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Tumblr, Alien, and Blog: enrique262: Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant Disaster, liquitadors, soviet personnel in charge of the clean-up operation, “the liquidation”, of the disaster, are sent onto the rooftop of the stricken reactor 4 building to clean it up of highly radioactive debris, many coming from the inside of the destroyed reactor itself, as to ensure minimal working conditions could be established, enabling workers to begin construction of the containment building around the stricken reactor, the Sarcophagus.  These men, sent after remote-controlled robots originally tasked with this mission constantly broke down due to damage from the heavy radiation, were nicknamed bio-robots, and worked in such heavily radioactive environment, they couldn’t afford more than a minute of working time each on the rooftop, as more than that would ensure absorption of a fatal dose of radiation. Notice the white flashes at the bottom of the pictures, remnants of the radiation itself present in such alien, hostile environment, which was so strong it reflected itself onto the film inside the cameras, as stated by the journalist behind these pictures, Igor Kostin. The world’s most dangerous job, in the world’s most radioactive place, during the world’s worst nuclear disaster, these men, perhaps unknowingly in many cases, rose to the challenge and ensured the world would never known the horrors they suffered during that fateful year of 1986 in the Ukraine. 
Tumblr, Alien, and Blog: enrique262:
Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant Disaster, liquitadors, soviet personnel in charge of the clean-up operation, “the liquidation”, of the disaster, are sent onto the rooftop of the stricken reactor 4 building to clean it up of highly radioactive debris, many coming from the inside of the destroyed reactor itself, as to ensure minimal working conditions could be established, enabling workers to begin construction of the containment building around the 

stricken

 reactor, the Sarcophagus. 
These men, sent after remote-controlled robots originally tasked with this mission constantly broke down due to damage from the heavy radiation, were nicknamed bio-robots, and worked in such heavily radioactive environment, they couldn’t afford more than a minute of working time each on the rooftop, as more than that would ensure absorption of a fatal dose of radiation.
Notice the white flashes at the bottom of the pictures, remnants of the radiation itself present in such alien, hostile environment, which was so strong it reflected itself onto the film inside the cameras, as stated by the journalist behind these pictures, Igor Kostin.
The world’s most dangerous job, in the world’s most radioactive place, during the world’s worst nuclear disaster, these men, perhaps unknowingly in many cases, rose to the challenge and ensured the world would never known the horrors they suffered during that fateful year of 1986 in the Ukraine. 

enrique262: Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant Disaster, liquitadors, soviet personnel in charge of the clean-up operation, “the liquidation”, of...

