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hand off: thejorie: xilast-zurvifferman: thejorie: jackbecq: thejorie: 19leahjade96: thejorie: madamekagamine: thejorie: gccgrimm: thejorie: gucciballs: thejorie: peble: thejorie: My three girlfriends.And yes, they smoke weed. do they smoke weed? Yes, actually. you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette? It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,) They don’t look like they smoke weed. Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad. Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle. I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING  Well that escalated quickly…… What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body* haha oh my god who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes. love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”. and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”. “the goo pile that is now your body” i’m dying over here, jesus please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun. *shoots you dead* Heh, idiot…*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.* this dude playin omg  Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
 hand off: thejorie:

xilast-zurvifferman:

thejorie:

jackbecq:

thejorie:

19leahjade96:

thejorie:

madamekagamine:

thejorie:

gccgrimm:

thejorie:

gucciballs:

thejorie:

peble:

thejorie:

My three girlfriends.And yes, they smoke weed.

do they smoke weed?

Yes, actually.

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette? 

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

Well that escalated quickly……

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

haha oh my god

who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.

love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.

and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.

“the goo pile that is now your body”

i’m dying over here, jesus

please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot…*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

this dude playin omg 

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

thejorie: xilast-zurvifferman: thejorie: jackbecq: thejorie: 19leahjade96: thejorie: madamekagamine: thejorie: gccgrimm: thejor...

