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Aerosmith, Big Sean, and Drunk: Don't talk to me or my son ever again DrSmashlove U ever start dating someone and they listen to your genre of music and u all excited about it but then they like the wrong shit and now u annoyed u ever brought up music in the first place πŸ€”. Like if I'm talking to a older grown and sexy Caucasian woman and she got a tribal tramp stamp and she like Nickelback I'm not gonna hold it against her pretty ass Bruh. The horrendous rock - tattoo taste is indicative of a dark past and I happen to like ladies with a dark past - just like pets who came from bad circumstances, I find women with more issues than Time Magazine easier to love 😍. (Side note: this type of woman is brutally honest, which I also love. Like I'm all "ayeee...u ever test positive for anything?" And she just like "yeah, gonorrhea, once, in 2007 😣. I went back stage at an Aerosmith show, got drunk, and banged Steven Tyler smh. Nothing some antibiotics couldn't fix ☺️." And I'm just like, to myself "WOW!!!! Do u also dumpster dive and play roulette with the first needle u see by jamming it in your thigh just to see what happen?! You bold AF, grown and sexy Caucasian woman!" πŸ˜‚) Nah but u ain't gon discuss music with this chick. It's safe to say we gon spend the night talmbout Trump. But see sometimes the convo is more difficult. I'm like aye what u listen to, she like "rap ☺️" and I'm like "oh word? πŸ˜€" And she like "Drake, Gucci, Future, 21" and I'm like "take me to flavor town mama 😍" and then she all "G Eazy, Big Sean" and I'm all "this date was going great. It really was. I know in one week you gon text me like 'WELL I THOUGHT THE DATE WENT WELL SORRY I'M NOT UP TO YOUR STANDARD'" and imma have to reply and apologize but deep down I ain't sorry at all. If u a lil hipster who love Pinegrove and Weyes Blood we might could build a future. But if I ever have to come downstairs to enjoy pancakes with u and our 11 chirren and I hear "Last night took a L, but tonight I bounce back!", I might just say I'm going to Whole Foods for orange juice, get in the minivan, drive away, and never come back. Don't worry baby. Kids will be fine. I'll come back for the Princeton graduations, and NFL draft day 😘 GoodbyeForeverMyLove πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Aerosmith, Big Sean, and Drunk: Don't talk to me or my son ever again
 DrSmashlove
U ever start dating someone and they listen to your genre of music and u all excited about it but then they like the wrong shit and now u annoyed u ever brought up music in the first place πŸ€”. Like if I'm talking to a older grown and sexy Caucasian woman and she got a tribal tramp stamp and she like Nickelback I'm not gonna hold it against her pretty ass Bruh. The horrendous rock - tattoo taste is indicative of a dark past and I happen to like ladies with a dark past - just like pets who came from bad circumstances, I find women with more issues than Time Magazine easier to love 😍. (Side note: this type of woman is brutally honest, which I also love. Like I'm all "ayeee...u ever test positive for anything?" And she just like "yeah, gonorrhea, once, in 2007 😣. I went back stage at an Aerosmith show, got drunk, and banged Steven Tyler smh. Nothing some antibiotics couldn't fix ☺️." And I'm just like, to myself "WOW!!!! Do u also dumpster dive and play roulette with the first needle u see by jamming it in your thigh just to see what happen?! You bold AF, grown and sexy Caucasian woman!" πŸ˜‚) Nah but u ain't gon discuss music with this chick. It's safe to say we gon spend the night talmbout Trump. But see sometimes the convo is more difficult. I'm like aye what u listen to, she like "rap ☺️" and I'm like "oh word? πŸ˜€" And she like "Drake, Gucci, Future, 21" and I'm like "take me to flavor town mama 😍" and then she all "G Eazy, Big Sean" and I'm all "this date was going great. It really was. I know in one week you gon text me like 'WELL I THOUGHT THE DATE WENT WELL SORRY I'M NOT UP TO YOUR STANDARD'" and imma have to reply and apologize but deep down I ain't sorry at all. If u a lil hipster who love Pinegrove and Weyes Blood we might could build a future. But if I ever have to come downstairs to enjoy pancakes with u and our 11 chirren and I hear "Last night took a L, but tonight I bounce back!", I might just say I'm going to Whole Foods for orange juice, get in the minivan, drive away, and never come back. Don't worry baby. Kids will be fine. I'll come back for the Princeton graduations, and NFL draft day 😘 GoodbyeForeverMyLove πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

U ever start dating someone and they listen to your genre of music and u all excited about it but then they like the wrong shit and now u an...

