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    Gif, Lol, and Love: thisbibliomaniac:
caitallolovesyou:

bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

scottbaiowulf:


punchsportsandpunchlines:

jovan:

babydreamgirl:

zodiacbaby:

uvsunglassesfordogs:

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby
feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

…

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever


I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby
Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby


“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER. 

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby


SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING 
FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?


They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.
I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol


@dangerously-human @jayykesley 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Gif, Lol, and Love: thisbibliomaniac:
caitallolovesyou:

bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

scottbaiowulf:


punchsportsandpunchlines:

jovan:

babydreamgirl:

zodiacbaby:

uvsunglassesfordogs:

did you know that before they decided on a cgi baby for the twilight movie they had planned to use this ANIMATRONIC baby
feel like this also begs the question: why did the people who were in charge of this consider two alternatives for this character instead of just, like, a real human baby. i can’t imagine you couldn’t just nab some newborn off a crew member or friend

…

I want to die!!!!

this is the funniest post I’ve seen on tumblr in forever


I have never seen these movies in their entirety and was unaware there was a cgi baby in it so I am posting this gif of a scene I discovered was genuinely used in the movie twilight unironically

Is that when the werewolf falls in love with the baby
Because that was a thing, the werewolf falls in love with the baby


“Oh I wasn’t in love with YOU! I was in love with the baby inside of you all along.” Because that’s a regular thing to write, STEPHANIE. MEYER. 

can you blame him i mean that is one hot baby


SO THATS WHERE IT COMES FROM IVE BEEN USING 
FOR YEARS I NEVER KNEW IT WAS FROM TWILIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHA

what the fuck

reason why they didn’t use a real baby: who would trust vampires and werewolves with their child?


They say that the crew who made her had lost the animatronic and that she is still out there. Aparently some of the crew members are afraid to find her again

This was a weird and wild ride from start to finish.
I, for one, hope that animatronic is in Hell where it belongs. lol


@dangerously-human @jayykesley 

                
            

            
            
thisbibliomaniac:
caitallolovesyou:

bigboomer101:

totallynotzelda:

skeleton-zone-192000:

officialfist:

newkidsonmycock31:

assbaka:

sc...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Crazy, Soon..., and Trash: Greetings new neighbors,
 First, welcome to your new home. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Chris and I'm your
 neighbor at 553% apt 1 (other side of your wall). rm including a page of helpful numbers and our trash
 collection days for you, hope they can be of help. I have helped one of the previous tenants there with
 some things so if you have any questions feel free to text me, I'm including my card. That said, just a
 heads up that I work nights so I will get back to you as soon as I can.
 I few things that I can think of now that may be useful:
 Our units do have heat pumps, and they do work. However, when the outside temp drops below
 50 they are worthless. So the Washington Gas number is so you can have the gas turned on
 which work your radiators. Though that isn't an issue now, come winter it will be and I would
 suggest calling them now to get some info on if you need a deposit or not (cause if you do as i
 did, it is steep),
 There is only one outside water faucet, it's on my side in the front. Feel free to use it, the water
 bill (paid by land lord) is a single bil for both our units
 1)
 2)
 3) I'm deaf in one ear, so if I ever have the TV to loud text me and let me know to turn it down.
 4) When winter comes and if you decide to use the gas heat let me know, I will help bleed the tank
 and get it up and running for you. It took the previous tenant and me almost a full day and
 flooding the house before we got them going. Not that it is difficult, but it helps doing it for two
 years now.
 I know getting settled can be crazy and time consuming, so dinner is on me. I am enclosing a gift
 card so you can have an evening without having to worry about cooking. Happy house warming,
 5)
 Again, welcome to your new home. Feel free to text with any questions.
 Chris
The world needs more neighbors like Chris
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Crazy, Soon..., and Trash: Greetings new neighbors,
 First, welcome to your new home. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Chris and I'm your
 neighbor at 553% apt 1 (other side of your wall). rm including a page of helpful numbers and our trash
 collection days for you, hope they can be of help. I have helped one of the previous tenants there with
 some things so if you have any questions feel free to text me, I'm including my card. That said, just a
 heads up that I work nights so I will get back to you as soon as I can.
 I few things that I can think of now that may be useful:
 Our units do have heat pumps, and they do work. However, when the outside temp drops below
 50 they are worthless. So the Washington Gas number is so you can have the gas turned on
 which work your radiators. Though that isn't an issue now, come winter it will be and I would
 suggest calling them now to get some info on if you need a deposit or not (cause if you do as i
 did, it is steep),
 There is only one outside water faucet, it's on my side in the front. Feel free to use it, the water
 bill (paid by land lord) is a single bil for both our units
 1)
 2)
 3) I'm deaf in one ear, so if I ever have the TV to loud text me and let me know to turn it down.
 4) When winter comes and if you decide to use the gas heat let me know, I will help bleed the tank
 and get it up and running for you. It took the previous tenant and me almost a full day and
 flooding the house before we got them going. Not that it is difficult, but it helps doing it for two
 years now.
 I know getting settled can be crazy and time consuming, so dinner is on me. I am enclosing a gift
 card so you can have an evening without having to worry about cooking. Happy house warming,
 5)
 Again, welcome to your new home. Feel free to text with any questions.
 Chris
The world needs more neighbors like Chris
                