hand off: GOTTA LOVE HOW PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO SLAM CAPTIAN MARVEL WHEN EVERYONE WAS CHEERING ON WONDER WOMAN. SO MUCH DOUBLE STANDARDS IN THE COMIC BOOK FANDOM IT'S SICKENING. SUPER-HERO-COonFESSIons theamazingcaptainspider: hayley566: waveringwannabevalkyrie: libertarirynn: hayley566: I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder Woman is more fantasy-esque and Captain Marvel is a more harsh reality. Let me explain, Wonder Woman grew up in a paradise without men or sexism and just now entered the world of man and just now experienced sexism. Carol grew up in the world of man and grew up within this system. That and Wonder Woman takes place further in the past, making it easier to think “wow, back then was awful but we’re way better now” while several comic fans grew up in the 90’s, making it feel not that long ago. While I love both films, I do feel like Captain Marvel took more risks than Wonder Woman in this sense and I applaud it for that. Miss me with that nonsense. The Carol we see at the start of the film only remembers her life on a planet where men and women were equally trained combatants and as far as we can tell have the respect of their male peers. Yes she was technically born on earth but until the latter half of the film she doesn’t remember that part. Her personality is shaped by the world that she remembers. And how is it “taking risks” to have a character that’s almost completely invulnerable and whose only “flaw” is not realizing how awesome she actually is, even though she was already practically all powerful? How is it taking risks to have a character who basically never learns or grows and is just already a badass who dispatches all enemies with little to no difficulty? Diana had to face defeat and the possibility that her simplistic belief in justice and the existence of war need to be re-examined. She had to work with others and listen to wisdom and advice in order to make informed decisions. She was powerful, but not invulnerable. She was relatable and likable. She didn’t go around being cold and rude to people for no damn reason and ooze pretension with every word she spoke. Y'all really can’t distinguish fiction from reality huh? I call bullshit on “wOrLd oF mEn” bullshit because CM’s writing was fucking trash. Literally every single fucking man she met besides Nick Fury and the Skrull guy was a complete misogynistic caricature, to the point that her FUCKING DAD’S first reaction to her getting in a go-cart accident was not desperate fear/concern for his only daughter, but to…immediately belittle her? No babe that’s not reality, that’s shit ass writers who have no sense of nuance and no sense of developing villains because “UHHHHH HERO IS WOMAN AND MAN HATE WOMAN SO ALL MEN BAD”.Take another example, the boot camp scene where apparently like 8 white guys have nothing to do except stand around and taunt Carol? Except in real life boot camp no one has fucking time to stand around, your ass is constantly being drilled and harassed by your drill instructor, and all of the recruits are being shaped into a unit to WORK TOGETHER, with everyone being treated equally harshly. (Also, I’m supposed to believe that boot camp back in the 80’s/90’s was unisex?) If it was just Carol training on her own, that again begs the question of why an entire group of guys was just staring at her while she was training instead of I don’t know… doing their own training? Relaxing on base during what little leisure time they had? But those questions don’t matter because the writers didn’t give a damn about reality. They only gave a fuck about pushing their bullshit man hating agenda, strawmanning all men, and creating a situation where Carol was nothing but a poor innocent victim of evil cruel men. They literally only existed to victimize Carol and make all of her behavior seem acceptable because “they were mean to her first, so if she decides to nearly break a man’s hand off and steal his motorcycle later, it’s okay!” That’s not fucking realism, that’s hack writing.Captain Marvel is bad, she’s not even remarkable by the standards of female characters, and quite frankly it’s insulting that you ignore and downplay other, far more iconic and well-written female heroes just because Carol plays to your politics. @waveringwannabevalkyrie “world of man” is a term used in the Wonder Woman comics several times to describe the world outside of themiscrya. That’s why I used it here. I would go over how abusive men do exist, just like abusive women do and how I’ve had my own experiences with an abusive father but from your tone, I think if I explain anymore you would make fun of me or something with the whole “aw you have daddy issues and that’s why you like the movie lol”. I’m so hope you’re not that cruel but knowing the internet, you cannot be safe. I just hope you’re not like those kind of people that I met and are willing to at least understand that just because you don’t experience something doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else.@libertarirynn as someone who’s seen the movie, I feel like the struggle was more than just “not knowing how awesome she was.” She was being lied to about her entire life for six years and we even see her have a breakdown upon realizing this. We see her sobbing out in a field over finding all this out. The idea of finally being free from the control of others, whether male or female (people seem to forget that minn-erva was also a villain in the movie) in both a physical and emotional sense. Despite Carol having her memories wiped in the beginning, the audience gets flashes of the sexism she faced growing up. While I love both films, I will say that captain marvel spoke to me more than Wonder Woman because of my own personal experiences and if it didn’t do the same for you guys, that’s fine. I just feel that the movie gets misrepresented or misinterpreted a lot and that it is unfair. It sucks that Wonder Woman is used to bash captain marvel despite the different approaches the movies take towards women’s issues. In fact, that behavior has caused me to like Wonder Woman less and less and I really don’t want that to happen. Not only do I start to see the flaws in the film being put on a pedestal, I become more defensive of the one that’s being misrepresented. I still love the Wonder Woman movie but the internet makes it hard to sometimes.I guess what I’m saying is…I wish fans wouldn’t use one to bash the other. I honestly wasn’t trying to bash Wonder Woman or use captain marvel to do so in my last reply. I was just explaining how one is more successful since it tried to be more palatable while the other took more risks in being a feminist film. I hope you both can see that I am not looking for a fight and am just explaining myself. I hope this helped you understand where I’m coming from and that instead of arguing or throwing insults like what usually happens online, this can be handled amicably. Both are good movies.People who hate them or use one to trash the other are secist idiots. End of story Or maybe they just have a different opinion and maybe you need to learn how to spell “sexist” before calling anyone else an idiot.
 hand off: GOTTA LOVE HOW PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO SLAM
 CAPTIAN MARVEL WHEN EVERYONE WAS CHEERING ON WONDER
 WOMAN. SO MUCH DOUBLE STANDARDS IN THE COMIC BOOK
 FANDOM IT'S SICKENING.
 SUPER-HERO-COonFESSIons
theamazingcaptainspider:

hayley566:

waveringwannabevalkyrie:
libertarirynn:

hayley566:

I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder Woman is more fantasy-esque and Captain Marvel is a more harsh reality. 
Let me explain, Wonder Woman grew up in a paradise without men or sexism and just now entered the world of man and just now experienced sexism. Carol grew up in the world of man and grew up within this system. That and Wonder Woman takes place further in the past, making it easier to think “wow, back then was awful but we’re way better now” while several comic fans grew up in the 90’s, making it feel not that long ago. 
While I love both films, I do feel like Captain Marvel took more risks than Wonder Woman in this sense and I applaud it for that.

Miss me with that nonsense. The Carol we see at the start of the film only remembers her life on a planet where men and women were equally trained combatants and as far as we can tell have the respect of their male peers. Yes she was technically born on earth but until the latter half of the film she doesn’t remember that part. Her personality is shaped by the world that she remembers. And how is it “taking risks” to have a character that’s almost completely invulnerable and whose only “flaw” is not realizing how awesome she actually is, even though she was already practically all powerful? How is it taking risks to have a character who basically never learns or grows and is just already a badass who dispatches all enemies with little to no difficulty? 
Diana had to face defeat and the possibility that her simplistic belief in justice and the existence of war need to be re-examined. She had to work with others and listen to wisdom and advice in order to make informed decisions. She was powerful, but not invulnerable. She was relatable and likable. She didn’t go around being cold and rude to people for no damn reason and ooze pretension with every word she spoke.

