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Camp Counselor: tumblr Follow bitchhpunk debrides I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (say bye bus!) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher mom when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people my lord" mugsandpugs1 One time during family prayer, dad began: "our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you? thomrainierskies One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?) asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem? She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing mirab3lle Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then just sighed Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered please open your books to page eight", and we just kind of stared at each other blinking i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say "$2.60 is your total while handing back their change, or say "how are you doing today?" instead of "have a good day! like name it ive bungled it but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: 'few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both as i handed her the bag i was trying to say thanks, youre all set and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said she blinked and then said "oh thank youl youre important tool the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was "at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined youre welcome and 'no problem into youre a problem" one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, This is why we use our walking feet. we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i should've done that." gin-and-eschatonic I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like "behind and "coming around" as I maneuver through spaces and around people which, actually not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex narwhalsarefalling i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something sugar4ndroses I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin only to realise it was external and a board member on the line The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh I have worked in a variety of café/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them. One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? Source debrides 438,007 notes Brain glitch stories
Camp Counselor: tumblr
 Follow
 bitchhpunk
 debrides
 I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I
 accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (say bye
 bus!) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it
 I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher mom
 when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call
 people my lord"
 mugsandpugs1
 One time during family prayer, dad began: "our father who art in heaven,
 American Airlines, how can I help you?
 thomrainierskies
 One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was
 supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?)
 asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem?
 She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing
 mirab3lle
 Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then
 just sighed
 Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered
 please open your books to page eight", and we just kind of stared at each other
 blinking
 i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same
 question twice, or say "$2.60 is your total while handing back their change, or
 say "how are you doing today?" instead of "have a good day! like name it ive
 bungled it
 but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the
 front said: 'few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book
 manages to be both
 as i handed her the bag i was trying to say thanks, youre all set and instead my
 brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important
 there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said
 she blinked and then said "oh thank youl youre important tool
 the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his
 response was "at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally
 combined youre welcome and 'no problem into youre a problem"
 one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on
 my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room
 and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared
 and said, This is why we use our walking feet.
 we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i
 should've done that."
 gin-and-eschatonic
 I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say
 shit like "behind and "coming around" as I maneuver through spaces and
 around people
 which, actually not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can
 come across as
 imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help
 avoid collisions
 Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a
 knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining
 I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my
 Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks,
 Alex
 narwhalsarefalling
 i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my
 legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat
 if he needed something
 sugar4ndroses
 I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go?
 only-in-movies
 Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to
 picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a
 different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have
 usurped admin only to realise it was external and a board member on the line
 The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh
 I have worked in a variety of café/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job
 people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them.
 One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the
 dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog
 for here or to go?
 Source debrides
 438,007 notes
Brain glitch stories

Brain glitch stories

Camp Counselor: tumblr Follow bitchhpunk debrides I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object(say bye bus) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it autisticcole I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher 'mom when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people my lord One time during family prayer, dad began: our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you? One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?) asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem? She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing. Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then just sighed Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered please open your books to page eight, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy -ill ask the same question twice, or say $2.60 is your total" while handing back their change, or say "how are you doing today?" instead of have a good day! like name it ive bungled it but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: Tew books are well wntten, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both as i handed her the bag i was trying to say "thanks, youre all set and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said oh thank you! youre important too! the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was "at least you said something NICE last week i accidentally combined youre welcome' and 'no problem' into 'youre a problem agrestenoir one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, This is why we use our walking feet we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i should ve done that. I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexivey say shit like behind" and coming around as I maneuver through spaces and around people. Which, actually, not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can come across as mposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions. Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks Alex i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat t he needed something I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin" only to realise it was external and a board member on the line. The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh. I have worked in a variety of caté/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them. One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? only-in-movies Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have usurped admin" only to realise it was external and a board member on the line. The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh I have worked in a variety of caté/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog for here or to go? Source debrides 438,007 notes Sometimes your brain just glitches
Camp Counselor: tumblr
 Follow
 bitchhpunk
 debrides
 I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I
 accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object(say bye
 bus) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it
 autisticcole
 I'm glad there's a teacher version of accidentally called teacher 'mom
 when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call
 people my lord
 One time during family prayer, dad began: our father who art in heaven,
 American Airlines, how can I help you?
 One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was
 supposed to say Welcome to White Castle, what's your crave?)
 asked, "Welcome to White Castle, what's your problem?
 She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
 Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said "Welcome to McDonalds" and then
 just sighed
 Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered
 please open your books to page eight, and we just kind of stared at each other,
 blinking
 work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy -ill ask the same
 question twice, or say $2.60 is your total" while handing back their change, or
 say "how are you doing today?" instead of have a good day! like name it ive
 bungled it
 but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the
 front said: Tew books are well wntten, fewer still are important, and this book
 manages to be both
 as i handed her the bag i was trying to say "thanks, youre all set and instead my
 brain mashed up the review and i said thanks, youre important
 there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said.
 she blinked and then said oh thank you! youre important too!
 the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his
 response was "at least you said something NICE last week i accidentally
 combined youre welcome' and 'no problem' into 'youre a problem
 agrestenoir
 one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on
 my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room
 and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared
 and said, This is why we use our walking feet
 we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, yeah, okay, i
 should ve done that.
 I've spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexivey say
 shit like behind" and coming around as I maneuver through spaces and
 around people.
 Which, actually, not such a bad thing. I'm a big guy and can come across as
 mposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help
 avoid collisions.
 Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a coming with a
 knife" while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining
 I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my
 Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks
 Alex
 i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my
 legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat
 t he needed something
 I have woken up in a cold sweat saying is that for here or to go?
 only-in-movies
 Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to
 picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a
 different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have
 usurped admin" only to realise it was external and a board member on the line.
 The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh.
 I have worked in a variety of caté/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job
 people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them.
 One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the
 dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog
 for here or to go?
 only-in-movies
 Conversely, in my old job I rarely answered outside calls so was only used to
 picking up to colleagues in random ways. So one day while fixing something at a
 different desk I answered what I thought was an internal call with "how do, I have
 usurped admin" only to realise it was external and a board member on the line.
 The CEO banned me from the phones while trying not to laugh
 I have worked in a variety of caté/restaurant jobs, and in my most recent cafe job
 people were allowed to bring their leashed dogs through the line with them
 One day someone came through the line with an adorable pup, and when the
 dog looked up at me as I was checking them out, I said "would you like that dog
 for here or to go?
 Source debrides
 438,007 notes
Sometimes your brain just glitches

