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    Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird:

wrangletangle:

stevenrogered:
Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win
Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! Itโ€™s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans.
Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this:
A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away menโ€™s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, โ€œhelpedโ€, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also thereโ€™s the condescending attitude that of course we need a manโ€™s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. 
No thanks.
Chris is doing something very different here, and youโ€™ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesnโ€™t happen here until Reginaโ€™s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers.
How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesnโ€™t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while sheโ€™s also contending with her dress. 
He also bends down a bit to do this. I donโ€™t know if youโ€™ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when theyโ€™re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because sheโ€™s shorter than Regina, I guess.
He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isnโ€™t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. Heโ€™s just interested in helping, and when heโ€™s not needed, heโ€™s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesnโ€™t hover.
Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesnโ€™t appear to be the case.
Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, weโ€™ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. Itโ€™s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. Itโ€™s just that โ€œsome kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.โ€
If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesnโ€™t need you anymore and let the moment go.


I hadnโ€™t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but youโ€™re right. Itโ€™s all in the way he helps. Itโ€™s not that this is unthreatening behaviour โ€œbecause heโ€™s Chris Evansโ€ โ€“ its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. 
A+ analysis โ€“ I hadnโ€™t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been  

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird:

wrangletangle:

stevenrogered:
Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win
Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! Itโ€™s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans.
Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this:
A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away menโ€™s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, โ€œhelpedโ€, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also thereโ€™s the condescending attitude that of course we need a manโ€™s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. 
No thanks.
Chris is doing something very different here, and youโ€™ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesnโ€™t happen here until Reginaโ€™s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers.
How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesnโ€™t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while sheโ€™s also contending with her dress. 
He also bends down a bit to do this. I donโ€™t know if youโ€™ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when theyโ€™re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because sheโ€™s shorter than Regina, I guess.
He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isnโ€™t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. Heโ€™s just interested in helping, and when heโ€™s not needed, heโ€™s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesnโ€™t hover.
Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesnโ€™t appear to be the case.
Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, weโ€™ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. Itโ€™s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. Itโ€™s just that โ€œsome kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.โ€
If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesnโ€™t need you anymore and let the moment go.


I hadnโ€™t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but youโ€™re right. Itโ€™s all in the way he helps. Itโ€™s not that this is unthreatening behaviour โ€œbecause heโ€™s Chris Evansโ€ โ€“ its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. 
A+ analysis โ€“ I hadnโ€™t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been  

                
                

                
            

            
            
bundibird:

wrangletangle:

stevenrogered:
Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win
Okay listen up, all...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Church, Fire, and Internet: DISORDERLY
 Oct. 1 - A group of students
 playing hide and seek in the
 Harris Fine Arts Center at 11
 p.m. caused a faculty member
 to call the University Police.
 The police arrived but were
 not able to find any of the
 students.
deadmomjokes:
owl-librarian:
#you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek
Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, thereโ€™s no way youโ€™re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasnโ€™t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like theyโ€™d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again.
Basically what Iโ€™m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Church, Fire, and Internet: DISORDERLY
 Oct. 1 - A group of students
 playing hide and seek in the
 Harris Fine Arts Center at 11
 p.m. caused a faculty member
 to call the University Police.
 The police arrived but were
 not able to find any of the
 students.
deadmomjokes:
owl-librarian:
#you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek
Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, thereโ€™s no way youโ€™re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasnโ€™t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like theyโ€™d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again.
Basically what Iโ€™m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

                
            

            
            
deadmomjokes:
owl-librarian:
#you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek
Having gone to this University, and having personally p...