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        🔥 | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            







    dos: memes brasileiros ; dia dos namorados ; comédia
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                dos: memes brasileiros ; dia dos namorados ; comédia
                
            

            
            
memes brasileiros ; dia dos namorados ; comédia

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    dos: Por que no los dos?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                dos: Por que no los dos?
                
            

            
            
Por que no los dos?

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    dos: No me lo digas dos veces.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                dos: No me lo digas dos veces.
                
            

            
            
No me lo digas dos veces.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    dos: wiselwisel:

Cuando estás meando con tus amigas entre dos coches y uno enciende las luces.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                dos: wiselwisel:

Cuando estás meando con tus amigas entre dos coches y uno enciende las luces.
                
            

            
            
wiselwisel:

Cuando estás meando con tus amigas entre dos coches y uno enciende las luces.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    dos: sabanasblancasuniverse:

@Luis_pastor


Por eso es dos personas en una.Ahora todo en-cajal
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                dos: sabanasblancasuniverse:

@Luis_pastor


Por eso es dos personas en una.Ahora todo en-cajal
                
            

            
            
sabanasblancasuniverse:

@Luis_pastor


Por eso es dos personas en una.Ahora todo en-cajal

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    dos: Why dos the management hire experts if they do not listen to them?!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                dos: Why dos the management hire experts if they do not listen to them?!
                
            

            
            
Why dos the management hire experts if they do not listen to them?!

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    dos: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality
 or
 Preparing for the End
 or
 Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm
 Stuck Dealing With This Mess
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as: 
Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and
how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and
Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some
shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. 
It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.
I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)


@ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission.

YES, please share it!
And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. 


Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. 
But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. 
I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died.
You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK.
I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate.
But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap.
This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. 
This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. 

Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with. 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                dos: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality
 or
 Preparing for the End
 or
 Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm
 Stuck Dealing With This Mess
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as: 
Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and
how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and
Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some
shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. 
It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.
I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)


@ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission.

YES, please share it!
And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. 


Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. 
But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. 
I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died.
You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK.
I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate.
But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap.
This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. 
This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. 

Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with. 
                
            

            
            
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of b...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    dos: TELEGPANLEEROR
luisonte:

¿Cinta o salir a correr?.. ¿por qué no las dos cosas
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                dos: TELEGPANLEEROR
luisonte:

¿Cinta o salir a correr?.. ¿por qué no las dos cosas
                
                

                
            

            
            
luisonte:

¿Cinta o salir a correr?.. ¿por qué no las dos cosas

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    dos: Ahora tiene dos juguetes, jaque mate
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                dos: Ahora tiene dos juguetes, jaque mate
                
            

            
            
