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Beautiful, Crazy, and Fresh: sosyebabe What you got made fun of in school for? graatrunk i went into american public school for 6th grade and i pierced someone's scrotum with a fencing foil that was missing the little rubber safety tip on the end by accident in gym and it was middle school so i was promptly nicknamed "The Nut Slayer" and i cried until my parents let me move back to europe and live with my grandparents billsimportantposts I know most people associate LUSH Cosmetics with white girls and bath bombs but products from this beautiful company have faded my scars and stretch marks, completely gotten rid of my acne, fixed my dry skin problems, thickened my eyelashes, laid my edges, made my hair grow like crazy… I can go on and on. I’ve actually never tried the bath bombs, but their skincare and haircare products work magic. Fading Scars - Stretch Marks Organic Therapy Massage Bar Extra Dry Skin King of Skin In-Shower Body Conditioner, Skin Drink Facial Moisturizer, Sultana of Soap Bar, Tender is the Night Massage Bar, Each’s a Peach Massage Bar Acne Fresh Farmacy Solid Cleanser, Eau Roma Toning Water, Full of Grace Serum Bar Thickening Lashes Eyes Right Mascara - Lash Milk Edges R&B Hair Moisturizer (if you put this on your edges before wrapping your hair, they’ll be relaxer-straight when you wake up, lasts about 12 hours), -Dirty Styling Cream (cream-based edge control with a matte finish, no more shiny or crunchy edges) -Hair Growth NEW! Shampoo Bar, Retread Hair Conditioner FACE - HAIR STUFF Magical Moringa Facial Moisturizer Oh my lordy. Let me tell y'all about this stuff. It’s marketed as a moisturizer but I use it as a primer because when you put this on your face, it’s completely matte. Like completely. All day. And it will lock your makeup in place like no other. You can sweat in it, swim in it, whatever. Shit won’t budge. Ever. Jason & the Argan Oil Shampoo Bar Amazing for volumizing. It made the three bundles in my head look more like five when I used this thing the first time, I kid you not. Also gives your hair a really natural shine. I only use it when I really need a volume boost, otherwise it’s just too much. No Drought Dry Shampoo If you have a weave, you need this stuff. Period. A lot of times, the natural oils in our scalps (referring to my fellow black women here) are too heavy for Brazilian, Peruvian, etc hair, and so it’s easy for weave to get weighed down between washes. Shake this stuff in your hair, brush it out - bam, flow city. ( more in the comments
Beautiful, Crazy, and Fresh: sosyebabe
 What you got made fun of in school for?
 graatrunk
 i went into american public school for 6th
 grade and i pierced someone's scrotum with a
 fencing foil that was missing the little rubber
 safety tip on the end by accident in gym
 and it was middle school so i was promptly
 nicknamed "The Nut Slayer" and i cried until
 my parents let me move back to europe and
 live with my grandparents
billsimportantposts I know most people associate LUSH Cosmetics with white girls and bath bombs but products from this beautiful company have faded my scars and stretch marks, completely gotten rid of my acne, fixed my dry skin problems, thickened my eyelashes, laid my edges, made my hair grow like crazy… I can go on and on. I’ve actually never tried the bath bombs, but their skincare and haircare products work magic. Fading Scars - Stretch Marks Organic Therapy Massage Bar Extra Dry Skin King of Skin In-Shower Body Conditioner, Skin Drink Facial Moisturizer, Sultana of Soap Bar, Tender is the Night Massage Bar, Each’s a Peach Massage Bar Acne Fresh Farmacy Solid Cleanser, Eau Roma Toning Water, Full of Grace Serum Bar Thickening Lashes Eyes Right Mascara - Lash Milk Edges R&B Hair Moisturizer (if you put this on your edges before wrapping your hair, they’ll be relaxer-straight when you wake up, lasts about 12 hours), -Dirty Styling Cream (cream-based edge control with a matte finish, no more shiny or crunchy edges) -Hair Growth NEW! Shampoo Bar, Retread Hair Conditioner FACE - HAIR STUFF Magical Moringa Facial Moisturizer Oh my lordy. Let me tell y'all about this stuff. It’s marketed as a moisturizer but I use it as a primer because when you put this on your face, it’s completely matte. Like completely. All day. And it will lock your makeup in place like no other. You can sweat in it, swim in it, whatever. Shit won’t budge. Ever. Jason & the Argan Oil Shampoo Bar Amazing for volumizing. It made the three bundles in my head look more like five when I used this thing the first time, I kid you not. Also gives your hair a really natural shine. I only use it when I really need a volume boost, otherwise it’s just too much. No Drought Dry Shampoo If you have a weave, you need this stuff. Period. A lot of times, the natural oils in our scalps (referring to my fellow black women here) are too heavy for Brazilian, Peruvian, etc hair, and so it’s easy for weave to get weighed down between washes. Shake this stuff in your hair, brush it out - bam, flow city. ( more in the comments

