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    Comes: omg-humor:

BLM comes first I guess.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: omg-humor:

BLM comes first I guess.
                
            

            
            
omg-humor:

BLM comes first I guess.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Oh boi here comes the loin king by GodlikeCthulhu
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                Comes: Oh boi here comes the loin king by GodlikeCthulhu
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Oh boi here comes the loin king by GodlikeCthulhu
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Oh boi here comes the loin king
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: Oh boi here comes the loin king
                
            

            
            
Oh boi here comes the loin king

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

                
            

            
            
inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

so...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: minimusambus:

homomilitant:
if you say anything homophobic in June this truck comes out of nowhere and crushes you like that bus crushed Regina George 
it’s optimus pride

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: minimusambus:

homomilitant:
if you say anything homophobic in June this truck comes out of nowhere and crushes you like that bus crushed Regina George 
it’s optimus pride

                
            

            
            
minimusambus:

homomilitant:
if you say anything homophobic in June this truck comes out of nowhere and crushes you like that bus crushed...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Comes: I will definitely make sure to buy one when it comes out.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: I will definitely make sure to buy one when it comes out.
                
            

            
            
I will definitely make sure to buy one when it comes out.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: homomilitant:
if you say anything homophobic in June this truck comes out of nowhere and crushes you like that bus crushed Regina George 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: homomilitant:
if you say anything homophobic in June this truck comes out of nowhere and crushes you like that bus crushed Regina George 
                
            

            
            
homomilitant:
if you say anything homophobic in June this truck comes out of nowhere and crushes you like that bus crushed Regina George 

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Ready or not here it comes.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: Ready or not here it comes.
                
            

            
            
Ready or not here it comes.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Here comes the comeback by Bevan06
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                Comes: Here comes the comeback by Bevan06
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Here comes the comeback by Bevan06
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Comes: Imagine what if judgement day comes in July
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: Imagine what if judgement day comes in July
                
            

            
            
Imagine what if judgement day comes in July

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Imagine what if judgement day comes in July by 0mkarHonrao
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                Comes: Imagine what if judgement day comes in July by 0mkarHonrao
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Imagine what if judgement day comes in July by 0mkarHonrao
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Help comes in the most unexpected ways
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: Help comes in the most unexpected ways
                
            

            
            
Help comes in the most unexpected ways

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: justcatposts:

I meowed at our neighbor’s cat once and now it regularly comes up to our door and just watches us live our lives. (via)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: justcatposts:

I meowed at our neighbor’s cat once and now it regularly comes up to our door and just watches us live our lives. (via)
                
            

            
            
justcatposts:

I meowed at our neighbor’s cat once and now it regularly comes up to our door and just watches us live our lives. (via)

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Here it comes by hishon01
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: Here it comes by hishon01
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Here it comes by hishon01
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Here it comes
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: Here it comes
                
            

            
            
Here it comes

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: I love it when a plan comes together
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: I love it when a plan comes together
                
            

            
            
I love it when a plan comes together

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Comes: phantomemes:
starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary .
‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’
‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’
‘  you are teaching me to love  ’
‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’
‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’
‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’
‘  you are my good days  ’
‘  i have been loved dearly  ’
‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’
‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’
‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’
‘  there will always be another day  ’
‘  there will always be another mercy  ’
‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’
‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’
‘  i am terrified for you  ’
‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’
‘  today i am thankful  ’
‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’
‘  come and get me  ’
‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’
‘  i think i broke again last night  ’
‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’
‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’
‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’
‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’
‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’
‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’
‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’
‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’
‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’
‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’
‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’
‘  this life is an altar  ’
‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’
‘  there is a mountain in me  ’
‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’
‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’
‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’
‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’
‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’
‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’
‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’
‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’
‘  you scare me a little  ’
‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’
‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’
‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’
‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’
‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’

‘  there is never an end  ’

