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Anaconda, Crying, and Friends: r/AskReddit u/wtdoido.8h Parents, what was the moment when you felt the most proud of your child? Discussion hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h Went in for a conference with the kindergarten teacher and after we covered the academic stuff, teacher said, "I have to tell you something." She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he can play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here full time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Shit "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.) "You know she's the one all the kids want to be friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean girl. That kid is autistic....) "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he carn lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here ful time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Note: I found out later that "if something bothers him" was a specific color that freaked him out She got all the kids to get rid of that color crayons, colored pencils, and got permission from the teacher to take down everything on the walls that had that color. Kids also completely stopped wearing that color shirt, because she made sure they understood that it hurt him Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were able to mainstream him 100% Reply 613 positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read
Anaconda, Crying, and Friends: r/AskReddit
 u/wtdoido.8h
 Parents, what was the moment when
 you felt the most proud of your child?
 Discussion
 hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h
 Went in for a conference with the kindergarten
 teacher and after we covered the academic stuff,
 teacher said, "I have to tell you something."
 She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit
 next to him at his table. She has made the entire
 class adapt their recess games so that he can
 play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like
 to be touched, so she figures out different rules
 for him so that he can play. She sticks up for
 him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it
 isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I
 can never comment on another child but anyone
 can observe that he used to be in our classroom
 one hour a day and now he is here full
 time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she
 does nothing else, ever, she has changed one
 Shit
 "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.)
 "You know she's the one all the kids want to be
 friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh
 shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean
 girl. That kid is autistic....)
 "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit
 next to him at his table. She has made the entire
 class adapt their recess games so that he carn
 lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like
 to be touched, so she figures out different rules
 for him so that he can play. She sticks up for
 him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it
 isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I
 can never comment on another child but anyone
 can observe that he used to be in our classroom
 one hour a day and now he is here ful
 time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she
 does nothing else, ever, she has changed one
 Note: I found out later that "if something bothers
 him" was a specific color that freaked him out
 She got all the kids to get rid of that color
 crayons, colored pencils, and got permission
 from the teacher to take down everything on the
 walls that had that color. Kids also completely
 stopped wearing that color shirt, because she
 made sure they understood that it hurt him
 Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were
 able to mainstream him 100%
 Reply 613
positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read

positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read

Anaconda, Crying, and Friends: r/AskReddit u/wtdoido.8h Parents, what was the moment when you felt the most proud of your child? Discussion hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h Went in for a conference with the kindergarten teacher and after we covered the academic stuff, teacher said, "I have to tell you something." She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he can play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here full time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Shit "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.) "You know she's the one all the kids want to be friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean girl. That kid is autistic....) "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he carn lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here ful time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Note: I found out later that "if something bothers him" was a specific color that freaked him out She got all the kids to get rid of that color crayons, colored pencils, and got permission from the teacher to take down everything on the walls that had that color. Kids also completely stopped wearing that color shirt, because she made sure they understood that it hurt him Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were able to mainstream him 100% Reply 613 positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read
Anaconda, Crying, and Friends: r/AskReddit
 u/wtdoido.8h
 Parents, what was the moment when
 you felt the most proud of your child?
 Discussion
 hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h
 Went in for a conference with the kindergarten
 teacher and after we covered the academic stuff,
 teacher said, "I have to tell you something."
 She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit
 next to him at his table. She has made the entire
 class adapt their recess games so that he can
 play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like
 to be touched, so she figures out different rules
 for him so that he can play. She sticks up for
 him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it
 isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I
 can never comment on another child but anyone
 can observe that he used to be in our classroom
 one hour a day and now he is here full
 time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she
 does nothing else, ever, she has changed one
 Shit
 "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.)
 "You know she's the one all the kids want to be
 friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh
 shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean
 girl. That kid is autistic....)
 "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit
 next to him at his table. She has made the entire
 class adapt their recess games so that he carn
 lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like
 to be touched, so she figures out different rules
 for him so that he can play. She sticks up for
 him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it
 isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I
 can never comment on another child but anyone
 can observe that he used to be in our classroom
 one hour a day and now he is here ful
 time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she
 does nothing else, ever, she has changed one
 Note: I found out later that "if something bothers
 him" was a specific color that freaked him out
 She got all the kids to get rid of that color
 crayons, colored pencils, and got permission
 from the teacher to take down everything on the
 walls that had that color. Kids also completely
 stopped wearing that color shirt, because she
 made sure they understood that it hurt him
 Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were
 able to mainstream him 100%
 Reply 613
positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read

positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read

Church, Fire, and Internet: DISORDERLY Oct. 1 - A group of students playing hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center at 11 p.m. caused a faculty member to call the University Police. The police arrived but were not able to find any of the students. deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again. Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.
Church, Fire, and Internet: DISORDERLY
 Oct. 1 - A group of students
 playing hide and seek in the
 Harris Fine Arts Center at 11
 p.m. caused a faculty member
 to call the University Police.
 The police arrived but were
 not able to find any of the
 students.
deadmomjokes:
owl-librarian:
#you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek
Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again.
Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

deadmomjokes: owl-librarian: #you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek Having gone to this University, and having personally p...