Y'all really can’t distinguish fiction from reality huh? I call bullshit on “wOrLd oF mEn” bullshit because CM’s writing was fucking trash. Literally every single fucking man she met besides Nick Fury and the Skrull guy was a complete misogynistic caricature, to the point that her FUCKING DAD’S first reaction to her getting in a go-cart accident was not desperate fear/concern for his only daughter, but to…immediately belittle her? No babe that’s not reality, that’s shit ass writers who have no sense of nuance and no sense of developing villains because “UHHHHH HERO IS WOMAN AND MAN HATE WOMAN SO ALL MEN BAD”.Take another example, the boot camp scene where apparently like 8 white guys have nothing to do except stand around and taunt Carol? Except in real life boot camp no one has fucking time to stand around, your ass is constantly being drilled and harassed by your drill instructor, and all of the recruits are being shaped into a unit to WORK TOGETHER, with everyone being treated equally harshly. (Also, I’m supposed to believe that boot camp back in the 80’s/90’s was unisex?) If it was just Carol training on her own, that again begs the question of why an entire group of guys was just staring at her while she was training instead of I don’t know… doing their own training? Relaxing on base during what little leisure time they had? But those questions don’t matter because the writers didn’t give a damn about reality. They only gave a fuck about pushing their bullshit man hating agenda, strawmanning all men, and creating a situation where Carol was nothing but a poor innocent victim of evil cruel men. They literally only existed to victimize Carol and make all of her behavior seem acceptable because “they were mean to her first, so if she decides to nearly break a man’s hand off and steal his motorcycle later, it’s okay!” That’s not fucking realism, that’s hack writing.Captain Marvel is bad, she’s not even remarkable by the standards of female characters, and quite frankly it’s insulting that you ignore and downplay other, far more iconic and well-written female heroes just because Carol plays to your politics.
@waveringwannabevalkyrie “world of man” is a term used in the Wonder Woman comics several times to describe the world outside of themiscrya. That’s why I used it here. I would go over how abusive men do exist, just like abusive women do and how I’ve had my own experiences with an abusive father but from your tone, I think if I explain anymore you would make fun of me or something with the whole “aw you have daddy issues and that’s why you like the movie lol”. I’m so hope you’re not that cruel but knowing the internet, you cannot be safe. I just hope you’re not like those kind of people that I met and are willing to at least understand that just because you don’t experience something doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else.@libertarirynn as someone who’s seen the movie, I feel like the struggle was more than just “not knowing how awesome she was.” She was being lied to about her entire life for six years and we even see her have a breakdown upon realizing this. We see her sobbing out in a field over finding all this out. The idea of finally being free from the control of others, whether male or female (people seem to forget that minn-erva was also a villain in the movie) in both a physical and emotional sense. Despite Carol having her memories wiped in the beginning, the audience gets flashes of the sexism she faced growing up. While I love both films, I will say that captain marvel spoke to me more than Wonder Woman because of my own personal experiences and if it didn’t do the same for you guys, that’s fine. I just feel that the movie gets misrepresented or misinterpreted a lot and that it is unfair. It sucks that Wonder Woman is used to bash captain marvel despite the different approaches the movies take towards women’s issues. In fact, that behavior has caused me to like Wonder Woman less and less and I really don’t want that to happen. Not only do I start to see the flaws in the film being put on a pedestal, I become more defensive of the one that’s being misrepresented. I still love the Wonder Woman movie but the internet makes it hard to sometimes.I guess what I’m saying is…I wish fans wouldn’t use one to bash the other. I honestly wasn’t trying to bash Wonder Woman or use captain marvel to do so in my last reply.  I was just explaining how one is more successful since it tried to be more palatable while the other took more risks in being a feminist film. I hope you both can see that I am not looking for a fight and am just explaining myself. I hope this helped you understand where I’m coming from and that instead of arguing or throwing insults like what usually happens online, this can be handled amicably.