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: phantomemes:
starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary .
‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’
‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’
‘  you are teaching me to love  ’
‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’
‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’
‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’
‘  you are my good days  ’
‘  i have been loved dearly  ’
‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’
‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’
‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’
‘  there will always be another day  ’
‘  there will always be another mercy  ’
‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’
‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’
‘  i am terrified for you  ’
‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’
‘  today i am thankful  ’
‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’
‘  come and get me  ’
‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’
‘  i think i broke again last night  ’
‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’
‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’
‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’
‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’
‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’
‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’
‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’
‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’
‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’
‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’
‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’
‘  this life is an altar  ’
‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’
‘  there is a mountain in me  ’
‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’
‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’
‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’
‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’
‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’
‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’
‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’
‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’
‘  you scare me a little  ’
‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’
‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’
‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’
‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’
‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’

‘  there is never an end  ’

                
            

            
            
phantomemes:
starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Comes: Where nightmares comes from
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: Where nightmares comes from
                
            

            
            
Where nightmares comes from

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Comes: justcatposts:

“I meowed at our neighbor’s cat once and now it regularly comes up to our door and just watches us live our lives.” (Source)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: justcatposts:

“I meowed at our neighbor’s cat once and now it regularly comes up to our door and just watches us live our lives.” (Source)
                
            

            
            
justcatposts:

“I meowed at our neighbor’s cat once and now it regularly comes up to our door and just watches us live our lives.” (Source)

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Here comes the second wave 😓 by MGLLN
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: Here comes the second wave 😓 by MGLLN
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Here comes the second wave 😓 by MGLLN
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Comes: It all comes full circle by SkippyD1205
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: It all comes full circle by SkippyD1205
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
It all comes full circle by SkippyD1205
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Papa comes bearing gifts!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: Papa comes bearing gifts!
                
            

            
            
Papa comes bearing gifts!

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: “Nothing comes between Hudson and his ball”(Source)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: “Nothing comes between Hudson and his ball”(Source)
                
                

                
            

            
            
“Nothing comes between Hudson and his ball”(Source)

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: viostormcaller:
eggings:
apparently almost no one’s seen the video it’s free real estate comes from so here it is

ITS BACK

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: viostormcaller:
eggings:
apparently almost no one’s seen the video it’s free real estate comes from so here it is

ITS BACK

                
                

                
            

            
            
viostormcaller:
eggings:
apparently almost no one’s seen the video it’s free real estate comes from so here it is

ITS BACK


            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: ups-dogs:

Sadie waiting for treats when her UPS guy comes to visit Ona, WV
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: ups-dogs:

Sadie waiting for treats when her UPS guy comes to visit Ona, WV
                
            

            
            
ups-dogs:

Sadie waiting for treats when her UPS guy comes to visit Ona, WV

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
“I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”
“I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
“I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”
“There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
“It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
“I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”
“I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.



    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
“I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”
“I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
“I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”
“There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
“It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
“I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”
“I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.



                
            

            
            
rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: When your real daddy comes in a clutch
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: When your real daddy comes in a clutch
                
            

            
            
When your real daddy comes in a clutch

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Comes: animalsnaps:

It comes once a year. He hates me, I giggle.Source: @grumpybeagle
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: animalsnaps:

It comes once a year. He hates me, I giggle.Source: @grumpybeagle
                
                

                
            

            
            
animalsnaps:

It comes once a year. He hates me, I giggle.Source: @grumpybeagle

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Comes: broadwaytheanimatedseries:

legalizememes:
smallest-feeblest-boggart:

the-hittite:

sexhaver:

sexhaver:


silverlightpony:


gayestgen:

scorch-mechanic:


goat-plushie:
Wait, there’s physical copies of Fallout Equestria? That’d have to be massive.
The first run was five hardbacks of progressively increasing girth. The stack is hefty, but the books are comfortable. Each chapter has chapter art too, which I consider a plus in all fantasy books.
Later runs were single-book softcover monstrosities. I think I saw another five-volume hardback run recently, but I’m not deeply involved in the fandom anymore.