Church, Come Over, and Dumb: When u told her you were STD free so she'd let you hit it raw I woke up this morning burning because I made the fatal mistake of falling in some thot coochie. Last night was dumb lit. A nigga was getting the twerk of a lifetime. I'm talking about a twerk where the bioty cheeks clapping so hard it sounds like gun shots. Real shit Im suffering from ptsd from that shit. I'm talking cheeks clapping with the force to make the booty juice splash in your face like a Steph curry 3. You gotta tell the booty say it don't spray it. Anyway this girl feeling the kid and wanted to proceed activities back to my crib. My momma home and she don't play that shit. My own niggas can't come over. My mom don't care either my homie can be behind me while I'm standing at the bedroom door and she be like who gone feed him? Not me. That shit be so embarrassing BRUH. Sweatogawd. I couldn't get them cheeks at the party so we decide to go to her crib. Fast forward we at her house and she got me sneaking in this bitch like I'm in metal gear. We get to her room and that's where all the magic proceeds. Before I crush she ask if I had protection? I knew I had the lord on my side cause I went to church last week. I had to be safe tho. I pulled out one of them tiny baggies that I keep the kush in. (thank god for the weed man) I put it on. My dick head look like he was being interrogated with that tiny baggies over his head. We safe tho so I clapped them bunyons for about 23.8364 strokes. Pulling out is overrated so I passed out right after. I woke up the next morning and I had to pee. Literally when the pee hit the seat the began toilet sizzling. A little got on my hand and I watched my pinky shrivel up. How am I suppose to pinky promise. The bathroom door lock when I hear aye who the fuck up in hea. Shorty had brothers and ain't tell me. Oh lord Ima get my ass kicked. No windows or nothing. I open the door hooping not to die when 3 midgets stood there. Her brothers look like a wild dugtrio from PokΓ©mon. I'm like little nigga move. That's when the 3 of them jumped me. I got my ass beat by some 4th graders. I'm embarrassed to say this. Last night took a L but tonight I bounce back pray for me fam. πŸ™πŸΏ
Church, Come Over, and Dumb: When u told her you were STD free so
 she'd let you hit it raw
I woke up this morning burning because I made the fatal mistake of falling in some thot coochie. Last night was dumb lit. A nigga was getting the twerk of a lifetime. I'm talking about a twerk where the bioty cheeks clapping so hard it sounds like gun shots. Real shit Im suffering from ptsd from that shit. I'm talking cheeks clapping with the force to make the booty juice splash in your face like a Steph curry 3. You gotta tell the booty say it don't spray it. Anyway this girl feeling the kid and wanted to proceed activities back to my crib. My momma home and she don't play that shit. My own niggas can't come over. My mom don't care either my homie can be behind me while I'm standing at the bedroom door and she be like who gone feed him? Not me. That shit be so embarrassing BRUH. Sweatogawd. I couldn't get them cheeks at the party so we decide to go to her crib. Fast forward we at her house and she got me sneaking in this bitch like I'm in metal gear. We get to her room and that's where all the magic proceeds. Before I crush she ask if I had protection? I knew I had the lord on my side cause I went to church last week. I had to be safe tho. I pulled out one of them tiny baggies that I keep the kush in. (thank god for the weed man) I put it on. My dick head look like he was being interrogated with that tiny baggies over his head. We safe tho so I clapped them bunyons for about 23.8364 strokes. Pulling out is overrated so I passed out right after. I woke up the next morning and I had to pee. Literally when the pee hit the seat the began toilet sizzling. A little got on my hand and I watched my pinky shrivel up. How am I suppose to pinky promise. The bathroom door lock when I hear aye who the fuck up in hea. Shorty had brothers and ain't tell me. Oh lord Ima get my ass kicked. No windows or nothing. I open the door hooping not to die when 3 midgets stood there. Her brothers look like a wild dugtrio from PokΓ©mon. I'm like little nigga move. That's when the 3 of them jumped me. I got my ass beat by some 4th graders. I'm embarrassed to say this. Last night took a L but tonight I bounce back pray for me fam. πŸ™πŸΏ

I woke up this morning burning because I made the fatal mistake of falling in some thot coochie. Last night was dumb lit. A nigga was gettin...