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Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous Shrimp saved my life 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016 >be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool they start inviting me to their social events start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you Anon has a shrimp
Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous
 Shrimp saved my life
 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016
 >be depressed, suicidal xanax-
 addicted incel
 >one day I go to my /aq/fag
 uncle's house for some shit
 >he has pet shrimp, never seen
 anything like it before
 he offers to get me some
 53 KB JPG
 throw them in a barely cycled tank with some
 shitty rock
 >several shrimp die
 realize that I killed them with my apathy
 >realize I need to take responsibility for once in
 my life
 >do research, learn about water parameters and
 so on
 eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no
 more deaths
 >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs
 >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost
 a decade
 the eggs disappear and I once again think I
 fucked up
 a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby
 shrimp
 l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they
 gazed upon the newborn Christ
 >by this point I live and breathe shrimp
 >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research
 and watching shrimp videos
 >l spend most of the money I had saved from my
 last job on shrimp products
 >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending
 start putting effort into college in hope of getting
 a good job for my shrimp
 >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of
 dropping out
 relationship with parents improves since I am
 finally passionate about something and applying
 myself
 >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk
 excitedly about my shrimp
 for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp
 cake
 it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs
 cry like a little bitch when I see it
 >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been
 proud of me
 >college dorm neighbours demand to see my
 shrimp
 >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic
 sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool
 they start inviting me to their social events
 start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the
 first time in my life that I'm fun and smart
 >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they
 knew
 We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it
 for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on
 you
Anon has a shrimp

Anon has a shrimp

Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous Shrimp saved my life 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016 >be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool they start inviting me to their social events start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you browsedankmemes: Wholesome shrimp via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2BAEpHh
Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous
 Shrimp saved my life
 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016
 >be depressed, suicidal xanax-
 addicted incel
 >one day I go to my /aq/fag
 uncle's house for some shit
 >he has pet shrimp, never seen
 anything like it before
 he offers to get me some
 53 KB JPG
 throw them in a barely cycled tank with some
 shitty rock
 >several shrimp die
 realize that I killed them with my apathy
 >realize I need to take responsibility for once in
 my life
 >do research, learn about water parameters and
 so on
 eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no
 more deaths
 >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs
 >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost
 a decade
 the eggs disappear and I once again think I
 fucked up
 a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby
 shrimp
 l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they
 gazed upon the newborn Christ
 >by this point I live and breathe shrimp
 >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research
 and watching shrimp videos
 >l spend most of the money I had saved from my
 last job on shrimp products
 >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending
 start putting effort into college in hope of getting
 a good job for my shrimp
 >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of
 dropping out
 relationship with parents improves since I am
 finally passionate about something and applying
 myself
 >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk
 excitedly about my shrimp
 for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp
 cake
 it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs
 cry like a little bitch when I see it
 >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been
 proud of me
 >college dorm neighbours demand to see my
 shrimp
 >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic
 sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool
 they start inviting me to their social events
 start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the
 first time in my life that I'm fun and smart
 >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they
 knew
 We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it
 for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on
 you
browsedankmemes:

Wholesome shrimp via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2BAEpHh

browsedankmemes: Wholesome shrimp via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2BAEpHh

Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous Shrimp saved my life 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016 >be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool they start inviting me to their social events start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you Wholesome shrimp
Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous
 Shrimp saved my life
 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016
 >be depressed, suicidal xanax-
 addicted incel
 >one day I go to my /aq/fag
 uncle's house for some shit
 >he has pet shrimp, never seen
 anything like it before
 he offers to get me some
 53 KB JPG
 throw them in a barely cycled tank with some
 shitty rock
 >several shrimp die
 realize that I killed them with my apathy
 >realize I need to take responsibility for once in
 my life
 >do research, learn about water parameters and
 so on
 eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no
 more deaths
 >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs
 >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost
 a decade
 the eggs disappear and I once again think I
 fucked up
 a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby
 shrimp
 l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they
 gazed upon the newborn Christ
 >by this point I live and breathe shrimp
 >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research
 and watching shrimp videos
 >l spend most of the money I had saved from my
 last job on shrimp products
 >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending
 start putting effort into college in hope of getting
 a good job for my shrimp
 >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of
 dropping out
 relationship with parents improves since I am
 finally passionate about something and applying
 myself
 >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk
 excitedly about my shrimp
 for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp
 cake
 it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs
 cry like a little bitch when I see it
 >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been
 proud of me
 >college dorm neighbours demand to see my
 shrimp
 >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic
 sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool
 they start inviting me to their social events
 start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the
 first time in my life that I'm fun and smart
 >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they
 knew
 We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it
 for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on
 you
Wholesome shrimp

