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Amazon, Bad, and Be Like: My first Halloween without a husband, but I still have a good couples' costume. Pic: reddit u/Tela99 @DrSmashlove I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS WOMAN BUT I’VE ALREADY CREATED AN ENTIRE NARRATIVE IN MY HEAD THAT HER NAME IS HOLLY AND SHE LIVES IN SEATTLE AND HER FAVORITE SPOT TO ENJOY A CRAFT BEER IS STOUP BREWING AND SHE’S A CONTRACTOR FOR AMAZON WHO WORKS FROM HOME AND ENJOYS HIKES WITH HER PUP. ALSO I’VE DETERMINED THAT HER EX WHOSE NAME IS DEFINITELY STEVE IS AN UGLY, MEAN PERSON WHO SH!TTED ON HER. SADLY WHEN MY IMAGINATION RUNS WILD LIKE THIS I COULD BE ABSOLUTELY WRONG BUT IT’S REALLY HARD TO DISABUSE ME OF MY IMAGINATIONS LIKE STEVE’S BEST FRIEND RICK COULD DM ME LIKE “Yeah, ok, first of all, ‘funnyman’...Her name is Lisa. Second, my best friend’s name is Jim. Third, Jim is a saint - he runs a small soup kitchen for Seattle’s homeless. Fourth, Lisa is the most vapid, miserable human I’ve ever met. We were horrified when Jim married Lisa. Dude...she’s wearing UGGS in the pic. Did that not tip you off(?)” AND I’D BE LIKE “THANK U RICK BUT FIRST OF ALL HE’S STEVE AND SECOND OF ALL YOUR NAME ISN’T RICK IT’S JULIUS AND THIRD OF ALL JULIUS IN MY IMAGINATION YOU’RE A BAD INFLUENCE WHO TOOK STEVE TO BOY’S WEEKENDS IN VEGAS WHERE U AND HIM DID TERRIBLE THINGS WHILE HOLLY WAS AT HOME CRYING INTO HER STOUP BEER PLEASE DON’T CONTACT ME ANY LONGER BLESS UP” WhatsWrongWithMe alot BlessUpHolly LoveYouMama 🤗😂😂😂
Amazon, Bad, and Be Like: My first Halloween without a husband, but I
 still have a good couples' costume.
 Pic: reddit u/Tela99
 @DrSmashlove
I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS WOMAN BUT I’VE ALREADY CREATED AN ENTIRE NARRATIVE IN MY HEAD THAT HER NAME IS HOLLY AND SHE LIVES IN SEATTLE AND HER FAVORITE SPOT TO ENJOY A CRAFT BEER IS STOUP BREWING AND SHE’S A CONTRACTOR FOR AMAZON WHO WORKS FROM HOME AND ENJOYS HIKES WITH HER PUP. ALSO I’VE DETERMINED THAT HER EX WHOSE NAME IS DEFINITELY STEVE IS AN UGLY, MEAN PERSON WHO SH!TTED ON HER. SADLY WHEN MY IMAGINATION RUNS WILD LIKE THIS I COULD BE ABSOLUTELY WRONG BUT IT’S REALLY HARD TO DISABUSE ME OF MY IMAGINATIONS LIKE STEVE’S BEST FRIEND RICK COULD DM ME LIKE “Yeah, ok, first of all, ‘funnyman’...Her name is Lisa. Second, my best friend’s name is Jim. Third, Jim is a saint - he runs a small soup kitchen for Seattle’s homeless. Fourth, Lisa is the most vapid, miserable human I’ve ever met. We were horrified when Jim married Lisa. Dude...she’s wearing UGGS in the pic. Did that not tip you off(?)” AND I’D BE LIKE “THANK U RICK BUT FIRST OF ALL HE’S STEVE AND SECOND OF ALL YOUR NAME ISN’T RICK IT’S JULIUS AND THIRD OF ALL JULIUS IN MY IMAGINATION YOU’RE A BAD INFLUENCE WHO TOOK STEVE TO BOY’S WEEKENDS IN VEGAS WHERE U AND HIM DID TERRIBLE THINGS WHILE HOLLY WAS AT HOME CRYING INTO HER STOUP BEER PLEASE DON’T CONTACT ME ANY LONGER BLESS UP” WhatsWrongWithMe alot BlessUpHolly LoveYouMama 🤗😂😂😂

I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS WOMAN BUT I’VE ALREADY CREATED AN ENTIRE NARRATIVE IN MY HEAD THAT HER NAME IS HOLLY AND SHE LIVES IN SEATT...

