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    Alive, Animals, and Bad: mithsonian smithchan.com/monsters nake
 CHANNELmanstersrake
 02012 SNUSI Networks LL.C. All rights reserved Smithson
legitimatelala:

lokiwtf:

gallizfrey:

anneriawings:

siphersaysstuff:

honey-andrevolution:

sashayed:

silvermoon424:

poppypicklesticks:

billybatsonandjameshowlettsbro:

cosmicallycosmopolitan:

billybatsonandjameshowlettsbro:

james-winston:

The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight.

I’m so glad they aren’t around

omg me too. I’m scared enough of 26 ft long anacondas. I’m so happy Megalodons, those giant sharks, aren’t alive either

Praise natural selection

I remember watching Walking with Beasts or something similar, or some British tv show about evolution
The subject was something like a 12 foot long water scorpion
I was so startled by its sudden appearance and narration that I yelped: “12 fucking feet?!?!  I’m fucking glad it’s extinct!” 

Dude, prehistory was home to some fucking TERRIFYING creatures. For some reason, everything back then was enormous and scary. Extinction doesn’t always have to be a bad thing!
And Poppy, what you saw was an arthropod known as Pterygotus (it was actually featured in Walking With Monsters). Not only was it as big (or maybe even bigger) than your average human, it had a stinger the size of a lightbulb. REALLY glad that bugger isn’t around anymore.

Also, Megalodon deserves to be mention again, because just hearing its name makes me want to never be submerged in water ever again.


GOD, I HATE THIS POST. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT ISN’T STILL AROUND? LURKING? EVOLVING? WE DON’T. WE DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT DOWN THERE. THE OCEAN IS A PRIMEVAL HELLSCAPE NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL JUST DIP OUR STUPID FRAGILE UNPROTECTED FETUS BODIES AROUND THE EDGES OF IT LIKE THAT’S NORMAL. FUCK THE OCEAN.

this is so relevant to my interests 

It wasn’t just the predators. North Carolina was once home to giant ground sloths…

THAT IS A GODDAMNED LEAF-EATING SLOTH.
We’ve got a skeleton of one of these fuckers at the museum downtown, and man, just being NEAR it is unsettling.


DON’T FORGET PREHISTORIC WHALES, SOME OF THOSE FUCKERS WERE TERRIFYING
AMBULOCETUS WAS AMPHIBIOUS AND PRETTY BADASS

BASILOSAURUS WAS THIS GIANT REPTILIAN CETACEAN THAT PROBABLY SWAM LIKE A DUMB EEL BECAUSE OF ITS TINY FLUKES BUT THIS FUCKER WAS 60 FEET LONG AND AT THE TOP OF THE MARINE FOOD CHAIN
AND THEN THERE’S MY FAVORITE, ZYGOPHYSETER, WHICH WAS THIS HUGE EARLY SPERM WHALE THAT ATE SHARKS AND OTHER WHALES
IT WAS NOTHING BUT TEETH



The reason why the animals in the prehistoric times were so big was because there was much more oxygen in the atmosphere if I recall correctly. Because there was so much oxygen and so few carbon gasses, life on earth was able to grow to terrifying lengths and heights, don’t forget how giant the bugs were.


I have never seen so much prime nope in a single post


*Goes on Tumblr at 5am to help me go back to sleep for a bit longer*
*Never sleeps again*


Dammit I was born to late for all the fun
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Alive, Animals, and Bad: mithsonian smithchan.com/monsters nake
 CHANNELmanstersrake
 02012 SNUSI Networks LL.C. All rights reserved Smithson
legitimatelala:

lokiwtf:

gallizfrey:

anneriawings:

siphersaysstuff:

honey-andrevolution:

sashayed:

silvermoon424:

poppypicklesticks:

billybatsonandjameshowlettsbro:

cosmicallycosmopolitan:

billybatsonandjameshowlettsbro:

james-winston:

The Titanoboa, is a 48ft long snake dating from around 60-58million years ago. It had a rib cage 2ft wide, allowing it to eat whole crocodiles, and surrounding the ribcage were muscles so powerful that it could crush a rhino. Titanoboa was so big it couldn’t even spend long amounts of time on land, because the force of gravity acting on it would cause it to suffocate under its own weight.

I’m so glad they aren’t around

omg me too. I’m scared enough of 26 ft long anacondas. I’m so happy Megalodons, those giant sharks, aren’t alive either

Praise natural selection

I remember watching Walking with Beasts or something similar, or some British tv show about evolution
The subject was something like a 12 foot long water scorpion
I was so startled by its sudden appearance and narration that I yelped: “12 fucking feet?!?!  I’m fucking glad it’s extinct!” 

