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Anaconda, Ass, and Baseball: u/Thigpenology 1d i.redd.it I met this local wet-nosed pup at the bar, his name is Smudge @DrSmashlove Playoff baseball is upon us. Now some of u ladies who grew up with brothers and-or a father (who was actually present πŸ€—) already know a thing or two about sports. Matter fact y’all know a LOT about sports, y’all be at the bars with your blond pony tail hanging out the back of your cubs snap back recalling stats like a cot damn baseball announcer lol. But some of y’all - like me (raised with sisters πŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚) - don’t know shiiiiiiiiit. Zero. Nada. And that’s completely fine! Sports are gay! (No offense to sports fans or homosexuals - I’m just saying let’s call it what it is - if u a man who spend his days admiring men in tight pants then u a lil gay! Just a lil bit πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜‚). But anyway when it come to baseball it’s one way to easily cheat and participate in any baseball discussion. As soon as a discussion about an impending baseball game come up, say one thing. Just one. U ready? β€œWho’s pitching?” Bam. BAM. Wind that boy up and let his ass go. Watch his ass talk for 45 MINUTES about the pitchers on both sides. β€œWell for the Nats it’s Strasburg - dude is INCREDIBLE - fastballs over 100 mph” etc etc until you fall asleep face down in yo burger and fries u feel me? But u let him talk. That’s all it is - talking. I go out on dates and afterward the girl be like β€œwe clicked - you’re amazing - talking to u felt so natural β˜ΊοΈβ€ and I’m thinking β€œyeah bish because I ain’t talk! You talked and I nodded! U talked enuf for both of us witchoe tawkin ass!” πŸ˜‚ But real talk just say it with me: β€œwho’s pitching?” And let him talk his sh!t. And watch him text his family the next day talmbout β€œOMG I MET A GIRL NAMED MEGAN AND SHE’S BEAUTIFUL AND SHE LOVES BASEBALL” and his sister Karen just like β€œfinally! You ex Kelly hated baseball! That b!tch!” Now y’all getting married. U feel me? U choosing bridesmaids dresses and picking appetizers for the wedding off of β€œwho’s pitching?” Warning: don’t say β€œwho’s on the mound?” That’s a little too manly baby girl u don’t want him thinking yo armpits hairy lol. β€œwho’s on the mound?” That’s like calling him β€œbro” ... like Bryson Tiller said: β€œDon’t.” Who’s pitching? Now go get married Megan bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Anaconda, Ass, and Baseball: u/Thigpenology 1d i.redd.it
 I met this local wet-nosed pup at the bar, his
 name is Smudge
 @DrSmashlove
Playoff baseball is upon us. Now some of u ladies who grew up with brothers and-or a father (who was actually present πŸ€—) already know a thing or two about sports. Matter fact y’all know a LOT about sports, y’all be at the bars with your blond pony tail hanging out the back of your cubs snap back recalling stats like a cot damn baseball announcer lol. But some of y’all - like me (raised with sisters πŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚) - don’t know shiiiiiiiiit. Zero. Nada. And that’s completely fine! Sports are gay! (No offense to sports fans or homosexuals - I’m just saying let’s call it what it is - if u a man who spend his days admiring men in tight pants then u a lil gay! Just a lil bit πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜‚). But anyway when it come to baseball it’s one way to easily cheat and participate in any baseball discussion. As soon as a discussion about an impending baseball game come up, say one thing. Just one. U ready? β€œWho’s pitching?” Bam. BAM. Wind that boy up and let his ass go. Watch his ass talk for 45 MINUTES about the pitchers on both sides. β€œWell for the Nats it’s Strasburg - dude is INCREDIBLE - fastballs over 100 mph” etc etc until you fall asleep face down in yo burger and fries u feel me? But u let him talk. That’s all it is - talking. I go out on dates and afterward the girl be like β€œwe clicked - you’re amazing - talking to u felt so natural β˜ΊοΈβ€ and I’m thinking β€œyeah bish because I ain’t talk! You talked and I nodded! U talked enuf for both of us witchoe tawkin ass!” πŸ˜‚ But real talk just say it with me: β€œwho’s pitching?” And let him talk his sh!t. And watch him text his family the next day talmbout β€œOMG I MET A GIRL NAMED MEGAN AND SHE’S BEAUTIFUL AND SHE LOVES BASEBALL” and his sister Karen just like β€œfinally! You ex Kelly hated baseball! That b!tch!” Now y’all getting married. U feel me? U choosing bridesmaids dresses and picking appetizers for the wedding off of β€œwho’s pitching?” Warning: don’t say β€œwho’s on the mound?” That’s a little too manly baby girl u don’t want him thinking yo armpits hairy lol. β€œwho’s on the mound?” That’s like calling him β€œbro” ... like Bryson Tiller said: β€œDon’t.” Who’s pitching? Now go get married Megan bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Playoff baseball is upon us. Now some of u ladies who grew up with brothers and-or a father (who was actually present πŸ€—) already know a thin...