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Party, Donuts, and Kids: REX I took a picture of the moment my two kids realised all the donuts at the party had been eaten while they were off playing on the swings
Party, Donuts, and Kids: REX
I took a picture of the moment my two kids realised all the donuts at the party had been eaten while they were off playing on the swings

I took a picture of the moment my two kids realised all the donuts at the party had been eaten while they were off playing on the swings

Books, Dating, and Dogs: Keaton Patti Follow eKeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch LAWYER (CONT'D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'l help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT'D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun. We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1 break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT'D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge's gavel for you The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth LAWYER (CONT D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado LAWYER (CONT 'D) Remember, you don't pay any money unless you pay us money. Call for a free use of phone The phone digits appear. It's your social security number A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this
Books, Dating, and Dogs: Keaton Patti
 Follow
 eKeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of lawyer commercials and then asked it
 to write a lawyer commercial of its own.
 Here is the first page
 LAWYER COMMERCIAL
 INT. FIRM LAW ROOM
 A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books
 are
 very wide. They have eaten too many words
 LAWYER
 Have you been hurt in an accidental
 car? Has the government sold your
 lungs without asking nicely? Are
 you Mesothelioma? Answer me!
 The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the
 justice fruit only lawyers may touch
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 If so, you can act entitled for
 money. I'l help. I graduated from
 lawn school and all my teachers
 were bitten by dogs
 Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the
 lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0
 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS.
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 I have been a lawyer for over 35
 weekends and I'm currently dating
 the Bill of Rights for fun.
 We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1
 break its heart. There's nothing we can do.
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 Let me use it to send your asbestos
 to court. I will wear two suits and
 I promise to steal the judge's
 gavel for you
 The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of
 gavels pour out. His promise has worth
 LAWYER (CONT D)
 My clients never go to jail town
 We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado
 LAWYER (CONT 'D)
 Remember, you don't pay any money
 unless you pay us money. Call for a
 free use of phone
 The phone digits appear. It's your social security number
A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

Bodies , Chipotle, and Girl Scouts: PS Products A 10 PS Products Knuckle Blaster is a 950,000V Stun Gun with Batteries & Magnetic Leather Holster ea List Price: $69.99 Price: $62.54 Victory! By tdoog- May 5, 2013 I purchased this after I was confronted by punks demanding that I hand over my money. I'm a relatively fit guy, but I was no match for them. That is when I realized that I need to protect myself. The day after I bought this product I went to the very same Wal-Mart parking lot when I was first mugged. I approached the group of hooligans standing outside the entrance, concealing my secret weapon. some I cooly asked "Remember me?" One of them looked up and said, "Have you com back to buy some Samoas or Thin Mints? My Gi Scout Troop needs to raise more money!" I replied with "you're not taking my money this time". "But sir, they're delicious!", she said. I whipped out my Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun hand and shouted "WRONG MOVE B****" The five giri scouts ran away screaming. As I pounded my chest in victory, I accidentally activated the stun gun and applied 950,000 Volts to my right nipple. I woke up 4 hours later to the sound of heavy footsteps. Those Girl Scouts had brought their fathers. But I was ready. I lunged at the largest one with a cry of "RAGGLE FRAGGLE!!!" and hit him in the stomach. He hit the ground harder than a fat kid on a jungle gym. As the others began to circle around me,I changed techniques. Holding both of my hands in tight fists, I rased my arms to my sides and initiated the helicopter spin. They all backed off, fearing my impressive RPM. After a while I started getting dizzy, and one of the fathers decided to try to tackle me. As he ran to me stood there, dizzy and queasy; time was going real slow. Then I remembered. I had eaten lunch at Chipotle and the burrito was fighting its way back up my stomach. I tuned toward my enemy and launched a stream of projectile vomit at him, knocking him to the ground. Then I started singing "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the.... FLOOO00RRR!!!" I grabbed my Knuckle Blasher Stun Gun and shoved it into my mouth, running headfirst at my foes, electrocuting them with my teeth. Eventually they were all unconscious, and I walked home victorious. 2,144 of 2,383 people found this review helpful worth the read
Bodies , Chipotle, and Girl Scouts: PS Products
 A 10
 PS Products Knuckle Blaster is a 950,000V Stun Gun
 with Batteries & Magnetic Leather Holster
 ea
 List Price: $69.99
 Price: $62.54
 Victory!
 By tdoog- May 5, 2013
 I purchased this after I was confronted by
 punks demanding that I hand over my money. I'm
 a relatively fit guy, but I was no match for them.
 That is when I realized that I need to protect
 myself. The day after I bought this product I went
 to the very same Wal-Mart parking lot when I was
 first mugged. I approached the group of
 hooligans standing outside the entrance,
 concealing my secret weapon.
 some
 I cooly asked "Remember me?"
 One of them looked up and said, "Have you com
 back to buy some Samoas or Thin Mints? My Gi
 Scout Troop needs to raise more money!"
 I replied with "you're not taking my money this
 time". "But sir, they're delicious!", she said.
 I whipped out my Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun hand
 and shouted "WRONG MOVE B****" The five giri
 scouts ran away screaming.
 As I pounded my chest in victory, I accidentally
 activated the stun gun and applied 950,000 Volts
 to my right nipple. I woke up 4 hours later to the
 sound of heavy footsteps. Those Girl Scouts had
 brought their fathers. But I was ready. I lunged at
 the largest one with a cry of "RAGGLE
 FRAGGLE!!!" and hit him in the stomach. He hit
 the ground harder than a fat kid on a jungle gym.
 As the others began to circle around me,I
 changed techniques. Holding both of my hands
 in tight fists, I rased my arms to my sides and
 initiated the helicopter spin. They all backed off,
 fearing my impressive RPM. After a while I
 started getting dizzy, and one of the fathers
 decided to try to tackle me. As he ran to me stood
 there, dizzy and queasy; time was going real
 slow. Then I remembered. I had eaten lunch at
 Chipotle and the burrito was fighting its way back
 up my stomach.
 I tuned toward my enemy and launched a stream
 of projectile vomit at him, knocking him to the
 ground. Then I started singing "Let the bodies hit
 the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies
 hit the.... FLOOO00RRR!!!"
 I grabbed my Knuckle Blasher Stun Gun and
 shoved it into my mouth, running headfirst at my
 foes, electrocuting them with my teeth.
 Eventually they were all unconscious, and I
 walked home victorious.
 2,144 of 2,383 people found this review helpful
worth the read

worth the read