Ahora tiene dos juguetes, jaque mate

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    dos: Amanda Brutti
 Eu fui em um velório e
 dei parabéns pro
 genro do falecido, ele
 agradeceu, fingimos
 demência até hoje,
 não sei qual dos dois
 estava mais no
 automático
 186
 Erica Victor
 Eu sou atendente de
 padaria aí esses dias
 chegou uma cliente, só
 que antes dela fazer o
 pedido ela me desejou
 boa tarde, eu perguntei:
 A senhora deseja algo
 mais? Kkkkklkkkk
 SD563
 Elizabeth Tavares
 Na época do SAC eu
 sempre atendia aqui em
 casa: "Sodexo bom dia
 Elizabeth em que posso
 ajudar" sem querer. Num
 belo dia uma operadora
 ativa de cobrança do Itaú
 ligou, lembro que ela
 bugou no outro lado da
 linha e disse: "desculpa,
 foi engano" e eu em
 seguida: "imagina, o
 engano foi meu, pode
 falar" ela respondeu:
 gostaria de falar com a
 senhora Elizabeth, é a
 senhora?
 - Sim, por gentileza me
 confirme seu nome
 completo e CPF
 362
 21 h
 Curtir
 Responder
 Mais
 Gabriela Tambelini
 O maior bug do meu
 cérebro:
 Estava fazendo carinho do
 meu cachorro. Nesse
 momento minha mãe me
 ofereceu um pedaço de
 carne de churrasco, e
 nisso q eu ia dar um
 beijinho no meu dog eu
 virei pra minha mãe e beijei
 a carne. ATE HJ NAO
 ACREDITO Q FIZ ISSO
 21 h
 Curtir Responder Mais
 Mariana Araújo
 Uma vez fui comprar um
 picolé, escolhi e enquanto o
 moço foi buscar o picolé eu
 fiquei lendo o cardápio... ele
 voltou, entregou o picolé, eu
 paguei e ele disse "obrigado!"
 Eu respondi "PICOLÉ!"
 КАКАКАКАКАКАКАКА ate
 hoje não entendi nada
 20
 Guilherme Oettinger Garbi
 Minha tia tava abastecendo
 O carro e o frentista
 perguntou "e o óleo
 senhora, como tá?" E
 minha tia respondeu "tá
 bem, graças a Deus"....
 esse cara deve pensar que
 minha tia ama muito do
 óleo do carro dela
 46
 Negdo!
 Jean Leblanc @SrJean L.. 17h
 .ComBr
 Eu cruzei com a vizinha no
 corredor, ela disse "olá", porém
 meu cérebro estava configurado
 no modo "oi", entao eu respondi
 "olói"
 EMO @talita_drnlls 18h
 Em resposta a @wwwmlna
 Uma vez a mulher me deu um
 pisão no pé, me pediu desculpas e
 ao invés de responder "rlx, não foi
 nada" respondi "imagina, obrigada
 você". UM MÊS PENSANDO NA
 MERDA QUE EU FALE
 laís
 @laiscrztt 21h
 Em resposta a @wwwmlna
 na vida eu sou o cliente...
 teve uma vez que eu tava
 passando na frente da tv e
 esbarrei nela sem querer
 pedi desculpa pro william bonner
 AhNegão.com.br
Alguns casos de pessoas que tiveram uma pane mental inexplicável
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                dos: Amanda Brutti
 Eu fui em um velório e
 dei parabéns pro
 genro do falecido, ele
 agradeceu, fingimos
 demência até hoje,
 não sei qual dos dois
 estava mais no
 automático
 186
 Erica Victor
 Eu sou atendente de
 padaria aí esses dias
 chegou uma cliente, só
 que antes dela fazer o
 pedido ela me desejou
 boa tarde, eu perguntei:
 A senhora deseja algo
 mais? Kkkkklkkkk
 SD563
 Elizabeth Tavares
 Na época do SAC eu
 sempre atendia aqui em
 casa: "Sodexo bom dia
 Elizabeth em que posso
 ajudar" sem querer. Num
 belo dia uma operadora
 ativa de cobrança do Itaú
 ligou, lembro que ela
 bugou no outro lado da
 linha e disse: "desculpa,
 foi engano" e eu em
 seguida: "imagina, o
 engano foi meu, pode
 falar" ela respondeu:
 gostaria de falar com a
 senhora Elizabeth, é a
 senhora?
 - Sim, por gentileza me
 confirme seu nome
 completo e CPF
 362
 21 h
 Curtir
 Responder
 Mais
 Gabriela Tambelini
 O maior bug do meu
 cérebro:
 Estava fazendo carinho do
 meu cachorro. Nesse
 momento minha mãe me
 ofereceu um pedaço de
 carne de churrasco, e
 nisso q eu ia dar um
 beijinho no meu dog eu
 virei pra minha mãe e beijei
 a carne. ATE HJ NAO
 ACREDITO Q FIZ ISSO
 21 h
 Curtir Responder Mais
 Mariana Araújo
 Uma vez fui comprar um
 picolé, escolhi e enquanto o
 moço foi buscar o picolé eu
 fiquei lendo o cardápio... ele
 voltou, entregou o picolé, eu
 paguei e ele disse "obrigado!"
 Eu respondi "PICOLÉ!"
 КАКАКАКАКАКАКАКА ate
 hoje não entendi nada
 20
 Guilherme Oettinger Garbi
 Minha tia tava abastecendo
 O carro e o frentista
 perguntou "e o óleo
 senhora, como tá?" E
 minha tia respondeu "tá
 bem, graças a Deus"....
 esse cara deve pensar que
 minha tia ama muito do
 óleo do carro dela
 46
 Negdo!
 Jean Leblanc @SrJean L.. 17h
 .ComBr
 Eu cruzei com a vizinha no
 corredor, ela disse "olá", porém
 meu cérebro estava configurado
 no modo "oi", entao eu respondi
 "olói"
 EMO @talita_drnlls 18h
 Em resposta a @wwwmlna
 Uma vez a mulher me deu um
 pisão no pé, me pediu desculpas e
 ao invés de responder "rlx, não foi
 nada" respondi "imagina, obrigada
 você". UM MÊS PENSANDO NA
 MERDA QUE EU FALE
 laís
 @laiscrztt 21h
 Em resposta a @wwwmlna
 na vida eu sou o cliente...
 teve uma vez que eu tava
 passando na frente da tv e
 esbarrei nela sem querer
 pedi desculpa pro william bonner
 AhNegão.com.br
Alguns casos de pessoas que tiveram uma pane mental inexplicável
                
            

            
            
Alguns casos de pessoas que tiveram uma pane mental inexplicável