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Bad, Beyonce, and Booty: If you don't pet him, you're a monster. Pic: reddit u/coal the slaw @DrSmashlove So yesterday I had about 12 hours of work to knock out and as the night got older, I had to leave the warm, familiar confines of my go-to Mom-and-Pop coffee joints that serve coffee made with love, care, affection and human warmth (and therefore close early so that they wonderful baristas can go act in plays and paint paintings and do other artsy tings that allow them to form doves and angels and birds in yo latte) and head to the barren desert land that is Starbucks, where they serve piping-hot burnt sludge-water brewed from the charcoal grains of Hell. Literally Starbucks got a long term supply agreement with Satan where they pay half they net revenue to ol dude with the red goat face and long tail and in return he supply them with coffee that shouldn’t be served to maximum security prisoners bruv. BUT THEY OPEN 24-7 BECAUSE SATAN NEVER SLEEPS - HE’S ALWAYS WREAKING HAVOC (except during Ramadan 🤗😂). Anyway so I’m there and they got the nerve. The cot damn NERVE...to play a playlist where Jay and Beyoncé are followed by Johnny Cash which is followed by “Till the Lights Come On” by Sun Rai (I had to Google the lyrics. No offense Sun Rai u probably a star of some sort but ya music sound like booty cheeks NO OFFENSE 🤗). Who did this? Who is RESPONSIBLE for this? In addition to obtaining they coffee supply from Satan, do they also let him hook up the playlists? How I’m pose to concentrate when y’all playing Jakob Dylan followed by Echosmith? I have ADD. Is this playlist meant to melt the remaining shred of sanity I have? Y’all serve coffee that’s stronger than bad cocaine and y’all play music that is jarring, discordant and unharmonious - combine the two and I now have the subtle urge to punch a baby 🤗. Y’all absolutely some criminals for this lmao. Change that mermaid on ya cup to Lucifer because this is the last time I ever fux with y’all devilish establishment - AWAY FROM ME, SATAN! 🤗😂😂😂
Bad, Beyonce, and Booty: If you don't pet him, you're a monster.
 Pic: reddit u/coal the slaw
 @DrSmashlove
So yesterday I had about 12 hours of work to knock out and as the night got older, I had to leave the warm, familiar confines of my go-to Mom-and-Pop coffee joints that serve coffee made with love, care, affection and human warmth (and therefore close early so that they wonderful baristas can go act in plays and paint paintings and do other artsy tings that allow them to form doves and angels and birds in yo latte) and head to the barren desert land that is Starbucks, where they serve piping-hot burnt sludge-water brewed from the charcoal grains of Hell. Literally Starbucks got a long term supply agreement with Satan where they pay half they net revenue to ol dude with the red goat face and long tail and in return he supply them with coffee that shouldn’t be served to maximum security prisoners bruv. BUT THEY OPEN 24-7 BECAUSE SATAN NEVER SLEEPS - HE’S ALWAYS WREAKING HAVOC (except during Ramadan 🤗😂). Anyway so I’m there and they got the nerve. The cot damn NERVE...to play a playlist where Jay and Beyoncé are followed by Johnny Cash which is followed by “Till the Lights Come On” by Sun Rai (I had to Google the lyrics. No offense Sun Rai u probably a star of some sort but ya music sound like booty cheeks NO OFFENSE 🤗). Who did this? Who is RESPONSIBLE for this? In addition to obtaining they coffee supply from Satan, do they also let him hook up the playlists? How I’m pose to concentrate when y’all playing Jakob Dylan followed by Echosmith? I have ADD. Is this playlist meant to melt the remaining shred of sanity I have? Y’all serve coffee that’s stronger than bad cocaine and y’all play music that is jarring, discordant and unharmonious - combine the two and I now have the subtle urge to punch a baby 🤗. Y’all absolutely some criminals for this lmao. Change that mermaid on ya cup to Lucifer because this is the last time I ever fux with y’all devilish establishment - AWAY FROM ME, SATAN! 🤗😂😂😂

So yesterday I had about 12 hours of work to knock out and as the night got older, I had to leave the warm, familiar confines of my go-to Mo...

