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Da Real Mvp: The best surprise passenger you can have next to you on a flight @DrSmashlove Now see bruv this used to be my favorite emoji: 🤗. He go by many names. Some call him Johnny Jazz Hands. I happen to call him Lil Smashington the IV, Chief Cheek Inspector, Sargeant Spreader the Nani Deader. U feel me? That’s what he doing. Opening them cheeks and delightedly admiring and inhaling the contents 🤗. But Lil Smashington has competition, bruv. Major competition. Because his Uncle Jameson Worthington VI of South Cambridgeshire bruv? Or Lil James Worthy aka the Monocle Maestro aka Scotland Yard’s Inspector of the Interior bruv? He ain’t just opening and peeking, bruv. Unc is inspecting every fold 🧐. Every skretch mark 🧐. Every lil cellulite dot 🧐. If he so much as spots an in-grown hair he gon annotate it in his Most Profitable and Efficient Bird Watching Journal; A Chronicle of Uncle Worthy’s Travels and Conquests, in which he records birds he sees in the wild such as cardinals and robin red breasts as well as birds he encounters in the bedroom 🧐. Lil Smashington basic AF bruv he get in the cheeks and he like “yum, sweet as sugar cane 😍.” Nah. Hells nah. Unc gon take a single taste and then fetch his notebook and quill pen and record the flavor notes for posterity: “Seventh of December, Two Thousand and Seventeen years after the birth of The Blessed Son of Mary. Name: Stephanie Smith. Age: approximately two score and three. Height: roughly one and one half oak barrels. Slender with supple bosom, posterior, ample hips, delightful countenance. Hair of auburn. Flavor notes: molasses; sugarplum; purée of mango; heavy whipping cream.” U feel me bruv? And Stephanie just gon sit patiently while Unc engages in his scientific field research, replaces his notebook in satchel and his quill pen in his ink well so he can go ham and bananington on the Nani 🐗. Ladies and Gentlemen I have a patron saint. A spirit animal. Me, in emoji form. A true enjoyer of the female form in all its delightful complexity. Monocle Emoji, in a difficult year of pain and suffering in many pockets of the world, u bring hope and inspiration to the masses 🧐. Unc...U da real MVP 🧐🧐🧐😂😂😂
Da Real Mvp: The best surprise passenger you can have
 next to you on a flight
 @DrSmashlove
Now see bruv this used to be my favorite emoji: 🤗. He go by many names. Some call him Johnny Jazz Hands. I happen to call him Lil Smashington the IV, Chief Cheek Inspector, Sargeant Spreader the Nani Deader. U feel me? That’s what he doing. Opening them cheeks and delightedly admiring and inhaling the contents 🤗. But Lil Smashington has competition, bruv. Major competition. Because his Uncle Jameson Worthington VI of South Cambridgeshire bruv? Or Lil James Worthy aka the Monocle Maestro aka Scotland Yard’s Inspector of the Interior bruv? He ain’t just opening and peeking, bruv. Unc is inspecting every fold 🧐. Every skretch mark 🧐. Every lil cellulite dot 🧐. If he so much as spots an in-grown hair he gon annotate it in his Most Profitable and Efficient Bird Watching Journal; A Chronicle of Uncle Worthy’s Travels and Conquests, in which he records birds he sees in the wild such as cardinals and robin red breasts as well as birds he encounters in the bedroom 🧐. Lil Smashington basic AF bruv he get in the cheeks and he like “yum, sweet as sugar cane 😍.” Nah. Hells nah. Unc gon take a single taste and then fetch his notebook and quill pen and record the flavor notes for posterity: “Seventh of December, Two Thousand and Seventeen years after the birth of The Blessed Son of Mary. Name: Stephanie Smith. Age: approximately two score and three. Height: roughly one and one half oak barrels. Slender with supple bosom, posterior, ample hips, delightful countenance. Hair of auburn. Flavor notes: molasses; sugarplum; purée of mango; heavy whipping cream.” U feel me bruv? And Stephanie just gon sit patiently while Unc engages in his scientific field research, replaces his notebook in satchel and his quill pen in his ink well so he can go ham and bananington on the Nani 🐗. Ladies and Gentlemen I have a patron saint. A spirit animal. Me, in emoji form. A true enjoyer of the female form in all its delightful complexity. Monocle Emoji, in a difficult year of pain and suffering in many pockets of the world, u bring hope and inspiration to the masses 🧐. Unc...U da real MVP 🧐🧐🧐😂😂😂

Now see bruv this used to be my favorite emoji: 🤗. He go by many names. Some call him Johnny Jazz Hands. I happen to call him Lil Smashin...