The second print run was two volumes, hardback, with jackets.  Dunno about any subsequent runs.
I still think the 5-volume split was the best option.  It’s a big damn story.
(For anyone who hasn’t read it: yes, that’s a functional replica of the main character’s go-to weapon.  No, I didn’t customize it like that; I bought it from the person who did.)



anon PLEASE tell me your teacher is the author of this




Ok, I Kind of hate that I know this, but I’m pretty sure that anon’s teacher did NOT write the books the others are showing off. He wrote the darker, edgier and somehow even longer fanfic OF that fanfic called Project Horizons.
Original Fallout Equestria was written by someone known as Kkat who I’m 90% sure is a woman and the story only has some PG-13ish scenes at worst (you know, aside from the violence and gore that comes with a Fallout setting.) Project Horizons was written by a guy known as Somber, who I remember him mentioning in the post-chapter notes that he got fired for failing the wrong student once and the fic itself includes multiple explicit sex scenes.

it’s important to me u know what the 3rd printing looks like. please note the gilded pages



one of tumblr’s secret trump cards is its ability to deliver absolutely OBLITERATING gut punches like this post without any context or warning whatsoever



This is some dope fandom history and cursed tumblr ancient knowledge all at once 



    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: broadwaytheanimatedseries:

legalizememes:
smallest-feeblest-boggart:

the-hittite:

sexhaver:

sexhaver:


silverlightpony:


gayestgen:

scorch-mechanic:


goat-plushie:
Wait, there’s physical copies of Fallout Equestria? That’d have to be massive.
The first run was five hardbacks of progressively increasing girth. The stack is hefty, but the books are comfortable. Each chapter has chapter art too, which I consider a plus in all fantasy books.
Later runs were single-book softcover monstrosities. I think I saw another five-volume hardback run recently, but I’m not deeply involved in the fandom anymore.



The second print run was two volumes, hardback, with jackets.  Dunno about any subsequent runs.
I still think the 5-volume split was the best option.  It’s a big damn story.
(For anyone who hasn’t read it: yes, that’s a functional replica of the main character’s go-to weapon.  No, I didn’t customize it like that; I bought it from the person who did.)



anon PLEASE tell me your teacher is the author of this




Ok, I Kind of hate that I know this, but I’m pretty sure that anon’s teacher did NOT write the books the others are showing off. He wrote the darker, edgier and somehow even longer fanfic OF that fanfic called Project Horizons.
Original Fallout Equestria was written by someone known as Kkat who I’m 90% sure is a woman and the story only has some PG-13ish scenes at worst (you know, aside from the violence and gore that comes with a Fallout setting.) Project Horizons was written by a guy known as Somber, who I remember him mentioning in the post-chapter notes that he got fired for failing the wrong student once and the fic itself includes multiple explicit sex scenes.

it’s important to me u know what the 3rd printing looks like. please note the gilded pages



one of tumblr’s secret trump cards is its ability to deliver absolutely OBLITERATING gut punches like this post without any context or warning whatsoever



This is some dope fandom history and cursed tumblr ancient knowledge all at once 



                
            

            
            
broadwaytheanimatedseries:

legalizememes:
smallest-feeblest-boggart:

the-hittite:

sexhaver:

sexhaver:


silverlightpony:


gayestgen:...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Life comes at you fast
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: Life comes at you fast
                
            

            
            
Life comes at you fast

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

occultbreakfast:

normal-horoscopes:

viral-witchcraft:


normal-horoscopes:


pieandhotdogs:


normal-horoscopes:


trashcollectshere:

normal-horoscopes:


alchemicwizard:

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:
NOT TO DUNK ON THE ROSICRUCIANS BUT THE ROSY CROSS IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER
 - HEBREW CHARACTERS FOR A CHRISTIAN ESOTERIC SYMBOL - FOUR USES OF THE ALKALAI SYMBOL BUT NO USES OF NITRE - NICE HEXAGRAM STAR TRUST US WE ARENT ANTISEMITIC - “WHAT IF WE INCORPORATED COLOR INTO THE WORKING?“ - INRI - “IS THERE A SYMBOL FOR AIR?“ “IDK DUDE JUST DRAW A BIRD“ - “WHAT ABOUT WATER?“ “DUDE JUST PICK A WATER ZODIAC“ - “WHICH WATER ZODIAC?“ “IT DOESN’T MATTER“ - “PUT GOLD OVER THE R IN REX SO PEOPLE KNOW ITS IMPORTANT“ - OCCULT GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION

Literally every aspect of it is just awful. My Hebrew isnt as good as it should be but I’m 99% certain that Hebrew is complete gibberish. 
ALSO the water symbol looks like aquarius which I’m sure pretty much everyone is aware is an air sign. What a fucking mess. 
I remember when we studied these losers in my art and occulture class I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard at how much they suck. 