Wholesome shrimp

Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous Shrimp saved my life 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016 >be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool they start inviting me to their social events start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you Wholesome shrimp via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2BAEpHh
Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous
 Shrimp saved my life
 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016
 >be depressed, suicidal xanax-
 addicted incel
 >one day I go to my /aq/fag
 uncle's house for some shit
 >he has pet shrimp, never seen
 anything like it before
 he offers to get me some
 53 KB JPG
 throw them in a barely cycled tank with some
 shitty rock
 >several shrimp die
 realize that I killed them with my apathy
 >realize I need to take responsibility for once in
 my life
 >do research, learn about water parameters and
 so on
 eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no
 more deaths
 >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs
 >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost
 a decade
 the eggs disappear and I once again think I
 fucked up
 a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby
 shrimp
 l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they
 gazed upon the newborn Christ
 >by this point I live and breathe shrimp
 >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research
 and watching shrimp videos
 >l spend most of the money I had saved from my
 last job on shrimp products
 >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending
 start putting effort into college in hope of getting
 a good job for my shrimp
 >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of
 dropping out
 relationship with parents improves since I am
 finally passionate about something and applying
 myself
 >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk
 excitedly about my shrimp
 for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp
 cake
 it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs
 cry like a little bitch when I see it
 >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been
 proud of me
 >college dorm neighbours demand to see my
 shrimp
 >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic
 sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool
 they start inviting me to their social events
 start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the
 first time in my life that I'm fun and smart
 >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they
 knew
 We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it
 for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on
 you
Wholesome shrimp via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2BAEpHh

Wholesome shrimp via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2BAEpHh

Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous Shrimp saved my life 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016 >be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool they start inviting me to their social events start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you Green text is nice sometimes. Sometimes
Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous
 Shrimp saved my life
 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016
 >be depressed, suicidal xanax-
 addicted incel
 >one day I go to my /aq/fag
 uncle's house for some shit
 >he has pet shrimp, never seen
 anything like it before
 he offers to get me some
 53 KB JPG
 throw them in a barely cycled tank with some
 shitty rock
 >several shrimp die
 realize that I killed them with my apathy
 >realize I need to take responsibility for once in
 my life
 >do research, learn about water parameters and
 so on
 eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no
 more deaths
 >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs
 >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost
 a decade
 the eggs disappear and I once again think I
 fucked up
 a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby
 shrimp
 l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they
 gazed upon the newborn Christ
 >by this point I live and breathe shrimp
 >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research
 and watching shrimp videos
 >l spend most of the money I had saved from my
 last job on shrimp products
 >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending
 start putting effort into college in hope of getting
 a good job for my shrimp
 >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of
 dropping out
 relationship with parents improves since I am
 finally passionate about something and applying
 myself
 >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk
 excitedly about my shrimp
 for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp
 cake
 it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs
 cry like a little bitch when I see it
 >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been
 proud of me
 >college dorm neighbours demand to see my
 shrimp
 >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic
 sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool
 they start inviting me to their social events
 start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the
 first time in my life that I'm fun and smart
 >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they
 knew
 We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it
 for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on
 you
Green text is nice sometimes. Sometimes

