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Ass, Be Like, and Grandma: I volunteer at a shelter. Today a 7 year resident, Skip, was adopted. He's pretty happy about it Pic: Reddit u/boobsnbabies @DrSmashlove Iโ€™ve heard recent reports from three of my lil homegirls that a man they are dealing with romantically has texted her asking her to send a UBER to pick him up and bring her to his crib. Lemme do a lil historical recap. Our forefathers would remove they jacket and lay it upon a puddle so that they girl would not have to wet her feet bruv. He would give a woman his jacket when she was cold. Hold doors open. Leave little love notes hidden around her spot. Come meet her parents, and he cut his hair and shine his shoes and pick up flowers for her mama beforehand. U feel me? Chivalry. Chivalrous ass Prince Charmings, bruv. Fast forward to 2017: โ€œsend me an UBER if u want 2 c daddyโ€. Send a UBER to pick up daddy, bruv? U the daddy but u need financial assistance to transport to her crib? U might have been daddy at one time but even if the pipe game super on point if she sending UBERโ€™s u da baby and she da mommy now. Look up โ€œmanโ€ in Webster Thesaurus and the antonyms be like โ€œboy; lad; he who requesteth transport in an UBER vehicle from a woman with whomst he hath engaged in romantic relationsโ€ - this is Webster bruv the Man smart! He predicted this shit! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Anyway bruv I ainโ€™t even mad. Not even remotely mad. Instead: thankful. Yโ€™all making all the men who display even a modicum of chivalry look like cot damn Romeos out dis bish. We love yโ€™all. Yโ€™all special. Yโ€™all loyal. Yโ€™all gon find a woman who gon take care of u and be the mommy u need. Yโ€™all gotta be good to her tho! She might cut off yo allowance. Take away yo iPad so u canโ€™t watch Jake Paul YouTube videos no more. U in line with her at Panera like โ€œI WANT CHOCOLATE CHIP BAGEL!!โ€ And she like โ€œBAD BOYS DONโ€™T GET CHOCOLATE CHIP BAGELS TIMMY.โ€ And u just like โ€œI AT LEAST WANT A GOGURT! GOGURT MOMMY GOGURT!โ€ And she gotta take u back to the minivan and spank u. Yo great grandpa took yo great grandma to the sock hop and the drive in movies, treating her to burgers and shakes, now u being disciplined by yo woman like a disobedient child Bruv. My how things change. All because U asked for a UBER. Yโ€™all be safe out there! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Ass, Be Like, and Grandma: I volunteer at a shelter. Today a 7 year
 resident, Skip, was adopted. He's pretty
 happy about it
 Pic: Reddit u/boobsnbabies
 @DrSmashlove
Iโ€™ve heard recent reports from three of my lil homegirls that a man they are dealing with romantically has texted her asking her to send a UBER to pick him up and bring her to his crib. Lemme do a lil historical recap. Our forefathers would remove they jacket and lay it upon a puddle so that they girl would not have to wet her feet bruv. He would give a woman his jacket when she was cold. Hold doors open. Leave little love notes hidden around her spot. Come meet her parents, and he cut his hair and shine his shoes and pick up flowers for her mama beforehand. U feel me? Chivalry. Chivalrous ass Prince Charmings, bruv. Fast forward to 2017: โ€œsend me an UBER if u want 2 c daddyโ€. Send a UBER to pick up daddy, bruv? U the daddy but u need financial assistance to transport to her crib? U might have been daddy at one time but even if the pipe game super on point if she sending UBERโ€™s u da baby and she da mommy now. Look up โ€œmanโ€ in Webster Thesaurus and the antonyms be like โ€œboy; lad; he who requesteth transport in an UBER vehicle from a woman with whomst he hath engaged in romantic relationsโ€ - this is Webster bruv the Man smart! He predicted this shit! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Anyway bruv I ainโ€™t even mad. Not even remotely mad. Instead: thankful. Yโ€™all making all the men who display even a modicum of chivalry look like cot damn Romeos out dis bish. We love yโ€™all. Yโ€™all special. Yโ€™all loyal. Yโ€™all gon find a woman who gon take care of u and be the mommy u need. Yโ€™all gotta be good to her tho! She might cut off yo allowance. Take away yo iPad so u canโ€™t watch Jake Paul YouTube videos no more. U in line with her at Panera like โ€œI WANT CHOCOLATE CHIP BAGEL!!โ€ And she like โ€œBAD BOYS DONโ€™T GET CHOCOLATE CHIP BAGELS TIMMY.โ€ And u just like โ€œI AT LEAST WANT A GOGURT! GOGURT MOMMY GOGURT!โ€ And she gotta take u back to the minivan and spank u. Yo great grandpa took yo great grandma to the sock hop and the drive in movies, treating her to burgers and shakes, now u being disciplined by yo woman like a disobedient child Bruv. My how things change. All because U asked for a UBER. Yโ€™all be safe out there! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Iโ€™ve heard recent reports from three of my lil homegirls that a man they are dealing with romantically has texted her asking her to send a U...

Ass, Beautiful, and Bitch: When she takes you back to her place and you notice some red flags but you play it off cuz you're trying to get your dick wet teel very welcome here. When you trying to catch some soul snatching, toes curling, meat coiling. Metal twisting, ducks flapping, cows chirping, ball jiggling , nipples burning head nothing can come in the way. If I had a choice between answering grandpa Dales life alert call or that 2am you up text, Ima be excavating that pussy like the Miranda trench. I nut quick so Iโ€™ll be back in time to assist with his life alert. I hate sex. No honestly itโ€™s complicated. You gotta find a apropoate time, place, what if sheโ€™s on her period that week? I donโ€™t bang with that blood shit. Not to mention feelings can be caught like receivers, stds transferred like a bus ride, and hope crushed like a cervix. When them beautiful ebony cheeks spread and that feeling of paradise cause her walls to talk. Color coordinated and all that was a pipe dream. When there was chocolate mud cake waiting for me. Me, being the genuine guy that I am. Notified this girl there was shit in her ass. Bitch dead giggled and said stop lien. This probably the worse times for me to play 2 truths and a lie. What do you do when she doesnโ€™t believe you? What you think I did? I love finger painting. When life gives you lemon make lemonade.
Ass, Beautiful, and Bitch: When she takes you back to her
 place and you notice some red
 flags but you play it off cuz you're
 trying to get your dick wet
 teel very welcome here.
When you trying to catch some soul snatching, toes curling, meat coiling. Metal twisting, ducks flapping, cows chirping, ball jiggling , nipples burning head nothing can come in the way. If I had a choice between answering grandpa Dales life alert call or that 2am you up text, Ima be excavating that pussy like the Miranda trench. I nut quick so Iโ€™ll be back in time to assist with his life alert. I hate sex. No honestly itโ€™s complicated. You gotta find a apropoate time, place, what if sheโ€™s on her period that week? I donโ€™t bang with that blood shit. Not to mention feelings can be caught like receivers, stds transferred like a bus ride, and hope crushed like a cervix. When them beautiful ebony cheeks spread and that feeling of paradise cause her walls to talk. Color coordinated and all that was a pipe dream. When there was chocolate mud cake waiting for me. Me, being the genuine guy that I am. Notified this girl there was shit in her ass. Bitch dead giggled and said stop lien. This probably the worse times for me to play 2 truths and a lie. What do you do when she doesnโ€™t believe you? What you think I did? I love finger painting. When life gives you lemon make lemonade.

When you trying to catch some soul snatching, toes curling, meat coiling. Metal twisting, ducks flapping, cows chirping, ball jiggling , nip...