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clarinet: durnesque-esque: clarinetnerd17: Do I…. Do I use my instrument for this? I mean, it’d be 10,000x funnier if the clarinet player assigned just stood up and started screaming.
clarinet: durnesque-esque:
clarinetnerd17:

Do I…. Do I use my instrument for this?

I mean, it’d be 10,000x funnier if the clarinet player assigned just stood up and started screaming.

durnesque-esque: clarinetnerd17: Do I…. Do I use my instrument for this? I mean, it’d be 10,000x funnier if the clarinet player assigne...

clarinet: sushinfood: justamerplwithabox: vivelafat: prokopetz: officialdeadparrot: grellholmes: elsajeni: gunslingerannie: justtkeepcalmm: dean-and-his-pie: fororchestra: musicalmelody: Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”  Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.  To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha. On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious. I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair… Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair. The lengths we go for music. Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek. One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.” And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is: [stifled giggling] [reeeeeeally deep breath] [COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE] The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture. In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.” FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part. This is the best band post  Everyone else go home Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until, that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that Who does that? This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose. Julius IdontgivaFucik More like Julius Fuckit Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share
clarinet: sushinfood:

justamerplwithabox:

vivelafat:

prokopetz:

officialdeadparrot:

grellholmes:

elsajeni:

gunslingerannie:

justtkeepcalmm:

dean-and-his-pie:

fororchestra:

musicalmelody:

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[stifled giggling]
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

This is the best band post 
Everyone else go home

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit


Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share

sushinfood: justamerplwithabox: vivelafat: prokopetz: officialdeadparrot: grellholmes: elsajeni: gunslingerannie: justtkeepcalmm:...

clarinet: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENT SHOULD I PLAY? HOW OLD ARE YoU?AKEN DO YOU HAVE UNLIMITED TIME LOTS OF MONEY AND A TAN ES START vES, IM NOT REALLY AMAZING tre you really doing this uizIMPRESSIVE! DO YoUR PARENTS WANT YOU TO BE A CHILD PRODIGY? Hart yes! DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO HAVE SOME MUSICAL ABILITY? TOTA I'M HAPP Areen Fruct cee met JUST TO PLAV Violin YES Do you have nerves and a wan upper lip GET PLAYING OF STEEL? Some THAT SOUNDS JUST LIKE ME DO YOU WINT TO DEITE OUR NOULDI'T FAMILY MAD? Fancy yourself I'm not a brat! OT PARTICULARLY YES ARE YOU MORE MOZARTr n OR MORE MCCARTNEY? DO YOU WANT TO BE MCCARTNEVCENTRE JAZZ ISMT MUSIC IT'S NOISE sure thing, catt DO YOU FANCY A BIT OF JAZZ ON THE SIDE? seng呈5AYSE 280 D.YOU- notreally s team player HAVE A BIG HOUSE? DO YOU HATE YOUR | ← | Ilive in PEREs compare and bijou NEIGHBOURS? a church DF ROOM ORCHESTRA? I always wear flowers tn mor bair TOO MUCH NOISE I'M OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR SUPERMAN isu DO YOU LIKE FOLK MUSIC? , Do you enjoy lifting heavy weights? HIPY MV LIFE I5 LIKE A SYMPHONY! uc I-you have a geedsase of RHYTHM & TIMING? De you have an aursian to SHT OR CONDENSATION? I'M A HUMAN METRONOME LIFE'S TOO SHORT ABOVE GENE MUSIC Oboe 2-ymn indbeing -BRING IT ON, GIVE ME ach Mm.e? A REAL CHALLENGE! I LIKE A with reeds? CHALLENGE I LOVE A GOOD LAUGH Bassooh TOO MUCH HASSLE LOUD AND BOLD ilove thou wish orstand? D you want to 8OS COVER manual tasks BAND? OWN SOLO Tupte Sop e Clarinet SINFINI Cutting Through Classical clarinetpet: Whoever made this is a genius. This is so accurate it hurts
clarinet: WHICH MUSICAL INSTRUMENT SHOULD I PLAY?
 HOW OLD
 ARE YoU?AKEN
 DO YOU HAVE UNLIMITED
 TIME LOTS OF MONEY AND A TAN
 ES
 START
 vES, IM NOT REALLY
 AMAZING
 tre you really doing this uizIMPRESSIVE!
 DO YoUR PARENTS WANT
 YOU TO BE A CHILD PRODIGY?
 Hart
 yes!
 DO YOU CONSIDER
 YOURSELF TO HAVE SOME
 MUSICAL ABILITY?
 TOTA
 I'M HAPP
 Areen Fruct cee met
 JUST TO PLAV
 Violin
 YES Do you have nerves
 and a
 wan
 upper lip
 GET PLAYING
 OF STEEL?
 Some
 THAT SOUNDS
 JUST LIKE ME
 DO YOU WINT TO DEITE OUR
 NOULDI'T FAMILY MAD?
 Fancy yourself
 I'm not a brat!
 OT PARTICULARLY
 YES
 ARE YOU MORE MOZARTr n
 OR MORE MCCARTNEY?
 DO YOU WANT TO BE
 MCCARTNEVCENTRE
 JAZZ ISMT MUSIC
 IT'S NOISE sure thing, catt
 DO YOU FANCY A BIT
 OF JAZZ ON THE SIDE?
 seng呈5AYSE 280
 D.YOU-
 notreally
 s team player
 HAVE A BIG HOUSE?
 DO YOU HATE YOUR
 | ← | Ilive in PEREs compare
 and bijou
 NEIGHBOURS?
 a church
 DF ROOM
 ORCHESTRA?
 I always wear flowers tn mor bair
 TOO MUCH NOISE
 I'M OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR
 SUPERMAN
 isu
 DO YOU LIKE FOLK MUSIC?
 ,
 Do you enjoy
 lifting heavy weights?
 HIPY
 MV LIFE I5 LIKE
 A SYMPHONY!
 uc
 I-you have a geedsase of
 RHYTHM & TIMING?
 De you have an aursian to
 SHT OR CONDENSATION?
 I'M A HUMAN
 METRONOME
 LIFE'S TOO
 SHORT
 ABOVE
 GENE
 MUSIC
 Oboe 2-ymn indbeing
 -BRING IT ON, GIVE ME
 ach Mm.e? A REAL CHALLENGE!
 I LIKE A
 with reeds? CHALLENGE
 I LOVE A
 GOOD LAUGH
 Bassooh
 TOO MUCH HASSLE
 LOUD AND BOLD
 ilove
 thou wish
 orstand?
 D you want to
 8OS COVER
 manual tasks
 BAND?
 OWN SOLO
 Tupte Sop e Clarinet
 SINFINI
 Cutting Through Classical
clarinetpet:

Whoever made this is a genius.

This is so accurate it hurts

clarinetpet: Whoever made this is a genius. This is so accurate it hurts