Disney, Family, and Girls: Megan Greenwell @megreenwell after seeing 'get out' in a very white crowd, all of us cheering wildly for chris, i keep remembering this, from elif batuman's 'the idiot. recognize it and laugh. I found myself remembering the day in kindergarten whe the teachers showed us Dumbo: a Disney movie about a puny, weind looking circus elephant that everyone made fun of. As the story u- folded, I realized to my amazement that all the kids in the class, even the bullies, the ones who despised and tormented the weak and the ugly, were rooting against Dumbo's tormentors. Over and over thry laughed and cheered, both when Dumbo succeeded and when biu things happened to the bullies. But they're you, I thought to myel. How did they not know? They didn't know. It was astounding, im astounding truth. Everyone thougbt they were Dumbo. Again and again I saw the phenomenon repeated. The mosta trary and tyrannical girls, the ones who started secret clubs to ostr youstillhateblacktranswomen: feamir: ithelpstodream: bringing this one back When I went to see Tangled with my family, I was terrified of having to talk about the movie afterwards because I related so much to Rapunzel, and I was sure my mom would hate the movie because it was so obvious that she was exactly like mother gothel. So when mom asked me afterwards if I liked it I gave a tepid non-answer. But then my mom started talking about how she loved the movie! And it slowly dawned on me that she also saw mother gothel as evil and abusive, but somehow didn’t make the connection that she and her were the same. My mom even made a comment to the effect of how, like rapunzel’s real mom, her love for me would always triumph or whatever. And she didn’t get it! She didn’t see the similarities of how she locked me away in the house, or how she kept me under the tightest supervision under the guise of keeping me safe. I spent the entire mother knows best song stealing glances at her next to me in the theater just waiting for her to drag us out of the movie because she couldn’t stand to have her “love” portrayed as evil. And she didn’t see how the fact that she created her identity completely around being a mother and nothing else was like mother gothel’s dependency on rapunzel’s magic hair. It was only after seeing her positive reaction to the movie, that I really understood the meaning of the phrase “everyone is the hero of their own story”. No one actually thinks they’re the villain, even if confronted with a painfully obvious rendering of their own actions done by someone they agree is rightly portrayed as evil. “everyone is the hero of their own story”. No one actually thinks they’re the villain, even if confronted with a painfully obvious rendering of their own actions done by someone they agree is rightly portrayed as evil.
Disney, Family, and Girls: Megan Greenwell
 @megreenwell
 after seeing 'get out' in a very white
 crowd, all of us cheering wildly for
 chris, i keep remembering this,
 from elif batuman's 'the idiot.
 recognize it and laugh.
 I found myself remembering the day in kindergarten whe
 the teachers showed us Dumbo: a Disney movie about a puny, weind
 looking circus elephant that everyone made fun of. As the story u-
 folded, I realized to my amazement that all the kids in the class, even
 the bullies, the ones who despised and tormented the weak and the
 ugly, were rooting against Dumbo's tormentors. Over and over thry
 laughed and cheered, both when Dumbo succeeded and when biu
 things happened to the bullies. But they're you, I thought to myel.
 How did they not know? They didn't know. It was astounding, im
 astounding truth. Everyone thougbt they were Dumbo.
 Again and again I saw the phenomenon repeated. The mosta
 trary and tyrannical girls, the ones who started secret clubs to ostr
youstillhateblacktranswomen:
feamir:

ithelpstodream:

bringing this one back

When I went to see Tangled with my family, I was terrified of having to talk about the movie afterwards because I related so much to Rapunzel, and I was sure my mom would hate the movie because it was so obvious that she was exactly like mother gothel. So when mom asked me afterwards if I liked it I gave a tepid non-answer. But then my mom started talking about how she loved the movie! And it slowly dawned on me that she also saw mother gothel as evil and abusive, but somehow didn’t make the connection that she and her were the same. My mom even made a comment to the effect of how, like rapunzel’s real mom, her love for me would always triumph or whatever. And she didn’t get it! 
She didn’t see the similarities of how she locked me away in the house, or how she kept me under the tightest supervision under the guise of keeping me safe. I spent the entire mother knows best song stealing glances at her next to me in the theater just waiting for her to drag us out of the movie because she couldn’t stand to have her “love” portrayed as evil. And she didn’t see how the fact that she created her identity completely around being a mother and nothing else was like mother gothel’s dependency on rapunzel’s magic hair. 
It was only after seeing her positive reaction to the movie, that I really understood the meaning of the phrase “everyone is the hero of their own story”. No one actually thinks they’re the villain, even if confronted with a painfully obvious rendering of their own actions done by someone they agree is rightly portrayed as evil. 

