freezing


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

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    freezing: I’m also freezing cold all the time
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                freezing: I’m also freezing cold all the time
                
            

            
            
I’m also freezing cold all the time

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    freezing: ups-dogs:On a dark and lonely night in the hills outside of Newberg, Oregon…a forlorn, feeble, famished, freezing, four-legged figure falters slowly towards my truck, trembling gingerly on arthritic limbs in the icy winter air.His grey muzzle and sorrowful eyes tell a sad tale of many years of hunger, pain and despair. A faint and sorrowful whimper emits from his throat as he gazes beseechingly at my bountiful box of biscuits, hoping against hope that I might ease his pangs of hunger and grant him one more night of survival by sharing a small morsel of sustenance with him.My heartstrings taut with compassion, I dig deep into my biscuit box and gently place 4 biscuits into his quivering jowls, praying with all my might that I have arrived in time to prevent his imminent starvation.And then…the magic happens.Like Popeye eating his can of spinach, an incredible transformation suddenly takes place. He is cured! The pain in his limbs is gone! His eyes sparkle! In less than a second, strength and vigor have returned to his formerly weak and malnourished body! In one bound he leaps from the steps of the truck and proceeds to to zoomies all about the yard like a puppy 12 years his junior, his speed turning him into a veritable blur, before running into the house thru his dog door. Through the living room window I see him leap up onto his spot on the couch next to the woodstove, a veritable blizzard of biscuit crumbs flying all over the lap of his human as he chomps happily away at the bounty of goodness that I have bestowed upon him. With tears of joy in my eyes I proceed to drive away, feeling a solemn pride in the knowledge that my generosity has saved this once-suffering dog from what was most certainly an imminent death from starvation. And to those of you who claim that I have merely been bamboozled and bewitched out of biscuits by a canine con artist, I say this; I am a trained professional with years of experience. Do I REALLY look like a guy who could get manipulated out of treats by a mere dog?By Scott Hodges
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                freezing: ups-dogs:On a dark and lonely night in the hills outside of Newberg, Oregon…a forlorn, feeble, famished, freezing, four-legged figure falters slowly towards my truck, trembling gingerly on arthritic limbs in the icy winter air.His grey muzzle and sorrowful eyes tell a sad tale of many years of hunger, pain and despair. A faint and sorrowful whimper emits from his throat as he gazes beseechingly at my bountiful box of biscuits, hoping against hope that I might ease his pangs of hunger and grant him one more night of survival by sharing a small morsel of sustenance with him.My heartstrings taut with compassion, I dig deep into my biscuit box and gently place 4 biscuits into his quivering jowls, praying with all my might that I have arrived in time to prevent his imminent starvation.And then…the magic happens.Like Popeye eating his can of spinach, an incredible transformation suddenly takes place. He is cured! The pain in his limbs is gone! His eyes sparkle! In less than a second, strength and vigor have returned to his formerly weak and malnourished body! In one bound he leaps from the steps of the truck and proceeds to to zoomies all about the yard like a puppy 12 years his junior, his speed turning him into a veritable blur, before running into the house thru his dog door. Through the living room window I see him leap up onto his spot on the couch next to the woodstove, a veritable blizzard of biscuit crumbs flying all over the lap of his human as he chomps happily away at the bounty of goodness that I have bestowed upon him. With tears of joy in my eyes I proceed to drive away, feeling a solemn pride in the knowledge that my generosity has saved this once-suffering dog from what was most certainly an imminent death from starvation. And to those of you who claim that I have merely been bamboozled and bewitched out of biscuits by a canine con artist, I say this; I am a trained professional with years of experience. Do I REALLY look like a guy who could get manipulated out of treats by a mere dog?By Scott Hodges
                
            

