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    Beard, Benadryl, and Bless Up: u/bofstein . 2d. imgur
 I asked to be seated next to the cutest guy
 on the plane
 @DrSmashlove
Now see a lot of people on airplanes bruv, they tryina dodge oversized people. They ain’t tryina spend the whole flight shmushed. I feel that. I understand that. But me? Aw hell nah. Big ladies y’all always welcome to sit next to smash. Call me Negan baby girl - leather biker jacket with the beard - let me be yo Sanctuary 🤗😂. Hell I even ask if she wanna raise the divider. Divider actually make it worse! Sh!t be causing flesh to intrude into my space unnaturally. Pokes me awkwardly and makes me hella uncomfortable, nah IDGAF Mama melt into me, invade my space, fall asleep on my shoulder, just get comfortable. And the last time I offered, ol girl did it, too. Schlept like he just popped two Benadryl slobbering on my damn shoulder. Flight attendant talmbout “do you know what your friend wants to drink when she wakes up?” I’m like “I don’t know this woman!! Anyway Diet Coke tho I’m pretty sure she like Diet Coke Issa wild guess yes just poe it up pls thank you” 😂. Did her snore sound like the groans of a wild warthog with a fractured leg bone bruv? Yes. Did I mind? No sir. I’m an ally to the big girls. Bring yo curvaceous, aggressive deodorant scented essence here guh it’s plenty room for both of us. I squat all damn day at the gym, my thigh musculature enjoys the company of a soft, supple flight companion 🤗😂. Now I know what y’all thinking: “SMASH YOUR FANTASIES ARE OVERBOARD, THIS DIDN’T HAPPEN”. Question: if my stories was made up, wouldn’t I try to say I used to date Halle Berry or some sh!t? Chilli from TLC? I mean...wouldn’t I tell a lie that boosts my ego? Nah. Never. My story is my story. BIG GIRLS REST THEY WEARY HEAD ON MY SHOULDER. FACTS, B - DEAL WITH IT - BIG GIRLS I LOVE YALL, U NEVER HAVE TO SHEEPISHLY ASK IF MY MAN BAG PURSE SATCHEL IS SAVING THE SEAT FOR SOMEONE ELSE - IT’S SAVING IT FOR YOUR DELIGHTFULLY ROTUND A$$ — HAVE A SEAT MAMA, I BELIEVE WE CAN FLY - BLESS UP 🤗😍😂😂😂
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Beard, Benadryl, and Bless Up: u/bofstein . 2d. imgur
 I asked to be seated next to the cutest guy
 on the plane
 @DrSmashlove
Now see a lot of people on airplanes bruv, they tryina dodge oversized people. They ain’t tryina spend the whole flight shmushed. I feel that. I understand that. But me? Aw hell nah. Big ladies y’all always welcome to sit next to smash. Call me Negan baby girl - leather biker jacket with the beard - let me be yo Sanctuary 🤗😂. Hell I even ask if she wanna raise the divider. Divider actually make it worse! Sh!t be causing flesh to intrude into my space unnaturally. Pokes me awkwardly and makes me hella uncomfortable, nah IDGAF Mama melt into me, invade my space, fall asleep on my shoulder, just get comfortable. And the last time I offered, ol girl did it, too. Schlept like he just popped two Benadryl slobbering on my damn shoulder. Flight attendant talmbout “do you know what your friend wants to drink when she wakes up?” I’m like “I don’t know this woman!! Anyway Diet Coke tho I’m pretty sure she like Diet Coke Issa wild guess yes just poe it up pls thank you” 😂. Did her snore sound like the groans of a wild warthog with a fractured leg bone bruv? Yes. Did I mind? No sir. I’m an ally to the big girls. Bring yo curvaceous, aggressive deodorant scented essence here guh it’s plenty room for both of us. I squat all damn day at the gym, my thigh musculature enjoys the company of a soft, supple flight companion 🤗😂. Now I know what y’all thinking: “SMASH YOUR FANTASIES ARE OVERBOARD, THIS DIDN’T HAPPEN”. Question: if my stories was made up, wouldn’t I try to say I used to date Halle Berry or some sh!t? Chilli from TLC? I mean...wouldn’t I tell a lie that boosts my ego? Nah. Never. My story is my story. BIG GIRLS REST THEY WEARY HEAD ON MY SHOULDER. FACTS, B - DEAL WITH IT - BIG GIRLS I LOVE YALL, U NEVER HAVE TO SHEEPISHLY ASK IF MY MAN BAG PURSE SATCHEL IS SAVING THE SEAT FOR SOMEONE ELSE - IT’S SAVING IT FOR YOUR DELIGHTFULLY ROTUND A$$ — HAVE A SEAT MAMA, I BELIEVE WE CAN FLY - BLESS UP 🤗😍😂😂😂
                
            

            
            
Now see a lot of people on airplanes bruv, they tryina dodge oversized people. They ain’t tryina spend the whole flight shmushed. I feel tha...