choke


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

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    Ass, Beautiful, and Booty: First night at home from the shelter.
 Reddit u/towntown1337
 @DrSmashlove
People ask me โ€œaye smash whatโ€™s your type? What do u like in a girl?โ€ Simple - I ainโ€™t got no type. Anyone who says I do is lyin ๐Ÿฆ. I mean obviously from the captions u can see that there are things I like (skretch marks...above the booty dimples...thunderous thighs ๐Ÿคค lemme stop before I get hot and bothered.) But that donโ€™t mean I donโ€™t like thin women. I love them too. Equally. Girl if u donโ€™t bring ya bony lil sensual grasshopper lookin a$$ and sit on this lap ol stick figure a$$ lmao wyd tho hangman lookin a$$ u cute tho lol handful of toothpicks with good hair lookin a$$ baby stop crying Iโ€™m playin with u why u gotta punch me ol legend of the slenderman lookin a$$ baby...baby why u choking me...baby? I kinda like this keep going HAHAHAHA LEMME STOP. Anyway like I said I ainโ€™t got no type. Thicky thicc or slenderwomanous u all splendiferous. And thatโ€™s how I feel about doggies. I ainโ€™t got no type. I understand people like different things. I donโ€™t even blame people who go to breeders like I got close friends thatโ€™s done it and Iโ€™m not about to lecture anybody - they want a certain retriever or husky good for them. I donโ€™t like puppy mills in my heart but I donโ€™t judge. But as for me bruv a ratty lil mix breed rescue dog with a high pitch bark that sound like a child aggressively coughing? With them lil ass legs that allow him or her to run 700 miles per hour bruv? I love a crazy lil rescue mutt bruv he beautiful to me. But most important YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL FOR ADOPTING HIM OR HER - U A HERO. NOT A SMALL HERO BUT A BIG HERO - BLESS U - U WONDERFUL ๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธ [Editorโ€™s Note: The reference to choking was made in jest and was merely intended to create literary interest. The author is from the hood. Consequently, I have built-in danger sensors. Wrap your hands around my throat and squeeze and u gon catcheth this fade. It be the petite lil joints that always wanna scrap too - donโ€™t none of u lil grasshoppers DM me like โ€œlet me choke u zaddy โ˜บ๏ธโ€ Imma leave u on โ€˜Seentโ€™ ON PRINCIPLE. BLESS YA TINY LIL A$$ UP ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚]
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Ass, Beautiful, and Booty: First night at home from the shelter.
 Reddit u/towntown1337
 @DrSmashlove
People ask me โ€œaye smash whatโ€™s your type? What do u like in a girl?โ€ Simple - I ainโ€™t got no type. Anyone who says I do is lyin ๐Ÿฆ. I mean obviously from the captions u can see that there are things I like (skretch marks...above the booty dimples...thunderous thighs ๐Ÿคค lemme stop before I get hot and bothered.) But that donโ€™t mean I donโ€™t like thin women. I love them too. Equally. Girl if u donโ€™t bring ya bony lil sensual grasshopper lookin a$$ and sit on this lap ol stick figure a$$ lmao wyd tho hangman lookin a$$ u cute tho lol handful of toothpicks with good hair lookin a$$ baby stop crying Iโ€™m playin with u why u gotta punch me ol legend of the slenderman lookin a$$ baby...baby why u choking me...baby? I kinda like this keep going HAHAHAHA LEMME STOP. Anyway like I said I ainโ€™t got no type. Thicky thicc or slenderwomanous u all splendiferous. And thatโ€™s how I feel about doggies. I ainโ€™t got no type. I understand people like different things. I donโ€™t even blame people who go to breeders like I got close friends thatโ€™s done it and Iโ€™m not about to lecture anybody - they want a certain retriever or husky good for them. I donโ€™t like puppy mills in my heart but I donโ€™t judge. But as for me bruv a ratty lil mix breed rescue dog with a high pitch bark that sound like a child aggressively coughing? With them lil ass legs that allow him or her to run 700 miles per hour bruv? I love a crazy lil rescue mutt bruv he beautiful to me. But most important YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL FOR ADOPTING HIM OR HER - U A HERO. NOT A SMALL HERO BUT A BIG HERO - BLESS U - U WONDERFUL ๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธ [Editorโ€™s Note: The reference to choking was made in jest and was merely intended to create literary interest. The author is from the hood. Consequently, I have built-in danger sensors. Wrap your hands around my throat and squeeze and u gon catcheth this fade. It be the petite lil joints that always wanna scrap too - donโ€™t none of u lil grasshoppers DM me like โ€œlet me choke u zaddy โ˜บ๏ธโ€ Imma leave u on โ€˜Seentโ€™ ON PRINCIPLE. BLESS YA TINY LIL A$$ UP ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚]
                
            

            
            
People ask me โ€œaye smash whatโ€™s your type? What do u like in a girl?โ€ Simple - I ainโ€™t got no type. Anyone who says I do is lyin ๐Ÿฆ. I mean o...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    9gag, Being Alone, and Crying: Sitting at home, alone in the
 house, i feel actually kind of
 peacefull, typing this up. I have
 already accepted my fate. I was
 diagnosed with cancer a week
 ago, and the doctors gave me 2
 months to live, and right nowi
 7 KB JPG
 just really want to share the story of how i got
 cancer. So here it is
 First, a bit of backstory
 4 years old
 >Freshman year
 On second day of school, make a friend who we
 Mike was a few years older than me
 Get really close with mike
 At the time, kissless virgin
 Terrified with girls
 Desperate for a girlfriend
 Mike tells me that it's easy to talk to girls
 >Just don't be nervous and talk to one
 Iv'e always been too nervous to even approach
 One day, he literally pushes me infront a girl i
 this is anon.
 Walks away
 panick, and she kind of giggles
 We end up talking
 Shes actually kind of nice
 Me and female become friends
 Fastforward 2 years later
 Me and female end up dating
 Dating for a year and a half
 We become known as the Lily and Marshal of
 my highschool
 Mike is having a party at his house
 Me and female go
 >I have a few drinks, but gf has alot more than i
 She gets some cigaretts and starts smoking
 with some guy
 Drunkenly tries to make me smoke too
 i try it, but have a coughing fit and don't do it
 She starts to get anoyed that i won't smoke with
 er
 "Whatever" she says and walks off visually
 Kept partying with Mike and make a few new
 S.
 Later, i can't find gf
 Start asking around for her
 One girl says she saw her go upstairs with
 smoker guy
 Ohfuckno
 Mike sees me run upstairs and follows me
 Open a bedroom door and see her with her top
 off, making out with smokerfag
 >I'm stunned. Speachless
 Mike grabs guy and throws him off the bed
 Female starts crying and saying sorry
 Runs over and hugs me
 Not gonna ask if i can continut because im not a
 Cont?cunt
 Anonymous
 07/27/15(Mon)23:25:05 No. 630890540
 Cont pleeease
 Anonymous 07/27/15(Mon)23:27:19 No.630890983
 Few days later, feel an urge to smoke
 Decide 'what's the harm
 l end up having one maybe once a week
 Not 19 yet (legel smoking/drinking age in
 canada) so i have to bum them off of people
 turns out female kept on talking and seeing
 eachother once in a while behind my back
 Long story short, female dumps me for smokefag
 Start smoking to cope with it
 > I was in love with female, and i still am
 l dont know how to deal this. She was my
 >i get super depressed
 cry almost every night for 6 months
 contemplate suicide
 decide i dont want to live without female
 decide to get super drunk and give myself
 alcohol poisoning. Just kind of, fade away
 peacefully
 ive always told mike everything, but i didnt tell
 him how hurt i was by female
 > tell him i want to drink
 ยป mike lives alone now, so we do it at his house
 get super drunk. I cant really remember any of
 what happened that night
 aparently i passed out and he turned me on my
 side so i wouldnt choke on my own vomit
 Wake up and see him sitting in a chair
 start crying uncontrollably
 tell mike what i tried to do
 Mike really helped me deal with all the pain, but
 my smoking habbit stayed
 >2 weeks ago
 lungs feel strange. Sharp pains when i take
 deep
 go to doctor to get it checked out
 take some tests
 few days later, i get a call from doctor
 nervouse as fuck
 turns out im completly fine
 suicide attempt was a month ago
 Still a little depressed, but not suicidal anymore
 mike calls or texts me everyday to makesure in
 ok
 one day, mike texts me a link of a funny picture
 to try and cheer me up
 its a link to a picture on 9gag
 get cancer
Anon shares a heartbreaking story
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                9gag, Being Alone, and Crying: Sitting at home, alone in the
 house, i feel actually kind of
 peacefull, typing this up. I have
 already accepted my fate. I was
 diagnosed with cancer a week
 ago, and the doctors gave me 2
 months to live, and right nowi
 7 KB JPG
 just really want to share the story of how i got
 cancer. So here it is
 First, a bit of backstory
 4 years old
 >Freshman year
 On second day of school, make a friend who we
 Mike was a few years older than me
 Get really close with mike
 At the time, kissless virgin
 Terrified with girls
 Desperate for a girlfriend
 Mike tells me that it's easy to talk to girls
 >Just don't be nervous and talk to one
 Iv'e always been too nervous to even approach
 One day, he literally pushes me infront a girl i
 this is anon.
 Walks away
 panick, and she kind of giggles
 We end up talking
 Shes actually kind of nice
 Me and female become friends
 Fastforward 2 years later
 Me and female end up dating
 Dating for a year and a half
 We become known as the Lily and Marshal of
 my highschool
 Mike is having a party at his house
 Me and female go
 >I have a few drinks, but gf has alot more than i
 She gets some cigaretts and starts smoking
 with some guy
 Drunkenly tries to make me smoke too
 i try it, but have a coughing fit and don't do it
 She starts to get anoyed that i won't smoke with
 er
 "Whatever" she says and walks off visually
 Kept partying with Mike and make a few new
 S.
 Later, i can't find gf
 Start asking around for her
 One girl says she saw her go upstairs with
 smoker guy
 Ohfuckno
 Mike sees me run upstairs and follows me
 Open a bedroom door and see her with her top
 off, making out with smokerfag
 >I'm stunned. Speachless
 Mike grabs guy and throws him off the bed
 Female starts crying and saying sorry
 Runs over and hugs me
 Not gonna ask if i can continut because im not a
 Cont?cunt
 Anonymous
 07/27/15(Mon)23:25:05 No. 630890540
 Cont pleeease
 Anonymous 07/27/15(Mon)23:27:19 No.630890983
 Few days later, feel an urge to smoke
 Decide 'what's the harm
 l end up having one maybe once a week
 Not 19 yet (legel smoking/drinking age in
 canada) so i have to bum them off of people
 turns out female kept on talking and seeing
 eachother once in a while behind my back
 Long story short, female dumps me for smokefag
 Start smoking to cope with it
 > I was in love with female, and i still am
 l dont know how to deal this. She was my
 >i get super depressed
 cry almost every night for 6 months
 contemplate suicide
 decide i dont want to live without female
 decide to get super drunk and give myself
 alcohol poisoning. Just kind of, fade away
 peacefully
 ive always told mike everything, but i didnt tell
 him how hurt i was by female
 > tell him i want to drink
 ยป mike lives alone now, so we do it at his house
 get super drunk. I cant really remember any of
 what happened that night
 aparently i passed out and he turned me on my
 side so i wouldnt choke on my own vomit
 Wake up and see him sitting in a chair
 start crying uncontrollably
 tell mike what i tried to do
 Mike really helped me deal with all the pain, but
 my smoking habbit stayed
 >2 weeks ago
 lungs feel strange. Sharp pains when i take
 deep
 go to doctor to get it checked out
 take some tests
 few days later, i get a call from doctor
 nervouse as fuck
 turns out im completly fine
 suicide attempt was a month ago
 Still a little depressed, but not suicidal anymore
 mike calls or texts me everyday to makesure in
 ok
 one day, mike texts me a link of a funny picture
 to try and cheer me up
 its a link to a picture on 9gag
 get cancer
Anon shares a heartbreaking story
                
