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Anaconda, Ass, and Bitch: If she comes to ur house wearing these ur 100% getting laid douggiehouse Let me tell you about this one time when I was a virgin ass dude. This was about 2 hrs ago. I text this chick and tell her to come over so we can do my laundry together. I legit don't know how to do laundry and really wanted some professional help. I get my white tee shirts mixed with different colors bc I just don't know how it works. Anyways she slides thru my apt in some basket ball shorts and sports bra. I thought maybe she wanted to do flutter kicks after we got done doing laundry. As soon as she comes in she goes to my room and grabs the henny bottle I keep in my bathroom and starts drinking. Oh I keep the henny there for my bowel movements. Somehow henny helps wit that. So she's drinking and I'm like ok I get it bc I drink too before I do my laundry bc that shit be stressful. I was asking her how to properly wash my olive green rompers so they don't shrink and in the midst of that she grabs my dick and says "you hand wash it." I was like bet. And one thing lead to another and next thing you know I'm hitting her with the weakest strokes as I'm asking her Q&As about laundry. This is how it went. girl: ah fuck me Me: yea cool. I'm doing that now. So I gotta turn the machine to heavy duty for only sheets right? Her: yes daddy. Talk dirty to me Me: your coochie feels like my cum sock....crusty as shit. Oh speaking of socks, can I throw in my purple socks with my black socks? Or it gotta be the same color Her: yea yea yea yea Me: lol ok lil uzi I still don't know how to do laundry... and I feel like that bitch took advantage of me.
Anaconda, Ass, and Bitch: If she comes to ur house wearing
 these ur 100% getting laid
 douggiehouse
Let me tell you about this one time when I was a virgin ass dude. This was about 2 hrs ago. I text this chick and tell her to come over so we can do my laundry together. I legit don't know how to do laundry and really wanted some professional help. I get my white tee shirts mixed with different colors bc I just don't know how it works. Anyways she slides thru my apt in some basket ball shorts and sports bra. I thought maybe she wanted to do flutter kicks after we got done doing laundry. As soon as she comes in she goes to my room and grabs the henny bottle I keep in my bathroom and starts drinking. Oh I keep the henny there for my bowel movements. Somehow henny helps wit that. So she's drinking and I'm like ok I get it bc I drink too before I do my laundry bc that shit be stressful. I was asking her how to properly wash my olive green rompers so they don't shrink and in the midst of that she grabs my dick and says "you hand wash it." I was like bet. And one thing lead to another and next thing you know I'm hitting her with the weakest strokes as I'm asking her Q&As about laundry. This is how it went. girl: ah fuck me Me: yea cool. I'm doing that now. So I gotta turn the machine to heavy duty for only sheets right? Her: yes daddy. Talk dirty to me Me: your coochie feels like my cum sock....crusty as shit. Oh speaking of socks, can I throw in my purple socks with my black socks? Or it gotta be the same color Her: yea yea yea yea Me: lol ok lil uzi I still don't know how to do laundry... and I feel like that bitch took advantage of me.

Let me tell you about this one time when I was a virgin ass dude. This was about 2 hrs ago. I text this chick and tell her to come over so w...

