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Anaconda, Ass, and Baseball: u/Thigpenology 1d i.redd.it I met this local wet-nosed pup at the bar, his name is Smudge @DrSmashlove Playoff baseball is upon us. Now some of u ladies who grew up with brothers and-or a father (who was actually present ๐Ÿค—) already know a thing or two about sports. Matter fact yโ€™all know a LOT about sports, yโ€™all be at the bars with your blond pony tail hanging out the back of your cubs snap back recalling stats like a cot damn baseball announcer lol. But some of yโ€™all - like me (raised with sisters ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚) - donโ€™t know shiiiiiiiiit. Zero. Nada. And thatโ€™s completely fine! Sports are gay! (No offense to sports fans or homosexuals - Iโ€™m just saying letโ€™s call it what it is - if u a man who spend his days admiring men in tight pants then u a lil gay! Just a lil bit ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ˜‚). But anyway when it come to baseball itโ€™s one way to easily cheat and participate in any baseball discussion. As soon as a discussion about an impending baseball game come up, say one thing. Just one. U ready? โ€œWhoโ€™s pitching?โ€ Bam. BAM. Wind that boy up and let his ass go. Watch his ass talk for 45 MINUTES about the pitchers on both sides. โ€œWell for the Nats itโ€™s Strasburg - dude is INCREDIBLE - fastballs over 100 mphโ€ etc etc until you fall asleep face down in yo burger and fries u feel me? But u let him talk. Thatโ€™s all it is - talking. I go out on dates and afterward the girl be like โ€œwe clicked - youโ€™re amazing - talking to u felt so natural โ˜บ๏ธโ€ and Iโ€™m thinking โ€œyeah bish because I ainโ€™t talk! You talked and I nodded! U talked enuf for both of us witchoe tawkin ass!โ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚ But real talk just say it with me: โ€œwhoโ€™s pitching?โ€ And let him talk his sh!t. And watch him text his family the next day talmbout โ€œOMG I MET A GIRL NAMED MEGAN AND SHEโ€™S BEAUTIFUL AND SHE LOVES BASEBALLโ€ and his sister Karen just like โ€œfinally! You ex Kelly hated baseball! That b!tch!โ€ Now yโ€™all getting married. U feel me? U choosing bridesmaids dresses and picking appetizers for the wedding off of โ€œwhoโ€™s pitching?โ€ Warning: donโ€™t say โ€œwhoโ€™s on the mound?โ€ Thatโ€™s a little too manly baby girl u donโ€™t want him thinking yo armpits hairy lol. โ€œwhoโ€™s on the mound?โ€ Thatโ€™s like calling him โ€œbroโ€ ... like Bryson Tiller said: โ€œDonโ€™t.โ€ Whoโ€™s pitching? Now go get married Megan bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Anaconda, Ass, and Baseball: u/Thigpenology 1d i.redd.it
 I met this local wet-nosed pup at the bar, his
 name is Smudge
 @DrSmashlove
Playoff baseball is upon us. Now some of u ladies who grew up with brothers and-or a father (who was actually present ๐Ÿค—) already know a thing or two about sports. Matter fact yโ€™all know a LOT about sports, yโ€™all be at the bars with your blond pony tail hanging out the back of your cubs snap back recalling stats like a cot damn baseball announcer lol. But some of yโ€™all - like me (raised with sisters ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚) - donโ€™t know shiiiiiiiiit. Zero. Nada. And thatโ€™s completely fine! Sports are gay! (No offense to sports fans or homosexuals - Iโ€™m just saying letโ€™s call it what it is - if u a man who spend his days admiring men in tight pants then u a lil gay! Just a lil bit ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ˜‚). But anyway when it come to baseball itโ€™s one way to easily cheat and participate in any baseball discussion. As soon as a discussion about an impending baseball game come up, say one thing. Just one. U ready? โ€œWhoโ€™s pitching?โ€ Bam. BAM. Wind that boy up and let his ass go. Watch his ass talk for 45 MINUTES about the pitchers on both sides. โ€œWell for the Nats itโ€™s Strasburg - dude is INCREDIBLE - fastballs over 100 mphโ€ etc etc until you fall asleep face down in yo burger and fries u feel me? But u let him talk. Thatโ€™s all it is - talking. I go out on dates and afterward the girl be like โ€œwe clicked - youโ€™re amazing - talking to u felt so natural โ˜บ๏ธโ€ and Iโ€™m thinking โ€œyeah bish because I ainโ€™t talk! You talked and I nodded! U talked enuf for both of us witchoe tawkin ass!โ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚ But real talk just say it with me: โ€œwhoโ€™s pitching?โ€ And let him talk his sh!t. And watch him text his family the next day talmbout โ€œOMG I MET A GIRL NAMED MEGAN AND SHEโ€™S BEAUTIFUL AND SHE LOVES BASEBALLโ€ and his sister Karen just like โ€œfinally! You ex Kelly hated baseball! That b!tch!โ€ Now yโ€™all getting married. U feel me? U choosing bridesmaids dresses and picking appetizers for the wedding off of โ€œwhoโ€™s pitching?โ€ Warning: donโ€™t say โ€œwhoโ€™s on the mound?โ€ Thatโ€™s a little too manly baby girl u donโ€™t want him thinking yo armpits hairy lol. โ€œwhoโ€™s on the mound?โ€ Thatโ€™s like calling him โ€œbroโ€ ... like Bryson Tiller said: โ€œDonโ€™t.โ€ Whoโ€™s pitching? Now go get married Megan bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Playoff baseball is upon us. Now some of u ladies who grew up with brothers and-or a father (who was actually present ๐Ÿค—) already know a thin...