Dude, prehistory was home to some fucking TERRIFYING creatures. For some reason, everything back then was enormous and scary. Extinction doesn’t always have to be a bad thing!
And Poppy, what you saw was an arthropod known as Pterygotus (it was actually featured in Walking With Monsters). Not only was it as big (or maybe even bigger) than your average human, it had a stinger the size of a lightbulb. REALLY glad that bugger isn’t around anymore.

Also, Megalodon deserves to be mention again, because just hearing its name makes me want to never be submerged in water ever again.


GOD, I HATE THIS POST. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT ISN’T STILL AROUND? LURKING? EVOLVING? WE DON’T. WE DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT DOWN THERE. THE OCEAN IS A PRIMEVAL HELLSCAPE NIGHTMARE AND WE ALL JUST DIP OUR STUPID FRAGILE UNPROTECTED FETUS BODIES AROUND THE EDGES OF IT LIKE THAT’S NORMAL. FUCK THE OCEAN.

this is so relevant to my interests 

It wasn’t just the predators. North Carolina was once home to giant ground sloths…

THAT IS A GODDAMNED LEAF-EATING SLOTH.
We’ve got a skeleton of one of these fuckers at the museum downtown, and man, just being NEAR it is unsettling.


DON’T FORGET PREHISTORIC WHALES, SOME OF THOSE FUCKERS WERE TERRIFYING
AMBULOCETUS WAS AMPHIBIOUS AND PRETTY BADASS

BASILOSAURUS WAS THIS GIANT REPTILIAN CETACEAN THAT PROBABLY SWAM LIKE A DUMB EEL BECAUSE OF ITS TINY FLUKES BUT THIS FUCKER WAS 60 FEET LONG AND AT THE TOP OF THE MARINE FOOD CHAIN
AND THEN THERE’S MY FAVORITE, ZYGOPHYSETER, WHICH WAS THIS HUGE EARLY SPERM WHALE THAT ATE SHARKS AND OTHER WHALES
IT WAS NOTHING BUT TEETH



The reason why the animals in the prehistoric times were so big was because there was much more oxygen in the atmosphere if I recall correctly. Because there was so much oxygen and so few carbon gasses, life on earth was able to grow to terrifying lengths and heights, don’t forget how giant the bugs were.


I have never seen so much prime nope in a single post


*Goes on Tumblr at 5am to help me go back to sleep for a bit longer*
*Never sleeps again*


Dammit I was born to late for all the fun
                
            

            
            
legitimatelala:

lokiwtf:

gallizfrey:

anneriawings:

siphersaysstuff:

honey-andrevolution:

sashayed:

silvermoon424:

poppypicklesticks:...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Ass, Chelsea, and Donkey: malfunctioningtypewrite9
 55:41:14.24
 THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED ON THIS
 STREAM
 1. THE FIRST $500 WAS EARNED BEFORE THE
 TREAM EVEN STARTED.
 2. HBOMBERGUY WAS PLANNING ON MAYBE
 GETTING $3,000
 3. CHELSEA FUCKING MANNING NOT ONLY
 SHOWED UP BUT JUST HUNG OUT ON THE
 CHAT FOR HOURS
 3.5. THE FIRST THING HBOMBERGUY SAID TO
 CHELSEA FUCKING MANNING WAS "DO YOU
 KNOW HOW TO GET PAST BEAVER
 BOTHERS?"
 .5.5. SHE DIDN'T. HE WAS STUCK ON THAT
 MINIGAME FOR AN HOUR AND HAD TO CALL
 IN PROFESSIONAL SPEEDGAMERS TO HELP.
 4. $25,000 WAS RAISED TO ERASE JK
 ROWLING
 5. GRANT KIRKHOPE (THE PERSON BEHIND
 ALL THE MUSIC AND SOUND FOR DONKEY
 KONG 64) SHOWED UP AND SAID 'TRANS
 RIGHTS' IN DK'S VOICE
 6. JOHN ROMERO (CREATOR OF DOOM)
 WED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS
 7. JOSH SAWYER (PERSON BEHIND FALLOUT:
 NEW VEGAS) SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS
 RIGHTS
 8. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ SHOWED
 UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS
 9. DR CHUCK TINGLE ACTUALLY, HONESTLY
 SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS, AND
 PUSHED THE DONATIONS TO $300K
 THE ENTIRE STREAM HAS VERY HEAVILY
 FEATURED TRANS CREATORS, ACTIVISTS,
 AND COOL ASS PEOPLE SHOWING UP AND
 TALKING AND SHARING AND DOING
 AWESOME STUFF TO SUPPORT TRANS KIDS
 11. THE ENTIRE DONATION IS GOING TO
 MERMAIDS, A SUPPORT AND EDUCATIONAL
 GROUP TO HELP SUPPORT TRANS KIDS AND
 FAMILIES, AND THE SUPPORT HAS BEEN
 AMAZING AND PHENOMENAL AND I'VE CRIED
 AT LEAST 3 TIMES
 12. TEETH GANG
 EDIT 13. OH RIGHT THE STREAM HAS ALSO
 BEEN GOING ON FOR OVER 50 HOURS, HE'S
 SLEPT TWICE AND LEFT THE STREAM ON
 AND BOTH TIMES HE GAINED LIKE $10K
 WHILE THE SKELETON CREW TALKED OVER A
 SKELETON WEARING HEADPHONES
 alfunctioningtypewrite9
 14. WE GOT THE DONATIONS UP TO PI WHILE
 NB GENDER THERAPIST BEN RECITES PI AND
 TALKS ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH FOR TRANS
 PEOPLE.
 15. FUCK YOU GRAHAM
 halfunctioningtypewrite9
 16, HE FUCKING DID IT. 101% ON DK64 AND
 $333K AND WE HAVE YET TO SEE HIM EAT A
 CARTON OF RAW SOY. UGLY CRY GANG
 YA'LL, WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.
chuck tingle showed up?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Ass, Chelsea, and Donkey: malfunctioningtypewrite9
 55:41:14.24
 THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED ON THIS
 STREAM
 1. THE FIRST $500 WAS EARNED BEFORE THE
 TREAM EVEN STARTED.
 2. HBOMBERGUY WAS PLANNING ON MAYBE
 GETTING $3,000
 3. CHELSEA FUCKING MANNING NOT ONLY
 SHOWED UP BUT JUST HUNG OUT ON THE
 CHAT FOR HOURS
 3.5. THE FIRST THING HBOMBERGUY SAID TO
 CHELSEA FUCKING MANNING WAS "DO YOU
 KNOW HOW TO GET PAST BEAVER
 BOTHERS?"
 .5.5. SHE DIDN'T. HE WAS STUCK ON THAT
 MINIGAME FOR AN HOUR AND HAD TO CALL
 IN PROFESSIONAL SPEEDGAMERS TO HELP.
 4. $25,000 WAS RAISED TO ERASE JK
 ROWLING
 5. GRANT KIRKHOPE (THE PERSON BEHIND
 ALL THE MUSIC AND SOUND FOR DONKEY
 KONG 64) SHOWED UP AND SAID 'TRANS
 RIGHTS' IN DK'S VOICE
 6. JOHN ROMERO (CREATOR OF DOOM)
 WED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS
 7. JOSH SAWYER (PERSON BEHIND FALLOUT:
 NEW VEGAS) SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS
 RIGHTS
 8. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ SHOWED
 UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS
 9. DR CHUCK TINGLE ACTUALLY, HONESTLY
 SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS, AND
 PUSHED THE DONATIONS TO $300K
 THE ENTIRE STREAM HAS VERY HEAVILY
 FEATURED TRANS CREATORS, ACTIVISTS,
 AND COOL ASS PEOPLE SHOWING UP AND
 TALKING AND SHARING AND DOING
 AWESOME STUFF TO SUPPORT TRANS KIDS
 11. THE ENTIRE DONATION IS GOING TO
 MERMAIDS, A SUPPORT AND EDUCATIONAL
 GROUP TO HELP SUPPORT TRANS KIDS AND
 FAMILIES, AND THE SUPPORT HAS BEEN
 AMAZING AND PHENOMENAL AND I'VE CRIED
 AT LEAST 3 TIMES
 12. TEETH GANG
 EDIT 13. OH RIGHT THE STREAM HAS ALSO
 BEEN GOING ON FOR OVER 50 HOURS, HE'S
 SLEPT TWICE AND LEFT THE STREAM ON
 AND BOTH TIMES HE GAINED LIKE $10K
 WHILE THE SKELETON CREW TALKED OVER A
 SKELETON WEARING HEADPHONES
 alfunctioningtypewrite9
 14. WE GOT THE DONATIONS UP TO PI WHILE
 NB GENDER THERAPIST BEN RECITES PI AND
 TALKS ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH FOR TRANS
 PEOPLE.
 15. FUCK YOU GRAHAM
 halfunctioningtypewrite9
 16, HE FUCKING DID IT. 101% ON DK64 AND
 $333K AND WE HAVE YET TO SEE HIM EAT A
 CARTON OF RAW SOY. UGLY CRY GANG
 YA'LL, WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.
chuck tingle showed up?
                
