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Go To The Doctor: Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 1/8 Yesterday, Francisco Galicia, a high school senior born in Dallas, TX called his mother for the first time after being released from nearly a month of illegal detainment in U.S. Concentration camps at the hands of CBP and ICE. He was held in "inhumane" conditions, he told me. South Texas 566 Veterans Drive 3:02 PM Jul 24, 2019 Twitter for iPhone Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h Replying to @GaretBleir 2/8 Francisco, a U.s. born citizen, was detained by Border Patrol on June 27th at a checkpoint in Falfurrias, Texas while driving with his friends on their way to a college soccer scouting event. At the checkpoint, he showed Border Patrol agents proof of his birth in the U... 1 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h 3/8 he had on him - his Texas State ID, his wallet-sized birth certificate, and his social security card, but the agents told him they believed the documents weren't real, his attorney told me. For the entire three weeks he was held captive in CBP custody, Francisco was not... 1 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h 4/8 allowed to use the phone, even for calls to his attorney or to his mother who feared he would be deported. It wasn't until Saturday, after being transferred to ICE custody, that he was allowed to make a collect phone call. 3 1 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h 5/8 Despite multiple attempts by family members and his attorney to give further proof of his U.S. citizenship, it wasn't until the attorney took this to the news media and grassroots activists throughout Texas that ICE finally released Francisco, she says. 1 t 1 4 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h 6/8 The attorney was told that she would have to present the documents to ICE officials upon arrival at South Texas Detention Complex in Pearsall, TX but after a handful of activists and reporters arrived at the detention facility... 9 1 3 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h 7/8. we watched as ICE officials released Francisco without even speaking to the attorney. This further shows that the officials not only had the proper documentation for his release, they also knew that they had the proper documentation and that he was a U.S. citizen. 1 t 2 5 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h 8/8 I'll be sharing more updates soon, along with videos and photos showing what happened while we were there as soon as possible. Photo: Garet Bleir - Journalism arctic-hands: swan2swan: swan2swan: If you haven’t seen this story, look up his name: Francisco Galicia.  Expect to see him come 2020, when the debates begin and the political battle heats up. Expect to see him in a suit testifying in court, or before Congress. This young man is a witness and a victim, and the fact that this isn’t a more prominent story on every news station is what truly frightens me. From The Dallas News: Galicia says he lost 26 pounds during that time in a South Texas immigrant detention center because officers didn’t provide him with enough food. He said he wasn’t allowed to shower and his skin was dry and dirty. He and 60 other men were crammed into an overcrowded holding area where they slept on the floor and were given only aluminum-foil blankets, he said. Some men had to sleep on the restroom area floor. Ticks bit some of the men and some were very sick, Galicia said. But many were afraid to ask to go to the doctor because CBP officers told them their stay would start over if they did, he said. I would remind you that concentration camps are actually real.  “I told them we had rights and asked to make a phone call. But they told us, ‘You don’t have rights to anything’,” Francisco Galicia said. This is happening. [the screencapped tweets are in initial link]
Go To The Doctor: Garet Bleir
 @GaretBleir
 1/8 Yesterday, Francisco Galicia, a high school senior born in
 Dallas, TX called his mother for the first time after being
 released from nearly a month of illegal detainment in U.S.
 Concentration camps at the hands of CBP and ICE. He was
 held in "inhumane" conditions, he told me.
 South Texas
 566 Veterans Drive
 3:02 PM Jul 24, 2019 Twitter for iPhone

 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h
 Replying to @GaretBleir
 2/8 Francisco, a U.s. born citizen, was detained by Border Patrol on June 27th at a
 checkpoint in Falfurrias, Texas while driving with his friends on their way to a college
 soccer scouting event. At the checkpoint, he showed Border Patrol agents proof of
 his birth in the U...
 1
 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h
 3/8 he had on him - his Texas State ID, his wallet-sized birth certificate, and his social
 security card, but the agents told him they believed the documents weren't real, his
 attorney told me. For the entire three weeks he was held captive in CBP custody,
 Francisco was not...
 1
 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h
 4/8 allowed to use the phone, even for calls to his attorney or to his mother who
 feared he would be deported. It wasn't until Saturday, after being transferred to ICE
 custody, that he was allowed to make a collect phone call.
 3
 1
 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h
 5/8 Despite multiple attempts by family members and his attorney to give further
 proof of his U.S. citizenship, it wasn't until the attorney took this to the news media
 and grassroots activists throughout Texas that ICE finally released Francisco, she says.
 1
 t 1
 4

