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enlightened: my satisfaction is immeasurable and my day is enlightened
 enlightened: my satisfaction is immeasurable and my day is enlightened

my satisfaction is immeasurable and my day is enlightened

enlightened: I feel…. enlightened
 enlightened: I feel…. enlightened

I feel…. enlightened

enlightened: 0,A 24% 5:15 Bread Saturday 938 PM I'm ready to get this bread U sure about that?? Oh yeah, I'm always ready for bread Do you like bread? I fucking love bread Do you like getting choked? Saturday 1116 PM Excuse me? Oh c'mon, you know the 'Let's get this bread' meme but not the "Do you like bread" meme? What a disappointment ....I'm unaware of that meme Follow up question: Will you come over tomorrow? Ahhhhh l've been enlightened If you're gonna be bread you've gotta go all the way, dig deep, and become the bread you were meant to be Saturday 11:43 PM You're right I was so unprepared It's all rye-te. You'll do breader next time Damn I need to step my bread game up If you don't improve soon people like me are going to show you up and you'll be toast Today 12:52 AM FRANK you're killing me Sorry, I'm just on a roll Bread? I really can't think of anything damn I made this account for fun now I feel inadequate Wow, usually it's the other people on tinder making me feel inadequate, this is s nice change of pace. There's no need to feel sourdough, cheer up! You're a fuckin baller frank I'm glad I could help Thanks, now I don't feel so pita-ful anymore I've been hitting you with these bread puns naan-stop I hope it hasn't been bothering you too much I fuckin love it how are you so damn clever Are you googling bread puns Nope, just coming up with them off of the top of my bread Marry me I don't think I'm bready for that kind of commitment yet... I appreciate the offer dough My heart is broken frank You're just moving a little too fast for me is all. If we just slow down and take our time I promise it'll be worth the wheat Today 1:58 AM I loaf you There you go, now you're getting it. Donut give up you're doing great Well, it's time for me to bake a nap, I can hit you with more bread puns after my yeast rises out of bed in the morning You bread my mind!! Today 4:49 PM Btw do you mind if I post this conversation to Breaddit and get some karma? Today 5:15 PM Dude go for it GIF Type a I was bready for this
 enlightened: 0,A 24%
 5:15
 Bread
 Saturday 938 PM
 I'm ready to get this bread
 U sure about that??
 Oh yeah, I'm always ready for bread
 Do you like bread?
 I fucking love bread
 Do you like getting choked?
 Saturday 1116 PM
 Excuse me?
 Oh c'mon, you know the 'Let's get this bread' meme
 but not the "Do you like bread" meme?
 What a disappointment
 ....I'm unaware of that meme
 Follow up question:
 Will you come over tomorrow?
 Ahhhhh l've been enlightened
 If you're gonna be bread you've gotta go all the way,
 dig deep, and become the bread you were meant to
 be
 Saturday 11:43 PM
 You're right I was so unprepared
 It's all rye-te. You'll do breader next time
 Damn I need to step my bread game up
 If you don't improve soon people like me are going to
 show you up and you'll be toast
 Today 12:52 AM
 FRANK you're killing me
 Sorry, I'm just on a roll
 Bread?
 I really can't think of anything damn
 I made this account for fun now I feel inadequate
 Wow, usually it's the other people on tinder making me
 feel inadequate, this is s nice change of pace. There's
 no need to feel sourdough, cheer up!
 You're a fuckin baller frank I'm glad I could help
 Thanks, now I don't feel so pita-ful anymore
 I've been hitting you with these bread puns naan-stop
 I hope it hasn't been bothering you too much
 I fuckin love it how are you so damn clever
 Are you googling bread puns
 Nope, just coming up with them off of the top of my
 bread
 Marry me
 I don't think I'm bready for that kind of commitment
 yet... I appreciate the offer dough
 My heart is broken frank
 You're just moving a little too fast for me is all. If we
 just slow down and take our time I promise it'll be
 worth the wheat
 Today 1:58 AM
 I loaf you
 There you go, now you're getting it. Donut give up
 you're doing great
 Well, it's time for me to bake a nap, I can hit you with
 more bread puns after my yeast rises out of bed in the
 morning
 You bread my mind!!
 Today 4:49 PM
 Btw do you mind if I post this conversation to Breaddit
 and get some karma?
 Today 5:15 PM
 Dude go for it
 GIF
 Type a
I was bready for this