Both are good movies.People who hate them or use one to trash the other are secist idiots. End of story

Or maybe they just have a different opinion and maybe you need to learn how to spell “sexist” before calling anyone else an idiot.

theamazingcaptainspider: hayley566: waveringwannabevalkyrie: libertarirynn: hayley566: I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonde...

hand off: m4ge iwalk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip creanm you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said "i have 5 kids" Ionce had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again. anais-ninja-blog new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks Actual conversation I had at register Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I get you, today?" How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?" 1-I'm sorry?" A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?" Oh. uh. Well, it'd be l suppose.. only have a button for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink. Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now How many 'add shots' is that?" deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with clears throat* "uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- Taste means nothing to me." At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being. Oh. Well, okay." I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We carn certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it. "Do you still have the 'Add Energy' packets?" My heart began to race at this request. Yes ma am." How many can I add? Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually One then. alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was not something to be spoken aloud. My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. "No." The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place. ta was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place. Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup. Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that. When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about "The Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, "Yeah, I had one like that." Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all these and more into a book. ..I thought Venti Espresso Cryptid was a fever dream my manager had. Good lord. When an elder one visits Starbucks.
 hand off: m4ge
 iwalk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice
 latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that
 i intend to transcend humanity and become a god.
 i ask for no whip creanm
 you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually
 order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso
 (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she
 did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me
 dead in the eyes and said "i have 5 kids"
 Ionce had a woman come in and ordered an
 Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink
 took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and
 she shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk
 about that woman. We never saw her again.
 anais-ninja-blog
 new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
 Actual conversation I had at register
 Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I
 get you, today?"
 How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?"
 1-I'm sorry?"
 A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?"
 Oh. uh. Well, it'd be l suppose.. only have a button
 for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty
 ounces of espresso in a single... drink.
 Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now
 How many 'add shots' is that?"
 deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with clears
 throat* "uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso.
 But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start
 to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us
 to pull twenty of them-
 Taste means nothing to me."
 At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in
 the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.
 Oh. Well, okay." I put on my absolute best customer
 service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must
 face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We carn
 certainly get that for you! The price will be
 She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar
 coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch
 demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden
 coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.
 "Do you still have the 'Add Energy' packets?"
 My heart began to race at this request. Yes ma am."
 How many can I add?
 Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to
 this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one
 per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually
 One then.
 alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays,
 dumps the change and five golden dollars into the
 tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it
 silently to the girl working the hot beverage station.
 Normally we called and pass, but this was not
 something to be spoken aloud.
 My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the
 minor break with protocol, until she sees the order.
 She stares at me. "No."
 The woman, which I call her for no other greater
 insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp,
 simply stands on the other side and says, calmly
 but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals
 in bad movies, "Yes
 My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are
 dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be.
 She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena's
 of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready
 position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti
 cup, and the shots begin pouring
 The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's
 gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are
 pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
 ta was damn near shaking. This woman's
 gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are
 pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
 Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar
 and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to
 down what must have been half the damn cup.
 Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was
 honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we
 knew nothing more of her after that.
 When I talk with other former employees, we quickly
 begin talking about "The Company" as if we'd never
 I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers
 that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And
 when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act
 shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
 "Yeah, I had one like that."
 Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre
 of literature. Please collect all these and
 more into a book.
 ..I thought Venti Espresso Cryptid was a fever dream
 my manager had. Good lord.
When an elder one visits Starbucks.

When an elder one visits Starbucks.

