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9/11, America, and Children: The Turkey Story So it's 2001, and my family drives from fu California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for into a nursing home and it's their last holiday in that house. So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing. Since it's their last holiday there, the family pulls out all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed Potatoes and the horrible candied yams with the mini marshmallows dish because not all expressions of love are even if they are si In the spirit of going alout, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been ad- dicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in the backyard where he makes various cured meats and other delights. He seasons the turkey in the traditional manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for SO Game Hen seasoned that way, for them. Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea. He realizes that he can stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen be- cuase why not? He confers with Mom, and she explains how to cut open the turkey so there's dramatic reveal as the stuffing and game hen come out. It's Genius. Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle Cliff s after her So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit high, between the marathon cooking, the kids al being trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards, and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement, getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic groups were destroying America. Being that I had close Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of 9/11, 1 was near tears from this nonsense and ready to n roughly five times my size. Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and defending him, or telling us we're rotten children for 'attacking him, becuase she Must Stand By Her Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of dog feces with an ugly mustache My sister eventually boits upstairs to tattle and my grandfather limps down to the basement and brandishes his Hip Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in spite of the Parkinson's slowly taking over him. Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but while you are under it you will be civil, or Ill beat your skull in. Also, dinner's ready, everyone go wash up. We go upstairs and sit down, and do the traditional "Name one thing you're thankful for as the bread gets passed around the table, and things calm down a bit. Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone goes OOH becuase it's really pretty, them Mom carves it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along with the game hen and there's an appreciative gasp all around becuase it looks cool. Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard Munch and shrieks OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANTI We all stare at Sue. We all look back at the fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out where to begin but since shed been trying to justify Cliffs behavior she was pretty much free-associating conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going. IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE'VE COMMITTED AN ABORTION WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I'M SO SORRY JESUS She goes into full pearl-clutching gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her chair like it's a Victorian fainting couch only it's a shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and kicking her feet like a toddler Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while my grandmother mouths she's not coming back Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up, are assisted by Dad, who is saintly patient man and less immune to this jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle ICANT EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS BARBARISM Sue begins but Dad puts on his best Kindly Father voice (he was heavily involved with the catholic church and even considered becoming a priest before getting drafted but that's another story)and assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the room if she wants. She nods, placated by being the center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill. I wouldn't want you to go hungry. Can I make you some That would be lovely." Said Sue, joke flying over her ng 747. I recall watching my grandmot her nearly choke to death on the green beans over that, and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind. Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they went home, and the party got underway properly, with Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby For t Turkey has been an staple since then. I'll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE to shriek "OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT when you carve it open, or it's not authentic and won't taste as good 2. Share the pictures with me, Very planned Parenthood
9/11, America, and Children: The Turkey Story
 So it's 2001, and my family drives from fu
 California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for
 into
 a nursing home and it's their last holiday in that house.
 So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing.
 Since it's their last holiday there, the family pulls out
 all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian
 desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed
 Potatoes and the horrible candied yams with the mini
 marshmallows dish because not all expressions of love
 are
 even if they are si
 In the spirit of going
 alout, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey
 Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy
 foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been ad-
 dicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in
 the backyard where he makes various cured meats and
 other delights. He seasons the turkey in the traditional
 manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for
 SO
 Game Hen seasoned that way, for them.
 Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea. He realizes that he can
 stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular
 stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put
 the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen be-
 cuase why not? He confers with Mom, and she explains
 how to cut open the turkey so there's dramatic reveal
 as the stuffing and game hen come out. It's Genius.
 Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle
 Cliff s
 after her
 So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit
 high, between the marathon cooking, the kids al being
 trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards,
 and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse
 himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement,
 getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic
 groups were destroying America. Being that I had close
 Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of
 9/11, 1 was near tears from this nonsense and ready to
 n roughly five times my size.
 Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and
 defending him, or telling us we're rotten children
 for 'attacking him, becuase she Must Stand By Her
 Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of dog feces with an
 ugly
 mustache
 My sister eventually boits upstairs to tattle and
 my grandfather limps down to the basement and
 brandishes his Hip Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in
 spite of the Parkinson's slowly taking over him.
 Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but
 while you are under it you will be civil, or Ill beat your
 skull in. Also, dinner's ready, everyone go wash up.
 We go upstairs and sit down, and do the
 traditional "Name one thing you're thankful for as the
 bread gets passed around the table, and things calm
 down a bit. Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone
 goes OOH becuase it's really pretty, them Mom carves
 it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along
 with the game hen and there's an appreciative gasp all
 around becuase it looks cool.
 Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting
 up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard
 Munch and shrieks
 OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANTI
 We all stare at Sue. We all look back at the
 fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way
 had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth
 Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out
 where to begin but since shed been trying to justify
 Cliffs behavior she was pretty much free-associating
 conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going.
 IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE'VE COMMITTED AN
 ABORTION WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I'M
 SO SORRY JESUS She goes into full pearl-clutching
 gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her
 chair like it's a Victorian fainting couch only it's a
 shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it
 collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and
 kicking her feet like a toddler
 Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs
 heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while
 my grandmother mouths she's not coming back
 Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally
 notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up,
 are assisted by Dad,
 who is saintly patient man and less immune to this
 jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into
 my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle
 ICANT EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS
 BARBARISM Sue begins but Dad puts on his best
 Kindly Father voice (he was heavily involved with the
 catholic church and even considered becoming a priest
 before getting drafted but that's another story)and
 assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the
 room if she wants. She nods, placated by being the
 center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill.
 I wouldn't want you to go hungry. Can I make you
 some
 That would be lovely." Said Sue, joke flying over her
 ng 747. I recall watching my grandmot
 her nearly choke to death on the green beans over that,
 and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about
 anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the
 most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind.
 Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they
 went home, and the party got underway properly, with
 Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby For
 t Turkey has been an
 staple since then. I'll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for
 instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE
 to shriek "OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT when you
 carve it open, or it's not authentic and won't taste as
 good 2. Share the pictures with me,
Very planned Parenthood