Anime, Bootleg, and Booty: Her: baby my ankle hurts Me: I gotchu If a girls over 5”5 and texts you “We gone fight next time I see you” she literally will give you the smack down. It was around the time I was just getting a little clout. I scooped cute baddie but she kinda on the tall side. She avergae more boards than Deandre Jordan of the los angles clippers. She invited me over to her house to chill for the evening. Baby girl opened the door with the shortest booty shorts a nigga ever seen. I can see her booty jiggle as each cheek read “child-Support”. Pulling out was never an option. Laid on the couch we watching bootleg dvds. You know it’s bout to turn real hood in a min. This girl told me she was getting sick from the weather change. It’s funny how a girl be all freaky in the text messages but now all of a sudden she sick. I ain’t fail algebra twice to know something wasn’t adding up. I tried moving my hand down her back, soon as I’m halfway she let out a smoke screen of coughs. Breath Smelled all types of bacterial infections. I love my dick too much to put him through that. Ain’t no Pokémon center nearby here. I couldn’t see no hope in sight when the lord sent me a sign. She tells her beck was hurting. Perfect opportunity to make my move, I offered a massage. I’m working my way down her back when says “if your hand goes down further we gone fight”. Ain’t no serious tone or base in her voice so I’m like bet “Go time”, we really bout to rumble in the jungle. I creep lower when she horse kicks me right in my stomach. I look like a anime character who just got the shit out of him. Staring into space amazed at her strength. I get back up off the ground and tried to put her in the Kurt angle ankle lock. She revered it and had me in some next level Position. Nigga my belly bottom touching the back of my calf. I’m all types of fucked up. I’m looking like some iPhone head phones you pull out your pocket tangled like fuck. I had to tap out. I couldn’t even tap out. I cried out daddy. I ain’t never met the nigga either. Shorty dropped me and kicked me out. I couldn’t move. I came in on hopes and dreams and left on a stretcher. Moral of the story Tall bitches got the hands. ( Follow @Genuineguy & tag 2 friends below)
Anime, Bootleg, and Booty: Her: baby my ankle hurts
 Me: I gotchu
If a girls over 5”5 and texts you “We gone fight next time I see you” she literally will give you the smack down. It was around the time I was just getting a little clout. I scooped cute baddie but she kinda on the tall side. She avergae more boards than Deandre Jordan of the los angles clippers. She invited me over to her house to chill for the evening. Baby girl opened the door with the shortest booty shorts a nigga ever seen. I can see her booty jiggle as each cheek read “child-Support”. Pulling out was never an option. Laid on the couch we watching bootleg dvds. You know it’s bout to turn real hood in a min. This girl told me she was getting sick from the weather change. It’s funny how a girl be all freaky in the text messages but now all of a sudden she sick. I ain’t fail algebra twice to know something wasn’t adding up. I tried moving my hand down her back, soon as I’m halfway she let out a smoke screen of coughs. Breath Smelled all types of bacterial infections. I love my dick too much to put him through that. Ain’t no Pokémon center nearby here. I couldn’t see no hope in sight when the lord sent me a sign. She tells her beck was hurting. Perfect opportunity to make my move, I offered a massage. I’m working my way down her back when says “if your hand goes down further we gone fight”. Ain’t no serious tone or base in her voice so I’m like bet “Go time”, we really bout to rumble in the jungle. I creep lower when she horse kicks me right in my stomach. I look like a anime character who just got the shit out of him. Staring into space amazed at her strength. I get back up off the ground and tried to put her in the Kurt angle ankle lock. She revered it and had me in some next level Position. Nigga my belly bottom touching the back of my calf. I’m all types of fucked up. I’m looking like some iPhone head phones you pull out your pocket tangled like fuck. I had to tap out. I couldn’t even tap out. I cried out daddy. I ain’t never met the nigga either. Shorty dropped me and kicked me out. I couldn’t move. I came in on hopes and dreams and left on a stretcher. Moral of the story Tall bitches got the hands. ( Follow @Genuineguy & tag 2 friends below)

If a girls over 5”5 and texts you “We gone fight next time I see you” she literally will give you the smack down. It was around the time I w...