🔥 25+ Best Memes About Dilbert

Dilbert: ILL PROBABLY EXPERIENCE DESPAIR AND LONELINESS WHILE BEING JEALOUS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE SUBSTANCE ABUSE PROBLEMS. DO YOU HAVE PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND? I'M AN INTRO- VERT. Dilbert.com @ScottAdamsSays me_irl

me_irl

Dilbert: ILL PROBABLY EXPERIENCE DESPAIR AND LONELINESS WHILE BEING JEALOUS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE SUBSTANCE ABUSE PROBLEMS. DO YOU HAVE PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND? I'M AN INTRO- VERT. Dilbert.com @ScottAdamsSays me_irl by Siniroth MORE MEMES

me_irl by Siniroth MORE MEMES

Dilbert: I PROMOTED TED TO SOFTWARE ARCHITECT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO CODE. YOU KNOW THE MONKEYS DON'T FLY AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS A BAD IDEA. THEN I REMEMBERED THAT SOMETIMES MONKEYS ARE ASTRO- THE ROCKET, RIGHT? AND TED WON'T BE WRITING NAUTS. CODE. Dilbert.com @ScottAdamsSays 7-18-17 2017 Scott Adams, Inc/Dist. by Andrews McMeel Alright, fair enough

Alright, fair enough

Dilbert: WILL THERE EVER BE AN ENGINEER WHO SAYS, "THAT LAST GUY DID A GREAT JOB LET'S KEEP ALL OF IT"? THE PROJECTI INHERITED HAS WEAK CODE. I NEED TO REWRITE IT FROM SCRATCH IM HOPING THE IDIOT YOU HIRE TO REPLACE ME SAYS THAT. Dilbert.com DilbertCartoonist@gmail.com This Dilbert is relevant at work frequently, but I had trouble finding it. So reposting.

This Dilbert is relevant at work frequently, but I had trouble finding it. So reposting.

Dilbert: DILBERT BY SCOTT ADAMS FIRST OF ALL WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH? ILL NEED TO KNOW YOUR REQUIREMENTS BEFORE I START TO DESIGN THE SOFTWARE I MEAN WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH WITH THE SOFTWARE? IM TRYING TO MAKE YOU DESIGN MY SOFTWARE TRY TO GET THIS CONCEPT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL: THE SOFTWARE CAN DO WHATEVER I DESIGN IT TO DO I WON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN ACCOMPLISH UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHAT THE SOFTWARE CAN DO CAN YOU DESIGN IT TO TELL YOU MY REQUIREMENTS? COTTADAMS www.dilbert.com 2006 Scott Adams, Inc.t by UfS. Demands…

Demands…

Dilbert: YOU CAN'T I NEED TO KNOW WHY MOVING YOU WOULDN'T SOLVE A LET ME RE- OUR APP TO THE CLOUD DIDN'T PROBLEM JUST ARCHITECT THE JUST PUT IT AUTOMATICALLY SOLVE ALL OUR By SAYING PROBLEMS APP TO BE IN TECHY THINGS, KUBERNETES CLOUD-NATIVE. CONTAINERS Dilbert.com @ScottAdamsSays 11-08-17 2017 Scott Adams, Inc/Dist. by Andrews McMeel Distributed system.

Distributed system.

Dilbert: YOU CAN'T I NEED TO KNOW WHY MOVING YOU WOULDN'T SOLVE A LET ME RE- OUR APP TO THE CLOUD DIDN'T PROBLEM JUST ARCHITECT THE JUST PUT IT AUTOMATICALLY SOLVE ALL OUR By SAYING PROBLEMS APP TO BE IN TECHY THINGS, KUBERNETES CLOUD-NATIVE. CONTAINERS Dilbert.com @ScottAdamsSays 11-08-17 2017 Scott Adams, Inc/Dist. by Andrews McMeel Buzzword bingo in your face

Buzzword bingo in your face

Dilbert: I WANT YOU TO TAKE OVER TED'S SOFTWARE UPGRADE. CAN YOU FINISH THAT IN A WEEK? ARE YOU KIDDING? IT WILL TAKE A WEEK JUST TO BAD-MOUTH IS THAT LIKE WATER TO A FISH HIS EXISTING CODE TNE EVER YONE WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE. NECES SARY? Dilbert knows what's up.

Dilbert knows what's up.

Dilbert: ONLY DEATH CAN 50... BAD GRAPHICS. RELEASEA T ME! Dilbert counts as a comic, yeah?

Dilbert counts as a comic, yeah?

Dilbert: Jr. Developer 2 days Sr. Developer Depends www.dilbert.com How long will it take?

How long will it take?