I was bready for this

enlightened: zaynsamosa white person: eats chicken tikka masala once* i just... i feel so connected... to indian culture... I'm learning to speak islam.... check out my third eye..... chakra teaboot Every time see this. Every damn time. I'm immediately sucked back into my fuckin. Fuckin English lit class with Mr. Fuckass McShit. Mr. "Hit the gong to begin class", "Namaste, Children", "l wanna go backpacking in India to find my spiritual awakening and also my left burkinstock that I lost during a cedar sauna drum circle" ass bastard. "Do you want to share your poetry with the class to get in touch with your emotions" ass fucker. Mr. "Here's a photograph of a tribal shaman, describe him using nature words" asshole. Pretentious- ass, condescending motherfucker. "Do you want to tell us about your saddest memory?" "I dunno, sir. Are you giving me an option?" "No." "Then why are you asking" Every goddamn day. Fuck. "You seem tense." Oh, I seem tense? I seem tense. Well fuck, Professor Pillsbury, maybe l 'seem tense' because I walk into a room on five hours of sleep to the sound of a goddamn brass gong drilling through my brain and your seven- foot-nine, socks-and-sandals-wearing, patchouli- smelling ass immediately gravitates in my direction with some shit like "a tree......... Is a Poem" and I gotta sit here and politely tell you that No I'm Not Comfortable Telling The Class About A Time I Was Emotionally Vulnerable With A Loved One using words that sound like the way the color yellow smells. Maybe l don't wanna sit in a circle and hold hands with Brittney from Computer Sciences to "align our auras" or some shit Fuck. Fuuuuuuck. I swear to God, if I wanted to sing kumbaya' with a smelly old guy with gross facial hair who writes bad porn on the side, I'd go out to the parking lot and share a Hookah with Crazy Dan, the disgraced electrician. What, I don't wanna do an interpretive dance to represent the spiritual experience of eating Quinoa in a room full of ambivalent preteens and suddenly I'm the 'troubled youth' you need to Robin Williams "O Captain My Captain" your way into having a Paternal Bonding Moment powerful enough to Expand My Impressionable Young Mind and Turn My Life Around, you goddamn saint, you? Jesus Fucking Christ. You insufferable jackass. You're not "Enlightened", you rolled out of bed and ate half a pot brownie, wrote a sad song about a leaf, and strolled into class to ramble about your Spirit Animal for six hours straight before calling it a day. Holy Jesus goddamned Christ. Fucking Balls, sir. Holy Fucking Balls Source: zintersoldier #Teaboot 238,334 notes Sep 29th, 2018 a tree Is a Poem
 enlightened: zaynsamosa
 white person: eats chicken tikka masala once* i just...
 i feel so connected... to indian culture... I'm learning
 to speak islam.... check out my third eye..... chakra
 teaboot
 Every time see this. Every damn time. I'm immediately
 sucked back into my fuckin. Fuckin English lit class
 with Mr. Fuckass McShit. Mr. "Hit the gong to begin
 class", "Namaste, Children", "l wanna go backpacking
 in India to find my spiritual awakening and also my left
 burkinstock that I lost during a cedar sauna drum
 circle" ass bastard. "Do you want to share your poetry
 with the class to get in touch with your emotions" ass
 fucker. Mr. "Here's a photograph of a tribal shaman,
 describe him using nature words" asshole. Pretentious-
 ass, condescending motherfucker. "Do you want to tell
 us about your saddest memory?" "I dunno, sir. Are you
 giving me an option?" "No." "Then why are you asking"
 Every goddamn day. Fuck. "You seem tense." Oh, I
 seem tense? I seem tense. Well fuck, Professor
 Pillsbury, maybe l 'seem tense' because I walk into a
 room on five hours of sleep to the sound of a goddamn
 brass gong drilling through my brain and your seven-
 foot-nine, socks-and-sandals-wearing, patchouli-
 smelling ass immediately gravitates in my direction with
 some shit like "a tree......... Is a Poem" and I gotta sit
 here and politely tell you that No I'm Not Comfortable
 Telling The Class About A Time I Was Emotionally
 Vulnerable With A Loved One using words that sound
 like the way the color yellow smells. Maybe l don't
 wanna sit in a circle and hold hands with Brittney from
 Computer Sciences to "align our auras" or some shit
 Fuck. Fuuuuuuck. I swear to God, if I wanted to sing
 kumbaya' with a smelly old guy with gross facial hair
 who writes bad porn on the side, I'd go out to the
 parking lot and share a Hookah with Crazy Dan, the
 disgraced electrician. What, I don't wanna do an
 interpretive dance to represent the spiritual experience
 of eating Quinoa in a room full of ambivalent preteens
 and suddenly I'm the 'troubled youth' you need to
 Robin Williams "O Captain My Captain" your way into
 having a Paternal Bonding Moment powerful enough to
 Expand My Impressionable Young Mind and Turn My
 Life Around, you goddamn saint, you? Jesus Fucking
 Christ. You insufferable jackass. You're not
 "Enlightened", you rolled out of bed and ate half a pot
 brownie, wrote a sad song about a leaf, and strolled
 into class to ramble about your Spirit Animal for six
 hours straight before calling it a day. Holy Jesus
 goddamned Christ. Fucking Balls, sir. Holy Fucking
 Balls
 Source: zintersoldier
 #Teaboot
 238,334 notes
 Sep 29th, 2018
a tree Is a Poem