Da Real Mvp: She was an old dog when she moved in with us - nine years old at the time. Last month she turned old enough to be able to vote Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the punctuation is all in the right place it’s almost like wtf? If u so fired up how u typing so good ma sumting wong 🤔. Nah. Lemme see that urgency. “Omg daddy that would feel so goog please dady”. Yes ma’am! I’m there! This wasn’t no cut and paste! Stop it ladies I know some of y’all in the game like magazine editors out dis bih. Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief and sh*t bruv “83 ways to please your man” lookin a$$, ol “Lemme grab this perfect photograph with optimal lighting from when Obama was just elected and it was a better time and lemme pair it with this text that has worked 11 times before” and the man usually buy it just like “omg Karen you’re AMAZING lol heck 😍”. Nah. I be searching the room for clues. “That Dell laptop look like a college joint ma. Freshman special lmao. Paid $899 at orientation at the campus bookstore lookin a$$. Lemme find out this pic is circa 2008. This pic turning 10 next year. We need to celebrate the taking of this pic ma u need to retire this pic...Nine years of service ma that pic need a pension and a retiree health care plan” 😂. Nah. Send me a hastily worded text u typed with one hand (😍) and pair it with a pic where yo hair look a mess and u laying in bed talmbout “pardon the mess and pardon my cat he’s an a$$hole” send me THAT. All natural. U feel me? NOTHING AGAINST MAKEUP I LOVE U LADIES AND YALL ONE INCH THICK MAKEUP TUTORIAL EYEBROWS WITH THE MASTERFULLY DONE FADE BUT I ALSO LOVE U WITH YA NORMAL EYEBROWS, BAGS UNDER YA EYES, SKRETCH MARKS, NANI STUBBLE WITH THE SKRAGGLY BUCKSHOT STRAY SHORT HAIR RIGHT WHERE THE THIGH MEAT CREASES TO MEET THE NANI REGION (Lil Atticus Pubicus u doing the best u can u escaped the razor this time and u be gone by next time but u fought the good fight, u da real MVP 🏅😂), CELLULITE, OTHER “imperfections”, I’LL TAKE ANY DAY OVER A PIC FROM WHEN JA RULE WAS SO HOT THAT JAY-Z MADE A MUSICAL GROUP WITH HIM (all u lil babies out there please google ‘Murder Inc.’, this happened 🤗, don’t say smash never taught u nothing BLESS UP 😩😂😂😂)
Da Real Mvp: She was an old dog when she
 moved in with us - nine years
 old at the time. Last month she
 turned old enough to be able
 to vote
Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the punctuation is all in the right place it’s almost like wtf? If u so fired up how u typing so good ma sumting wong 🤔. Nah. Lemme see that urgency. “Omg daddy that would feel so goog please dady”. Yes ma’am! I’m there! This wasn’t no cut and paste! Stop it ladies I know some of y’all in the game like magazine editors out dis bih. Cosmopolitan Editor-in-Chief and sh*t bruv “83 ways to please your man” lookin a$$, ol “Lemme grab this perfect photograph with optimal lighting from when Obama was just elected and it was a better time and lemme pair it with this text that has worked 11 times before” and the man usually buy it just like “omg Karen you’re AMAZING lol heck 😍”. Nah. I be searching the room for clues. “That Dell laptop look like a college joint ma. Freshman special lmao. Paid $899 at orientation at the campus bookstore lookin a$$. Lemme find out this pic is circa 2008. This pic turning 10 next year. We need to celebrate the taking of this pic ma u need to retire this pic...Nine years of service ma that pic need a pension and a retiree health care plan” 😂. Nah. Send me a hastily worded text u typed with one hand (😍) and pair it with a pic where yo hair look a mess and u laying in bed talmbout “pardon the mess and pardon my cat he’s an a$$hole” send me THAT. All natural. U feel me? NOTHING AGAINST MAKEUP I LOVE U LADIES AND YALL ONE INCH THICK MAKEUP TUTORIAL EYEBROWS WITH THE MASTERFULLY DONE FADE BUT I ALSO LOVE U WITH YA NORMAL EYEBROWS, BAGS UNDER YA EYES, SKRETCH MARKS, NANI STUBBLE WITH THE SKRAGGLY BUCKSHOT STRAY SHORT HAIR RIGHT WHERE THE THIGH MEAT CREASES TO MEET THE NANI REGION (Lil Atticus Pubicus u doing the best u can u escaped the razor this time and u be gone by next time but u fought the good fight, u da real MVP 🏅😂), CELLULITE, OTHER “imperfections”, I’LL TAKE ANY DAY OVER A PIC FROM WHEN JA RULE WAS SO HOT THAT JAY-Z MADE A MUSICAL GROUP WITH HIM (all u lil babies out there please google ‘Murder Inc.’, this happened 🤗, don’t say smash never taught u nothing BLESS UP 😩😂😂😂)

Shout to u ladies whose grammar and spelling turn poor AF when u s€xt!ng bruv. In fact when the grammar-spelling too on point and the pun...

Da Real Mvp: This guy is da real mvp This guy could carry that bitch across the Sahara, he still ain't gettin no ass with them sandals..
Da Real Mvp: This guy is da real mvp
This guy could carry that bitch across the Sahara, he still ain't gettin no ass with them sandals..

This guy could carry that bitch across the Sahara, he still ain't gettin no ass with them sandals..

Da Real Mvp: MONS You da real MVP, KD. NBA nbafinals
Da Real Mvp: MONS
You da real MVP, KD. NBA nbafinals

You da real MVP, KD. NBA nbafinals