billsimportantposts I know most people associate LUSH Cosmetics with white girls and bath bombs but products from this beautiful company hav...

Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning of the universe in those two eyes. So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Y’all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of y’all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and I’m thinking I might come for y’all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp y’all out completely. And I know what I’d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Y’all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Y’all ain’t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah that’s basic. Mermaids? Bruv that’s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Where’s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she can’t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (😍) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like “I know y’all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night 😢.” Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But I’ll call it Mermaid Period because y’all love it when these beverage companies are extra 🤗). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peet’s and Dark Matter - y’all on notice. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂
Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning
 of the universe in those
 two eyes.
So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Y’all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of y’all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and I’m thinking I might come for y’all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp y’all out completely. And I know what I’d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Y’all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Y’all ain’t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah that’s basic. Mermaids? Bruv that’s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Where’s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she can’t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (😍) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like “I know y’all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night 😢.” Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But I’ll call it Mermaid Period because y’all love it when these beverage companies are extra 🤗). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peet’s and Dark Matter - y’all on notice. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂

So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unic...

Asian, Ass, and Baseball: My tow truck driver and his lil buddy. Pic: reddit u/Slowhand09 @DrSmashlove Aight. Two real quick follow-ups on my post about girls and sports (from Sunday.) First, I take back the comment about hairy armpits on women. Ladies - if u love yo natural body - I love it too. Or if u identify as a gender that doesn’t match your biological sex (thank u to my lil homegirl for explaining this to me), I love u too. If u EVER come to this page and feel “othered” or ostracized, tell me! It’s never my intent. Sometimes my lack of intellect and understanding translates the love in my heart into words that can be hurtful, and I ALWAYS expect y’all to teach me and educate me so I can be a better man out here. Second, I implied that the prototypic female sports fan has a blond pony tail sticking out the back of her baseball cap. My extremely wise sister from another mister @tamashar quickly pointed out that she’s a football fan and does not, in fact, have a blond pony tail. It is axiomatic that it’s sisters out here that love sports. The thing is, when I write, I imagine a story in my head, and I type it out and give it to y’all. So I imagined a loud ass blond girl at a Wrigleyville bar in a faded cubs cap wearing her ex boyfriend’s oversized J Crew hoodie (that she kept because FVCK HIM 🤗) barking loudly and drunkenly about her favorite (and least favorite) cubs players: “OMG GET RID OF PEDRO STROP ALREADY HE’S SUCH A - *WHY* DOES MADDON PUT HIM IN - HE SUCKS - CAN I GET A STELLA OR WHAT I NEED A DRINKY - Oh shit Kelly - kyle texted me - gotta go lol cover my beer baby byeeeee” <— if u got a girl like this in yo squad, tag her 🤗. Anyway I never meant to exclude my sisters, my Latinas, my Asian home girls, etc - they all got ladies that will school u - smash is never exclusionary only inclusionary. That’s all I got. Now don’t comment “SMASH STOP APOLOGIZING” - I don’t do it to be politically correct! (scroll back and tell me if I’ve EVER been politically correct 😂) - I make these statement to show GROWTH and I hope I never stop growing! I’ve always been a grower 🍌 bless up 😍😂😂😂
Asian, Ass, and Baseball: My tow truck driver and his lil buddy.
 Pic: reddit u/Slowhand09
 @DrSmashlove