Very planned Parenthood

Alive, Ass, and Beautiful: E a : Garrett Watts @Garrett_Watts Something sad happened today that inspired a thought that l'd love to share with anyone who cares to read this. I mean no shade to any one person with my words but I've seen remarkable, generous people be needlessly lowkey bullied for this & l'd like to shed some light on it. 7:561 < iCloud June 2, 2018 at 7:53 PM Something heartbreaking happened today that inspired a thought which inspired this post. I broke my favorite wand. No, that is not an analogy for anything. I broke my wand and it broke my heart. This may immediately seem like this is about to verge into the territory of being a comical post... which is a natural assumption when a grown man states that he had his heartbroken from "breaking his wand"... but I very much mean what I am about to say because this seemingly silly piece of wood breaking (because my slightly fat ass sat on it) made me realize something that I would like to publicly address. A behavior I have seen flaring up on social media recently, and that is, people passive aggressively judging others for the things that they purchase, cherish & own. Stick with me here cause I have a point... 7:56 1 .uil Cloud For years, I have collected wands of all different kinds, and for years I have been lightheartedly teased by friends and family for such an odd infatuation. Yes, it was my love of the Harry Potter novels that started this collection, but it's turned into something more. I have many wands from different carvers & countries and some of them are so damn beautiful that I legitimately cannot believe I get the honor of owning themm Some of them taking their makers weeks, maybe months to create. tH To me, my wands are beautiful little manifestations of the importance of keeping ones imagination alive through the years. I even keep a few close by to remind me of this. This one was in my car because l sometimes pretend to blast cars into oblivion in LA Traffic. If you ever see me doing this while blasting Missy Elliot through my speakers, I apologize in advance. If you've stuck with me this long, firstly, god bless you. Secondly, I'm about to get to where I'm going with all this 8:051 .ail iCloud Recently on social media I've seen a toxic little trend of people passive aggressively shading others based on the things they choose to purchase with their own money. Some of the wands (or other things I own) didn't come cheap to me, but we as people, buy things consciously & with pride bec they are important to us, and as long as they cause no harm to others, we reserve that right to use our resources as we see fit. ause So whether it be a wand, a pair of Gucci slides, a pair of jeans to boost confidence, a car, a vinyl record... hell, even a taxidermy collection! Whatever! Allow people these things, & furthermore, if you're at all confused or intrigued about said purchase, don't silently judge them for making it or project your own narrative onto it. In fact, try politely asking them about it! If they choose to share with you why they've invested in something in their lives, you might just learn something beautiful & cool about them and make a new friend! Love - Garrett garrettsiwicki:Garrett Watts talking about judging others for their collectibles via his Twitter
Alive, Ass, and Beautiful: E a : Garrett Watts
 @Garrett_Watts
 Something sad happened today that
 inspired a thought that l'd love to share
 with anyone who cares to read this.
 I mean no shade to any one person
 with my words but I've seen
 remarkable, generous people be
 needlessly lowkey bullied for this & l'd
 like to shed some light on it.