Green text is nice sometimes. Sometimes

Animals, Bailey Jay, and Community: gluklixhe: ironbite4: fluffmugger: crazythingsfromhistory: archaeologistforhire: thegirlthewolfate: theopensea: kiwianaroha: pearlsnapbutton: desiremyblack: smileforthehigh: unexplained-events: Researchers have used Easter Island Moai replicas to show how they might have been “walked” to where they are displayed. VIDEO Finally. People need to realize aliens aren’t the answer for everything (when they use it to erase poc civilizations and how smart they were) (via TumbleOn) What’s really wild is that the native people literally told the Europeans “they walked” when asked how the statues were moved. The Europeans were like “lol these backwards heathens and their fairy tales guess it’s gonna always be a mystery!” Maori told Europeans that kiore were native rats and no one believed them until DNA tests proved it And the Iroquois told Europeans that squirels showed them how to tap maple syrup and no one believed them until they caught it on video Oral history from various First Nations tribes in the Pacific Northwest contained stories about a massive earthquake/tsunami hitting the coast, but no one listened to them until scientists discovered physical evidence of quakes from the Cascadia fault line. Roopkund Lake AKA “Skeleton Lake” in the Himalayas in India is eerie because it was discovered with hundreds of skeletal remains and for the life of them researchers couldn’t figure out what it was that killed them. For decades the “mystery” went unsolved. Until they finally payed closer attention to local songs and legend that all essentially said “Yah the Goddess Nanda Devi got mad and sent huge heave stones down to kill them”. That was consistent with huge contusions found all on their neck and shoulders and the weather patterns of the area, which are prone to huge inevitably deadly goddamn hailstones. https://www.facebook.com/atlasobscura/videos/10154065247212728/ Literally these legends were past down for over a thousand years and it still took researched 50 to “figure out” the “mystery”. 🙄 Adding to this, the Inuit communities in Nunavut KNEW where both the wrecks of the HMS Erebus and HMS Terror were literally the entire time but Europeans/white people didn’t even bother consulting them about either ship until like…last year.  “Inuit traditional knowledge was critical to the discovery of both ships, she pointed out, offering the Canadian government a powerful demonstration of what can be achieved when Inuit voices are included in the process. In contrast, the tragic fate of the 129 men on the Franklin expedition hints at the high cost of marginalising those who best know the area and its history. “If Inuit had been consulted 200 years ago and asked for their traditional knowledge – this is our backyard – those two wrecks would have been found, lives would have been saved. I’m confident of that,” she said. “But they believed their civilization was superior and that was their undoing.” https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/sep/16/inuit-canada-britain-shipwreck-hms-terror-nunavut “Oh yeah, I heard a lot of stories about Terror, the ships, but I guess Parks Canada don’t listen to people,” Kogvik said. “They just ignore Inuit stories about the Terror ship.” Schimnowski said the crew had also heard stories about people on the land seeing the silhouette of a masted ship at sunset. “The community knew about this for many, many years. It’s hard for people to stop and actually listen … especially people from the South.”  http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/north/sammy-kogvik-hms-terror-franklin-1.3763653 Indigenous Australians have had stories about giant kangaroos and wombats for thousands of years, and European settlers just kinda assumed they were myths. Cut to more recently when evidence of megafauna was discovered, giant versions of Australian animals that died out 41 000 years ago. Similarly, scientists have been stumped about how native Palm trees got to a valley in the middle of Australia, and it wasn’t until a few years ago that someone did DNA testing and concluded that seeds had been carried there from the north around 30 000 years ago… aaand someone pointed out that Indigenous people have had stories about gods from the north carrying the seeds to a valley in the central desert. oh man let me tell you about Indigenous Australian myths - the framework they use (with multi-generational checking that’s unique on the planet, meaning there’s no drifting or mutation of the story, seriously they are hardcore about maintaining integrity) means that we literally have multiple first-hand accounts of life and the ecosystem before the end of the last ice age it’s literally the oldest accurate oral history of the world.   Now consider this: most people consider the start of recorded history to be with  the Sumerians and the Early Dynastic period of the Egyptians.  So around 3500 BCE, or five and a half thousand years agoThese highly accurate Aboriginal oral histories originate from twenty thousand years ago at least Ain’t it amazing what white people consider history and what they don’t? I always said disservice is done to oral traditions and myth when you take them literally. Ancient people were not stupid.
Animals, Bailey Jay, and Community: gluklixhe:

ironbite4:

fluffmugger:

crazythingsfromhistory:

archaeologistforhire:

thegirlthewolfate:

theopensea:

kiwianaroha:

pearlsnapbutton:

desiremyblack:

smileforthehigh:

unexplained-events:

Researchers have used Easter Island Moai replicas to show how they might have been “walked” to where they are displayed.
VIDEO

Finally. People need to realize aliens aren’t the answer for everything (when they use it to erase poc civilizations and how smart they were)

(via TumbleOn)

What’s really wild is that the native people literally told the Europeans “they walked” when asked how the statues were moved. The Europeans were like “lol these backwards heathens and their fairy tales guess it’s gonna always be a mystery!”