Sometimes your brain just glitches

Camp Counselor: this dog is half corgi half golden retriever @Drsmashlove Bruh lemme holla at y'all. Relationships take work. Above all u gotta understand the needs of the person u with. Everybody needs is different. Maybe yo girl love traveling. If that's what float her boat bruh u can't spend every holiday on the couch smoking weed eating Taco Bell. U gotta put them nacho supremes down and plan some shit. Go online and get a hotel at Trivago. Lil road trip. Keep it simple. Anything. But one thing u can't do it's not respond to the concern because u comfortable in your current situation. I mean, u can, but best believe Aaron the friendly young man who live one floor up who was a Jewish day camp counselor all thru college and follow baseball a little too much and work as a analyst at a boutique bank gonna merge and acquire your girl in a hot second while u shooting 13 year old Tyler from Wichita who flagrantly use the N-word too much on the video game screen. And Aaron's PowerPoint game might exceed his pipe game but he got that bed-and-breakfast game on lock. Type of nerdy lover boy to plan an entire trip on Microsoft Excel with departure and arrival times down to the minute, taking into account different time zones and daylight savings. He even request the type of pillow she like when he check into the Westin. U feel me? And yo girl gon date Aaron and she gon come back and let u pipe exactly one (1) more time before she Kaiser Sozay limp-walk out of yo life forever. U feel me? Just to remind u that u fucked up. And u gon shed a single tear into your gordita like "damn. I fucked up." Yes u did, bruh. Yes u did. Also, stop eating Taco Bell that shit disgusting and it's clouding your judgment. It's new taco places out. Where real Mexicans make the tacos, or enthusiastic hipster white people who traveled extensively along the Mexican coast to learn the art of the fish taco. U feel me? Just like blow jobs have progressed so have tacos. Stop living in 2003. Aight? Bless up 😍😂😂😂
Camp Counselor: this dog is half corgi half golden retriever
 @Drsmashlove
Bruh lemme holla at y'all. Relationships take work. Above all u gotta understand the needs of the person u with. Everybody needs is different. Maybe yo girl love traveling. If that's what float her boat bruh u can't spend every holiday on the couch smoking weed eating Taco Bell. U gotta put them nacho supremes down and plan some shit. Go online and get a hotel at Trivago. Lil road trip. Keep it simple. Anything. But one thing u can't do it's not respond to the concern because u comfortable in your current situation. I mean, u can, but best believe Aaron the friendly young man who live one floor up who was a Jewish day camp counselor all thru college and follow baseball a little too much and work as a analyst at a boutique bank gonna merge and acquire your girl in a hot second while u shooting 13 year old Tyler from Wichita who flagrantly use the N-word too much on the video game screen. And Aaron's PowerPoint game might exceed his pipe game but he got that bed-and-breakfast game on lock. Type of nerdy lover boy to plan an entire trip on Microsoft Excel with departure and arrival times down to the minute, taking into account different time zones and daylight savings. He even request the type of pillow she like when he check into the Westin. U feel me? And yo girl gon date Aaron and she gon come back and let u pipe exactly one (1) more time before she Kaiser Sozay limp-walk out of yo life forever. U feel me? Just to remind u that u fucked up. And u gon shed a single tear into your gordita like "damn. I fucked up." Yes u did, bruh. Yes u did. Also, stop eating Taco Bell that shit disgusting and it's clouding your judgment. It's new taco places out. Where real Mexicans make the tacos, or enthusiastic hipster white people who traveled extensively along the Mexican coast to learn the art of the fish taco. U feel me? Just like blow jobs have progressed so have tacos. Stop living in 2003. Aight? Bless up 😍😂😂😂

Bruh lemme holla at y'all. Relationships take work. Above all u gotta understand the needs of the person u with. Everybody needs is diffe...

Camp Counselor: I work as a camp counselor, and this made me feel old while running the rope swing..http://advice-animal.tumblr.com/
Camp Counselor: I work as a camp counselor, and this made me feel old while running the rope swing..http://advice-animal.tumblr.com/

I work as a camp counselor, and this made me feel old while running the rope swing..http://advice-animal.tumblr.com/

Camp Counselor: Uber Humor There's always money in the banana stand omg-pictures: My cousin’s wedding. She met him at a cheerleading camp where he was a camp counselor.http://omg-pictures.tumblr.com
Camp Counselor: Uber Humor
 There's always money in the banana stand
omg-pictures:

My cousin’s wedding. She met him at a cheerleading camp where he was a camp counselor.http://omg-pictures.tumblr.com

omg-pictures: My cousin’s wedding. She met him at a cheerleading camp where he was a camp counselor.http://omg-pictures.tumblr.com