a tree Is a Poem

enlightened: enlightened-introvert:I decided to rewatch Lars and the Cool Kids and Pearl, why are you like this? I can hear this picture. Shes doing the devil horns thing, what a badass
 enlightened: enlightened-introvert:I decided to rewatch Lars and the Cool Kids and Pearl, why are you like this? I can hear this picture.

Shes doing the devil horns thing, what a badass

enlightened-introvert:I decided to rewatch Lars and the Cool Kids and Pearl, why are you like this? I can hear this picture. Shes doing...

enlightened: THE ENLIGHTENED ONE bad <p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/81zwl4/oh_no_he_s_h_i_n_e_s/">Src</a>]</p>
 enlightened: THE ENLIGHTENED
 ONE
 bad
<p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/81zwl4/oh_no_he_s_h_i_n_e_s/">Src</a>]</p>

<p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/81zwl4/oh_no_he_s_h_i_n_e_s/">Src</a>]</p>

enlightened: u/Hjaaal ld i.redd.it now hug me human! @DrSmashlove Life update: I’ve tried all the healthy ice creams bruv. Halo Top. Enlightened. Arctic Zero. And I’ve come to the scientific conclusion that they all suck 🤗😂. Not edible. Not creamy or dreamy enuf. Simply not satisfying. It’s like when you break up with yo ex and date a whole bunch of duds and then u just like “I miss my ex, imma take them back even tho they ain’t good for me because they SPICY 🤗”. That’s Ben and Jerry’s bruv. Yes they got 3,892 calories per pint. And 582 grams of fat. And some crack. Like literally in the ingredients it say “sugarly, heavenly sugar; milkariffic milk from happy cows who listen to the Grateful Dead all day and inhale dab fumes; and a touch of crack. Just a touch! 👌 A lil Vermont Crack for love, just like Jerry Garcia used to like it ☺️. Cookie dough. Maltodextrin (sorry, we can’t have this goodness go bad on you, pilgrim!) 😇” Smfh. Ben and Jerry we can’t eat no regular ice cream now. Y’all done ruined us. If every bite don’t have chunks of real brownie batter, waffle cone, almonds, fudge swirl, creamy caramel, and a touch of illegal hallucinogens, we don’t want it. Y’all are the cot damn Shaq PP of the ice cream industry. We went Shaq and it ain’t no going back. We open now. Criminals 😞😂😂😂
 enlightened: u/Hjaaal ld i.redd.it
 now hug me human!
 @DrSmashlove
Life update: I’ve tried all the healthy ice creams bruv. Halo Top. Enlightened. Arctic Zero. And I’ve come to the scientific conclusion that they all suck 🤗😂. Not edible. Not creamy or dreamy enuf. Simply not satisfying. It’s like when you break up with yo ex and date a whole bunch of duds and then u just like “I miss my ex, imma take them back even tho they ain’t good for me because they SPICY 🤗”. That’s Ben and Jerry’s bruv. Yes they got 3,892 calories per pint. And 582 grams of fat. And some crack. Like literally in the ingredients it say “sugarly, heavenly sugar; milkariffic milk from happy cows who listen to the Grateful Dead all day and inhale dab fumes; and a touch of crack. Just a touch! 👌 A lil Vermont Crack for love, just like Jerry Garcia used to like it ☺️. Cookie dough. Maltodextrin (sorry, we can’t have this goodness go bad on you, pilgrim!) 😇” Smfh. Ben and Jerry we can’t eat no regular ice cream now. Y’all done ruined us. If every bite don’t have chunks of real brownie batter, waffle cone, almonds, fudge swirl, creamy caramel, and a touch of illegal hallucinogens, we don’t want it. Y’all are the cot damn Shaq PP of the ice cream industry. We went Shaq and it ain’t no going back. We open now. Criminals 😞😂😂😂

Life update: I’ve tried all the healthy ice creams bruv. Halo Top. Enlightened. Arctic Zero. And I’ve come to the scientific conclusion t...