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Beyonce, Bitch, and Cheating: What girls really do when they go to the bathroom together Birds of a feather gone flock together. Every dude knows how annoying it is when you drop game on a girl but her friend be the Mutumbo of cock blocking. Girls move as a unit when it comes to their friends. Especially when going to the bathroom. Wanna bet? Take two female friends and put them on opposite ends of the world. Now let one of them go to the bathroom, when the other friend accepts her distress signal she goes as well. God be making people like that. I can’t have homies who girls have they passcode. This is like having the codes to launch nuclear missels. It’s unsafe. My boy Abel was the light skin of light skins so you know his girl wore the pants in the relationship. Me and him on double dates with our ladies. Him and his girl stay fighting. β€œIf you not cheating let me see them text messages”. Boy silent like a mouse. She bonk gang that boy phone and went to the bathroom. Every girl in the restaurant stood up. I reached for my girl, another girl comes up to hold me back. This was a scene straight from iRobot. Every dude watched as all the girls crammed into the bathroom like a middle school fight. There was no one in the kitchen now. One dude went to knock on the door to check on his girl, there was no answer. He tried to poke his head in and caught a hit that sent him flying through the store front. That nigga dead now. I look and it’s worse than what I expected. The single friend is behind all the. It’s always the ones built like Ursula that be Bitter and bitchy. She got all our girls in some kind of bitter bitch spell. Girls be the FBI agents we keep joking about. Within minutes they were able to find every text, convo, phone call and transaction made. Had all that on big screen like we at a football game. We went to trial in a McDonald’s. There had to be bias during the trial. Every girl there listened to BeyoncΓ©. We stood no chance. The jury found my nigga Abel guilty on 10 counts of cheating, polygamy, lying under oath, no ambition and Good dick. Whole squad guilty by association. That boy Abel serving 10 years in fuckboy purgatory. The system is constantly coming for black men. We all single now. Pray for Abel. He dropped the ball and hopefull
Beyonce, Bitch, and Cheating: What girls really do when they go to
 the bathroom together
Birds of a feather gone flock together. Every dude knows how annoying it is when you drop game on a girl but her friend be the Mutumbo of cock blocking. Girls move as a unit when it comes to their friends. Especially when going to the bathroom. Wanna bet? Take two female friends and put them on opposite ends of the world. Now let one of them go to the bathroom, when the other friend accepts her distress signal she goes as well. God be making people like that. I can’t have homies who girls have they passcode. This is like having the codes to launch nuclear missels. It’s unsafe. My boy Abel was the light skin of light skins so you know his girl wore the pants in the relationship. Me and him on double dates with our ladies. Him and his girl stay fighting. β€œIf you not cheating let me see them text messages”. Boy silent like a mouse. She bonk gang that boy phone and went to the bathroom. Every girl in the restaurant stood up. I reached for my girl, another girl comes up to hold me back. This was a scene straight from iRobot. Every dude watched as all the girls crammed into the bathroom like a middle school fight. There was no one in the kitchen now. One dude went to knock on the door to check on his girl, there was no answer. He tried to poke his head in and caught a hit that sent him flying through the store front. That nigga dead now. I look and it’s worse than what I expected. The single friend is behind all the. It’s always the ones built like Ursula that be Bitter and bitchy. She got all our girls in some kind of bitter bitch spell. Girls be the FBI agents we keep joking about. Within minutes they were able to find every text, convo, phone call and transaction made. Had all that on big screen like we at a football game. We went to trial in a McDonald’s. There had to be bias during the trial. Every girl there listened to BeyoncΓ©. We stood no chance. The jury found my nigga Abel guilty on 10 counts of cheating, polygamy, lying under oath, no ambition and Good dick. Whole squad guilty by association. That boy Abel serving 10 years in fuckboy purgatory. The system is constantly coming for black men. We all single now. Pray for Abel. He dropped the ball and hopefull

Birds of a feather gone flock together. Every dude knows how annoying it is when you drop game on a girl but her friend be the Mutumbo of co...

Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights Always willing to make a rain Laughs at medioore jokers . I play s different instrument . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po Very optimistic when hungover Friendship bracelets Can drive a stick shift I got bars Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc. * Downsides Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse Will spook the customers with I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them) .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil Contributions Inventor Sauce Boss . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car. For a spill and worry free drive home . Part the Red Sea .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo Moses Tampons Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair mon in a floor length jean skirt Coined the term *Escobars When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax .Not recommended Education Bradford Elementary School Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee Mullen High School 2008-2012 . Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012 . Dia though Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook of Northem Colorado 2012-201 Survived Greeley Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting School blew away in Hurricane Irma School cut major Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne ver know what's going on there They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time . Laboniously diverse in that bitch . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever y day - They pretty much can't fire me thered e Intenship in Haiti 2016 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever Spent about a year total in Hait I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono Harley Davidson-St. Thomas . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p eople I'm very impressive at folding shirts Reason(s) I Dipped: I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a d I felt really guilty about ito They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co sort of Local Color Clothing Boutique More folding, but the clothes were more expensive) Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work
Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights
 Always willing to make a rain
 Laughs at medioore jokers
 . I play s different instrument
 . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po
 Very optimistic when hungover
 Friendship bracelets
 Can drive a stick shift
 I got bars
 Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc.
 *
 Downsides
 Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse
 Will spook the customers with
 I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall
 Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them)
 .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy
 . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil
 Contributions
 Inventor
 Sauce Boss
 . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car.
 For a spill and worry free drive home
 . Part the Red Sea
 .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo
 Moses Tampons
 Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair
 mon in a floor length jean skirt
 Coined the term *Escobars
 When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax
 .Not recommended
 Education
 Bradford Elementary School
 Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee
 Mullen High School 2008-2012
 .
 Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012
 .

 Dia
 though
 Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook
 of Northem Colorado 2012-201
 Survived Greeley
 Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded
 University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017
 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting
 School blew away in Hurricane Irma
 School cut major
 Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From
 Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present
 I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne
 ver know what's going on there
 They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time
 . Laboniously diverse in that bitch
 . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever
 y day
 - They pretty much can't fire me thered
 e Intenship in Haiti 2016
 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to
 me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever
 Spent about a year total in Hait
 I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono
 Harley Davidson-St. Thomas
 . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p
 eople
 I'm very impressive at folding shirts
 Reason(s) I Dipped:
 I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas
 I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a
 d I felt really guilty about ito
 They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co
 sort of
 Local Color Clothing Boutique
 More folding, but the clothes were more expensive)
Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work

Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work

Antidote, God, and Love: <p><a href="http://phantomemes.tumblr.com/post/166125434642/rp-sentence-starters-taken-from-rupi-kaurs-work" class="tumblr_blog">phantomemes</a>:</p><blockquote> <blockquote><p><small>rp sentence starters taken from <b>rupi kaur’s</b> work , <b>the sun and her flowers</b>.</small></p></blockquote> <p><small>β€œ my heart cracked inside my body. ”<br/>β€œ no one is coming in and no one is getting out. ”<br/>β€œ i deserved someone who was willing to stay.”<br/>β€œ a dozen different thoughts tear through me each second. ”<br/>β€œ i envy the winds who still witness you. ”<br/>β€œ i could be anything in the world. ”<br/>β€œ but i wanted to be his. ”<br/>β€œ what does love look like? ”<br/>β€œ i realized how naive i have been. ”<br/>β€œ i’m about to get up and walk right out the door. ”<br/>β€œ you cannot walk in and out of me like a revolving door. ”<br/>β€œ you took the sun with you when you left. ”<br/>β€œ when you plunged the knife into me you also began bleeding. ”<br/>β€œ you will suffer the way you make me suffer. ”<br/>β€œ i think my body knew you would not stay. ”<br/>β€œ your absence is a missing limb. ”<br/>β€œ it must be hard to live with what ifs. ”<br/>β€œ how did we live through it and how are we still living? ”<br/>β€œ i can tell when you’re lying. ”<br/>β€œ the person i fell in love with was a mirage. ”<br/>β€œ i notice everything i do not have. ”<br/>β€œ i hardened under the last loss. ”<br/>β€œ all i dream is to soften. ”<br/>β€œ i barely feel like living. ”<br/>β€œ why are you so unkind to me? ”<br/>β€œ you are waiting for someone who is not coming back. ”<br/>β€œ i was the warmest place you knew. ”<br/>β€œ you turned me cold. ”<br/>β€œ the irony of loneliness is we all feel it at the same time. ”<br/>β€œ you must see no worth in yourself. ”<br/>β€œ worth is not something we transfer. ”<br/>β€œ growth is a process. ”<br/>β€œ your actions are not my responsibility. ”<br/>β€œ it’s okay to let others help pick up the pieces. ”<br/>β€œ i do not weep because i’m unhappy. ”<br/>β€œ i have everything and yet i am unhappy. ”<br/>β€œ nothing in this world was promised or belonged to you. ”<br/>β€œ all you own is yourself. ”<br/>β€œ you have already rotted. ”<br/>β€œ there is nothing left for me to do. ”<br/>β€œ what if nothing wants me because i do not want me? ”<br/>β€œ i am both the poison and the antidote. ”<br/>β€œ i have survived far too much to go quietly. ”<br/>β€œ my death will be grand. ”<br/>β€œ all i’ve ever known is pain. ”<br/>β€œ never feel guilty for starting again. ”<br/>β€œ i am the ghost of ghosts. ”<br/>β€œ there is god in you. ”  </small><br/></p> </blockquote>
Antidote, God, and Love: <p><a href="http://phantomemes.tumblr.com/post/166125434642/rp-sentence-starters-taken-from-rupi-kaurs-work" class="tumblr_blog">phantomemes</a>:</p><blockquote>
<blockquote><p><small>rp sentence starters taken from <b>rupi kaur’s</b> work , <b>the sun and her flowers</b>.</small></p></blockquote>
<p><small>β€œ my heart cracked inside my body. ”<br/>β€œ no one is coming in and no one is getting out. ”<br/>β€œ i deserved someone who was willing to stay.”<br/>β€œ a dozen different thoughts tear through me each second. ”<br/>β€œ i envy the winds who still witness you. ”<br/>β€œ i could be anything in the world. ”<br/>β€œ but i wanted to be his. ”<br/>β€œ what does love look like? ”<br/>β€œ i realized how naive i have been. ”<br/>β€œ i’m about to get up and walk right out the door. ”<br/>β€œ you cannot walk in and out of me like a revolving door. ”<br/>β€œ you took the sun with you when you left. ”<br/>β€œ when you plunged the knife into me you also began bleeding. ”<br/>β€œ you will suffer the way you make me suffer. ”<br/>β€œ i think my body knew you would not stay. ”<br/>β€œ your absence is a missing limb. ”<br/>β€œ it must be hard to live with what ifs. ”<br/>β€œ how did we live through it and how are we still living? ”<br/>β€œ i can tell when you’re lying. ”<br/>β€œ the person i fell in love with was a mirage. ”<br/>β€œ i notice everything i do not have. ”<br/>β€œ i hardened under the last loss. ”<br/>β€œ all i dream is to soften. ”<br/>β€œ i barely feel like living. ”<br/>β€œ why are you so unkind to me? ”<br/>β€œ you are waiting for someone who is not coming back. ”<br/>β€œ i was the warmest place you knew. ”<br/>β€œ you turned me cold. ”<br/>β€œ the irony of loneliness is we all feel it at the same time. ”<br/>β€œ you must see no worth in yourself. ”<br/>β€œ worth is not something we transfer. ”<br/>β€œ growth is a process. ”<br/>β€œ your actions are not my responsibility. ”<br/>β€œ it’s okay to let others help pick up the pieces. ”<br/>β€œ i do not weep because i’m unhappy. ”<br/>β€œ i have everything and yet i am unhappy. ”<br/>β€œ nothing in this world was promised or belonged to you. ”<br/>β€œ all you own is yourself. ”<br/>β€œ you have already rotted. ”<br/>β€œ there is nothing left for me to do. ”<br/>β€œ what if nothing wants me because i do not want me? ”<br/>β€œ i am both the poison and the antidote. ”<br/>β€œ i have survived far too much to go quietly. ”<br/>β€œ my death will be grand. ”<br/>β€œ all i’ve ever known is pain. ”<br/>β€œ never feel guilty for starting again. ”<br/>β€œ i am the ghost of ghosts. ”<br/>β€œ there is god in you. ”  </small><br/></p>
</blockquote>

<p><a href="http://phantomemes.tumblr.com/post/166125434642/rp-sentence-starters-taken-from-rupi-kaurs-work" class="tumblr_blog">phantomemes...