Being Alone, Anaconda, and Best Friend: rapid-artwork Movie Pitch A strict all girls boarding school is across a river from a strict all boys boarding school Boys and girls are forbidden from fraternizing, but they find sneaky ways to form friendships and even date. I assume there is heavily monitored internet and phones are for emergencies only so they have to resort to more unconventional methods of communication. (Messages in bottles, a system of mirrors, writing on chalkboards and putting them in the windows ect.ect.) Until one day a shy boy at the boys boarding school tells his best friend (and the leader of a resident well meaning bovs gang) that he actually feels more like a girl The gang leader contacts the leader of a girl gang across the river and they begin to plan an overly elobrate heist to smuggle the shy trans girl across the river in exchange for a chill tomboy and the two will assume each other's lives until they graduate. Hijinks ensue as they pull a 'Great-Esacpe' style mission to avoid detection from the overly strict headmasters and an overly passionate team of campus security guards. Friendships are tested, there is lots of home alone style logic to outsmart the adults, and there is romantic tension between the leaders of the gangs as they put aside their differences to help their two friends find a place to be themselves. It is light-hearted in tone but is also over the top and everyone plays it way too serious to the point of comedy. The two kids swapping places have classic "parent trap" style hijinks pretending to be the other person and avoid detection. Think "kids next door""recess" but shot like a heist movie. Add a funny character actor as a dopey but well meaning janitor and you got a stew going. sleephawhoneedsit As a parent of two young impressionable children l 100% would take them to see this movie 19,090 notes “Kids Next Door + Reccess Heist Movie”
Being Alone, Anaconda, and Best Friend: rapid-artwork
 Movie Pitch
 A strict all girls boarding school is across a river
 from a strict all boys boarding school
 Boys and girls are forbidden from fraternizing,
 but they find sneaky ways to form friendships
 and even date. I assume there is heavily
 monitored internet and phones are for
 emergencies only so they have to resort to
 more unconventional methods of
 communication. (Messages in bottles, a system
 of mirrors, writing on chalkboards and putting
 them in the windows ect.ect.)
 Until one day a shy boy at the boys boarding
 school tells his best friend (and the leader of a
 resident well meaning bovs gang) that he
 actually feels more like a girl
 The gang leader contacts the leader of a girl
 gang across the river and they begin to plan an
 overly elobrate heist to smuggle the shy trans
 girl across the river in exchange for a chill
 tomboy and the two will assume each other's
 lives until they graduate.
 Hijinks ensue as they pull a 'Great-Esacpe'
 style mission to avoid detection from the overly
 strict headmasters and an overly passionate
 team of campus security guards.
 Friendships are tested, there is lots of home
 alone style logic to outsmart the adults, and
 there is romantic tension between the leaders
 of the gangs as they put aside their differences
 to help their two friends find a place to be
 themselves. It is light-hearted in tone but is
 also over the top and everyone plays it way too
 serious to the point of comedy. The two kids
 swapping places have classic "parent trap"
 style hijinks pretending to be the other person
 and avoid detection.
 Think "kids next door""recess" but shot like
 a heist movie.
 Add a funny character actor as a dopey but
 well meaning janitor and you got a stew going.
 sleephawhoneedsit
 As a parent of two young impressionable
 children l 100% would take them to see this
 movie
 19,090 notes
“Kids Next Door + Reccess Heist Movie”

“Kids Next Door + Reccess Heist Movie”

Http, Ww2, and Invest: the rest of ww2 Excellent new format. Invest heavily! via /r/MemeEconomy http://bit.ly/2MDuk1w
Http, Ww2, and Invest: the rest of
 ww2
Excellent new format. Invest heavily! via /r/MemeEconomy http://bit.ly/2MDuk1w