hand off: m4ge walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream avantgaye you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and saidi have 5 kids witchcraft-with-space-bean I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again. anais-ninja-blog new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks katjohnadams Actual conversation Ihad at register: Hi, welcome to [StarbucksI What can I get you, today? How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso? -I'm sorry? A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso? Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I supposeI only have a button for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink. Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is that?" deep breath of fear* "td be a quad with, "clears throat "uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- Taste means nothing to me. At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We can certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it Do you still have the Add Energy' packets?" My heart began to race at this request. "Yes ma am. How many can I add?" Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individualy One then." I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was..not something to be spoken aloud My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. "No." The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her territying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone lexpect of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand nevw Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the tires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that. When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, "Yeah, I had one like that." smartassjen Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all these and more into a book A modern day coffee shop cryptid
 hand off: m4ge
 walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i
 tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for
 no whip cream
 avantgaye
 you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte
 with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she
 did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and saidi
 have 5 kids
 witchcraft-with-space-bean
 I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of
 espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she
 shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never
 saw her again.
 anais-ninja-blog
 new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
 katjohnadams
 Actual conversation Ihad at register:
 Hi, welcome to [StarbucksI What can I get you, today?
 How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?
 -I'm sorry?
 A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?
 Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I supposeI only have a button for a Quad. I don't have
 special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink.
 Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is
 that?"
 deep breath of fear* "td be a quad with, "clears throat "uh, sixteen additional
 shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get
 really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-
 Taste means nothing to me.
 At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what
 must clearly be an eldritch being
 Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my
 terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We
 can certainly get that for you! The price will be
 She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from
 Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with
 golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it
 Do you still have the Add Energy' packets?"
 My heart began to race at this request. "Yes ma am.
 How many can I add?"
 Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons,
 we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets
 individualy
 One then."
 I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five
 golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it
 silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and
 pass, but this was..not something to be spoken aloud
 My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol,
 until she sees the order. She stares at me. "No."
 The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her territying being
 is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a
 commanding tone lexpect of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes
 My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our
 task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand nevw
 Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The
 energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring
 The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the tires of the
 sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place
 Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of
 cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn
 cup
 Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And
 horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.
 When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The
 Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers
 that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other
 Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
 "Yeah, I had one like that."
 smartassjen
 Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all
 these and more into a book
A modern day coffee shop cryptid

A modern day coffee shop cryptid

hand off: pancakeswithketchupmoonsan... Follow m4ge i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso itell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream avantgaye you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said i have 5 kids witchcraft-with-space-bean I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said " just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again anais-ninja-blog new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks katjohnadams Actual conversation I had at register: "Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I get you, today? How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?" 1-I'm sorry? A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso? Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I suppose... I only have a button for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink." "Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is that? deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with," "clears throat uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- Taste means nothing to me. At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We can certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon,I am sure of i. Do you still have the Add Energy' packets? My heart began to race at this request. Yes maam. How many can I add? Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually "One then. I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was not something to be spoken aloud. My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order She stares at me. "No." The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being s within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes. My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, "Yeah, Ihad one like that." smartassjen Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all these and more into a book jennyboom21 So 5 shots isn't normal??? Source: m4ge 284,670 notes Starbucks Lore
 hand off: pancakeswithketchupmoonsan... Follow
 m4ge
 i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso
 itell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for
 no whip cream
 avantgaye
 you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte
 with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she
 did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said
 i have 5 kids
 witchcraft-with-space-bean
 I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of
 espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she
 shrugged and said " just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never
 saw her again
 anais-ninja-blog
 new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
 katjohnadams
 Actual conversation I had at register:
 "Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I get you, today?
 How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?"
 1-I'm sorry?
 A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?
 Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I suppose... I only have a button for a Quad. I don't have
 special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink."
 "Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is
 that?
 deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with," "clears throat uh, sixteen additional
 shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get
 really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-
 Taste means nothing to me.
 At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what
 must clearly be an eldritch being
 Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my
 terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We
 can certainly get that for you! The price will be
 She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from
 Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with
 golden coins. My life will end soon,I am sure of i.
 Do you still have the Add Energy' packets?
 My heart began to race at this request. Yes maam.
 How many can I add?
 Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health
 reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets
 individually
 "One then.
 I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and
 five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it
 silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and
 pass, but this was not something to be spoken aloud.
 My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol,
 until she sees the order She stares at me. "No."
 The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being
 s within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a
 of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes.
 My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutful, we are true to our
 task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new
 Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The
 energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring
 The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the
 sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place
 Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of
 cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn
 cup
 Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy And
 horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that
 When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The
 Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers
 that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy
 other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
 "Yeah, Ihad one like that."
 smartassjen
 Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all
 these and more into a book
 jennyboom21
 So 5 shots isn't normal???
 Source: m4ge
 284,670 notes
Starbucks Lore