 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h
 6/8 The attorney was told that she would have to present the documents to ICE
 officials upon arrival at South Texas Detention Complex in Pearsall, TX but after a
 handful of activists and reporters arrived at the detention facility...
 9 1
 3
 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h
 7/8. we watched as ICE officials released Francisco without even speaking to the
 attorney. This further shows that the officials not only had the proper documentation
 for his release, they also knew that they had the proper documentation and that he
 was a U.S. citizen.
 1
 t 2
 5
 Garet Bleir @GaretBleir 21h
 8/8 I'll be sharing more updates soon, along with videos and photos showing what
 happened while we were there as soon as possible. Photo: Garet Bleir - Journalism
arctic-hands:
swan2swan:

swan2swan:

If you haven’t seen this story, look up his name: Francisco Galicia. 
Expect to see him come 2020, when the debates begin and the political battle heats up. Expect to see him in a suit testifying in court, or before Congress. This young man is a witness and a victim, and the fact that this isn’t a more prominent story on every news station is what truly frightens me.

From The Dallas News:

Galicia says he lost 26 pounds during that time in a South Texas immigrant detention center because officers didn’t provide him with enough food. 
He said he wasn’t allowed to shower and his skin was dry and dirty. 
He and 60 other men were crammed into an overcrowded holding area where they slept on the floor and were given only aluminum-foil blankets, he said. Some men had to sleep on the restroom area floor.
Ticks bit some of the men and some were very sick, Galicia said. But many were afraid to ask to go to the doctor because CBP officers told them their stay would start over if they did, he said. 

I would remind you that concentration camps are actually real. 


“I told them we had rights and asked to make a phone call. But they told us, ‘You don’t have rights to anything’,” Francisco Galicia said.


This is happening.


[the screencapped tweets are in initial link]

arctic-hands: swan2swan: swan2swan: If you haven’t seen this story, look up his name: Francisco Galicia.  Expect to see him come 2020,...

Go To The Doctor: goddamnshinyrock: why-animals-do-the-thing: wolfforce58205: zooophagous: caong: zooophagous: theexoticvet: Tick season is already in full swing and it’s going to be one of the worst years for ticks and lyme disease. Make sure your pets are on flea/tick/heartworm prevention and get your dogs vaccinated against lyme! The sun is shining and the grass is green in minnesota today, what a lovely beginning to the impending TICKPOCALYPSE Remember to cover yourselves appropriately if you’re going places with lots of wildlife! Ticks are dangerous for people as well as pets! I’ve always heard to avoid long pants because ticks are easier to notice and remove when they try to climb a bare leg, but I think it’s a matter of preference tbh. What you really need is to use a good repellant made for use in tick heavy areas. I’m not talking citronella essential oils, I mean a real repellant like Deep woods OFF that uses DDT. Spray it on your shoes and inside your shoes. You would be surprised how many ticks start in your socks and work their way up. I have had waaaaaay fewer guests on me after spraying my shoes as well as my legs. If you want to get REALLY serious you can treat your hiking gear in permethrin, or get permethrin treated exercise gear. It’s a very potent, effective substance that kills ticks and other parasites on contact. It’s present in some flea and tick treatments for dogs. But the kicker is, permethrin is also VERY toxic to cats, so if you have a cat and you feel like you need permethrin treated gear, you MUST keep the gear where kitty can’t get it. Friendly reminder to stock up on tick meds for your pets, and repellent for yourself! This year is going to be a BAD one. ALWAYS check yourself after a hike, or any trip outside. Wear bright clothes so it’s easier to see ticks on you, and make sure to do a full-body check when you’re done. This includes checking your hair line and under waistbands or underwear (last tick I found on me was on my butt, and I had been hiking with pants and a long shirt on…trust me, check under your underwear). Remove ticks as soon as you find them, and keep them in a small container or bag (heads completely squished) for identification purposes just in case your bite looks iffy later on. Clean the bite site thoroughly. Be on the look out for any flu-like symptoms, rashes, or red rings around the bite site like a bulls-eye (note: a slight red ring right afterward is normal, see below for what “bad” looks like). Usually if you get a tick off in the first 24 hours you’ll be ok, so long as you didn’t agitate the tick, but if you notice anything abnormal go to the doctor ASAP. If your tick was engorged when removed, be especially on the lookout. It’s always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to the nasty diseases ticks can carry. Remember: if you’re buying tick preventatives for your pets, make sure you get one that’s meant for them. Don’t use dog-specific medicine on cats, or vice-versa, and make sure you get the correct weight range for your pet. Failure to do so can lead to serious complications for your pets. If you’re not sure what you should use or what’s safe for pets, contact your local veterinarian and ask. If your pet is bitten by a tick and displays any abnormal behaviors or symptoms of sickness get them to your vet as soon as you can and bring the tick with you. This has been your tick safety reminder post for the season. Reblogging for both human tick safety and the note that permethrin is really deadly to cats. important addition: when you come in from your outdoors activity, as you do your tick check put the clothes you were wearing directly into the wash (or, if you can’t wash them immediately for some reason, into a sealed plastic bag). Don’t sit on your furniture, don’t put the clothes in your hamper with your other things, and don’t delay the tick check. If a tick is on the removed clothing and the clothing isn’t cleaned, they’ll head for the nearest delicious mammal, whether that’s a person or a pet. After you quarantine your clothes and check your whole body (get a buddy or use a mirror for your back), it’s also wise to shower, although that’s by no means foolproof, and won’t have any effect if a tick has already latched on.  When you do your check, focus on the crevices of your body- on people and animals, ticks are most likely to latch on in warm and protected areas. This means that the groin, underarms, and scalp are a prime tick buffet, as well as under your bra and (as someone above said) under your waistband, or any other area where your clothing fits snugly. On pets, they’ll concentrate in the thicker fur at the neck, behind the ears, and in the ‘armpits’, but you’ll likely also find a few elsewhere on the body, especially on pets with fluffy coats.
Go To The Doctor: goddamnshinyrock:

why-animals-do-the-thing:

wolfforce58205:

zooophagous:

caong:


zooophagous:

theexoticvet:
Tick season is already in full swing and it’s going to be one of the worst years for ticks and lyme disease. Make sure your pets are on flea/tick/heartworm prevention and get your dogs vaccinated against lyme!

The sun is shining and the grass is green in minnesota today, what a lovely beginning to the impending TICKPOCALYPSE

Remember to cover yourselves appropriately if you’re going places with lots of wildlife! Ticks are dangerous for people as well as pets!


I’ve always heard to avoid long pants because ticks are easier to notice and remove when they try to climb a bare leg, but I think it’s a matter of preference tbh.
What you really need is to use a good repellant made for use in tick heavy areas. I’m not talking citronella essential oils, I mean a real repellant like Deep woods OFF that uses DDT. Spray it on your shoes and inside your shoes. You would be surprised how many ticks start in your socks and work their way up. I have had waaaaaay fewer guests on me after spraying my shoes as well as my legs.
If you want to get REALLY serious you can treat your hiking gear in permethrin, or get permethrin treated exercise gear. It’s a very potent, effective substance that kills ticks and other parasites on contact. It’s present in some flea and tick treatments for dogs. But the kicker is, permethrin is also VERY toxic to cats, so if you have a cat and you feel like you need permethrin treated gear, you MUST keep the gear where kitty can’t get it.

Friendly reminder to stock up on tick meds for your pets, and repellent for yourself! This year is going to be a BAD one.
ALWAYS check yourself after a hike, or any trip outside. Wear bright clothes so it’s easier to see ticks on you, and make sure to do a full-body check when you’re done. This includes checking your hair line and under waistbands or underwear (last tick I found on me was on my butt, and I had been hiking with pants and a long shirt on…trust me, check under your underwear).
Remove ticks as soon as you find them, and keep them in a small container or bag (heads completely squished) for identification purposes just in case your bite looks iffy later on. Clean the bite site thoroughly. Be on the look out for any flu-like symptoms, rashes, or red rings around the bite site like a bulls-eye (note: a slight red ring right afterward is normal, see below for what “bad” looks like). Usually if you get a tick off in the first 24 hours you’ll be ok, so long as you didn’t agitate the tick, but if you notice anything abnormal go to the doctor ASAP. If your tick was engorged when removed, be especially on the lookout. It’s always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to the nasty diseases ticks can carry.
Remember: if you’re buying tick preventatives for your pets, make sure you get one that’s meant for them. Don’t use dog-specific medicine on cats, or vice-versa, and make sure you get the correct weight range for your pet. Failure to do so can lead to serious complications for your pets. If you’re not sure what you should use or what’s safe for pets, contact your local veterinarian and ask. If your pet is bitten by a tick and displays any abnormal behaviors or symptoms of sickness get them to your vet as soon as you can and bring the tick with you.
This has been your tick safety reminder post for the season.

Reblogging for both human tick safety and the note that permethrin is really deadly to cats.

important addition: when you come in from your outdoors activity, as you do your tick check put the clothes you were wearing directly into the wash (or, if you can’t wash them immediately for some reason, into a sealed plastic bag). Don’t sit on your furniture, don’t put the clothes in your hamper with your other things, and don’t delay the tick check. If a tick is on the removed clothing and the clothing isn’t cleaned, they’ll head for the nearest delicious mammal, whether that’s a person or a pet. After you quarantine your clothes and check your whole body (get a buddy or use a mirror for your back), it’s also wise to shower, although that’s by no means foolproof, and won’t have any effect if a tick has already latched on. 
When you do your check, focus on the crevices of your body- on people and animals, ticks are most likely to latch on in warm and protected areas. This means that the groin, underarms, and scalp are a prime tick buffet, as well as under your bra and (as someone above said) under your waistband, or any other area where your clothing fits snugly. On pets, they’ll concentrate in the thicker fur at the neck, behind the ears, and in the ‘armpits’, but you’ll likely also find a few elsewhere on the body, especially on pets with fluffy coats.

goddamnshinyrock: why-animals-do-the-thing: wolfforce58205: zooophagous: caong: zooophagous: theexoticvet: Tick season is already...

Go To The Doctor: EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK SICK DAYS We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work PERSONAL DAYS Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday &Sunday LUNCH BREAK Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Sim Fast DRESS CODE It is advised you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to leam to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise BEREAVEMENT LEAVE There is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late aftermoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early RESTROOM USE Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category Thank you for your loyaity to our great company We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Go To The Doctor: EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK
 SICK DAYS
 We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.If you are able to go to
 the doctor, you are able to come to work
 PERSONAL DAYS
 Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday &Sunday
 LUNCH BREAK
 Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look
 healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain
 their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
 needed to drink a Sim Fast
 DRESS CODE
 It is advised you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350
 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially
 and therefore you do not need a raise.
 If you dress poorly, you need to leam to manage your money better, so that you may buy
 nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise
 If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need
 a raise
 BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
 There is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends,
 relatives, or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the
 arrangements In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should
 be scheduled in the late aftermoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch
 hour and subsequently leave one hour early
 RESTROOM USE
 Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit
 in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract
 the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will
 be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category
 Thank you for your loyaity to our great company
 We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Go To The Doctor: Crayola e With Preferred by Teachers ar E CRAYONS 24 homestuckpatternreference: iamthesylveon: f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s: gryphynshadow: silencingthedrums: zeaky: sliceofbri: DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS  AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL. SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE. I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK. There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them. The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi) You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted. Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint. Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color. BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible. Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.) so what you’re saying is i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns and have grey body paint i think i know where that’s going i think we all know where that’s going
Go To The Doctor: Crayola
 e With
 Preferred by Teachers
 ar E
 CRAYONS
 24
homestuckpatternreference:

iamthesylveon:

f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s:

gryphynshadow:

silencingthedrums:

zeaky:

sliceofbri:

DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET

SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS

GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS 

AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.

I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO

WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS

DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK.

There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them.

The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi)
You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted.
Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint.
Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color.
BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible.
Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.)

so what you’re saying is
i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns
and have grey body paint

i think i know where that’s going

i think we all know where that’s going

homestuckpatternreference: iamthesylveon: f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s: gryphynshadow: silencingthedrums: zeaky: sliceofbri: DID YOU MOTH...

Go To The Doctor: Crayola e With Preferred by Teachers ar E CRAYONS 24 homestuckpatternreference: iamthesylveon: f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s: gryphynshadow: silencingthedrums: zeaky: sliceofbri: DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS  AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL. SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE. I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK. There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them. The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi) You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted. Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint. Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color. BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible. Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.) so what you’re saying is i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns and have grey body paint i think i know where that’s going i think we all know where that’s going
Go To The Doctor: Crayola
 e With
 Preferred by Teachers
 ar E
 CRAYONS
 24
homestuckpatternreference:

iamthesylveon:

f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s:

gryphynshadow:

silencingthedrums:

zeaky:

sliceofbri:

DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET

SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS

GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS 

AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.

I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO

WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS

DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK.

There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them.

The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi)
You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted.
Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint.
Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color.
BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible.
Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.)

so what you’re saying is
i could buy a fuckton of grey crayns
and have grey body paint

i think i know where that’s going

i think we all know where that’s going

homestuckpatternreference: iamthesylveon: f-e-f-e-t-a-c-a-k-e-s: gryphynshadow: silencingthedrums: zeaky: sliceofbri: DID YOU MOTH...