“everyone is the hero of their own story”. No one actually thinks they’re the villain, even if confronted with a painfully obvious rendering of their own actions done by someone they agree is rightly portrayed as evil.

youstillhateblacktranswomen: feamir: ithelpstodream: bringing this one back When I went to see Tangled with my family, I was terrified of...

Apparently, Bad, and Click: Strongly Slightly Not sure/in Slightly Strongly Disagree Disagree between Agree Agree 1. I feel discouraged about the way things are going. goodluckdetective: theseriouscynic: vanillayote: clinicallydepressedpug: jinxasaurus: draggle: slashmarks: rosalinarosee: angst420: tantefledermaus: fromonesurvivortoanother: telegantmess: angryflyingstar: angst420: job applications just keep getting weirder….. pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.” I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil. this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals   When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.   “Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes.       The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”      The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?”  “Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.        The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”       The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?” Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.   ^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly :( And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden. Oh! That explains why even having friends and my then-husband proofread these every time didn’t even work. They may not be as weird as me, but they’re not neurotypical. We all read the questions tantefledermaus mentioned as observational skills! Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things. My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think. Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz. So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree” Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out. For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire” It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.
Apparently, Bad, and Click: Strongly Slightly Not sure/in Slightly Strongly
 Disagree Disagree between Agree
 Agree
 1. I feel discouraged about the way things are going.
goodluckdetective:
theseriouscynic:

vanillayote:

clinicallydepressedpug:

jinxasaurus:

draggle:

slashmarks:

rosalinarosee:

angst420:

tantefledermaus:

fromonesurvivortoanother:

telegantmess:

angryflyingstar:

angst420:

job applications just keep getting weirder…..

pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly

also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.” I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil.

this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals 

 When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.  
“Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes. 
     The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”
     The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?” 
“Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.  
     The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”
      The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?”
Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.  

^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly :(

And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied

Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden.

Oh!  That explains why even having friends and my then-husband proofread these every time didn’t even work.  They may not be as weird as me, but they’re not neurotypical.  We all read the questions tantefledermaus mentioned as observational skills!

Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things.

My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think. 

Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz. 
So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree”

Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks

It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out.
For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire”
It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.

goodluckdetective: theseriouscynic: vanillayote: clinicallydepressedpug: jinxasaurus: draggle: slashmarks: rosalinarosee: angst420: ...

Apparently, Bad, and Click: Strongly Slightly Not sure/in Slightly Strongly Disagree Disagree between Agree Agree 1. I feel discouraged about the way things are going. goodluckdetective: theseriouscynic: vanillayote: clinicallydepressedpug: jinxasaurus: draggle: slashmarks: rosalinarosee: angst420: tantefledermaus: fromonesurvivortoanother: telegantmess: angryflyingstar: angst420: job applications just keep getting weirder….. pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.” I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil. this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals   When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.   “Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes.       The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”      The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?”  “Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.        The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”       The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?” Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.   ^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly :( And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden. Oh! That explains why even having friends and my then-husband proofread these every time didn’t even work. They may not be as weird as me, but they’re not neurotypical. We all read the questions tantefledermaus mentioned as observational skills! Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things. My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think. Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz. So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree” Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out. For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire” It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.
Apparently, Bad, and Click: Strongly Slightly Not sure/in Slightly Strongly
 Disagree Disagree between Agree
 Agree
 1. I feel discouraged about the way things are going.
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job applications just keep getting weirder…..

pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly

also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.” I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil.

this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals 

 When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.  
“Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes. 
     The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”
     The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?” 
“Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.  
     The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”
      The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?”
Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.  

^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly :(

And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied

Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden.

Oh!  That explains why even having friends and my then-husband proofread these every time didn’t even work.  They may not be as weird as me, but they’re not neurotypical.  We all read the questions tantefledermaus mentioned as observational skills!

Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things.

My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think. 

Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz. 
So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree”

Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks

It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out.
For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire”
It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.

goodluckdetective: theseriouscynic: vanillayote: clinicallydepressedpug: jinxasaurus: draggle: slashmarks: rosalinarosee: angst420: ...