            
            
ups-dogs:On a dark and lonely night in the hills outside of Newberg, Oregon…a forlorn, feeble, famished, freezing, four-legged figure fal...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    freezing: why-animals-do-the-thing:

actualaster:

kidzbopdeathgrips:

sydario:


springcottage:
thedragonwoodconservancy on ig

laser gun gator boys


oh my god i didn’t realize this video had audio

Okay as adorable as this looks, I’m pretty sure that’s a distress sound?  A “mommy help me I’m scared come save me!” sound?
@why-animals-do-the-thing

This video is from Dragonwood Wildlife Conservancy, and they are yearling (last year’s babies) Cuban crocodiles. Good news for you, this isn’t actually a distress call! According to @kaijutegu​ (and her giant bookshelf full of reptile resources), the laser sounds are an affiliative social call that young Cuban crocodiles use to communicate with their parents. They normally stop making the noise at around two years old, which is approximately when they start dispersing from the family group. 
See, Cuban crocodiles are a super social species - and one of the few where the fathers stick around and provide paternal care for the babies! In the wild, babies would regularly interact with both parents, including when they provide food. This call is basically the type of vocalization that the babies use to communicated with their parents. 
These crocodiles are being hand-raised as part of a private-sector breeding and reintroduction program (because the parents are so protective of their offspring that if you left them the babies to raise, you’d never be able to safely get close to them), and so they’re responding to the guy in the video the same way because he’s constant known safe individual and also the provider of food. He’s not a threat - his presence is a good thing, and he’s worth interacting with because it normally means food. You can also tell from their behavior and body language that they’re not stressed: some of the crocodiles are actively climbing on him and interaction of their own volition, but the ones that aren’t don’t show any indicators of hyper-vigilance. If that were a distress call, every crocodile that heard it would be alert and on edge looking for the threat. Distress calls tend to only happen once or twice, because in the wild continuing to make noise makes a baby more vulnerable: so these crocodiles wouldn’t be continually vocalizing if they felt threatened. There’s no snapping or gaping or freezing, all of which would be behavioral indicators of distress or discomfort. (Here’s a video of a baby nile crocodile being harassed by photographers which will give you a visual reference for both freezing and gaping.)
So, hey, this is certifiably cute - and good for conservation! 



Babus
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                freezing: why-animals-do-the-thing:

actualaster:

kidzbopdeathgrips:

sydario:


springcottage:
thedragonwoodconservancy on ig

laser gun gator boys


oh my god i didn’t realize this video had audio

Okay as adorable as this looks, I’m pretty sure that’s a distress sound?  A “mommy help me I’m scared come save me!” sound?
@why-animals-do-the-thing

This video is from Dragonwood Wildlife Conservancy, and they are yearling (last year’s babies) Cuban crocodiles. Good news for you, this isn’t actually a distress call! According to @kaijutegu​ (and her giant bookshelf full of reptile resources), the laser sounds are an affiliative social call that young Cuban crocodiles use to communicate with their parents. They normally stop making the noise at around two years old, which is approximately when they start dispersing from the family group. 
See, Cuban crocodiles are a super social species - and one of the few where the fathers stick around and provide paternal care for the babies! In the wild, babies would regularly interact with both parents, including when they provide food. This call is basically the type of vocalization that the babies use to communicated with their parents. 
These crocodiles are being hand-raised as part of a private-sector breeding and reintroduction program (because the parents are so protective of their offspring that if you left them the babies to raise, you’d never be able to safely get close to them), and so they’re responding to the guy in the video the same way because he’s constant known safe individual and also the provider of food. He’s not a threat - his presence is a good thing, and he’s worth interacting with because it normally means food. You can also tell from their behavior and body language that they’re not stressed: some of the crocodiles are actively climbing on him and interaction of their own volition, but the ones that aren’t don’t show any indicators of hyper-vigilance. If that were a distress call, every crocodile that heard it would be alert and on edge looking for the threat. Distress calls tend to only happen once or twice, because in the wild continuing to make noise makes a baby more vulnerable: so these crocodiles wouldn’t be continually vocalizing if they felt threatened. There’s no snapping or gaping or freezing, all of which would be behavioral indicators of distress or discomfort. (Here’s a video of a baby nile crocodile being harassed by photographers which will give you a visual reference for both freezing and gaping.)
So, hey, this is certifiably cute - and good for conservation! 



Babus
                
                

                
            

            
            
why-animals-do-the-thing:

actualaster:

kidzbopdeathgrips:

sydario:


springcottage:
thedragonwoodconservancy on ig

laser gun gator bo...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    freezing: Dracovish - Water / Dragon-type
 Arctovish -Water / Ice-type
 IGN
 IGN
 Dracozolt -Electric / Dragon-type
 Arctozolt - Electic / Ice-type
 IGN
 IGN
spacehippieface:

girlfriendluvr:

tsunflowers:
why are these all so fucked up
the fossil pokemon of this gen are inspired by several incidents in britain (and europe at large but mostly britain) where many fossils were put together completely wrong, resulting in shit like this being in actual museums. this particular one (the “otto von guerick unicorn”) is actually from germany, but it’s the funniest of them. see the crystal palace dinosaurs or the piltdown man for british examples
in the game, you’re combining fossils from completely different extinct pokemon, resulting in these monstrosities that have dex entries like this:
“Its mighty legs are capable of running at speeds exceeding 40 mph, but this Pokémon can’t breathe unless it’s underwater.“
“The shaking of its freezing upper half is what generates its electricity. It has a hard time walking around.“
“Though it’s able to capture prey by freezing its surroundings, it has trouble eating the prey afterward because its mouth is on top of its head.“
some of the 8 dex entries even speculate why these pokemon may have gone extinct, which is funny because they never existed in the first place. they’re chimeras that are exclusive to the pokemon universe’s modern times.
the professor lady who puts the fossils together in the pokemon games is even named Cara Liss (careless)
some people have made fanart of what the original pokemon may have looked like, here’s one, here’s another, and here’s a third!



    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                freezing: Dracovish - Water / Dragon-type
 Arctovish -Water / Ice-type
 IGN
 IGN
 Dracozolt -Electric / Dragon-type
 Arctozolt - Electic / Ice-type
 IGN
 IGN
spacehippieface:

girlfriendluvr:

tsunflowers:
why are these all so fucked up
the fossil pokemon of this gen are inspired by several incidents in britain (and europe at large but mostly britain) where many fossils were put together completely wrong, resulting in shit like this being in actual museums. this particular one (the “otto von guerick unicorn”) is actually from germany, but it’s the funniest of them. see the crystal palace dinosaurs or the piltdown man for british examples
in the game, you’re combining fossils from completely different extinct pokemon, resulting in these monstrosities that have dex entries like this:
“Its mighty legs are capable of running at speeds exceeding 40 mph, but this Pokémon can’t breathe unless it’s underwater.“
“The shaking of its freezing upper half is what generates its electricity. It has a hard time walking around.“
“Though it’s able to capture prey by freezing its surroundings, it has trouble eating the prey afterward because its mouth is on top of its head.“
some of the 8 dex entries even speculate why these pokemon may have gone extinct, which is funny because they never existed in the first place. they’re chimeras that are exclusive to the pokemon universe’s modern times.
the professor lady who puts the fossils together in the pokemon games is even named Cara Liss (careless)
some people have made fanart of what the original pokemon may have looked like, here’s one, here’s another, and here’s a third!



                
            

            
            
spacehippieface:

girlfriendluvr:

tsunflowers:
why are these all so fucked up
the fossil pokemon of this gen are inspired by several inc...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    freezing: royaltealovingkookiness:
deeperthanswords:

royaltealovingkookiness:


The first training of Zuko we see, Iroh shoots a fireball right into Zuko’s face - while Zuko just stands there unflinching. It’s the very first episode, and Zuko & Iroh are the obvious villains, and it just seems like some macho bs they do.  And then comes the duel with Zhao, and Zuko is down, but when he sees that flaming fist to his face, something lets loose inside him that helps him turn the fight around…But it’s not until we learn Zuko’s backstory that all this gets a whole new meaning. 
Why would Zuko still be on basics if not because he suffered a huge setback after his agni kai? Imagine how much hard work, patience it was to build Zuko back up again, so he would not freeze in blind panic (or curl up in a ball) when fire gets close to his face. I think Iroh practiced this with him all the time until he could stand there unflinching (knowing that Iroh is in full control of his bending and trusting that his uncle would never hurt him). And when it came to the duel with Zhao, Zuko could react in a RL situation instead of freezing up, and turn all the negative feelings (rage, anger, pain, whatever) into fuel to win the fight against a bender who is much more skilled than he is. 
And Iroh obviously drilled him with control and restraint, because no matter how much he lets his rage loose, he has enough control not to hurt Zhao and enough self-restraint not to burn him at the end. I definitely think it was a deliberate choice on Iroh’s part to hold back on teaching offensive forms to Zuko beyond the basics (knowing that combining those with his unprocessed anger could result in him being out of control and hurt people). Instead, it seems he concentrated on teaching him defensive forms, fire breath, heat control, and so on…


What the FUCK iroh was the real mvp of this whole show my god

Indeed. It goes over many people’s head, but he made a huge difference. It was mostly assists and defensive plays though, not the flashy stuff.
I love that narrative so much, how you change the world one person at a time and not only violence and hate, but also love and kindness creates ripple effects. 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                freezing: royaltealovingkookiness:
deeperthanswords:

royaltealovingkookiness:


The first training of Zuko we see, Iroh shoots a fireball right into Zuko’s face - while Zuko just stands there unflinching. It’s the very first episode, and Zuko & Iroh are the obvious villains, and it just seems like some macho bs they do.  And then comes the duel with Zhao, and Zuko is down, but when he sees that flaming fist to his face, something lets loose inside him that helps him turn the fight around…But it’s not until we learn Zuko’s backstory that all this gets a whole new meaning. 
Why would Zuko still be on basics if not because he suffered a huge setback after his agni kai? Imagine how much hard work, patience it was to build Zuko back up again, so he would not freeze in blind panic (or curl up in a ball) when fire gets close to his face. I think Iroh practiced this with him all the time until he could stand there unflinching (knowing that Iroh is in full control of his bending and trusting that his uncle would never hurt him). And when it came to the duel with Zhao, Zuko could react in a RL situation instead of freezing up, and turn all the negative feelings (rage, anger, pain, whatever) into fuel to win the fight against a bender who is much more skilled than he is. 
And Iroh obviously drilled him with control and restraint, because no matter how much he lets his rage loose, he has enough control not to hurt Zhao and enough self-restraint not to burn him at the end. I definitely think it was a deliberate choice on Iroh’s part to hold back on teaching offensive forms to Zuko beyond the basics (knowing that combining those with his unprocessed anger could result in him being out of control and hurt people). Instead, it seems he concentrated on teaching him defensive forms, fire breath, heat control, and so on…


What the FUCK iroh was the real mvp of this whole show my god

Indeed. It goes over many people’s head, but he made a huge difference. It was mostly assists and defensive plays though, not the flashy stuff.
I love that narrative so much, how you change the world one person at a time and not only violence and hate, but also love and kindness creates ripple effects. 

                
            

            
            
royaltealovingkookiness:
deeperthanswords:

royaltealovingkookiness:


The first training of Zuko we see, Iroh shoots a fireball right in...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    freezing: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                freezing: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

                
            

            
            
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    freezing: 0134 %D21:58
 02-UK e
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response:
 Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountain
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to:
 1. chance crossing the bridge.
 2. Continue down the path.
 3. Stop to fish.
 &
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you.
 run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water.
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 1
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourself
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black...
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks.
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says:
 "Hey you, you're finally awake.
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                freezing: 0134 %D21:58
 02-UK e
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response:
 Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountain
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to:
 1. chance crossing the bridge.
 2. Continue down the path.
 3. Stop to fish.
 &
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you.
 run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water.
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 1
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourself
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black...
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks.
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says:
 "Hey you, you're finally awake.
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    freezing: emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 Shiiting,1idgeting,grinning,L1Cking 11PS
 anticipation rubbing hands together
 slack-jawed, fixed gaze, unable to move
 awe
 clapping hands, shaking with laughter
 amusement
 slapping thighs, throwing head back
 biting smile back
 furrowed/lowered brow, flushed face, pointing
 ander
 or table, clenched fist/jaw, baring teeth
 throbbing veins in neck, scowling
 glaring, eye rolling, pressed lips, sighing
 annoyance
 fidgeting, sweating, playing with jewelry
 quickened breath, dry mouth/swallowing
 anxiety
 biting nails, stuttering, biting lip
 yawning, fridgeting, doodling, tapping feet
 boredom
 or shaking leg, playing with pen/pencil/hair
 lifted chin, head high, puffed chest, back
 straight, shoulders back, deliberate movement
 confidence
 tilted head, furrowed brow, shrugging,
 squinting
 confusion
 lifted chin, smirk, sneer, purse lips
 contempt

 emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 twisted lips, twisted smile, half smile,
 shaking head, rolling eyes
 cynical
 one shoulder shrug, playing with hair/ring
 necklace/earring/earlobe, scratching face/
 nose/neck, shuffling, fidgeting, looking down
 deceptive
 hesitation in speech, nodding while saying no
 shaking head while saving ves, licking lips
 covering/touching mouth
 crossed arms, hands hidden, keeping object
 or person between self and percieved threat
 defensive
 winking, touching hair or clothing, eye
 contact, looking up through lashes, arching
 des1ire
 dilated pupils, stretching
 wide-eyed (shocked), narrow-eyed (suspicious)
 raised brows (shocked),low brow (suspicious),
 crinkled nose, curled lip, turning away
 clenched eyes, covering mouth/nose, flinch
 disqust
 frown, creased brows, crossed arms, pressed
 lips, narrowed eyes
 displeasure
 fidgeting, rubbing/scratching neck, wide-eyed
 distress
 plaving with iewelry, rapid-breathing, fixing
 sleeves, holding self, trembling
 blush, stuttering, stammering, unable to
 embarrassment make eye contact, covering face, holding self,
 blinking back tears, looking down or at lights
 rubbing eyes/temples, yawning, staring off
 slouching, closing eyes, moving slow
 fatique

 emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 shrinking back, wide-eyed, hunched shoulders,
 flinching, shaking/trembling, holding self
 fear
 shaking head, pinching bridge of nose
 frustrationrubing temples, clenching hands
 grinding/clenching teeth
 shaking with sobs, staring off, trembling,
 shuddered breaths, gasping sobs, curling
 in on self, lashing out/hitting things
 grief
 smile, laugh, hum, whistle, dancing, jumping
 hugging, giggling, crinkled eyes
 happiness
 eye contact, open posture, smiling, looking
 honesty
 upwards
 tapping feet, shaking leg, taping fingers
 impatience twirling pen, nodding quickly, checking time
 sighing, looking away
 crossed arms, sneer, narrowed eyes, sour
 expression, tight 1ips
 jealousy
 hands clenched or gripping something
 overwhelmed wide-eyed, missing time/conversations, palms
 to forehead, staring off
 talking fast, leaning forward, nodding,
 raised brows, wide-eyed, eager, double handed
 passionate
 handshake
 smiling, nudging, teasing, poking, winking
 goading, giggling, laughing
 playful

 emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 head back, parted 1ips, eyes wide or closed,
 flushing, quick breath/pulse, arch neck/back
 pleasure
 chin up, back straight, shoulders back, chest
 out, firm handshake, open/spread posture
 pride
 biting lip, pressed lips, crossed arms
 dragging feet, pinching bridge of nose
 reluctance
 slouched posture, holding self, hesitant,
 sadness
 quivering, crying, sobbing, shaking,
 tremblling
 tight smile, hiding hands in pockets/crossed
 arms, looking down/away, covering face
 secretiveness
 bury face in hands, looking down/away
 slumped posture, pressed lips, straight
 mouth, wet eyes
 shame
 eyebrows raised, mouth open, gasp, hands
 over mouth, freezing, stepping back/away
 shock
 dropping objects in hand (s)
 avoiding eye contact, looking away/down
 blushing, bending head, keeping distance
 shyness
 stepping away, holding self
 smirk, one raised eyebrow, corners of mouth
 twitch upwards
 smugnesS
 narrowed eyes, furrowed/creased brow, frown
 tight lips, pressed lips, glance sideways
 watchful agaze
 closed eyes, staring off, stroking/touching
 thoughtfullness neck or jewelry, pinching bridge of nose
 stroke face/beard, rest chin on hand
theonlysaylor:
A Writing Cheat Sheet: for linking actions with emotions. 
As always, click for HD.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                freezing: emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 Shiiting,1idgeting,grinning,L1Cking 11PS
 anticipation rubbing hands together
 slack-jawed, fixed gaze, unable to move
 awe
 clapping hands, shaking with laughter
 amusement
 slapping thighs, throwing head back
 biting smile back
 furrowed/lowered brow, flushed face, pointing
 ander
 or table, clenched fist/jaw, baring teeth
 throbbing veins in neck, scowling
 glaring, eye rolling, pressed lips, sighing
 annoyance
 fidgeting, sweating, playing with jewelry
 quickened breath, dry mouth/swallowing
 anxiety
 biting nails, stuttering, biting lip
 yawning, fridgeting, doodling, tapping feet
 boredom
 or shaking leg, playing with pen/pencil/hair
 lifted chin, head high, puffed chest, back
 straight, shoulders back, deliberate movement
 confidence
 tilted head, furrowed brow, shrugging,
 squinting
 confusion
 lifted chin, smirk, sneer, purse lips
 contempt

 emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 twisted lips, twisted smile, half smile,
 shaking head, rolling eyes
 cynical
 one shoulder shrug, playing with hair/ring
 necklace/earring/earlobe, scratching face/
 nose/neck, shuffling, fidgeting, looking down
 deceptive
 hesitation in speech, nodding while saying no
 shaking head while saving ves, licking lips
 covering/touching mouth
 crossed arms, hands hidden, keeping object
 or person between self and percieved threat
 defensive
 winking, touching hair or clothing, eye
 contact, looking up through lashes, arching
 des1ire
 dilated pupils, stretching
 wide-eyed (shocked), narrow-eyed (suspicious)
 raised brows (shocked),low brow (suspicious),
 crinkled nose, curled lip, turning away
 clenched eyes, covering mouth/nose, flinch
 disqust
 frown, creased brows, crossed arms, pressed
 lips, narrowed eyes
 displeasure
 fidgeting, rubbing/scratching neck, wide-eyed
 distress
 plaving with iewelry, rapid-breathing, fixing
 sleeves, holding self, trembling
 blush, stuttering, stammering, unable to
 embarrassment make eye contact, covering face, holding self,
 blinking back tears, looking down or at lights
 rubbing eyes/temples, yawning, staring off
 slouching, closing eyes, moving slow
 fatique

 emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 shrinking back, wide-eyed, hunched shoulders,
 flinching, shaking/trembling, holding self
 fear
 shaking head, pinching bridge of nose
 frustrationrubing temples, clenching hands
 grinding/clenching teeth
 shaking with sobs, staring off, trembling,
 shuddered breaths, gasping sobs, curling
 in on self, lashing out/hitting things
 grief
 smile, laugh, hum, whistle, dancing, jumping
 hugging, giggling, crinkled eyes
 happiness
 eye contact, open posture, smiling, looking
 honesty
 upwards
 tapping feet, shaking leg, taping fingers
 impatience twirling pen, nodding quickly, checking time
 sighing, looking away
 crossed arms, sneer, narrowed eyes, sour
 expression, tight 1ips
 jealousy
 hands clenched or gripping something
 overwhelmed wide-eyed, missing time/conversations, palms
 to forehead, staring off
 talking fast, leaning forward, nodding,
 raised brows, wide-eyed, eager, double handed
 passionate
 handshake
 smiling, nudging, teasing, poking, winking
 goading, giggling, laughing
 playful

 emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 head back, parted 1ips, eyes wide or closed,
 flushing, quick breath/pulse, arch neck/back
 pleasure
 chin up, back straight, shoulders back, chest
 out, firm handshake, open/spread posture
 pride
 biting lip, pressed lips, crossed arms
 dragging feet, pinching bridge of nose
 reluctance
 slouched posture, holding self, hesitant,
 sadness
 quivering, crying, sobbing, shaking,
 tremblling
 tight smile, hiding hands in pockets/crossed
 arms, looking down/away, covering face
 secretiveness
 bury face in hands, looking down/away
 slumped posture, pressed lips, straight
 mouth, wet eyes
 shame
 eyebrows raised, mouth open, gasp, hands
 over mouth, freezing, stepping back/away
 shock
 dropping objects in hand (s)
 avoiding eye contact, looking away/down
 blushing, bending head, keeping distance
 shyness
 stepping away, holding self
 smirk, one raised eyebrow, corners of mouth
 twitch upwards
 smugnesS
 narrowed eyes, furrowed/creased brow, frown
 tight lips, pressed lips, glance sideways
 watchful agaze
 closed eyes, staring off, stroking/touching
 thoughtfullness neck or jewelry, pinching bridge of nose
 stroke face/beard, rest chin on hand
theonlysaylor:
A Writing Cheat Sheet: for linking actions with emotions. 
As always, click for HD.

                
            

            
            
theonlysaylor:
A Writing Cheat Sheet: for linking actions with emotions. 
As always, click for HD.


            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    freezing: RI#01 34%1021 :58
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response
 1. Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountairn
 2
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to
 1. chance crossing the bridge
 2. Continue down the path
 3. Stop to fish
 3
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you
 1. run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 3
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourseltf
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says
 Hey you, you're finally awake
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Tinder RPG
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                freezing: RI#01 34%1021 :58
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response
 1. Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountairn
 2
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to
 1. chance crossing the bridge
 2. Continue down the path
 3. Stop to fish
 3
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you
 1. run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 3
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourseltf
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says
 Hey you, you're finally awake
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Tinder RPG
                
            

            
            
Tinder RPG

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    freezing: RI#01 34%1021 :58
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response
 1. Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountairn
 2
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to
 1. chance crossing the bridge
 2. Continue down the path
 3. Stop to fish
 3
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you
 1. run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 3
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourseltf
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says
 Hey you, you're finally awake
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Tinder RPG by DannyHallam
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                freezing: RI#01 34%1021 :58
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response
 1. Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountairn
 2
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to
 1. chance crossing the bridge
 2. Continue down the path
 3. Stop to fish
 3
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you
 1. run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 3
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourseltf
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says
 Hey you, you're finally awake
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Tinder RPG by DannyHallam
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Tinder RPG by DannyHallam
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    freezing: RI*034%
 02-UK
 21:58
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response
 1. Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountairn
 2
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to
 1. chance crossing the bridge
 2. Continue down the path
 3. Stop to fish
 3
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you.
 1. run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 3
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourseltf
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black..
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks.
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says
 Hey you, you're finaly awake
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Tinder RPG
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                freezing: RI*034%
 02-UK
 21:58
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response
 1. Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountairn
 2
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to
 1. chance crossing the bridge
 2. Continue down the path
 3. Stop to fish
 3
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you.
 1. run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 3
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourseltf
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black..
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks.
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says
 Hey you, you're finaly awake
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Tinder RPG
                
            

            
            
Tinder RPG