message... . Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano 1) Last year she a-() did go b-( ) has gone to England on holiday c-( ) went d-( ) did went 2) 1 a-( ) have visited b-( ) visited a lot of interesting places yesterday c-《 ) have visit d-( ) did visit 3) The students a-( ) saw b-( ) has seen a beautiful rainbow c-f ) have see d-( ) have seen much money last night? ) Did / spend ) Has / spend the man a-( ) Did / spent b-( ) Has / spent c-( d-( some gifts for his children 5) He a-( ) has brought b-( ) has bring C-( ) brought d-f ) did bring Japanese food ? you already 6) a-( ) Did/ eat c-() Have / eatern d-( ) Have / eat Did/ eaten O Reply I need help in this shit I got u fam So u Will help me? Yes going to do it now for you One minute Thank Boo i knew New york's girls are the best one I'm from Rhode Island boo, even better Write a message... Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano I ask help for a cali chick and she block me What a bitch Yaas grl Omg grl U write U rock Write a message... livingwithdystonia: tiny-septic-box-sam: bornlucky: bonus: I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier did he do her Spanish homework!? I must know! Brazilians speak Portuguese.
Beautiful, Bitch, and Boo: olivia joy
 @livvmaloney
 when I dropped everything to do some
 Brazilian man's English homework:

 all Verizon
 10:00 PM
 _paulocaetano
 Today at 9:24 PM
 Done
 Hey Kitty girl
 I need some help
 Pleaseeee
 Yo
 Thank god
 Are u American?
 Yes
 I'm brazilian
 Here we have english class
 And i'm hang out with a cute guy
 I want to impress
 Write a message...

 . Verizon
 10:00 PM
 Done
 paulocaetano
 If i impress him
 I can Kiss on this weekend
 Are you asking me how to impress
 him?
 6)
 a-( ) Did / eat
 b-( ) Did / eaten
 you
 c-( ) Have /eaten
 d-( ) Have / eat
 a movie last Saturday
 7) Mary
 a-( ) did watch
 b-( ) didn't watch
 C-(
 d-(
 ) didn't watched
 ) has watched
 March
 8) He hasn't come here
 d-( ) already
 b-( )just
 9) The cake is ready I have
 a-( ) already
 b-( ) yet
 prepared it
 { ) for
 d-( ) never
 at home last week
 10) My father
 a-( ) has stayed
 have stayed
 d-(
 ) did stay
 to the USA last year
 11) He
 a-( ) move
 b-( ) moved
 C-( ) has moved
 d-( ) did move
 twenty years.
 12)r've lived here
 a-(since
 b-() yet
 c-( ) already
 d-( ) for
 O Reply
 Choose the correct alternative
 1) Last year she
 a-( )did go
 b-( ) has gone
 to England on holiday
 c-( ) went
 d-( ) did went
 2) I
 a-( ) have visited
 b-( ) visited
 a lot of interesting places yesterday
 C-( ) have visit
 d-( ) did visit
 3) The students
 a-( ) saw
 b-( ) has seen
 a beautiful rainbow
 c-( ) have see
 d-( ) have seen
 4)
 the man
 much money last night ?
 c-() Did / spend
 Write a message...

 . Verizon
 10:00 PM
 Done
 paulocaetano
 1) Last year she
 a-() did go
 b-( ) has gone
 to England on holiday
 c-( ) went
 d-( ) did went
 2) 1
 a-( ) have visited
 b-( ) visited
 a lot of interesting places yesterday
 c-《 ) have visit
 d-( ) did visit
 3) The students
 a-( ) saw
 b-( ) has seen
 a beautiful rainbow
 c-f ) have see
 d-( ) have seen
 much money last night?
 ) Did / spend
 ) Has / spend
 the man
 a-( ) Did / spent
 b-( ) Has / spent
 c-(
 d-(
 some gifts for his children
 5) He
 a-( ) has brought
 b-( ) has bring
 C-( ) brought
 d-f ) did bring
 Japanese food ?
 you already
 6)
 a-( ) Did/ eat
 c-() Have / eatern
 d-( ) Have / eat
 Did/ eaten
 O Reply
 I need help in this shit
 I got u fam
 So u Will help me?
 Yes going to do it now for you
 One minute
 Thank Boo i knew New york's girls
 are the best one
 I'm from Rhode Island boo, even
 better
 Write a message...

 Verizon
 10:00 PM
 Done
 paulocaetano
 I ask help for a cali chick and she
 block me
 What a bitch
 Yaas grl
 Omg grl
 U write
 U rock
 Write a message...
livingwithdystonia:

tiny-septic-box-sam:
bornlucky:

bonus:



I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier

did he do her Spanish homework!? I must know!

Brazilians speak Portuguese.

livingwithdystonia: tiny-septic-box-sam: bornlucky: bonus: I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier did he...

Fake, Food, and Fucking: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS AN ACID WITHA PH LEVEL OF7 DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE AWARENESS THAT'S A HIGHER PH LEVEL THAN ANY OTHER ACID! youngalientype: mod2amaryllis: chubby-aphrodite: darthlenaplant: nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams: bluegone: etherealastraea: dihydrogenmonoxideawareness: Why would anyone want to consume it!? I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth. We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products. My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media. Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down. I. Fucking. Love. This. This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works. may our education be stronger than fake news Amen. To those who don’t get it: “Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O. another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work yup.  that’s a higher number alright. “Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died”
Fake, Food, and Fucking: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS
 AN ACID WITHA PH LEVEL OF7
 DIHYDROGEN
 MONOXIDE
 AWARENESS
 THAT'S A HIGHER PH LEVEL
 THAN ANY OTHER ACID!
youngalientype:

mod2amaryllis:

chubby-aphrodite:

darthlenaplant:

nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams:


bluegone:


etherealastraea:

dihydrogenmonoxideawareness:

Why would anyone want to consume it!?

I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.
I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.
We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products.
My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.
Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down. 



I. Fucking. Love. This.
This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works.


may our education be stronger than fake news


Amen.

To those who don’t get it:
“Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O.

another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work
yup.  that’s a higher number alright.

“Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died”

youngalientype: mod2amaryllis: chubby-aphrodite: darthlenaplant: nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams: bluegone: etherealastraea: dihydrogenmon...