Starbucks Lore

hand off: now you kno! In the original Peter Pan book, he killed the Lost Boys when they got too old nowyoukno.com maybe-this-time: supernaturalshadowhunter: adventuretimetimeline: fuckier0: tempestuous-sovereignity: alittleworldofimagination: forgetpolitics: mariavontraphouse: philliciaglee: nowyoukno: See More Daily Facts Here! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH Sorry….kind of isn’t captain hook and his crew suppose to be a lost boys who escaped and that’s why he’s trying to kill peter pan …what the actual fuck I NEVER TRUSTED PETER PAN nah everything in Peter Pan was fucked up.  Tinkerbell and her fairy buddies were having an orgy when they found baby Peter. Tinks also extremely jealous, tricking one of the Lost Boys into shooting Wendy in the fucking chest. Peter’s also crazy omnipotent. Like, he “make believes” he’s a doctor, and heals Wendy. When he’s hungry, he pretends to eat imaginary food and his stomach actually gets fuller. He’s also a dick. He would teach children how to fly but never how to stop, so they’d fly for months on straight without rest or break, and they couldn’t sleep either or they’d stop flying. And when one of Wendy’s brothers actually fell asleep and plummeted into the ocean, Peter laughed his ass off. He only saved him when Wendy begged him too. okay but that’s the point of Peter Pan. It’s not supposed to glorify never growing up, it’s supposed to show kids why growing up is not only good, but necessary otherwise they’d end up as fucked up as Peter. He never matured, never learned right from wrong, he never listened to his parents because - according to Peter - he ran away as an infant.It’s a tale to teach children that listening to their parents and growing up is good. As far as Tinker Bell goes, if you actually read Peter Pan you would know that fairies only feel one emotion at a time and they feel that emotion very strongly so the orgy? lust. Trying to kill Wendy? Jealousy. She embodies the seven deadly sins and what happens if you let your emotions get the best of you. (And as far as the new fairies series of films making her nicer it’s because you only see the jealous side of her in Peter Pan and you see other sides of her in the series because those movies are about her).Rant over, you can go back to your regularly scheduled blogging now. So if Peter Pan shows up in your window. Stab him in the fucking chest kids. You have school tomorrow Reblogging because I believe this will be important to the Once Upon a Time fandom tomorrow. It’s more complicated than that. Peter is kind of a tragic hero. He chooses not to grow up, he knows he is incomplete. I mean, he cut off Hook's hand because he thought it was a game. He clearly doesn’t know right from wrong. He also only knows the unconditional love of a mother to a child, which is why he thinks everyone wants to be his mother. He also switches sides in a fight just for fun, kill pirates for fun, and “thins” out the Lost Boys when they can’t fit in the tree anymore. But, like, it wasn’t a cautionary tale to tell you to listen to your parents, it’s a story about death and youth. Why can’t Peter grow up? One of the popular theories is that it’s because he’s dead. J.M. Barrie’s older brother died when Barrie was little and he dressed up in his brother’s clothes to please his mom. His mom - who was always distant, whose love Barrie craved like Peter craves a mom - started crying and said something like “At least my baby will never grow up” and that idea stuck with Barrie forever. Then, as an adult, it’s believed he never slept with his wife because Barrie was just a kid. He was Peter Pan. He was too innocent for that. He befriended the Llewelyn-Davies boys and based Peter Pan off of them and their games. (Fun fact: The boy Peter Pan was named after, Peter Llewelyn-Davies, threw himself under a train). There was also a bunch of stuff about Barrie being in love with The Llewlyn-Davies boys’ mother, but that’s not important here. People think Peter’s dead because he literally cannot return home. He tried and the window was barred and his parents had replaced him with another baby. Why? Probably because they had lost Peter to the flu. Why does Peter come in through the window? Because of the joke “I once had a bird names Enza. I opened up the window and ‘influenza’.” Because lots of babies died back then form the flu. The Lost Boys are children who fell out of their prams. Odds are babies could not survive falling out of their prams. Peter is liked the pied piper ferrying the souls of young children to the neverland/afterlife. Barrie believed that all children were “gay and heartless” but he didn’t think that was a bad thing. Also, Hook and his crew are not old lost boys trying to kill Peter. Hook was once a British gentlemen (hinted at to be associated with Charles II and attended Elton) and he is afraid of growing old. His biggest fear is growing old and dying - that is why his nemesis is the embodiment of eternal youth. That is why the crocodile that chases him swallowed a clock and ticks. That is why when Peter finally decided “It’s Hook of me this time” the crocodile has stopped ticking and Peter started (he’s trying to trick them into thinking he’s the croc). At that moment - Peter is time and time has ran out for Hook. Also, it’s not so much that Peter is omnipotent. All kids basically are in the Neverland. Like, it states that the island looks different to every kid because it’s the land of their dreams and stuff. Also, the island legit freezes when Peter leaves and thaws when he comes back. He’s been there so long he’s not human anymore - but fey. (keep in mind being fey isn’t good, just chaotic neutral). Peter even secretes pixie dust now. The island is so fine tuned with him because he’s one of the only people that stay, that it caters to him. Most likely any child that stayed as long as he did would become omnipotent to an extent. As for Tinker Bell, the above stated is true. Fairies are so tiny they can only have one emotion at a time - “Tink wasn’t all bad” - and they also have really short lifespans so, like, Tinker Bell isn’t even that important to Peter Pan. He forgets all about her and Hook by the time Wendy is grown up.And the orgies thing is because in the legends fey are known for their revelries.  And it wasn’t so much that Peter was a dick, he just doesn’t know when to stop. He’s a child. He doesn’t know right from wrong. He doesn’t know when to stop playing -cutting Hooks hand off was a game to him. He also has the memory of a child, so odds are he just forgot to teach kids how to stop flying or how to imagine food, etc. He is just carefree, like all children. Everything is a game to him, because he never learned anything else. But like, no, Peter Pan is not a cautionary tale. Barrie loved his character and the story and brought up a lot of good things in it. He wrote Peter as an exaggeration of a cocky overconfident boy, but, like, Peter wasn’t afraid of death. It says “he felt scared, yet he felt only one shudder run through him when any other person would have felt scared up until death. With his blithe attitude towards death, he says, “To die will be an awfully big adventure”.“ and with that Barrie is showing us both a naivety and bravery we possess as children but lose as adults and is basically telling us that we shouldn’t let that go. Like, the point is growing up is inevitable but you don’t have to lose everything. And so yeah….I’m really passionate about Peter Pan.
 hand off: now you kno!
 In the original Peter Pan book,
 he killed the Lost Boys when
 they got too old
 nowyoukno.com
maybe-this-time:
supernaturalshadowhunter:

adventuretimetimeline:

fuckier0:

tempestuous-sovereignity:

alittleworldofimagination:

forgetpolitics:

mariavontraphouse:

philliciaglee:

nowyoukno:

See More Daily Facts Here!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH
Sorry….kind of

isn’t captain hook and his crew suppose to be a lost boys who escaped and that’s why he’s trying to kill peter pan

…what the actual fuck

I NEVER TRUSTED PETER PAN

nah everything in Peter Pan was fucked up. 
Tinkerbell and her fairy buddies were having an orgy when they found baby Peter. Tinks also extremely jealous, tricking one of the Lost Boys into shooting Wendy in the fucking chest.
Peter’s also crazy omnipotent. Like, he “make believes” he’s a doctor, and heals Wendy. When he’s hungry, he pretends to eat imaginary food and his stomach actually gets fuller.
He’s also a dick. He would teach children how to fly but never how to stop, so they’d fly for months on straight without rest or break, and they couldn’t sleep either or they’d stop flying. And when one of Wendy’s brothers actually fell asleep and plummeted into the ocean, Peter laughed his ass off. He only saved him when Wendy begged him too.

okay but that’s the point of Peter Pan. It’s not supposed to glorify never growing up, it’s supposed to show kids why growing up is not only good, but necessary otherwise they’d end up as fucked up as Peter. He never matured, never learned right from wrong, he never listened to his parents because - according to Peter - he ran away as an infant.It’s a tale to teach children that listening to their parents and growing up is good. As far as Tinker Bell goes, if you actually read Peter Pan you would know that fairies only feel one emotion at a time and they feel that emotion very strongly so the orgy? lust. Trying to kill Wendy? Jealousy. She embodies the seven deadly sins and what happens if you let your emotions get the best of you. (And as far as the new fairies series of films making her nicer it’s because you only see the jealous side of her in Peter Pan and you see other sides of her in the series because those movies are about her).Rant over, you can go back to your regularly scheduled blogging now.

So if Peter Pan shows up in your window. Stab him in the fucking chest kids. You have school tomorrow

Reblogging because I believe this will be important to the Once Upon a Time fandom tomorrow.