            

            
            
The world needs more neighbors like Chris

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Family, God, and Life: God created the dog and said:
 Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
 who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life
 span of twenty years."
 The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about
 only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
 So God agreed
 Then God created the monkey and said:
 Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this
 I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
 The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a
 pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten
 like the Dog did?"
 And God agreed.
 Then God created the cow and said:
 You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and
 suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support
 the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of
 sixty years.
 The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to
 live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back
 the other forty?
 And God agreed again.
 Thereafter God created humans and said:
 Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II
 give you twenty years."
 But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly
 give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten
 the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that
 makes eighty, okay?'
 Okay, said God, 'You asked for it."
 So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play
 and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in
 the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do
 monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the
 last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
 everyone.
 Life has now been explained to you.
epicjohndoe:

There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Family, God, and Life: God created the dog and said:
 Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
 who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life
 span of twenty years."
 The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about
 only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
 So God agreed
 Then God created the monkey and said:
 Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this
 I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
 The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a
 pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten
 like the Dog did?"
 And God agreed.
 Then God created the cow and said:
 You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and
 suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support
 the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of
 sixty years.
 The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to
 live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back
 the other forty?
 And God agreed again.
 Thereafter God created humans and said:
 Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II
 give you twenty years."
 But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly
 give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten
 the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that
 makes eighty, okay?'
 Okay, said God, 'You asked for it."
 So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play
 and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in
 the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do
 monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the
 last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
 everyone.
 Life has now been explained to you.
epicjohndoe:

There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You
                
            

            
            
epicjohndoe:

There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Advice, Being Alone, and Anaconda: An Econ Teacher Gave His Senior
 Highschool Students His Personal
 List Of Wisest Words..And They
 Make A Lot Of Sense.
 1 There are plenty of ways to enter a pool The stairs
 is not one of them
 2 Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
 3. Don't knock it till you try it
 4. a stree performer makes you stop walking, you
 owe him a buck
 5
 Always use we when referring to your home
 6.
 When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
 7.
 Don't underestimate free throws in a game of
 HORSE.
 8 lust because you can doesn't mean you should
 9. Don't dumb yourself down.
 10 You only get one chance to notice new
 hairout.
 11 If you're staying more than one night, unpack
 12. Never park in front of a bar
 13. Expect the seat in front of you to redine.
 Prepare
 14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first cer, and
 first
 15.
 Hold your heroes to a high standard.
 17 Never lie to your doctor
 18 All guns are
 19. Don't mention sunburns. Believe me, they
 know.
 20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it
 Even if it's only once.
 21
 Take
 and TV once
 vacation of your cell phone, internet,
 year
 22.
 Don't fill up on bread, no matter how good.
 24
 Don't linger in the doorway. in or out
 25.
 If you choose to go in drag, don't sell yourself
 short.
 26.
 If you want to know what makes you unique,
 sit for
 27 Never get your haircut the day of a
 special
 28 Be mindful of what comes between you and
 the Earth Ahways buy good shoes, tires and
 sheets.
 29. Never eat unch at your desk If you can avoid it
 30. When you're with new friends, don't just tak
 31. Eat unch with the new kids
 32. When traveling, keep your wits about you No
 33. It's never too late for an apology.
 34. Don't pose wth boore. It's unbecoming.
 5. If you have the right of way, TAKE IT
 36. You don't get to choose your own nickname.
 37, When you marry someone, remember you marry
 39.
 Under nocrcumstances should you ask ง woman
 40. it'snot enough to be proud of your ancestry, ive
 up to t
 41. Don't make a
 42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet
 44. Never glost
 46. Make time for your mother on your birthday. It'sa
 special day for her too
 47. When opening presents, no one lices &a good
 guesver
 48. Sympathy Is a crutch Never take ล limp.
 49, Give credit, Take biame
 50. Suck it up every now and then.
 51. Never be the last one in the pool
 52. Don't stare.
 53. Address everyone that carries a firearm
 54. Stand up to bulies, You only have to do it once.
 55. fyoul've made your point, stop talking
 56. Admit it when you're wrong
 7. it you offer to help don't quit until the job is done
 58. Look people in the eye when you thank them
 60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
 61. Forgive yoursef for your mistakes.
 62. Know at least one good joke.
 63. Don't boo Even the ref is somebody's son
 one good meal
 65,
 Leam to drive manual/stick shift.
 66. Be cool to yourger kids. Reputations are built over
 67. It's okay to po to the movies by yourself
 68. Dance with your mother/Tather
 69. Don't lose your cool. Especialy at work
 0. Always thank the host
 71. It you don't understand, ask before it's too late.
 72. Know the size of your boyfriend girtriend's
 73 There is nothing wrong with a plain t shirt.
 74. De a good ästener. Don't just take your turn to
 5. eep your word,
 76.
 In colege always sit near the front. You'll stand
 our immediately and come grade time it will oome in
 handy.
 7. Carry your mother's begs, She carried you for 9
 78. Be pacient with arport security. They are just
 79. Don't be the talker in a movie.
 80. The oppesite svex ikes people who shower.
 81. You are what you da. Nat what you say
 82. Learn to change tire
 83. Be kind Everyone has a hard fight ahead
 84.
 An hour with grandparents is time we
 spent. Ask for
 advice when you need it
 Don't itter
 86,
 tf you have ฮ sister, get to know her
 87. You won't always be the strongest or
 fastest. But you can't be the toughest
 89. Duy the orange properties in Monopoly
 90. Make the littie things count.
 91
 92. There is a fine line between loaking suitry
 and slutty. Find it
 93.
 94.
 You're never too old to need your Mom.
 Ladies,
 2 you make the decision to wee
 hees on the first dste commit to keeping
 them on and keeping your trap shut about
 how much your feet kil
 96.
 Your dance moves might not be the best.
 but i promise making a fool of yourself is
 more fun than sitting on the bench alone
 99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime
 100. If you HAVE to fight, punch first and
 punch hard.
epicjohndoe:

Wise Words From A Smart Teacher
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Advice, Being Alone, and Anaconda: An Econ Teacher Gave His Senior
 Highschool Students His Personal
 List Of Wisest Words..And They
 Make A Lot Of Sense.
 1 There are plenty of ways to enter a pool The stairs
 is not one of them
 2 Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
 3. Don't knock it till you try it
 4. a stree performer makes you stop walking, you
 owe him a buck
 5
 Always use we when referring to your home
 6.
 When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
 7.
 Don't underestimate free throws in a game of
 HORSE.
 8 lust because you can doesn't mean you should
 9. Don't dumb yourself down.
 10 You only get one chance to notice new
 hairout.
 11 If you're staying more than one night, unpack
 12. Never park in front of a bar
 13. Expect the seat in front of you to redine.
 Prepare
 14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first cer, and
 first
 15.
 Hold your heroes to a high standard.
 17 Never lie to your doctor
 18 All guns are
 19. Don't mention sunburns. Believe me, they
 know.
 20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it
 Even if it's only once.
 21
 Take
 and TV once
 vacation of your cell phone, internet,
 year
 22.
 Don't fill up on bread, no matter how good.
 24
 Don't linger in the doorway. in or out
 25.
 If you choose to go in drag, don't sell yourself
 short.
 26.
 If you want to know what makes you unique,
 sit for
 27 Never get your haircut the day of a
 special
 28 Be mindful of what comes between you and
 the Earth Ahways buy good shoes, tires and
 sheets.
 29. Never eat unch at your desk If you can avoid it
 30. When you're with new friends, don't just tak
 31. Eat unch with the new kids
 32. When traveling, keep your wits about you No
 33. It's never too late for an apology.
 34. Don't pose wth boore. It's unbecoming.
 5. If you have the right of way, TAKE IT
 36. You don't get to choose your own nickname.
 37, When you marry someone, remember you marry
 39.
 Under nocrcumstances should you ask ง woman
 40. it'snot enough to be proud of your ancestry, ive
 up to t
 41. Don't make a
 42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet
 44. Never glost
 46. Make time for your mother on your birthday. It'sa
 special day for her too
 47. When opening presents, no one lices &a good
 guesver
 48. Sympathy Is a crutch Never take ล limp.
 49, Give credit, Take biame
 50. Suck it up every now and then.
 51. Never be the last one in the pool
 52. Don't stare.
 53. Address everyone that carries a firearm
 54. Stand up to bulies, You only have to do it once.
 55. fyoul've made your point, stop talking
 56. Admit it when you're wrong
 7. it you offer to help don't quit until the job is done
 58. Look people in the eye when you thank them
 60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
 61. Forgive yoursef for your mistakes.
 62. Know at least one good joke.
 63. Don't boo Even the ref is somebody's son
 one good meal
 65,
 Leam to drive manual/stick shift.
 66. Be cool to yourger kids. Reputations are built over
 67. It's okay to po to the movies by yourself
 68. Dance with your mother/Tather
 69. Don't lose your cool. Especialy at work
 0. Always thank the host
 71. It you don't understand, ask before it's too late.
 72. Know the size of your boyfriend girtriend's
 73 There is nothing wrong with a plain t shirt.
 74. De a good ästener. Don't just take your turn to
 5. eep your word,
 76.
 In colege always sit near the front. You'll stand
 our immediately and come grade time it will oome in
 handy.
 7. Carry your mother's begs, She carried you for 9
 78. Be pacient with arport security. They are just
 79. Don't be the talker in a movie.
 80. The oppesite svex ikes people who shower.
 81. You are what you da. Nat what you say
 82. Learn to change tire
 83. Be kind Everyone has a hard fight ahead
 84.
 An hour with grandparents is time we
 spent. Ask for
 advice when you need it
 Don't itter
 86,
 tf you have ฮ sister, get to know her
 87. You won't always be the strongest or
 fastest. But you can't be the toughest
 89. Duy the orange properties in Monopoly
 90. Make the littie things count.
 91
 92. There is a fine line between loaking suitry
 and slutty. Find it
 93.
 94.
 You're never too old to need your Mom.
 Ladies,
 2 you make the decision to wee
 hees on the first dste commit to keeping
 them on and keeping your trap shut about
 how much your feet kil
 96.
 Your dance moves might not be the best.
 but i promise making a fool of yourself is
 more fun than sitting on the bench alone
 99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime
 100. If you HAVE to fight, punch first and
 punch hard.
epicjohndoe:

Wise Words From A Smart Teacher
                
            

            
            
epicjohndoe:

Wise Words From A Smart Teacher

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of Trump rallies and then asked it to
 write a Trump rally of its own. Here is the
 first page
 TRUMP RALLY
 INT. BIG ARBY 'S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA
 PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium
 PRESIDENT TRUMP
 I just had a phone call with the
 economy. Jobs poured out of the
 phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. steve
 Jobs. All at Kinko's
 The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard
 hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive)
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 The United Snakes is doing so good.
 other countries are on fire. All
 the people on fire. Hot fire too.
 Not us. Our flag is so beautiful.
 President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE
 TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America.
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 I signed a bill. No more swamp.
 Swamp gone. Swamp is in Mexico now.
 It's on fire. Great deal for us
 The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS! FOUR MORE SWAMPS!
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 Foreign powers cheat us Canada
 steals our milk. China steals our
 milk. We only had one glass of milk
 left! Obama drank it. Not fair
 The crowd b s. They wanted that milk
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 But like President Ronald Rogaine,
 I will bring back the milk!
 The crowd roars. They still want that milk
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 A wall of milk. No criminals get
 through. Democrats want criminals
 to have the milk. No way. Milk
 comes from coal. We'll dig it up.
 All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They
 hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging
ARBY’S FOOD IS FINE TO EAT via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2xfvrxE
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of Trump rallies and then asked it to
 write a Trump rally of its own. Here is the
 first page
 TRUMP RALLY
 INT. BIG ARBY 'S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA
 PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium
 PRESIDENT TRUMP
 I just had a phone call with the
 economy. Jobs poured out of the
 phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. steve
 Jobs. All at Kinko's
 The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard
 hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive)
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 The United Snakes is doing so good.
 other countries are on fire. All
 the people on fire. Hot fire too.
 Not us. Our flag is so beautiful.
 President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE
 TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America.
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 I signed a bill. No more swamp.
 Swamp gone. Swamp is in Mexico now.
 It's on fire. Great deal for us
 The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS! FOUR MORE SWAMPS!
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 Foreign powers cheat us Canada
 steals our milk. China steals our
 milk. We only had one glass of milk
 left! Obama drank it. Not fair
 The crowd b s. They wanted that milk
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 But like President Ronald Rogaine,
 I will bring back the milk!
 The crowd roars. They still want that milk
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 A wall of milk. No criminals get
 through. Democrats want criminals
 to have the milk. No way. Milk
 comes from coal. We'll dig it up.
 All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They
 hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging
ARBY’S FOOD IS FINE TO EAT via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2xfvrxE
                
            

            
            
ARBY’S FOOD IS FINE TO EAT via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2xfvrxE

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of Trump rallies and then asked it to write
 a Trump rally of its own. Here is the first
 page
 TRUMP RALLY
 INT. BIG ARBY'S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA
 PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium.
 The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS FOUR MORE SWAMPS!
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 Foreign powers cheat us! canada
 steals our milk. China steals our
 PRESIDENT TRUMP
 milk. We only had one glass of milk
 left! Obama drank it. Not fair
 I just had a phone call with the
 economy. Jobs poured out of the
 phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. Steve
 Jobs. All at Kinko's.
 The crowd boos. They wanted that milk
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard
 hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive
 But like President Ronald Rogaine,
 I will bring back the milk!
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 The United Snakes is doing so good
 other countries are on fire. All
 the people on fire. Hot fire too.
 Not us. Our flag is Bo beautiful.
 The crowd roars. They still want that milk
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 A wall of milk. No criminals get
 through. Democrats want criminals
 to have the milk. No way. Milk
 comes from coal. We'1l dig it up.
 President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE
 TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 I signed a bill. No more swamp
 Swamp gone. swamp is in Mexico now
 It's on fire. Great deal for us
 All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They
 hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging.
This is glorious
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of Trump rallies and then asked it to write
 a Trump rally of its own. Here is the first
 page
 TRUMP RALLY
 INT. BIG ARBY'S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA
 PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium.
 The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS FOUR MORE SWAMPS!
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 Foreign powers cheat us! canada
 steals our milk. China steals our
 PRESIDENT TRUMP
 milk. We only had one glass of milk
 left! Obama drank it. Not fair
 I just had a phone call with the
 economy. Jobs poured out of the
 phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. Steve
 Jobs. All at Kinko's.
 The crowd boos. They wanted that milk
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard
 hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive
 But like President Ronald Rogaine,
 I will bring back the milk!
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 The United Snakes is doing so good
 other countries are on fire. All
 the people on fire. Hot fire too.
 Not us. Our flag is Bo beautiful.
 The crowd roars. They still want that milk
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 A wall of milk. No criminals get
 through. Democrats want criminals
 to have the milk. No way. Milk
 comes from coal. We'1l dig it up.
 President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE
 TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 I signed a bill. No more swamp
 Swamp gone. swamp is in Mexico now
 It's on fire. Great deal for us
 All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They
 hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging.
This is glorious
                
            

            
            