 7:561
 < iCloud
 June 2, 2018 at 7:53 PM
 Something heartbreaking happened today
 that inspired a thought which inspired this
 post.
 I broke my favorite wand.
 No, that is not an analogy for anything. I
 broke my wand and it broke my heart.
 This may immediately seem like this is about
 to verge into the territory of being a comical
 post... which is a natural assumption when a
 grown man states that he had his
 heartbroken from "breaking his wand"... but I
 very much mean what I am about to say
 because this seemingly silly piece of wood
 breaking (because my slightly fat ass sat on
 it) made me realize something that I would
 like to publicly address. A behavior I have
 seen flaring up on social media recently, and
 that is, people passive aggressively
 judging others for the things that they
 purchase, cherish & own.
 Stick with me here cause I have a point...

 7:56 1
 .uil
 Cloud
 For years, I have collected wands of all
 different kinds, and for years I have been
 lightheartedly teased by friends and family
 for such an odd infatuation. Yes, it was my
 love of the Harry Potter novels that started
 this collection, but it's turned into something
 more. I have many wands from different
 carvers & countries and some of them are
 so damn beautiful that I legitimately cannot
 believe I get the honor of owning themm
 Some of them taking their makers weeks,
 maybe months to create.
 tH
 To me, my wands are beautiful little
 manifestations of the importance of keeping
 ones imagination alive through the years. I
 even keep a few close by to remind me of
 this. This one was in my car because l
 sometimes pretend to blast cars into oblivion
 in LA Traffic. If you ever see me doing this
 while blasting Missy Elliot through my
 speakers, I apologize in advance.
 If you've stuck with me this long, firstly, god
 bless you. Secondly, I'm about to get to
 where I'm going with all this

 8:051
 .ail
 iCloud
 Recently on social media I've seen a toxic
 little trend of people passive aggressively
 shading others based on the things they
 choose to purchase with their own money.
 Some of the wands (or other things I own)
 didn't come cheap to me, but we as people,
 buy things consciously & with pride bec
 they are important to us, and as long as they
 cause no harm to others, we reserve that
 right to use our resources as we see fit.
 ause
 So whether it be a wand, a pair of Gucci
 slides, a pair of jeans to boost confidence, a
 car, a vinyl record... hell, even a taxidermy
 collection! Whatever! Allow people these
 things, & furthermore, if you're at all
 confused or intrigued about said purchase,
 don't silently judge them for making it or
 project your own narrative onto it. In fact, try
 politely asking them about it! If they
 choose to share with you why they've
 invested in something in their lives, you
 might just learn something beautiful & cool
 about them and make a new friend!
 Love
 - Garrett
garrettsiwicki:Garrett Watts talking about judging others for their collectibles via his Twitter

garrettsiwicki:Garrett Watts talking about judging others for their collectibles via his Twitter