Go To The Doctor: I'm a 21 year-old male. I was out running my 2 miles. Headphones in, music playing, minding my own business. I round the corner at about the halfway point of the run and I see this big black duck looking at me. As I get closer, think to myself, "Man, that's a brave duck, why isn't he running away?" I keep running and realize the duck not only isn't afraid of me or running away, he's running right at me. So I stop and squat down, thinking maybe he was hurt and needed help or something. This bitch ass giant fucking black duck takes a huge bite out of my leg. Like, not playing, drew blood kinda bite I'm thinking to myself, "What the fuck?" So I'm like, maybe he's just an asshole and I keep running think he will leave me alone. I start running again and the faster Irun, the faster he chases me. I start sprinting and he is literally flying behind me attacking me. I'm thinking, "Ive got enough fucking problems in my life as it is man, I dont need this shit so I stop running again kinda like in disbelief trying to figure out what to do. In all my years of being a person, Ive never trained for this This little punk ass duck is chomping on my ankles and it's actually really hurting. He starts grabbing my shoelaces and untying them as I'm trying to run backwards away from him. Weve covered a quarter mile at this point. I try picking him up and throwing him back away from me every time he lunges for blood. I'm thinking, "How the fuck am I gonna explain this if I have to go to the doctor for a duck attack? I'm a grown ass man. This isbullshit." I try running again and he keeps flying after me. I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do at this point. I'm manage to get my phone and start texting my girlfriend, asking her what to do. Am I really gonna have to kill this duck to get away? Like, I don't want to, but I might have to actually fucking kick this duck or grab it by the neck? Seriously?" We have covered 3/4 of a mile at this point. He bites me again and I drop my phone. I pick it up quickly. Who do I call? I've got fucking scars and cuts all over me. While I'm debating whether stand-your-ground laws apply to ducks, I hear a noise; Someone else was outside walking on an adjacent street and came to see what all of the commotion was This was a big mistake. The duck smelled blood, and gave up attacking me to chase after my savior. I saw my window and booked it home running the last half mile in 2:50 flat. I feel kinda bad, that duck has probably killed that dude by now. The last saw of him was the look I took over my shoulder running away as he made the same mistake I did, looking down to see if the duck was hurt worth the read
Go To The Doctor: I'm a 21 year-old male. I was out running my 2 miles. Headphones in, music playing, minding my own
 business. I round the corner at about the halfway point of the run and I see this big black duck looking at
 me. As I get closer, think to myself, "Man, that's a brave duck, why isn't he running away?" I keep running
 and realize the duck not only isn't afraid of me or running away, he's running right at me. So I stop and
 squat down, thinking maybe he was hurt and needed help or something. This bitch ass giant fucking black
 duck takes a huge bite out of my leg. Like, not playing, drew blood kinda bite
 I'm thinking to myself, "What the fuck?" So I'm like, maybe he's just an asshole and I keep running think he
 will leave me alone. I start running again and the faster Irun, the faster he chases me. I start sprinting and
 he is literally flying behind me attacking me. I'm thinking, "Ive got enough fucking problems in my life as it is
 man, I dont need this shit so I stop running again kinda like in disbelief trying to figure out what to do. In all
 my years of being a person, Ive never trained for this
 This little punk ass duck is chomping on my ankles and it's actually really hurting. He starts grabbing my
 shoelaces and untying them as I'm trying to run backwards away from him. Weve covered a quarter mile at
 this point. I try picking him up and throwing him back away from me every time he lunges for blood. I'm
 thinking, "How the fuck am I gonna explain this if I have to go to the doctor for a duck attack? I'm a grown
 ass man. This isbullshit."
 I try running again and he keeps flying after me. I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do at this point. I'm
 manage to get my phone and start texting my girlfriend, asking her what to do. Am I really gonna have to
 kill this duck to get away? Like, I don't want to, but I might have to actually fucking kick this duck or grab it
 by the neck? Seriously?" We have covered 3/4 of a mile at this point. He bites me again and I drop my
 phone. I pick it up quickly. Who do I call? I've got fucking scars and cuts all over me. While I'm debating
 whether stand-your-ground laws apply to ducks, I hear a noise; Someone else was outside walking on an
 adjacent street and came to see what all of the commotion was
 This was a big mistake. The duck smelled blood, and gave up attacking me to chase after my savior. I saw
 my window and booked it home running the last half mile in 2:50 flat. I feel kinda bad, that duck has
 probably killed that dude by now. The last saw of him was the look I took over my shoulder running away
 as he made the same mistake I did, looking down to see if the duck was hurt
worth the read

worth the read