This is glorious

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of Trump rallies and then asked it to write
 a Trump rally of its own. Here is the first
 page
 TRUMP RALLY
 INT. BIG ARBY S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA
 PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium
 The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS! FOUR MORE SWAMPS!
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 LT
 Foreign powers cheat us! Canada
 steals our milk. China steals our
 PRESIDENT TRUMP
 milk. We only had one glass of milk
 left! Obama drank it. Not fair
 I just had a phone call with the
 economy. Jobs poured out of the
 phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. Steve
 Jobs. All at Kinko's.
 The crowd boos. They wanted that milk
 The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard
 hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive)
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 But like President Ronald Rogaine,
 I will bring back the milk!
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D
 The United Snakes is doing so
 other countries are on fire. All
 the people on fire. Hot fire too.
 Not us. our flag is Bo beautiful
 The crowd roars. They still want that milk
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 A wall of milk. No criminals get
 through. Democrats want criminals
 to have the milk. No way. Milk
 comes from coal. We'1l dig it up
 President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE
 TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America.
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 I signed a bil1. No more swamp
 Sw
 All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They
 hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging.
 . Swamp is in Mexico now.
 amp gone
 It's on fire. Great deal for us.
Omfg this is so worth the read I’m crying and want milk now @donny.drama 😩😭
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Alive, America, and Beautiful: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of Trump rallies and then asked it to write
 a Trump rally of its own. Here is the first
 page
 TRUMP RALLY
 INT. BIG ARBY S IN SOUTH WYOMKLAHOMA
 PRESIDENT TRUMP forces himself on a podium
 The crowd chants: FOUR MORE SWAMPS! FOUR MORE SWAMPS!
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 LT
 Foreign powers cheat us! Canada
 steals our milk. China steals our
 PRESIDENT TRUMP
 milk. We only had one glass of milk
 left! Obama drank it. Not fair
 I just had a phone call with the
 economy. Jobs poured out of the
 phone. Great jobs. Tall jobs. Steve
 Jobs. All at Kinko's.
 The crowd boos. They wanted that milk
 The crowd cheers. It is full of real Americans (man with hard
 hat, man with harder hat, gun that is alive)
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 But like President Ronald Rogaine,
 I will bring back the milk!
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D
 The United Snakes is doing so
 other countries are on fire. All
 the people on fire. Hot fire too.
 Not us. our flag is Bo beautiful
 The crowd roars. They still want that milk
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D)
 A wall of milk. No criminals get
 through. Democrats want criminals
 to have the milk. No way. Milk
 comes from coal. We'1l dig it up
 President Trump salutes a flag that says: ARBY'S FOOD IS FINE
 TO EAT. The crowd howls. They love this flag of America.
 PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D)
 I signed a bil1. No more swamp
 Sw
 All of the words are mispronounced. The crowd cheers. They
 hate pronunciations. They love milk. They start digging.
 . Swamp is in Mexico now.
 amp gone
 It's on fire. Great deal for us.
Omfg this is so worth the read I’m crying and want milk now @donny.drama 😩😭
                
            

            
            
Omfg this is so worth the read I’m crying and want milk now @donny.drama 😩😭

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Family, God, and Life: God created the dog and said:
 Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
 who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life
 span of twenty years."
 The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about
 only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
 So God agreed
 Then God created the monkey and said:
 Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this
 I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
 The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a
 pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten
 like the Dog did?"
 And God agreed.
 Then God created the cow and said:
 You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and
 suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support
 the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of
 sixty years.
 The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to
 live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back
 the other forty?
 And God agreed again.
 Thereafter God created humans and said:
 Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II
 give you twenty years."
 But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly
 give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten
 the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that
 makes eighty, okay?'
 Okay, said God, 'You asked for it."
 So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play
 and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in
 the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do
 monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the
 last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
 everyone.
 Life has now been explained to you.
epicjohndoe:

There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Family, God, and Life: God created the dog and said:
 Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
 who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life
 span of twenty years."
 The dog said: That's a long time to be barking. How about
 only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
 So God agreed
 Then God created the monkey and said:
 Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this
 I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
 The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a
 pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten
 like the Dog did?"
 And God agreed.
 Then God created the cow and said:
 You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and
 suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support
 the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of
 sixty years.
 The cow said: That's kind of a tough life you want me to
 live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back
 the other forty?
 And God agreed again.
 Thereafter God created humans and said:
 Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'II
 give you twenty years."
 But the human said: Only twenty years? Could you possibly
 give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten
 the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that
 makes eighty, okay?'
 Okay, said God, 'You asked for it."
 So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play
 and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in
 the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do
 monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the
 last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
 everyone.
 Life has now been explained to you.
epicjohndoe:

There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You
                
            

            
            
epicjohndoe:

There, Life Has Now Been Explained To You