Android, Ass, and Bitch: Only dating him so I have someone to Disney with @ε›ž (0 Only dating you so I have something to cum orn Only dating him so I have someone tc Disney with @ε›ž I've heard worse comebacks from couples. I'm at six flags waiting in these long ass lines because they charge a arm and a leg for the damn fast pass. I'm bout to ride Eltoro. I'm standing behind this couple as I wait. The argument started because the dude drank all of his girls milkshake. I could understand the temperature was hot as balls. Everybody is trying to gets trapped in and they still going at it. It's getting fierce now. The rise starts and We at all the top. The guy next to me is cracking up at them. They in the midst of the fiercest roast session and the guy starts snapchating it. You know how roller coasters be pausing for a second. Nah this sucker just shot off. My spleen was hunping my heart. A nigga whole insides got jacked up. Her wig gets blown off when homie hit the meanest Obj and caught that shit. He deserved a hiesman. The dude next to me had to be the one nigga to drop his phone on a ride. Good for his ass he had a android. The ride stops and the guy gives his girl the wig back. She says "Thanks my bitch now let me get some of your "milk shake" when we get to the car". My nigga if that's not true love I don't know what is. I need me a real one like that some day ❀️.
Android, Ass, and Bitch: Only dating him so I have someone
 to Disney with @ε›ž
 (0
 Only dating you so I have
 something to cum orn
 Only dating him so I have someone tc
 Disney with @ε›ž
I've heard worse comebacks from couples. I'm at six flags waiting in these long ass lines because they charge a arm and a leg for the damn fast pass. I'm bout to ride Eltoro. I'm standing behind this couple as I wait. The argument started because the dude drank all of his girls milkshake. I could understand the temperature was hot as balls. Everybody is trying to gets trapped in and they still going at it. It's getting fierce now. The rise starts and We at all the top. The guy next to me is cracking up at them. They in the midst of the fiercest roast session and the guy starts snapchating it. You know how roller coasters be pausing for a second. Nah this sucker just shot off. My spleen was hunping my heart. A nigga whole insides got jacked up. Her wig gets blown off when homie hit the meanest Obj and caught that shit. He deserved a hiesman. The dude next to me had to be the one nigga to drop his phone on a ride. Good for his ass he had a android. The ride stops and the guy gives his girl the wig back. She says "Thanks my bitch now let me get some of your "milk shake" when we get to the car". My nigga if that's not true love I don't know what is. I need me a real one like that some day ❀️.

I've heard worse comebacks from couples. I'm at six flags waiting in these long ass lines because they charge a arm and a leg for the damn f...

Ass, Bitch, and Cum: When your mom walks in on you beating your meat and you gotta act like you was giving yourself a testicular exam @atlsavagee nC "Oh tarter sauce! You are so fucking tight." Patrick groaned, his eyes closed. He leaned forward to remove SpongeBob's gag. "I wanna hear you scream for me." He slowly began moving in and out, eyes still closed. As SpongeBob felt himself widening, he began to come back to his senses. This shouldn't be happening. They were friends. Friends didn't do this. "Patrick, please... I... we shouldn't.." as SpongeBob protested, Patrick reached his hand down to play with SpongeBob's genitals. SpongeBob groaned loudly as wave after wave of pleasure washed over him. "Yes! Harder! Smack my ass and call me a whore!" Patrick blinked in surprise before giving a savage grin as he quickly complied. "Yeah! Ya like that, don't'cha, bitch?!" "Yes! Yes! Fuck me, Patrick! Fuck me hard!" Patrick began ramming forward, smacking SpongeBob's ass. "Yeah! Take it, whore!" Patrick moved his hand to fondle SpongeBob again. "Cum in my hand! Cum in my hand!" SpongeBob felt a pressure build up inside of him. He wasn't sure what the feeling was, but he felt that if he'd just let himself go, he'd reach nirvana. Complying with own wishes, he let himself go. The orgasm caught him by surprise. SpongeBob screamed as he felt his seed wash over Patrick's hand.
Ass, Bitch, and Cum: When your mom walks in on you
 beating your meat and you gotta act
 like you was giving yourself a
 testicular exam
 @atlsavagee
 nC
"Oh tarter sauce! You are so fucking tight." Patrick groaned, his eyes closed. He leaned forward to remove SpongeBob's gag. "I wanna hear you scream for me." He slowly began moving in and out, eyes still closed. As SpongeBob felt himself widening, he began to come back to his senses. This shouldn't be happening. They were friends. Friends didn't do this. "Patrick, please... I... we shouldn't.." as SpongeBob protested, Patrick reached his hand down to play with SpongeBob's genitals. SpongeBob groaned loudly as wave after wave of pleasure washed over him. "Yes! Harder! Smack my ass and call me a whore!" Patrick blinked in surprise before giving a savage grin as he quickly complied. "Yeah! Ya like that, don't'cha, bitch?!" "Yes! Yes! Fuck me, Patrick! Fuck me hard!" Patrick began ramming forward, smacking SpongeBob's ass. "Yeah! Take it, whore!" Patrick moved his hand to fondle SpongeBob again. "Cum in my hand! Cum in my hand!" SpongeBob felt a pressure build up inside of him. He wasn't sure what the feeling was, but he felt that if he'd just let himself go, he'd reach nirvana. Complying with own wishes, he let himself go. The orgasm caught him by surprise. SpongeBob screamed as he felt his seed wash over Patrick's hand.