It’s more complicated than that. Peter is kind of a tragic hero. He chooses not to grow up, he knows he is incomplete.
I mean, he cut off Hook's hand because he thought it was a game. He clearly doesn’t know right from wrong. He also only knows the unconditional love of a mother to a child, which is why he thinks everyone wants to be his mother. He also switches sides in a fight just for fun, kill pirates for fun, and “thins” out the Lost Boys when they can’t fit in the tree anymore.
But, like, it wasn’t a cautionary tale to tell you to listen to your parents, it’s a story about death and youth. Why can’t Peter grow up? One of the popular theories is that it’s because he’s dead. J.M. Barrie’s older brother died when Barrie was little and he dressed up in his brother’s clothes to please his mom. His mom - who was always distant, whose love Barrie craved like Peter craves a mom - started crying and said something like “At least my baby will never grow up” and that idea stuck with Barrie forever. Then, as an adult, it’s believed he never slept with his wife because Barrie was just a kid. He was Peter Pan. He was too innocent for that. He befriended the Llewelyn-Davies boys and based Peter Pan off of them and their games. (Fun fact: The boy Peter Pan was named after, Peter Llewelyn-Davies, threw himself under a train). There was also a bunch of stuff about Barrie being in love with The Llewlyn-Davies boys’ mother, but that’s not important here.
People think Peter’s dead because he literally cannot return home. He tried and the window was barred and his parents had replaced him with another baby. Why? Probably because they had lost Peter to the flu. Why does Peter come in through the window? Because of the joke “I once had a bird names Enza. I opened up the window and ‘influenza’.” Because lots of babies died back then form the flu. The Lost Boys are children who fell out of their prams. Odds are babies could not survive falling out of their prams. Peter is liked the pied piper ferrying the souls of young children to the neverland/afterlife. Barrie believed that all children were “gay and heartless” but he didn’t think that was a bad thing.
Also, Hook and his crew are not old lost boys trying to kill Peter. Hook was once a British gentlemen (hinted at to be associated with Charles II and attended Elton) and he is afraid of growing old. His biggest fear is growing old and dying - that is why his nemesis is the embodiment of eternal youth. That is why the crocodile that chases him swallowed a clock and ticks. That is why when Peter finally decided “It’s Hook of me this time” the crocodile has stopped ticking and Peter started (he’s trying to trick them into thinking he’s the croc). At that moment - Peter is time and time has ran out for Hook.
Also, it’s not so much that Peter is omnipotent. All kids basically are in the Neverland. Like, it states that the island looks different to every kid because it’s the land of their dreams and stuff. Also, the island legit freezes when Peter leaves and thaws when he comes back. He’s been there so long he’s not human anymore - but fey. (keep in mind being fey isn’t good, just chaotic neutral). Peter even secretes pixie dust now. The island is so fine tuned with him because he’s one of the only people that stay, that it caters to him. Most likely any child that stayed as long as he did would become omnipotent to an extent.
As for Tinker Bell, the above stated is true. Fairies are so tiny they can only have one emotion at a time - “Tink wasn’t all bad” - and they also have really short lifespans so, like, Tinker Bell isn’t even that important to Peter Pan. He forgets all about her and Hook by the time Wendy is grown up.And the orgies thing is because in the legends fey are known for their revelries. 
And it wasn’t so much that Peter was a dick, he just doesn’t know when to stop. He’s a child. He doesn’t know right from wrong. He doesn’t know when to stop playing -cutting Hooks hand off was a game to him. He also has the memory of a child, so odds are he just forgot to teach kids how to stop flying or how to imagine food, etc. He is just carefree, like all children. Everything is a game to him, because he never learned anything else.
But like, no, Peter Pan is not a cautionary tale. Barrie loved his character and the story and brought up a lot of good things in it. He wrote Peter as an exaggeration of a cocky overconfident boy, but, like, Peter wasn’t afraid of death. It says “he felt scared, yet he felt only one shudder run through him when any other person would have felt scared up until death. With his blithe attitude towards death, he says, “To die will be an awfully big adventure”.“ and with that Barrie is showing us both a naivety and bravery we possess as children but lose as adults and is basically telling us that we shouldn’t let that go. Like, the point is growing up is inevitable but you don’t have to lose everything.
And so yeah….I’m really passionate about Peter Pan.

maybe-this-time: supernaturalshadowhunter: adventuretimetimeline: fuckier0: tempestuous-sovereignity: alittleworldofimagination: for...

hand off: "Excuse me, miss" Get your hand off my friends shoulder (pic via @ericcappell)
 hand off: "Excuse me, miss"
Get your hand off my friends shoulder (pic via @ericcappell)

Get your hand off my friends shoulder (pic via @ericcappell)