Dilbert: DILBERT BY SCOTT ADAMS ILL NEED TO KNOW YOUR REQUIREMENTS BEFORE I START TO 8 FIRST OF ALL WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH? I'M TRYING TO MAKE YOU DESIGN MY SOFTWARE I MEAN WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH WITH THE SOFTWARE? DESIGN THE SOFTWARE. I WONT KNOW WHAT I CAN ACCOMPLISH UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHAT THE SOFTWARE CAN DO. TRY TO GET THIS CONCEPT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL: THE SOFTWARE CAN DO WHATEVER I DESIGN IT TO DO! CAN YOU DESIGN IT TO TELL YOU (MY REQUIREMENTS? O Scott Adams, Inc./Dist. by UFS, Inc. Requirements Engineering Lecture 1

Requirements Engineering Lecture 1

Dilbert: Sunday June 12, 2016 DILBERT BY SCOTT ADAMS I SIMPLIFIED THE USER INTERFACE AS YOU SUGGESTED YOU WANTED BUTTON TO D0 ELEVEN DIFFERENT FUNCTIONS IT WASN'T EASY BUT I THINK YOU'LL BE PLEASED IF YOU WANT TO TURN UP THE YOU SUGGES TED.TD ONE VOLUME. YOU HOLD THE BUTTON FOR EXACTLY FIVE SECONDS THEN DOUBLE-TAP AND DOUBLE-TAP AGAIN. THEN HOLD FOR EXACTLY SIX SECONDS. OR YOU COULD ADMIT THAT YOU DON'T KNOw ANYTHING ABOUT THEN PRESS IT ALL THE WAY DOWN, THEN HALFWAY UP, THEN 27% BACK DOWN. AND HOLD INTERFACE DESIGN FOR NINE SECONDS. NEVER! Interface Design

Interface Design

Dilbert: UC Berkeley Loses Major Donor THIS IS WAR UC BERKELEY LOSES MAJOR DONOR Scott Adams, the creator of the popular comic strip Dilbert got his MBA at UC Berkeley and has remained a top donor, both in money and time. After the recent riots, where Democrat terrorists Antifa set fires, vandalized property and beat Trump supporters unconscious, Adams had pulled his funding from the troubled liberal university Scott Adams Follow @ScottAdams Says I'm ending my financial and other support for #UCBerkeley (for my safety) bit.ly/216U07p #MiloYiannopoulos #Hitler 7:11 PM 3 Feb 2017 2AMERICANLEXCEPTIONALISM Bye, bye Berkeley - UCBerkeley loses major donor ScottAdams, cartoonist creator of Dilbert, over 1A FreeSpeech issue

Bye, bye Berkeley - UCBerkeley loses major donor ScottAdams, cartoonist creator of Dilbert, over 1A FreeSpeech issue

Dilbert: "Cartooning is just a hobby for me. My real passion is mentally manipulating people into thinking that voting matters, that humans rule the world, and that Dilbert is funny." — Scott Adams

"Cartooning is just a hobby for me. My real passion is mentally manipulating people into thinking that voting matters, that humans rule t...

Dilbert: DILBERT DO YOU HAVE ANY LONG TERM GOALS? JUST DEATH. WHAT'S YOUR LONG-TERM PLAN? DEATH ITS ISN'T A THE GOAL. BEST KIND I PLAN TO USE BRAIN IMAGING TECHNOLOGY TO MAP MY MIND. THIS WAY, I CAN GO OUT AS A WINNER. THEN ILL CREATE A DIGITAL COPY OF MYSELF TO LIVE FOREVER IN A SOFT WARE SIMULATION. BY SCOTT ADAMS WITH MY LAST BREATH, I PLAN TO DO A FIST PUMP AND YELL, I DID IT! GIVE UNLESS YOURSELF I ALREADY A FIST DID. PUMP, JUST IN CASE. Dilbert

Dilbert

Dilbert: DO YOU HAVE ANY LONG-TERM GOALS? JUST DEATH. woo'llew boss!uooueguaqiia ST UA JE YR UNE YE- AL oVGO DANG HO Dilbert

Dilbert

Dilbert: THE MATRIX. HANDSOME DILBERT KUNG FUJESUS inngfip com The Matrix summary

The Matrix summary

Dilbert: WHY IS IT UNETHICAL MORALITY IS BASED ON S FOR HUMANS TO CLONE i ACCEPTED NORMS. AND IT'S SELF THEMSELVES? ACCEPTED NORMS ARE CAUSING? BASED ON MORALITY e IRONI CALLY, YES Dilbert

Dilbert

Dilbert: #FALLONTONIGHT ISAW IN A RECENT INTERVIEW, THE POPE SAID THAT HE FELT “USED” BY CERTAIN PEOPLE WHO ONLY PAY ATTENTION TO HIM WHEN THEY NEEDSOMETHING. THEN GOD WAS LIKE, “UM, HELLO! THAT'S 99% OF MY DAY!" <h2><a href="http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/video/dilbert-creator-compares-donald-trump-to-jesus-monologue/2906497" target="_blank">“Please make my fantasy football team win! Please, God!”</a></h2>

<h2><a href="http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/video/dilbert-creator-compares-donald-trump-to-jesus-monologue/2906497" target="_blank">...

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