"Oh tarter sauce! You are so fucking tight." Patrick groaned, his eyes closed. He leaned forward to remove SpongeBob's gag. "I wanna hear yo...

Comfortable, Confused, and Cum: Guy: *takes her to hammer town for 45 seconds Did you cum babe? Hello to the new followers, my name is Jimmy Von Trapp and I am a Men's Rights Activist. Make yourself comfortable, I serve tea and Twix on a Thursday so look out for that. As a yute, I was taught by the older dons to treat your woman like a jewel on the roads, and like fowl that needs tenderising and seasoning in the bedroom. Nobody taught me about this "lovemaking" shit. All slow and looking deep in eyes and all that. I grew up with John Witherspoon showing me about "BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG". Getting older I learnt though, one part was thanks to a woman that was older than me, she was like Yoda explaining how I should use the force. Another part was the "erotic" section on Pornhub. Bare soft music and foreplay was giving young Jim extra-curricular qualifications fi dem. With all that said though, as Imam @abubanter4 taught me, "a man cannot be judged on round one." Do you women know how much of an amazing thing it is for a man to buss his gun after a matter of minutes? Pumpum so sweet you have to tell her "don't touch me". Narns so good you gotta fuck up the pillow. Soon-soon so spectacular, you go sleep, wake up, and get confused on where you are. Through all this confusion, we still have the common decency to ask "did you cum", and you with your stern face wanna be angry at the world. "Get off me please." Now you wanna go in the bathroom and laugh at your phone. "Babe I was looking at this meme on @rowlito87's page." Yeah? Say wallah? So why is your WhatsApp open in your "Zante 2017 Hoez 🍹πŸ₯‚ πŸ’‹πŸ’„πŸ’…πŸΌπŸ‘" and the last message is Melissa saying "I told you looooool"? Dirty harlots of Mordor, we have feelings too you know. Now I gotta pick my balled-up boxers and get dressed in silence like some thot. We need to stop this brothers, tag a friend so they can tag a friend and spread awareness. Let's heal the world, one premature ejaculator at a time.
Comfortable, Confused, and Cum: Guy: *takes her to hammer town
 for 45 seconds
 Did you cum babe?
Hello to the new followers, my name is Jimmy Von Trapp and I am a Men's Rights Activist. Make yourself comfortable, I serve tea and Twix on a Thursday so look out for that. As a yute, I was taught by the older dons to treat your woman like a jewel on the roads, and like fowl that needs tenderising and seasoning in the bedroom. Nobody taught me about this "lovemaking" shit. All slow and looking deep in eyes and all that. I grew up with John Witherspoon showing me about "BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG". Getting older I learnt though, one part was thanks to a woman that was older than me, she was like Yoda explaining how I should use the force. Another part was the "erotic" section on Pornhub. Bare soft music and foreplay was giving young Jim extra-curricular qualifications fi dem. With all that said though, as Imam @abubanter4 taught me, "a man cannot be judged on round one." Do you women know how much of an amazing thing it is for a man to buss his gun after a matter of minutes? Pumpum so sweet you have to tell her "don't touch me". Narns so good you gotta fuck up the pillow. Soon-soon so spectacular, you go sleep, wake up, and get confused on where you are. Through all this confusion, we still have the common decency to ask "did you cum", and you with your stern face wanna be angry at the world. "Get off me please." Now you wanna go in the bathroom and laugh at your phone. "Babe I was looking at this meme on @rowlito87's page." Yeah? Say wallah? So why is your WhatsApp open in your "Zante 2017 Hoez 🍹πŸ₯‚ πŸ’‹πŸ’„πŸ’…πŸΌπŸ‘" and the last message is Melissa saying "I told you looooool"? Dirty harlots of Mordor, we have feelings too you know. Now I gotta pick my balled-up boxers and get dressed in silence like some thot. We need to stop this brothers, tag a friend so they can tag a friend and spread awareness. Let's heal the world, one premature ejaculator at a time.

Hello to the new followers, my name is Jimmy Von Trapp and I am a Men's Rights Activist. Make yourself comfortable, I serve tea and Twix on ...