Aww, Bless Up, and Emoji: r/aww u/ButZebrasCantSmell 18h i.redd.it This little guy followed me home and then fell asleep on my lap, so l guess I have a dog now @DrSmashlove See bruv it’s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan and let loose the juice and she just do this grin: 😌. Like “it’s ok baby I understand 😌 this Nani feels like silk soaked in honey and coated in mango juice 😌 I don’t expect u to last more than a few strokes 😌 it’s the price of having A1 Nani 😌.” Like that’s literally what this emoji was based off of - it’s the “it’s ok my adorable Minute Man 😌” emoji 😂. Now then, Type 2: she ain’t playing bruv. Type 2 came here for some proper pipe and yo early arrival mean u just deprived her of the value of her investment. She ain’t having it. U let out half a moan - not even a full moan and groan - just literally “AHP-“ and her eyes turn red. Her face morph into the face of a she-devil 👹. Horns emerge straight on her head top. And she always say the same thing: “NOT...YET!!!! 👿” and then she hit u with the Type 2 leg lock Bruv. She wrap her arms and legs around u like: “YOU MINUTE MAN LOOKIN A$$ I’M NOT GON LET U PULL OUT IMMA HAVE YO BABY TO TEACH U A LESSON ABOUT BUSTING EARLY U THOUGHT SH!T WAS SWEET WELL LEMME TELL U HOW SWEET: EVERY TIME U LOOK IN THE FACE OF THIS BABY U GON REMEMBER THE TIME U THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO BUST AFTER A FEW STROKES - HELL NAW - NOW GIMME THIS WORK AND LET ME NAME THIS BABY WITHOUT CONSULTING U. “Zeena”. ISSA GREEK NAME THAT MEANS “stranger, guest” WHICH IS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE IMMA HAVE FULL CUSTODY AND U GON SHOW UP WITH MY MONTHLY SUPPORT AS A GUEST IN A CRIB *YOU* PAYING FOR HOWBOWDAH 👿.” And u thinking “naw baby relax it’s all good round 2 gon be amazing 😬” and she just like “sorry I had other plans after this, expect to get served with a DNA test in 9 months bless up.” Type 2 ladies imma need y’all to learn from yo Type 1 sisters. Embrace the fact that your Nani A1. Give him another chance. U ain’t gotta go off and have his baby to teach him a lesson - let him cool his jets and give u the bidness one mo ‘gain. And if he bust early, cut him off forever. AND THEN DM ME IMMEEJALLY BECAUSE IT MEAN U GOT THAT UNICORN NANI AND WE SHOULD GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHIRREN BLESS UP 🤗😂😂😂
Aww, Bless Up, and Emoji: r/aww
 u/ButZebrasCantSmell 18h i.redd.it
 This little guy followed me home and
 then fell asleep on my lap, so l guess I
 have a dog now
 @DrSmashlove
See bruv it’s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan and let loose the juice and she just do this grin: 😌. Like “it’s ok baby I understand 😌 this Nani feels like silk soaked in honey and coated in mango juice 😌 I don’t expect u to last more than a few strokes 😌 it’s the price of having A1 Nani 😌.” Like that’s literally what this emoji was based off of - it’s the “it’s ok my adorable Minute Man 😌” emoji 😂. Now then, Type 2: she ain’t playing bruv. Type 2 came here for some proper pipe and yo early arrival mean u just deprived her of the value of her investment. She ain’t having it. U let out half a moan - not even a full moan and groan - just literally “AHP-“ and her eyes turn red. Her face morph into the face of a she-devil 👹. Horns emerge straight on her head top. And she always say the same thing: “NOT...YET!!!! 👿” and then she hit u with the Type 2 leg lock Bruv. She wrap her arms and legs around u like: “YOU MINUTE MAN LOOKIN A$$ I’M NOT GON LET U PULL OUT IMMA HAVE YO BABY TO TEACH U A LESSON ABOUT BUSTING EARLY U THOUGHT SH!T WAS SWEET WELL LEMME TELL U HOW SWEET: EVERY TIME U LOOK IN THE FACE OF THIS BABY U GON REMEMBER THE TIME U THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO BUST AFTER A FEW STROKES - HELL NAW - NOW GIMME THIS WORK AND LET ME NAME THIS BABY WITHOUT CONSULTING U. “Zeena”. ISSA GREEK NAME THAT MEANS “stranger, guest” WHICH IS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE IMMA HAVE FULL CUSTODY AND U GON SHOW UP WITH MY MONTHLY SUPPORT AS A GUEST IN A CRIB *YOU* PAYING FOR HOWBOWDAH 👿.” And u thinking “naw baby relax it’s all good round 2 gon be amazing 😬” and she just like “sorry I had other plans after this, expect to get served with a DNA test in 9 months bless up.” Type 2 ladies imma need y’all to learn from yo Type 1 sisters. Embrace the fact that your Nani A1. Give him another chance. U ain’t gotta go off and have his baby to teach him a lesson - let him cool his jets and give u the bidness one mo ‘gain. And if he bust early, cut him off forever. AND THEN DM ME IMMEEJALLY BECAUSE IT MEAN U GOT THAT UNICORN NANI AND WE SHOULD GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHIRREN BLESS UP 🤗😂😂😂

See bruv it’s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan ...