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Anaconda, Ass, and Creampie: be me >fap time >browsing porn websites send up finding a hot video of some dude ramming a hot ass girl ICanWorthWithThis.jpg >fapping >getting close >zooms in on girls face >i Stop >pause the video >holy fuck... thats my best friends mom >im 100% sure of it too. I can tell by the voice and the face, ive seen younger pics of her around his house too, he told me she did some "modeling" when she was younger but its all long gone now, i always suspected it was porn (she told him when she was drunk) >holy fuck finish >devise plan (said friend had pranked me by moving my car and having me think it was stolen for hours) revenge.jpg >download video, cut out all parts of face close ups >distort audio slightly so voices sound different send to my friend via email he thanks me >5 hours later he tells me he just used it, its a great video >literally dying of laughter >keep my mouth shut, go over to his place next day to break the news to him >he tells me the vid is awesome (actually a really hot video) and he used it again literally start crying laughing >he asks me what >i go online and show him full vid, fast forward to face close up >"you just fapped to ur mom bro" >he freezes, hes in shock, ends up coming to terms with it and runs to the bathroom and pukes >hes fucking pissed but im laughing uncontrollably funniest moment of my life to add insult to injuryリokingly say i found ur dad his dad left before his birth, he has pictures of him but never met him, he jokes about it to lighten the situation >"oh very funny anon, fuck you" i go to vid see dude it was made the same year u were born" actually was...strange coincidence >he says fuck you again then freezes >he slowly walks to computer fast forwards to close up of males face the male is Hispanic and he is half hispanic >the video is a creampie videc >he runs out and grabs a picture of his dad (picture is from when his mom was pregnant, he left on the 8th month of pregnancy) holds it next to screen fuck fuck bricks shat Its his fucking dad Sthe resemblance is too close to not be. same hairstyle same looks same cofor skin >wtf >l immediately feel like a piece of fucking shit >I just revealed to my closest bro his birth was a porno gone wrong She starts to cry leaves room and grabs mom pulls her in >she freezes at site of video >she starts to cry It was true... .he fucking just fapped to his conception l apologize, don't even know what to say
Anaconda, Ass, and Creampie: be me
 >fap time
 >browsing porn websites
 send up finding a hot video of some dude ramming a hot ass girl
 ICanWorthWithThis.jpg
 >fapping
 >getting close
 >zooms in on girls face
 >i Stop
 >pause the video
 >holy fuck... thats my best friends mom
 >im 100% sure of it too. I can tell by the voice and the face, ive seen younger pics of her around his house too, he told me she did some "modeling" when she was younger but its
 all long gone now, i always suspected it was porn (she told him when she was drunk)
 >holy fuck
 finish
 >devise plan (said friend had pranked me by moving my car and having me think it was stolen for hours)
 revenge.jpg
 >download video, cut out all parts of face close ups
 >distort audio slightly so voices sound different
 send to my friend via email
 he thanks me
 >5 hours later he tells me he just used it, its a great video
 >literally dying of laughter
 >keep my mouth shut, go over to his place next day to break the news to him
 >he tells me the vid is awesome (actually a really hot video) and he used it again
 literally start crying laughing
 >he asks me what
 >i go online and show him full vid, fast forward to face close up
 >"you just fapped to ur mom bro"
 >he freezes, hes in shock, ends up coming to terms with it and runs to the bathroom and pukes
 >hes fucking pissed but im laughing uncontrollably
 funniest moment of my life
 to add insult to injuryリokingly say i found ur dad his dad left before his birth, he has pictures of him but never met him, he jokes about it to lighten the situation
 >"oh very funny anon, fuck you"
 i go to vid see dude it was made the same year u were born"
 actually was...strange coincidence
 >he says fuck you again then freezes
 >he slowly walks to computer
 fast forwards to close up of males face
 the male is Hispanic and he is half hispanic
 >the video is a creampie videc
 >he runs out and grabs a picture of his dad (picture is from when his mom was pregnant, he left on the 8th month of pregnancy)
 holds it next to screen
 fuck
 fuck
 bricks shat
 Its his fucking dad
 Sthe resemblance is too close to not be. same hairstyle same looks same cofor skin
 >wtf
 >l immediately feel like a piece of fucking shit
 >I just revealed to my closest bro his birth was a porno gone wrong
 She starts to cry
 leaves room and grabs mom
 pulls her in
 >she freezes at site of video
 >she starts to cry
 It was true... .he fucking just fapped to his conception
 l apologize, don't even know what to say
Fire, Fuck You, and Fucking: B7ykhpZCMAImKPRipg (67 KB, 600x438) google igdb wait Anonymous 08/07/16(Sun)09:46:51 No.30903012 30903052 3090305830903079> 30903110 3090315130903168 30903205 30903248 3090331730903518 30903524 3090353730903653 >30903688 30904260 >3090426830904343 3090435330904581 >>30905773>30906176 30906196 >3090621130906252> 30906715 >3090983230910199 A fairy appears and says you can have any single gun in the world for free. You cannot sell the gun or trade it you must keep it If your country has any firearm laws preventing it, they make an exception for youu What do you choose and why? Anonymous 08/07/16(Sun)09:50:15 No 30903048 Orban cannon. 69dab 1104ed5403415 18552. ig (55 KB, 736x489) google igdb wait Anonymous 08107/16(Sun)10:42:34 No.30903561 30903650 230910185 EU says goodbye ing (79 KB, 500x319) google igdb wait If the wish includes unlimited ammo, pic related. DORA and i dont need to explain why be anon magical fairy shows up says I can have any gun I want evil grin spreads across my face ê±°CH VIL HAB DER SCHERER GUSTAV, BITTE -I'm not even german fairy rolls its eyes and flicks wand marvel of german engineering appears in my back yard and also my neighbour garys yard fuck you gary, I dare you to say something about this fucking gary Anyway l start wondering what to shoot it at suddenly it comes to me all those fucking years all that lunch money all the wedgies and swirlies every single moment comes rushing back -Chad manage to ignore my endless, thundering erection long enough to have a rough idea of how to load it don't have a crane, though buy a couple floor jacks, eventually figure out a way to make it work still gunna have to muscle it around spend the next 10 days getting it ready to fire have to take breaks to masturbate to how awesome this thing is finally get it ready to fire only took 2 hernias and a torn ligament it's aimed at chad's house and his stupid fucking truck fuck you chad l know this is gunna be loud really loud double up on the earpro because Im a fucking gear queer dressed up in my German ww2 repro gear for the occasion make last minute checks FEUER fire the entire neighbourhood shakes every window shattered every car alarm going off I'm pretty sure that crack den down the street just exploded too >this is going to be on the fucking richter scale looking in the general direction of chads house see a flash and black smoke on the edge of the horizon >several seconds later, sounds like a thunder clap l can hear sirens they dont even know where to go people 5 miles away reported a gunshot people 3 miles away reported an explosion people near Chad are all fucking dead I levelled his entire neighbourhood though cops were scared it was nuclear Turns out chad was at work -prepare for the next shot fucking chad
Fire, Fuck You, and Fucking: B7ykhpZCMAImKPRipg (67 KB, 600x438) google igdb wait
 Anonymous 08/07/16(Sun)09:46:51 No.30903012 30903052 3090305830903079> 30903110 3090315130903168 30903205
 30903248 3090331730903518 30903524 3090353730903653 >30903688 30904260 >3090426830904343 3090435330904581
 >>30905773>30906176 30906196 >3090621130906252> 30906715 >3090983230910199
 A fairy appears and says you can have any single gun in the world for free. You cannot sell the gun or trade it you must keep it If your country has any firearm
 laws preventing it, they make an exception for youu
 What do you choose and why?
 Anonymous 08/07/16(Sun)09:50:15 No 30903048
 Orban cannon.
 69dab 1104ed5403415 18552. ig (55 KB, 736x489) google igdb wait
 Anonymous 08107/16(Sun)10:42:34 No.30903561 30903650 230910185
 EU says goodbye ing (79 KB, 500x319) google igdb wait
 If the wish includes unlimited ammo, pic related.
 DORA
 and i dont need to explain why
 be anon
 magical fairy shows up
 says I can have any gun I want
 evil grin spreads across my face
 ê±°CH VIL HAB DER SCHERER GUSTAV, BITTE
 -I'm not even german
 fairy rolls its eyes and flicks wand
 marvel of german engineering appears in my back yard
 and also my neighbour garys yard
 fuck you gary, I dare you to say something about this
 fucking gary
 Anyway
 l start wondering what to shoot it at
 suddenly it comes to me
 all those fucking years
 all that lunch money
 all the wedgies and swirlies
 every single moment comes rushing back
 -Chad
 manage to ignore my endless, thundering erection long enough to have a rough idea of how to load it
 don't have a crane, though
 buy a couple floor jacks, eventually figure out a way to make it work
 still gunna have to muscle it around
 spend the next 10 days getting it ready to fire
 have to take breaks to masturbate to how awesome this thing is
 finally get it ready to fire
 only took 2 hernias and a torn ligament
 it's aimed at chad's house
 and his stupid fucking truck
 fuck you chad
 l know this is gunna be loud
 really loud
 double up on the earpro because Im a fucking gear queer
 dressed up in my German ww2 repro gear for the occasion
 make last minute checks
 FEUER
 fire
 the entire neighbourhood shakes
 every window shattered
 every car alarm going off
 I'm pretty sure that crack den down the street just exploded too
 >this is going to be on the fucking richter scale
 looking in the general direction of chads house
 see a flash and black smoke on the edge of the horizon
 >several seconds later, sounds like a thunder clap
 l can hear sirens
 they dont even know where to go
 people 5 miles away reported a gunshot
 people 3 miles away reported an explosion
 people near Chad are all fucking dead
 I levelled his entire neighbourhood though
 cops were scared it was nuclear
 Turns out chad was at work
 -prepare for the next shot
 fucking chad