Aight. Two real quick follow-ups on my post about girls and sports (from Sunday.) First, I take back the comment about hairy armpits on women. Ladies - if u love yo natural body - I love it too. Or if u identify as a gender that doesn’t match your biological sex (thank u to my lil homegirl for explaining this to me), I love u too. If u EVER come to this page and feel “othered” or ostracized, tell me! It’s never my intent. Sometimes my lack of intellect and understanding translates the love in my heart into words that can be hurtful, and I ALWAYS expect y’all to teach me and educate me so I can be a better man out here. Second, I implied that the prototypic female sports fan has a blond pony tail sticking out the back of her baseball cap. My extremely wise sister from another mister @tamashar quickly pointed out that she’s a football fan and does not, in fact, have a blond pony tail. It is axiomatic that it’s sisters out here that love sports. The thing is, when I write, I imagine a story in my head, and I type it out and give it to y’all. So I imagined a loud ass blond girl at a Wrigleyville bar in a faded cubs cap wearing her ex boyfriend’s oversized J Crew hoodie (that she kept because FVCK HIM 🤗) barking loudly and drunkenly about her favorite (and least favorite) cubs players: “OMG GET RID OF PEDRO STROP ALREADY HE’S SUCH A - *WHY* DOES MADDON PUT HIM IN - HE SUCKS - CAN I GET A STELLA OR WHAT I NEED A DRINKY - Oh shit Kelly - kyle texted me - gotta go lol cover my beer baby byeeeee” <— if u got a girl like this in yo squad, tag her 🤗. Anyway I never meant to exclude my sisters, my Latinas, my Asian home girls, etc - they all got ladies that will school u - smash is never exclusionary only inclusionary. That’s all I got. Now don’t comment “SMASH STOP APOLOGIZING” - I don’t do it to be politically correct! (scroll back and tell me if I’ve EVER been politically correct 😂) - I make these statement to show GROWTH and I hope I never stop growing! I’ve always been a grower 🍌 bless up 😍😂😂😂

Aight. Two real quick follow-ups on my post about girls and sports (from Sunday.) First, I take back the comment about hairy armpits on wome...

Af, Bless Up, and Bruh: My new GPS is doing a great job @DrSmashlove 6- Say Bruh u know what's the best part of company picnics? U get to see people's tattoos 😂. Now some of the younger gals I see y'all flexing some very artsy very sexy ink. But some of these older ladies bruh? I got just one question. At what point did every lady age 35-50 get a upper titty tattoo? When was this a thing? And it be the most RANDOM shit too. Daffy Duck. Just chillin. Faded AF, too. Like Daffy Duck low key look like a malnourished meth addict version of Daffy Duck - his pupils dilated and he look nervous and paranoid AF at all times like he tryina convince u the Feds are giving u brain radiation thru your iPhone - just chillin on Karen's upper titty area. And they be proud AF of their ink too! All they tank tops are cut in a manner that exposes 2-3ds of Daffy Duck - like they leaving the bottom portion of Daffy to the imagination 😂. Shout to Karen and all the secretaries who leave the mind-numbing confines of they office building job to wil TF out at suburban pool parties at above-ground pools where they can show off their circa 1998 Myrtle Beach - Daytona Beach waterfront tattoo parlor ink. Everybody need to express themselves even if it's thru cartoon characters that look like they trying to sell u a TV they just stole FROM YOU 😂. Karen and the rest of y'all, u the real MVPs - bless up 😍😂😂😂
Af, Bless Up, and Bruh: My new GPS is doing a great job
 @DrSmashlove
 6-
Say Bruh u know what's the best part of company picnics? U get to see people's tattoos 😂. Now some of the younger gals I see y'all flexing some very artsy very sexy ink. But some of these older ladies bruh? I got just one question. At what point did every lady age 35-50 get a upper titty tattoo? When was this a thing? And it be the most RANDOM shit too. Daffy Duck. Just chillin. Faded AF, too. Like Daffy Duck low key look like a malnourished meth addict version of Daffy Duck - his pupils dilated and he look nervous and paranoid AF at all times like he tryina convince u the Feds are giving u brain radiation thru your iPhone - just chillin on Karen's upper titty area. And they be proud AF of their ink too! All they tank tops are cut in a manner that exposes 2-3ds of Daffy Duck - like they leaving the bottom portion of Daffy to the imagination 😂. Shout to Karen and all the secretaries who leave the mind-numbing confines of they office building job to wil TF out at suburban pool parties at above-ground pools where they can show off their circa 1998 Myrtle Beach - Daytona Beach waterfront tattoo parlor ink. Everybody need to express themselves even if it's thru cartoon characters that look like they trying to sell u a TV they just stole FROM YOU 😂. Karen and the rest of y'all, u the real MVPs - bless up 😍😂😂😂

