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    Anaconda, Spider, and SpiderMan: SO YOU'RE
 SAYING EVERY
 TIME GARGAN OR
 BROCK HAS BEEN
 INCARCERATED-
 5
 -WHILE
 BONDED WITH THIS
 ALIEN CREATURE,
 THEY'VE BEEN
 PERMITTED TO KEEP
 IT ON THEIR
 PERSON?!
 YES! EVEN
 THOUGH WE'VE
 KNOWN WE COULD
 REMOVE IT
 WITH SONIC
 BLASTS!
 BLAME THE
 ACLU AND PETA!
 THEY LOBBIED FOR
 THE RIGHTS OF
 THE SYMBIOTE!
 UNBELIEVABLE!
 WHY NOT LET HIM
 CARRY A LOADED
 FIREARM WHILE
 THEY'RE
 AT IT?!
symbisexual-disaster:
cassowarykisses:

Even though we’ve known we could remove [the symbiote] with sonic blasts [we weren’t allowed to]! Blame the ACLU and PETA! They lobbied for the rights of the symbiote!
on a meta level, this is an attempt by the writers to come up with an in-universe reason for Venom never being broken up into human  symbiote when they’ve been arrested (and also take a dig at the ACLU and PETA)
but in-universe? the raw implications of the ACLU having a successful symbiote rights campaign that happens entirely offscreen and is never mentioned again? 
when did this campaign happen? 
who spearheaded it? Eddie did date two lawyers (Anne Weying and Beck Underwood) - were they involved in any capacity?
did the ACLU actually sue on behalf of the symbiote? if so, what judge presided over this? what new fields of case law have been opened up by this? what existing case law is there in the Marvel universe for the rights of mutants and extraterrestrials?
who were the witnesses in this case? even if it never went to court and was a 100% an ACLU campaign to get people to appeal to their representatives on behalf of symbiotes, you could still have expert witnesses called to Congress. you probably can’t subpoena Spider-Man, since his identity isn’t public, but what about Reed Richards (since he had the symbiote in captivity at least once)? what about various prison therapists and case managers? Matt Murdock, since he represented Venom in the Venom: On Trial miniseries?
there is an entire court drama waiting to be written here and this throwaway line will never be touched on again

This is insane hahaha

That awkward moment when a comic universe PETA is more progressive than the real one.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Anaconda, Spider, and SpiderMan: SO YOU'RE
 SAYING EVERY
 TIME GARGAN OR
 BROCK HAS BEEN
 INCARCERATED-
 5
 -WHILE
 BONDED WITH THIS
 ALIEN CREATURE,
 THEY'VE BEEN
 PERMITTED TO KEEP
 IT ON THEIR
 PERSON?!
 YES! EVEN
 THOUGH WE'VE
 KNOWN WE COULD
 REMOVE IT
 WITH SONIC
 BLASTS!
 BLAME THE
 ACLU AND PETA!
 THEY LOBBIED FOR
 THE RIGHTS OF
 THE SYMBIOTE!
 UNBELIEVABLE!
 WHY NOT LET HIM
 CARRY A LOADED
 FIREARM WHILE
 THEY'RE
 AT IT?!
symbisexual-disaster:
cassowarykisses:

Even though we’ve known we could remove [the symbiote] with sonic blasts [we weren’t allowed to]! Blame the ACLU and PETA! They lobbied for the rights of the symbiote!
on a meta level, this is an attempt by the writers to come up with an in-universe reason for Venom never being broken up into human  symbiote when they’ve been arrested (and also take a dig at the ACLU and PETA)
but in-universe? the raw implications of the ACLU having a successful symbiote rights campaign that happens entirely offscreen and is never mentioned again? 
when did this campaign happen? 
who spearheaded it? Eddie did date two lawyers (Anne Weying and Beck Underwood) - were they involved in any capacity?
did the ACLU actually sue on behalf of the symbiote? if so, what judge presided over this? what new fields of case law have been opened up by this? what existing case law is there in the Marvel universe for the rights of mutants and extraterrestrials?
who were the witnesses in this case? even if it never went to court and was a 100% an ACLU campaign to get people to appeal to their representatives on behalf of symbiotes, you could still have expert witnesses called to Congress. you probably can’t subpoena Spider-Man, since his identity isn’t public, but what about Reed Richards (since he had the symbiote in captivity at least once)? what about various prison therapists and case managers? Matt Murdock, since he represented Venom in the Venom: On Trial miniseries?
there is an entire court drama waiting to be written here and this throwaway line will never be touched on again

This is insane hahaha

That awkward moment when a comic universe PETA is more progressive than the real one.
                
            

            
            
symbisexual-disaster:
cassowarykisses:

Even though we’ve known we could remove [the symbiote] with sonic blasts [we weren’t allowed to]! Bl...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
                
            

            
            
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’