πŸ”₯ | Latest

Android, Bad, and Chill: When you tell your boyfriend a joke and the girl under his bed starts laughing too Never forget your girls favorite color. I can’t explain why dudes cheat but answer this, if you got money in your wallet and you find another dollar, are you not going to pick it up? Long story short my girl was out of town at her friends graduation. She left me a spear key to come feed her dog through out the week. I did the opposite, I treated him like Gary the snail. I had my side girl over bout to get busy. You know that deep gut feeling that tells you β€œight chill out” but you ignore it? That be God mercy tryna save you. I’m catching some bomb neck, I’m talking about My meat going through a 5 star car wash when I hear a engine pull up out front. I look out the window and see my girl hop out a Uber. My side girl hid under the bed. I can tell She done this before. I slid under the sheets and fake sleep. My girl comes in talking about she changed her flight to come home sooner. Android users text take 3 business days. Babe starts asking me what’s her favorite color. I confidently blurted our magenta. Here comes her dog with a red thong in his mouth. Damn dogs can’t stick together? The FBI agent in her came out and starts interrogating me. Under her sheets I’m getting my dick rode by bed bugs during the interrogation process. Im tryna figure how to get this girl out this crib before I’m toast. My girl mid way through her sentence when you hear a sneeze under her bed. Within seconds my girl downloaded a heart beat sensor. I swear Android users got it good. This is now modern warfare. I watch my girl play search&destroy with my side chick. Side chicks heartless so she couldn’t detect her. Me being the real nigga I am had to flip the whole situation on her. β€œI don’t like how you assume me as a black man cheat, if you don’t trust me Idk about this” Tears in my eyes because it smelled like fish cakes and my eyes couldn’t take it. My girl felt bad and hit me with the double hand twist Gawk combo. My girl said she was coming back Sunday and came back Friday. She lied to me. I can’t date liars fam. I broke up with her. I’m single and my side girl still live under my ex bed. She text me from time to time for help. Shoulda had a escape rope.
Android, Bad, and Chill: When you tell your boyfriend a joke
 and the girl under his bed starts
 laughing too
Never forget your girls favorite color. I can’t explain why dudes cheat but answer this, if you got money in your wallet and you find another dollar, are you not going to pick it up? Long story short my girl was out of town at her friends graduation. She left me a spear key to come feed her dog through out the week. I did the opposite, I treated him like Gary the snail. I had my side girl over bout to get busy. You know that deep gut feeling that tells you β€œight chill out” but you ignore it? That be God mercy tryna save you. I’m catching some bomb neck, I’m talking about My meat going through a 5 star car wash when I hear a engine pull up out front. I look out the window and see my girl hop out a Uber. My side girl hid under the bed. I can tell She done this before. I slid under the sheets and fake sleep. My girl comes in talking about she changed her flight to come home sooner. Android users text take 3 business days. Babe starts asking me what’s her favorite color. I confidently blurted our magenta. Here comes her dog with a red thong in his mouth. Damn dogs can’t stick together? The FBI agent in her came out and starts interrogating me. Under her sheets I’m getting my dick rode by bed bugs during the interrogation process. Im tryna figure how to get this girl out this crib before I’m toast. My girl mid way through her sentence when you hear a sneeze under her bed. Within seconds my girl downloaded a heart beat sensor. I swear Android users got it good. This is now modern warfare. I watch my girl play search&destroy with my side chick. Side chicks heartless so she couldn’t detect her. Me being the real nigga I am had to flip the whole situation on her. β€œI don’t like how you assume me as a black man cheat, if you don’t trust me Idk about this” Tears in my eyes because it smelled like fish cakes and my eyes couldn’t take it. My girl felt bad and hit me with the double hand twist Gawk combo. My girl said she was coming back Sunday and came back Friday. She lied to me. I can’t date liars fam. I broke up with her. I’m single and my side girl still live under my ex bed. She text me from time to time for help. Shoulda had a escape rope.

Never forget your girls favorite color. I can’t explain why dudes cheat but answer this, if you got money in your wallet and you find anothe...

Alive, Clothes, and Complex: NEVER JUDGE StandUP911 VACUUM "This young man approached me and asked me to buy him a gallon of milk. My first thought was to say no but as I was paying for my gas I grabbed the milk. Outside was his girlfriend holding a box of cereal. He thanked me and I started to walk to my car. Something in me made me turn around. I told them I was about to get a car wash but if he wanted to wash it for me I’d pay him $20. We went to the nearest car wash and he had tears in his eyes after I paid him! He told me that more than anything he appreciated me giving him the opportunity to be a man again in the eyes of his girlfriend and work for the money. The whole time his girlfriend helped him. It’s like she was proud of him. You could tell the love was so real. Real beyond material things and what he could do for her. She told him he did a great job and he couldn’t stop smiling. I had a long talk with him and her and he had a backpack full of paperwork from all of the places he’s been going to get help for them. I drove them to my apartment complex and gave him clothes for interviews and a few outfits and fitted caps. I don’t have much but life is about sharing what you do have. Be a blessing to someone today because you could be in that situation before you know it! I gave them my number and I plan to take them to any interviews or appointments they have. It’s a great day to be alive no matter what your situation is. Someone has it worse than you! Share this message and inspire others to do good.” standup911 bethechange
Alive, Clothes, and Complex: NEVER JUDGE
 StandUP911
 VACUUM
"This young man approached me and asked me to buy him a gallon of milk. My first thought was to say no but as I was paying for my gas I grabbed the milk. Outside was his girlfriend holding a box of cereal. He thanked me and I started to walk to my car. Something in me made me turn around. I told them I was about to get a car wash but if he wanted to wash it for me I’d pay him $20. We went to the nearest car wash and he had tears in his eyes after I paid him! He told me that more than anything he appreciated me giving him the opportunity to be a man again in the eyes of his girlfriend and work for the money. The whole time his girlfriend helped him. It’s like she was proud of him. You could tell the love was so real. Real beyond material things and what he could do for her. She told him he did a great job and he couldn’t stop smiling. I had a long talk with him and her and he had a backpack full of paperwork from all of the places he’s been going to get help for them. I drove them to my apartment complex and gave him clothes for interviews and a few outfits and fitted caps. I don’t have much but life is about sharing what you do have. Be a blessing to someone today because you could be in that situation before you know it! I gave them my number and I plan to take them to any interviews or appointments they have. It’s a great day to be alive no matter what your situation is. Someone has it worse than you! Share this message and inspire others to do good.” standup911 bethechange

"This young man approached me and asked me to buy him a gallon of milk. My first thought was to say no but as I was paying for my gas I grab...