Maori told Europeans that kiore were native rats and no one believed them until DNA tests proved it
And the Iroquois told Europeans that squirels showed them how to tap maple syrup and no one believed them until they caught it on video

Oral history from various First Nations tribes in the Pacific Northwest contained stories about a massive earthquake/tsunami hitting the coast, but no one listened to them until scientists discovered physical evidence of quakes from the Cascadia fault line.

Roopkund Lake AKA “Skeleton Lake” in the Himalayas in India is eerie because it was discovered with hundreds of skeletal remains and for the life of them researchers couldn’t figure out what it was that killed them. For decades the “mystery” went unsolved.
Until they finally payed closer attention to local songs and legend that all essentially said “Yah the Goddess Nanda Devi got mad and sent huge heave stones down to kill them”. That was consistent with huge contusions found all on their neck and shoulders and the weather patterns of the area, which are prone to huge  inevitably deadly goddamn hailstones. https://www.facebook.com/atlasobscura/videos/10154065247212728/
Literally these legends were past down for over a thousand years and it still took researched 50 to “figure out” the “mystery”. 🙄

Adding to this, the Inuit communities in Nunavut KNEW where both the wrecks of the HMS Erebus and HMS Terror were literally the entire time but Europeans/white people didn’t even bother consulting them about either ship until like…last year. 
“Inuit traditional knowledge was critical to the discovery of both ships, she pointed out, offering the Canadian government a powerful demonstration of what can be achieved when Inuit voices are included in the process.
In contrast, the tragic fate of the 129 men on the Franklin expedition hints at the high cost of marginalising those who best know the area and its history.
“If Inuit had been consulted 200 years ago and asked for their traditional knowledge – this is our backyard – those two wrecks would have been found, lives would have been saved. I’m confident of that,” she said. “But they believed their civilization was superior and that was their undoing.”
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/sep/16/inuit-canada-britain-shipwreck-hms-terror-nunavut
“Oh yeah, I heard a lot of stories about Terror, the ships, but I guess Parks Canada don’t listen to people,” Kogvik said. “They just ignore Inuit stories about the Terror ship.”
Schimnowski said the crew had also heard stories about people on the land seeing the silhouette of a masted ship at sunset.
“The community knew about this for many, many years. It’s hard for people to stop and actually listen … especially people from the South.”
 http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/north/sammy-kogvik-hms-terror-franklin-1.3763653

Indigenous Australians have had stories about giant kangaroos and wombats for thousands of years, and European settlers just kinda assumed they were myths. Cut to more recently when evidence of megafauna was discovered, giant versions of Australian animals that died out 41 000 years ago.
Similarly, scientists have been stumped about how native Palm trees got to a valley in the middle of Australia, and it wasn’t until a few years ago that someone did DNA testing and concluded that seeds had been carried there from the north around 30 000 years ago… aaand someone pointed out that Indigenous people have had stories about gods from the north carrying the seeds to a valley in the central desert.

oh man let me tell you about Indigenous Australian myths - the framework they use (with multi-generational checking that’s unique on the planet, meaning there’s no drifting or mutation of the story, seriously they are hardcore about maintaining integrity) means that we literally have multiple first-hand accounts of life and the ecosystem before the end of the last ice age
it’s literally the oldest accurate oral history of the world.  
Now consider this: most people consider the start of recorded history to be with  the Sumerians and the Early Dynastic period of the Egyptians.  So around 3500 BCE, or five and a half thousand years agoThese highly accurate Aboriginal oral histories originate from twenty thousand years ago at least

Ain’t it amazing what white people consider history and what they don’t?


I always said disservice is done to oral traditions and myth when you take them literally. Ancient people were not stupid.

gluklixhe: ironbite4: fluffmugger: crazythingsfromhistory: archaeologistforhire: thegirlthewolfate: theopensea: kiwianaroha: pearlsn...