Say Bruh u know what's the best part of company picnics? U get to see people's tattoos 😂. Now some of the younger gals I see y'all flexing s...

Cute, Facetime, and Memes: HARRY STYLES WILL PERFORM ON THE LATE LATE SHOW FOR FOUR STRAIGHT NIGHTS NEWS We all know Harry Styles loves the Late Late Show with James Corden — heck, he once got the words “late late” tattooed on his arm. Now that he’s a bonafide solo star, Hazza’s infatuation with the talk show hasn’t faded in the slightest. In fact, he loves it so much, he’s about to spend an entire week there. _ The “Sign of the Times” singer will join Corden and Co. for a weeklong residency at the Late Late Show starting on May 15 — as in, the week after his debut solo album drops. According to Variety, he’ll perform a new track from the self-titled LP each night. He’ll also reportedly join Corden in various segments, which BETTER include Carpool Karaoke (please please please please please!). _ In a teaser video for the one-week guest slot, Styles rings up Corden on FaceTime and asks if he can crash in the studio while he’s in L.A. because it “feels like home.” Corden agrees, but with a few caveats: no houseguests (wink, wink), and he’ll have to work for his room and board. Then they have an sickeningly cute exchange about who’s going to hang up first, leaving us wondering if these two could possibly be the British version of Timberlake and Fallon. Guess we’ll find out when they team up next month. _ by Madeline Roth
Cute, Facetime, and Memes: HARRY STYLES WILL PERFORM ON THE LATE
 LATE SHOW FOR FOUR STRAIGHT NIGHTS
 NEWS
We all know Harry Styles loves the Late Late Show with James Corden — heck, he once got the words “late late” tattooed on his arm. Now that he’s a bonafide solo star, Hazza’s infatuation with the talk show hasn’t faded in the slightest. In fact, he loves it so much, he’s about to spend an entire week there. _ The “Sign of the Times” singer will join Corden and Co. for a weeklong residency at the Late Late Show starting on May 15 — as in, the week after his debut solo album drops. According to Variety, he’ll perform a new track from the self-titled LP each night. He’ll also reportedly join Corden in various segments, which BETTER include Carpool Karaoke (please please please please please!). _ In a teaser video for the one-week guest slot, Styles rings up Corden on FaceTime and asks if he can crash in the studio while he’s in L.A. because it “feels like home.” Corden agrees, but with a few caveats: no houseguests (wink, wink), and he’ll have to work for his room and board. Then they have an sickeningly cute exchange about who’s going to hang up first, leaving us wondering if these two could possibly be the British version of Timberlake and Fallon. Guess we’ll find out when they team up next month. _ by Madeline Roth

We all know Harry Styles loves the Late Late Show with James Corden — heck, he once got the words “late late” tattooed on his arm. Now that ...