            

            
            
Anon shares a heartbreaking story

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Beard, Bless Up, and Cookies: u/mr oberts 16d i.redd.it
 My wife does wedding flowers and
 occasionally gets to make flower collars for
 dogs. Here is Donna helping out by modeling
 @DrSmashlove
Today I have reached the high point of my career, bruv. No I did not get a promotion. Nor did I get a raise. Did my title change? Also no. Corner office? No maโ€™am (thankfully my office-view is pretty dope as it is and for that I am thankful ๐Ÿคฒ). Head of a group? Nuh uh. Something sweeter. Something more valuable. Something nearer and dearer to my heart. Today, dear friends, when the food services people (who are the real MVPs) set up my business lunch in the conference center (chicken breasts, fingerling potatoes, Brussels sprouts, salad, rolls and cookies...side note...fingerling? LMAO. Who invented this word? Itโ€™s like the daintiest, most petite finger. โ€œAlice has the most adorable hands. Theyโ€™re not even fingers...theyโ€™re fingerlings ๐Ÿค—.โ€ But I got big hands so what that make me? โ€œSmash got bear paws, bruv. He ainโ€™t een got fingers, he got โ€˜Fingertonsโ€™โ€ ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ok imma donkey lemme stop). So anyway when I get to the room and they had lunch set up...THEY ALREADY PUT THE TABASCO AND SRIRACHA OUT THERE FOR ME ๐Ÿ˜ฅ. I was so happy I was damn near beaming. A lump formed in my throat and a single tear trickled down my low, shaped beard. No more walk of shame to the supplies closet where they hide the seasonings so some of our more Caucasoidally-inclined clients donโ€™t sustain any inadvertent burns (caucasoids I love yall and I know some of u are bout that spicy lifestyle but some of u might damn near cough out a lung out if we keeping it 600 lol.) The staff had my back. They knew that these negotiations are tough when I attempt to choke down a completely unseasoned chicken breast, as my esophagus will sometimes reject food that hasnโ€™t been bathed in at least two or three different hot sauces. Todayโ€™s negotiation went wonderfully. I felt like I was skipping about the room in a tutu lmao pause. Anyway I feel like itโ€™s not much more for me to do out here, bruv. I always felt like an outsider in this corporate ting, but today...I still feel like an outsider ๐Ÿค— LMAO BUT THEY HAD MY BACK WITH THE HOT SAUCE AND IMMA REMEMBER THIS DAY FOREVER. NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE WINS. MamaWeMadeIt BLESS UP ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Beard, Bless Up, and Cookies: u/mr oberts 16d i.redd.it
 My wife does wedding flowers and
 occasionally gets to make flower collars for
 dogs. Here is Donna helping out by modeling
 @DrSmashlove
Today I have reached the high point of my career, bruv. No I did not get a promotion. Nor did I get a raise. Did my title change? Also no. Corner office? No maโ€™am (thankfully my office-view is pretty dope as it is and for that I am thankful ๐Ÿคฒ). Head of a group? Nuh uh. Something sweeter. Something more valuable. Something nearer and dearer to my heart. Today, dear friends, when the food services people (who are the real MVPs) set up my business lunch in the conference center (chicken breasts, fingerling potatoes, Brussels sprouts, salad, rolls and cookies...side note...fingerling? LMAO. Who invented this word? Itโ€™s like the daintiest, most petite finger. โ€œAlice has the most adorable hands. Theyโ€™re not even fingers...theyโ€™re fingerlings ๐Ÿค—.โ€ But I got big hands so what that make me? โ€œSmash got bear paws, bruv. He ainโ€™t een got fingers, he got โ€˜Fingertonsโ€™โ€ ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ok imma donkey lemme stop). So anyway when I get to the room and they had lunch set up...THEY ALREADY PUT THE TABASCO AND SRIRACHA OUT THERE FOR ME ๐Ÿ˜ฅ. I was so happy I was damn near beaming. A lump formed in my throat and a single tear trickled down my low, shaped beard. No more walk of shame to the supplies closet where they hide the seasonings so some of our more Caucasoidally-inclined clients donโ€™t sustain any inadvertent burns (caucasoids I love yall and I know some of u are bout that spicy lifestyle but some of u might damn near cough out a lung out if we keeping it 600 lol.) The staff had my back. They knew that these negotiations are tough when I attempt to choke down a completely unseasoned chicken breast, as my esophagus will sometimes reject food that hasnโ€™t been bathed in at least two or three different hot sauces. Todayโ€™s negotiation went wonderfully. I felt like I was skipping about the room in a tutu lmao pause. Anyway I feel like itโ€™s not much more for me to do out here, bruv. I always felt like an outsider in this corporate ting, but today...I still feel like an outsider ๐Ÿค— LMAO BUT THEY HAD MY BACK WITH THE HOT SAUCE AND IMMA REMEMBER THIS DAY FOREVER. NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE WINS. MamaWeMadeIt BLESS UP ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
                
            

            
            
Today I have reached the high point of my career, bruv. No I did not get a promotion. Nor did I get a raise. Did my title change? Also no. C...