IT IS GIBBERISH BC ITS JUST THE ENTIRE ALPHABETWHICH IS LIKE AN INSECURE CHEF GETTING NERVOUS AND JUST PUTTING EVERY SEASONING THEY HAVE INTO THE POT 



I dont do occult stuff but i assume this is a mess to look at knowing the meaning but. Not knowing? The colors are awful, the symbols are placed carefully but look hard to decipher. The letters are hard to read and all around this could probably be replaced with something much easier to comphrehend and use.

EXACTLY
THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “GOOD” AND “BAD” SIGILWORK
TO SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OCCULT THE ROSY CROSS /FEELS/ LIKE IT HAS POWER BUT IT ALSO FEELS JUMBLED MESSY OVERLY COMPLICATED AND JUST PLAIN UGLY 
WHEN IT COMES TO SIGILWORK INTRICACY = POWER BUT CLARITY = ACCURACY AND THE ROSY CROSS FAILS ON BOTH FRONTS 



You wanna know what the kicker is. Aquarius *is* the symbol for air here. The upper left point of a pentagram is attributed to air. The elemental points are assigned to the fixed signs of the zodiac. That’s why we see Taurus, Leo, and Aquarius. The water point is attributed to Scorpio, but they drew an EAGLE INSTEAD OF THE SYMBOL FOR SCORPIO BECAUSE FUCK IT NOTHING MATTERS



SEE THEY ALREADY USED SCORPIO ON BEING ANTISEMITIC ON THE INRI DIAGRAM 



This looks like a fucking board game.



OH MY GOD YOURE RIGHT
IT LOOKS LIKE A PART TO SOME REDICULOUSLY COMPLEX BOARD GAME YOUR FRIEND SWORE IS THE FUNNEST THING EVER 
THE ROSY CROSS TAKES 90 MINUTES TO SET UP AND HAS FOUR DIFFERENT DECKS OF CARDS SPECIAL DICE AND TWO DIFFERENT PLASTIC HOURGLASSES 

@normal-horoscopes This reminds me of the Hermetic Chess invented by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Right down to being too colorful and overly complicated


HANG ON I NEED TO GOOGLE SOME THINGS 


MERCIFUL NIGHT 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

occultbreakfast:

normal-horoscopes:

viral-witchcraft:


normal-horoscopes:


pieandhotdogs:


normal-horoscopes:


trashcollectshere:

normal-horoscopes:


alchemicwizard:

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:
NOT TO DUNK ON THE ROSICRUCIANS BUT THE ROSY CROSS IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER
 - HEBREW CHARACTERS FOR A CHRISTIAN ESOTERIC SYMBOL - FOUR USES OF THE ALKALAI SYMBOL BUT NO USES OF NITRE - NICE HEXAGRAM STAR TRUST US WE ARENT ANTISEMITIC - “WHAT IF WE INCORPORATED COLOR INTO THE WORKING?“ - INRI - “IS THERE A SYMBOL FOR AIR?“ “IDK DUDE JUST DRAW A BIRD“ - “WHAT ABOUT WATER?“ “DUDE JUST PICK A WATER ZODIAC“ - “WHICH WATER ZODIAC?“ “IT DOESN’T MATTER“ - “PUT GOLD OVER THE R IN REX SO PEOPLE KNOW ITS IMPORTANT“ - OCCULT GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION

Literally every aspect of it is just awful. My Hebrew isnt as good as it should be but I’m 99% certain that Hebrew is complete gibberish. 
ALSO the water symbol looks like aquarius which I’m sure pretty much everyone is aware is an air sign. What a fucking mess. 
I remember when we studied these losers in my art and occulture class I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard at how much they suck. 