Internet, News, and Sorry: SAVE THE INTERNET Coogle Save the Internet SAVE THE INTERNET 、■Neutrality <p><a href="https://theshitopinionsofsomeasswipeblm.tumblr.com/post/173212271752/libertarirynn-since-net-neutrality-is-in-the" class="tumblr_blog">theshitopinionsofsomeasswipeblm</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/173211263389/since-net-neutrality-is-in-the-news-again-its" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Since “net neutrality“ is in the news again it’s timely to bring this back up.</p></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-height="304" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DnqJDW_s93rc"><iframe width="540" height="304" id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/nqJDW_s93rc?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure><figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-height="304" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DGGJMwvZKueY"><iframe width="540" height="304" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GGJMwvZKueY?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure><p>Sorry, <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mZHrjydhp9oUbxMGBDJA8rw">@libertarirynn</a>, you’re usually awesome, but… you’re barking up the wrong tree with this one, and PSA Sitch covered some of the bullshit covered by Rageoholic.</p> <p>Firstly, Net Neutrality isn’t some “unexplained, undefined” thing like Rageoholic, it’s a specific set of parameters that essentially goes as:</p> <blockquote> <p><i>i. <b>Transparency.</b> Fixed and mobile broadband providers <b>must disclose the network management practices, performance characteristics, and terms and conditions of their broadband services;</b></i></p> <p><i>ii. <b>No blocking</b>. Fixed broadband providers <b>may not block lawful content, applications, services, or non-harmful devices; mobile broadband providers may not block lawful websites, or block applications that compete with their voice or video telephony services</b>; and </i></p> <p><i>iii. <b>No unreasonable discrimination</b>. Fixed broadband providers <b>may not unreasonably discriminate in transmitting lawful network traffic</b>. </i></p> </blockquote> <p>I know you don’t want the government to overtake literally everything in our daily lives, but the trouble is, when we <b>let </b>private corporations have their hand at doing their own regulations, they decide that it’s much more valuable to <b>throttle internet traffic to other P2P services</b> and create <b>monopolies</b> instead of playing fair.</p> <p>I mean, as a capitalist, you do realize that monopolies never help anyone, right?</p> </blockquote><p>I’m sorry did the world just discover the Internet in 2015? </p>
Internet, News, and Sorry: SAVE THE
 INTERNET
 Coogle
 Save the Internet
 SAVE THE
 INTERNET
 、■Neutrality
<p><a href="https://theshitopinionsofsomeasswipeblm.tumblr.com/post/173212271752/libertarirynn-since-net-neutrality-is-in-the" class="tumblr_blog">theshitopinionsofsomeasswipeblm</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/173211263389/since-net-neutrality-is-in-the-news-again-its" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>Since “net neutrality“ is in the news again it’s timely to bring this back up.</p></blockquote>
<figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-height="304" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DnqJDW_s93rc"><iframe width="540" height="304" id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/nqJDW_s93rc?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure><figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-height="304" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DGGJMwvZKueY"><iframe width="540" height="304" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GGJMwvZKueY?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure><p>Sorry, <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mZHrjydhp9oUbxMGBDJA8rw">@libertarirynn</a>, you’re usually awesome, but… you’re barking up the wrong tree with this one, and PSA Sitch covered some of the bullshit covered by Rageoholic.</p>
<p>Firstly, Net Neutrality isn’t some “unexplained, undefined” thing like Rageoholic, it’s a specific set of parameters that essentially goes as:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><i>i. <b>Transparency.</b> Fixed and mobile broadband providers <b>must disclose the network management practices, performance characteristics, and terms and conditions of their broadband services;</b></i></p>
<p><i>ii. <b>No blocking</b>. Fixed broadband providers <b>may not block lawful content, applications, services, or non-harmful devices; mobile broadband providers may not block lawful websites, or block applications that compete with their voice or video telephony services</b>; and </i></p>
<p><i>iii. <b>No unreasonable discrimination</b>. Fixed broadband providers <b>may not unreasonably discriminate in transmitting lawful network traffic</b>. </i></p>
</blockquote>
<p>I know you don’t want the government to overtake literally everything in our daily lives, but the trouble is, when we <b>let </b>private corporations have their hand at doing their own regulations, they decide that it’s much more valuable to <b>throttle internet traffic to other P2P services</b> and create <b>monopolies</b> instead of playing fair.</p>
<p>I mean, as a capitalist, you do realize that monopolies never help anyone, right?</p>
</blockquote><p>I’m sorry did the world just discover the Internet in 2015? </p>

theshitopinionsofsomeasswipeblm: libertarirynn: Since “net neutrality“ is in the news again it’s timely to bring this back up. Sorry, @liber...

Anna, Brains, and Church: SKILL HARD WORK TO ACHIEVE A LEVEL OF SKILL IN ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO STAND ON A PILLAR OF HARD WORK. OH, I JUST STARTED HERE TALENT & I HARD WORK TALENTHARD WORK owLTURD.com violent-darts: charlesoberonn: jelloapocalypse: These bother me sometimes. We all start as literal useless babies. No one gets a magic ticket that makes them better at anything. If someone says they “never practice” it’s probably because they like doing the skill and see it as a fun use of their time instead of “practice”. I will qualify this a small but I think important amount, because what it is is actually complicated:  Some people’s brains and nervous systems are wired for better hand-eye coordination. Some people’s brains and nervous systems are wired for better pattern recognition. Or translations of audio input. Or whatever.  What this does is combine with @jelloapocalypse‘s EXTREMELY WELL-OBSERVED COMMENT (If someone says they “never practice” it’s probably because they like doing the skill and see it as a fun use of their time instead of “practice”.) in a way that can be both invisible and give this kind of person a massive leg up while being really discouraging to someone who doesn’t have that wiring.  It doesn’t get to the actual original comic’s level of “oh I just started here”. But let’s take two people called Riley and Kennedy, and we’ll do singing, since that’s what I teach.  Riley and Kennedy have exactly the same kind of background: parents who listen to the radio sometimes, the usual social stuff around popular music of whatever genre, etc, but no formal training. Neither of them sings in a church choir, neither of them falls into a formal disability category, whatever.  The first time Riley shows up in my studio and we sing a really simple song I use as a diagnostic, she gets it mostly right. She can follow the tune; she can hear pitch, and it takes very little work for her to chivvy her voice into matching that pitch as long as there’s not something pulling her off. (In other words: as long as I’m singing the same notes as her and playing them on the piano, and as long a she can hear both herself and those notes).  For Riley the lesson is really fun and validating and she goes home and sings along to her own music for a while and comes back next week with six songs she wants to try learning. And most of her lessons are like that: pretty easy positive feedback. That means Riley “practices” a lot in exactly the way @jelloapocalypse describes, even if she doesn’t think she’s actually practicing (that is, sitting down to sing the songs we’re working on together in a systematic way) at all.  In contrast, the first time Kennedy comes to my studio, she struggles. It’s harder for her to hear the difference between notes, and it’s much harder for her to make her voice actually match the pitch she wants to sing at. When we pull out the diagnostic tune, she mostly manages to drone a few clusters of semi-tones, and while she can hear that she’s Off, it’s actually very hard for her to tell HOW she’s off, or what she should do to correct it.  In most cases, for Kennedy, lessons - and in fact the overall experience of singing - is not fun. It’s not validating. It’s a whole process of Not Being Good, of Doing Things Wrong, and given the way humans are often in casual situations being laughed at. When Kennedy goes home she doesn’t sing along with any music she plays: she keeps her lips pressed together and at best enjoys other people singing (and maybe feels envious and demeaned because she can’t do it).  Now the thing is, the practical “skill” difference for Riley and Kennedy here at the beginning is minimal. But the Rileys will tend (if they like what they’re doing) to ROCKET UP THE SKILL LEVEL, because of the “practice is fun so it’s just the thing I do” - because there is always a bunch of validation and positive reinforcement in the act of doing whatever it is, be it doodling or singing or math.  The Kennedys won’t. In fact if they’re not lucky enough to have a good teacher, and one who can put a lot of this into perspective for them, they will tend to be inhibited. The worst time is when a Riley and a Kennedy are friends and sign up to learn together, and Riley takes off and Kennedy’s left sitting there feeling like she’s somehow Deeply Flawed.   And in fact the whole Doctrine of “It’s Just About How Hard You Work” will in and of itself become part of what inhibits them, because they will watch the Rileys - and even the Annas, Anna in this metaphor being the Totally Normal Student who never really exists - grasp things faster than they do, even if they ARE working hard. And this will HAPPEN. They will watch this reality happen in front of them … and then people say to them “oh, it’s all about how hard you work, dear.” And it’s like being gaslit. (Well, to be fair: it IS being gaslit, just without malice intended on the part of the people doing it.)  And that message is horribly horribly toxic: here Kennedy is, and she IS working hard, but she’s still not progressing as fast as Riley or Anna no matter what she does! But it’s All About Hard Work, right? So that must mean that no matter how hard she THINKS she’s working, she’s actually just lazy, or doesn’t want it enough. It’s clearly a moral flaw in her.  I actually have, personally, really good luck with teaching the Kennedys because I literally have this conversation with them when they come to my studio. I actually outright tell them: firstly, anyone who has working vocal chords can sing. Anyone who has working vocal chords and the ability to distinguish audio pitch can even sing on key in tune! But some people have an easy time learning this and some people have a hard time, and sometimes which it is has some relationship to, say, “early exposure to music” or whatever but sometimes it seems to be utterly fucking random - pure luck of the draw.  You CAN SING. The capability is there. And if you want to we will find out how to make it happen. It might not happen as fast as for some other person, it might take more work, it might take more care, but that’s okay: that’s not your fault, that doesn’t mean you’re NOT working hard, but it does mean that here at the beginning we do things like recalibrate victories, we make your progress about YOU, not about Riley or Anna.  But I’m also not going to gaslight you or make you feel like you’re either delusional or somehow especially So Terrible You Don’t Fit In The Rest Of The World: sure, I’ve got some Riley-types who walk in here, noodle around, and we go on to Art Songs. They exist.  So what? Tall people exist. People with broad shoulders exist. People with dark hair exist. Physical embodiment and neurology hand out luck of the genetic roulette with no interest in outcomes. If you’re born blonde, it’s always going to take more work for you to have brown hair than someone born with brown hair, but much like dyeing your hair to match what you want, we can train the muscles of your voice and the neural pathways for hearing to do what you want.  The differences between Rileys and Kennedys are very small. If Riley didn’t discover she liked singing and Kennedy worked at it for years then no, Riley would not “start out” as good as Kennedy is after those years. And you can be Riley and if you DON’T do the fucking work, the Annas of the world especially will blast past you and leave you in the dust.  But on the other hand the Rileys get this wonderful cycle of positive reinforcement that does often start from a place of their coincidental physical embodiment giving them a slight leg up. And pretending that’s not the case does a big disservice to the Kennedys.  We just absolutely do need to reframe that for what it is (a tiny fundamental difference and then a HELL OF A LOT OF “this is fun so I practice more so I get more validation so I -” and more or less no moral meaning at all), what it doesn’t mean, and how to compensate for it. 
Anna, Brains, and Church: SKILL
 HARD
 WORK
 TO ACHIEVE A LEVEL
 OF SKILL IN ANYTHING
 YOU HAVE TO STAND ON
 A PILLAR OF HARD WORK.
 OH, I JUST
 STARTED
 HERE
 TALENT & I HARD
 WORK
 TALENTHARD
 WORK
 owLTURD.com
violent-darts:

charlesoberonn:

jelloapocalypse:

These bother me sometimes.
We all start as literal useless babies. No one gets a magic ticket that makes them better at anything. If someone says they “never practice” it’s probably because they like doing the skill and see it as a fun use of their time instead of “practice”.


I will qualify this a small but I think important amount, because what it is is actually complicated: 
Some people’s brains and nervous systems are wired for better hand-eye coordination. Some people’s brains and nervous systems are wired for better pattern recognition. Or translations of audio input. Or whatever. 
What this does is combine with @jelloapocalypse‘s EXTREMELY WELL-OBSERVED COMMENT (If someone says they “never practice” it’s probably because they like doing the skill and see it as a fun use of their time instead of “practice”.) in a way that can be both invisible and give this kind of person a massive leg up while being really discouraging to someone who doesn’t have that wiring. 
It doesn’t get to the actual original comic’s level of “oh I just started here”. But let’s take two people called Riley and Kennedy, and we’ll do singing, since that’s what I teach. 
Riley and Kennedy have exactly the same kind of background: parents who listen to the radio sometimes, the usual social stuff around popular music of whatever genre, etc, but no formal training. Neither of them sings in a church choir, neither of them falls into a formal disability category, whatever. 
The first time Riley shows up in my studio and we sing a really simple song I use as a diagnostic, she gets it mostly right. She can follow the tune; she can hear pitch, and it takes very little work for her to chivvy her voice into matching that pitch as long as there’s not something pulling her off. (In other words: as long as I’m singing the same notes as her and playing them on the piano, and as long a she can hear both herself and those notes). 
For Riley the lesson is really fun and validating and she goes home and sings along to her own music for a while and comes back next week with six songs she wants to try learning. And most of her lessons are like that: pretty easy positive feedback. That means Riley “practices” a lot in exactly the way @jelloapocalypse describes, even if she doesn’t think she’s actually practicing (that is, sitting down to sing the songs we’re working on together in a systematic way) at all. 
In contrast, the first time Kennedy comes to my studio, she struggles. It’s harder for her to hear the difference between notes, and it’s much harder for her to make her voice actually match the pitch she wants to sing at. When we pull out the diagnostic tune, she mostly manages to drone a few clusters of semi-tones, and while she can hear that she’s Off, it’s actually very hard for her to tell HOW she’s off, or what she should do to correct it. 
In most cases, for Kennedy, lessons - and in fact the overall experience of singing - is not fun. It’s not validating. It’s a whole process of Not Being Good, of Doing Things Wrong, and given the way humans are often in casual situations being laughed at. When Kennedy goes home she doesn’t sing along with any music she plays: she keeps her lips pressed together and at best enjoys other people singing (and maybe feels envious and demeaned because she can’t do it). 
Now the thing is, the practical “skill” difference for Riley and Kennedy here at the beginning is minimal. But the Rileys will tend (if they like what they’re doing) to ROCKET UP THE SKILL LEVEL, because of the “practice is fun so it’s just the thing I do” - because there is always a bunch of validation and positive reinforcement in the act of doing whatever it is, be it doodling or singing or math. 
The Kennedys won’t. In fact if they’re not lucky enough to have a good teacher, and one who can put a lot of this into perspective for them, they will tend to be inhibited. The worst time is when a Riley and a Kennedy are friends and sign up to learn together, and Riley takes off and Kennedy’s left sitting there feeling like she’s somehow Deeply Flawed. 
 And in fact the whole Doctrine of “It’s Just About How Hard You Work” will in and of itself become part of what inhibits them, because they will watch the Rileys - and even the Annas, Anna in this metaphor being the Totally Normal Student who never really exists - grasp things faster than they do, even if they ARE working hard. And this will HAPPEN. They will watch this reality happen in front of them … and then people say to them “oh, it’s all about how hard you work, dear.” And it’s like being gaslit. (Well, to be fair: it IS being gaslit, just without malice intended on the part of the people doing it.) 
And that message is horribly horribly toxic: here Kennedy is, and she IS working hard, but she’s still not progressing as fast as Riley or Anna no matter what she does! But it’s All About Hard Work, right? So that must mean that no matter how hard she THINKS she’s working, she’s actually just lazy, or doesn’t want it enough. It’s clearly a moral flaw in her. 
I actually have, personally, really good luck with teaching the Kennedys because I literally have this conversation with them when they come to my studio. I actually outright tell them: firstly, anyone who has working vocal chords can sing. Anyone who has working vocal chords and the ability to distinguish audio pitch can even sing on key in tune! But some people have an easy time learning this and some people have a hard time, and sometimes which it is has some relationship to, say, “early exposure to music” or whatever but sometimes it seems to be utterly fucking random - pure luck of the draw. 
You CAN SING. The capability is there. And if you want to we will find out how to make it happen. It might not happen as fast as for some other person, it might take more work, it might take more care, but that’s okay: that’s not your fault, that doesn’t mean you’re NOT working hard, but it does mean that here at the beginning we do things like recalibrate victories, we make your progress about YOU, not about Riley or Anna. 
But I’m also not going to gaslight you or make you feel like you’re either delusional or somehow especially So Terrible You Don’t Fit In The Rest Of The World: sure, I’ve got some Riley-types who walk in here, noodle around, and we go on to Art Songs. They exist. 
So what? Tall people exist. People with broad shoulders exist. People with dark hair exist. Physical embodiment and neurology hand out luck of the genetic roulette with no interest in outcomes. If you’re born blonde, it’s always going to take more work for you to have brown hair than someone born with brown hair, but much like dyeing your hair to match what you want, we can train the muscles of your voice and the neural pathways for hearing to do what you want. 
The differences between Rileys and Kennedys are very small. If Riley didn’t discover she liked singing and Kennedy worked at it for years then no, Riley would not “start out” as good as Kennedy is after those years. And you can be Riley and if you DON’T do the fucking work, the Annas of the world especially will blast past you and leave you in the dust. 
But on the other hand the Rileys get this wonderful cycle of positive reinforcement that does often start from a place of their coincidental physical embodiment giving them a slight leg up. And pretending that’s not the case does a big disservice to the Kennedys. 
We just absolutely do need to reframe that for what it is (a tiny fundamental difference and then a HELL OF A LOT OF “this is fun so I practice more so I get more validation so I -” and more or less no moral meaning at all), what it doesn’t mean, and how to compensate for it. 

violent-darts: charlesoberonn: jelloapocalypse: These bother me sometimes. We all start as literal useless babies. No one gets a magic ti...