            

            
            
chuck tingle showed up?

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    7-Eleven, A Dream, and Basketball: 221biotchplease:

leaveittotegan:

lumnie:

chemisquid:

dippersballoon:
I saw an opportunity and I took it
This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die

For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO.


Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance:

I won’t hesitate bitch

Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow

Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read

Kermit the Frog jumps off building

Fr e sh a voca do

back at it again at Krispy Kreme

There is only one thing worse than a rapist

Club Jam (yes a really good book)

At least the taco was free

I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand

Grandma loves ping pong too much

If your name is Junior

Welcome to Target

I’m just cooking pizza

Cole Sprouse dress-up game

On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf

Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free)

Kid smacked by fly swatter

Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school)

Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator)

WE’RE BREAKING FREE

SAIL

I’m Squidward

So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies

So no head? (breaking skateboard)

Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere)

No off topic questions (Chris Christie)

What the fuck, Richard

Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke)

Bored as shiiiiii

Liberian accent (plasma globe)

New haircut (Parker Kit Hill)

Summertime sadness (chicken)

More like hurricane TORTILLA

I got an a-bor-tion

All Around the World (TheJasminator)

When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light

Snake licks lollipop

Accept yourself, love yourself

Be whatever you wanna be

Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR)

Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho

Can I please get a waffle?

Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars)

Ebony Jenkins (shut up!)

Kevin, watch the light dude

Horse meditation
A girl a dream  a clothing hanger

Is that a weed? (911 microwave)

Helium balloons (floating car)

Fireplace fairy

I’m your freestyle dance teacher

I can’t believe you’ve done this

Which way the Quiznos is

Impossible paper toss shot

Hemtube (dancing with cat)

I nurture my skin (Shaq)

Why are you running

Happy birthday?

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom)

Farkle falling

Fuck you (soda machine)

Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke)

Take On Me

And now my sock is wet (water gun)

All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala

When there’s too much drama at school

Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub

What’s your name? (ouija board)

Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids)

Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven)

Girl scared of convertible car

Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats)

Would you like the spider on your hand?

Shopping cart crash

We actually have the chip reader now

I’M A GIRAFFE

Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti)
I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)



this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke

BEAUTY

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                7-Eleven, A Dream, and Basketball: 221biotchplease:

leaveittotegan:

lumnie:

chemisquid:

dippersballoon:
I saw an opportunity and I took it
This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die

For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO.


Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance:

I won’t hesitate bitch

Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow

Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read

Kermit the Frog jumps off building

Fr e sh a voca do

back at it again at Krispy Kreme

There is only one thing worse than a rapist

Club Jam (yes a really good book)

At least the taco was free

I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand

Grandma loves ping pong too much

If your name is Junior

Welcome to Target

I’m just cooking pizza

Cole Sprouse dress-up game

On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf

Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free)

Kid smacked by fly swatter

Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school)

Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator)

WE’RE BREAKING FREE

SAIL

I’m Squidward

So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies

So no head? (breaking skateboard)

Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere)

No off topic questions (Chris Christie)

What the fuck, Richard

Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke)

Bored as shiiiiii

Liberian accent (plasma globe)

New haircut (Parker Kit Hill)

Summertime sadness (chicken)

More like hurricane TORTILLA

I got an a-bor-tion

All Around the World (TheJasminator)

When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light

Snake licks lollipop

Accept yourself, love yourself

Be whatever you wanna be

Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR)

Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho

Can I please get a waffle?

Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars)

Ebony Jenkins (shut up!)

Kevin, watch the light dude

Horse meditation
A girl a dream  a clothing hanger

Is that a weed? (911 microwave)

Helium balloons (floating car)

Fireplace fairy

I’m your freestyle dance teacher

I can’t believe you’ve done this

Which way the Quiznos is

Impossible paper toss shot

Hemtube (dancing with cat)

I nurture my skin (Shaq)

Why are you running

Happy birthday?

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom)

Farkle falling

Fuck you (soda machine)

Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke)

Take On Me

And now my sock is wet (water gun)

All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala

When there’s too much drama at school

Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub

What’s your name? (ouija board)

Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids)

Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven)

Girl scared of convertible car

Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats)

Would you like the spider on your hand?

Shopping cart crash

We actually have the chip reader now

I’M A GIRAFFE

Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti)
I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)



this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke

BEAUTY

                
                

                
            

            
            
221biotchplease:

leaveittotegan:

lumnie:

chemisquid:

dippersballoon:
I saw an opportunity and I took it
This is what they mean when they...