IT IS GIBBERISH BC ITS JUST THE ENTIRE ALPHABETWHICH IS LIKE AN INSECURE CHEF GETTING NERVOUS AND JUST PUTTING EVERY SEASONING THEY HAVE INTO THE POT 



I dont do occult stuff but i assume this is a mess to look at knowing the meaning but. Not knowing? The colors are awful, the symbols are placed carefully but look hard to decipher. The letters are hard to read and all around this could probably be replaced with something much easier to comphrehend and use.

EXACTLY
THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “GOOD” AND “BAD” SIGILWORK
TO SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OCCULT THE ROSY CROSS /FEELS/ LIKE IT HAS POWER BUT IT ALSO FEELS JUMBLED MESSY OVERLY COMPLICATED AND JUST PLAIN UGLY 
WHEN IT COMES TO SIGILWORK INTRICACY = POWER BUT CLARITY = ACCURACY AND THE ROSY CROSS FAILS ON BOTH FRONTS 



You wanna know what the kicker is. Aquarius *is* the symbol for air here. The upper left point of a pentagram is attributed to air. The elemental points are assigned to the fixed signs of the zodiac. That’s why we see Taurus, Leo, and Aquarius. The water point is attributed to Scorpio, but they drew an EAGLE INSTEAD OF THE SYMBOL FOR SCORPIO BECAUSE FUCK IT NOTHING MATTERS



SEE THEY ALREADY USED SCORPIO ON BEING ANTISEMITIC ON THE INRI DIAGRAM 



This looks like a fucking board game.



OH MY GOD YOURE RIGHT
IT LOOKS LIKE A PART TO SOME REDICULOUSLY COMPLEX BOARD GAME YOUR FRIEND SWORE IS THE FUNNEST THING EVER 
THE ROSY CROSS TAKES 90 MINUTES TO SET UP AND HAS FOUR DIFFERENT DECKS OF CARDS SPECIAL DICE AND TWO DIFFERENT PLASTIC HOURGLASSES 

@normal-horoscopes This reminds me of the Hermetic Chess invented by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Right down to being too colorful and overly complicated


HANG ON I NEED TO GOOGLE SOME THINGS 


MERCIFUL NIGHT 
                
            

            
            
normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

occultbreakfast:

normal-horoscopes:

viral-witchcraft:


normal-horoscopes:


pieandhotdogs:


n...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Comes: With great power comes great responsibility
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: With great power comes great responsibility
                
            

            
            
With great power comes great responsibility

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Everything comes with a price!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: Everything comes with a price!
                
            

            
            
Everything comes with a price!

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: When the man comes around
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: When the man comes around
                
            

            
            
When the man comes around

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: She comes here everyday to give him a kiss and then leaves…
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: She comes here everyday to give him a kiss and then leaves…
                
            

            
            
She comes here everyday to give him a kiss and then leaves…

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: When the man comes around
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: When the man comes around
                
            

            
            
When the man comes around

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: When the man comes around
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: When the man comes around
                
            

            
            
When the man comes around

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: From great power, comes great diabetes.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: From great power, comes great diabetes.
                
            

            
            
From great power, comes great diabetes.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: Cuando te comes una patata hiper caliente.Y aun así es más fácil de tragar que la última temporada Juego de Tronos.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: Cuando te comes una patata hiper caliente.Y aun así es más fácil de tragar que la última temporada Juego de Tronos.
                
            

            
            
Cuando te comes una patata hiper caliente.Y aun así es más fácil de tragar que la última temporada Juego de Tronos.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: “When your successful neighborhood rehab comes to visit you for company instead of food!”(Source)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: “When your successful neighborhood rehab comes to visit you for company instead of food!”(Source)
                
                

                
            

            
            
“When your successful neighborhood rehab comes to visit you for company instead of food!”(Source)

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Comes: “My dad is retired now and helped with rehabilitating a squirrel he found. The squirrel comes back daily for snacks, pets, and fights.“(Source)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Comes: “My dad is retired now and helped with rehabilitating a squirrel he found. The squirrel comes back daily for snacks, pets, and fights.“(Source)
                
                

                
            

            
            
“My dad is retired now and helped with rehabilitating a squirrel he found. The squirrel comes back daily for snacks, pets, and fights.“(S...