Excellent new format. Invest heavily! via /r/MemeEconomy http://bit.ly/2MDuk1w

Ass, Chelsea, and Donkey: malfunctioningtypewrite9 55:41:14.24 THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED ON THIS STREAM 1. THE FIRST $500 WAS EARNED BEFORE THE TREAM EVEN STARTED. 2. HBOMBERGUY WAS PLANNING ON MAYBE GETTING $3,000 3. CHELSEA FUCKING MANNING NOT ONLY SHOWED UP BUT JUST HUNG OUT ON THE CHAT FOR HOURS 3.5. THE FIRST THING HBOMBERGUY SAID TO CHELSEA FUCKING MANNING WAS "DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GET PAST BEAVER BOTHERS?" .5.5. SHE DIDN'T. HE WAS STUCK ON THAT MINIGAME FOR AN HOUR AND HAD TO CALL IN PROFESSIONAL SPEEDGAMERS TO HELP. 4. $25,000 WAS RAISED TO ERASE JK ROWLING 5. GRANT KIRKHOPE (THE PERSON BEHIND ALL THE MUSIC AND SOUND FOR DONKEY KONG 64) SHOWED UP AND SAID 'TRANS RIGHTS' IN DK'S VOICE 6. JOHN ROMERO (CREATOR OF DOOM) WED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS 7. JOSH SAWYER (PERSON BEHIND FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS) SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS 8. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS 9. DR CHUCK TINGLE ACTUALLY, HONESTLY SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS, AND PUSHED THE DONATIONS TO $300K THE ENTIRE STREAM HAS VERY HEAVILY FEATURED TRANS CREATORS, ACTIVISTS, AND COOL ASS PEOPLE SHOWING UP AND TALKING AND SHARING AND DOING AWESOME STUFF TO SUPPORT TRANS KIDS 11. THE ENTIRE DONATION IS GOING TO MERMAIDS, A SUPPORT AND EDUCATIONAL GROUP TO HELP SUPPORT TRANS KIDS AND FAMILIES, AND THE SUPPORT HAS BEEN AMAZING AND PHENOMENAL AND I'VE CRIED AT LEAST 3 TIMES 12. TEETH GANG EDIT 13. OH RIGHT THE STREAM HAS ALSO BEEN GOING ON FOR OVER 50 HOURS, HE'S SLEPT TWICE AND LEFT THE STREAM ON AND BOTH TIMES HE GAINED LIKE $10K WHILE THE SKELETON CREW TALKED OVER A SKELETON WEARING HEADPHONES alfunctioningtypewrite9 14. WE GOT THE DONATIONS UP TO PI WHILE NB GENDER THERAPIST BEN RECITES PI AND TALKS ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH FOR TRANS PEOPLE. 15. FUCK YOU GRAHAM halfunctioningtypewrite9 16, HE FUCKING DID IT. 101% ON DK64 AND $333K AND WE HAVE YET TO SEE HIM EAT A CARTON OF RAW SOY. UGLY CRY GANG YA'LL, WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. chuck tingle showed up?
Ass, Chelsea, and Donkey: malfunctioningtypewrite9
 55:41:14.24
 THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED ON THIS
 STREAM
 1. THE FIRST $500 WAS EARNED BEFORE THE
 TREAM EVEN STARTED.
 2. HBOMBERGUY WAS PLANNING ON MAYBE
 GETTING $3,000
 3. CHELSEA FUCKING MANNING NOT ONLY
 SHOWED UP BUT JUST HUNG OUT ON THE
 CHAT FOR HOURS
 3.5. THE FIRST THING HBOMBERGUY SAID TO
 CHELSEA FUCKING MANNING WAS "DO YOU
 KNOW HOW TO GET PAST BEAVER
 BOTHERS?"
 .5.5. SHE DIDN'T. HE WAS STUCK ON THAT
 MINIGAME FOR AN HOUR AND HAD TO CALL
 IN PROFESSIONAL SPEEDGAMERS TO HELP.
 4. $25,000 WAS RAISED TO ERASE JK
 ROWLING
 5. GRANT KIRKHOPE (THE PERSON BEHIND
 ALL THE MUSIC AND SOUND FOR DONKEY
 KONG 64) SHOWED UP AND SAID 'TRANS
 RIGHTS' IN DK'S VOICE
 6. JOHN ROMERO (CREATOR OF DOOM)
 WED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS
 7. JOSH SAWYER (PERSON BEHIND FALLOUT:
 NEW VEGAS) SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS
 RIGHTS
 8. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ SHOWED
 UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS
 9. DR CHUCK TINGLE ACTUALLY, HONESTLY
 SHOWED UP AND SAID TRANS RIGHTS, AND
 PUSHED THE DONATIONS TO $300K
 THE ENTIRE STREAM HAS VERY HEAVILY
 FEATURED TRANS CREATORS, ACTIVISTS,
 AND COOL ASS PEOPLE SHOWING UP AND
 TALKING AND SHARING AND DOING
 AWESOME STUFF TO SUPPORT TRANS KIDS
 11. THE ENTIRE DONATION IS GOING TO
 MERMAIDS, A SUPPORT AND EDUCATIONAL
 GROUP TO HELP SUPPORT TRANS KIDS AND
 FAMILIES, AND THE SUPPORT HAS BEEN
 AMAZING AND PHENOMENAL AND I'VE CRIED
 AT LEAST 3 TIMES
 12. TEETH GANG
 EDIT 13. OH RIGHT THE STREAM HAS ALSO
 BEEN GOING ON FOR OVER 50 HOURS, HE'S
 SLEPT TWICE AND LEFT THE STREAM ON
 AND BOTH TIMES HE GAINED LIKE $10K
 WHILE THE SKELETON CREW TALKED OVER A
 SKELETON WEARING HEADPHONES
 alfunctioningtypewrite9
 14. WE GOT THE DONATIONS UP TO PI WHILE
 NB GENDER THERAPIST BEN RECITES PI AND
 TALKS ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH FOR TRANS
 PEOPLE.
 15. FUCK YOU GRAHAM
 halfunctioningtypewrite9
 16, HE FUCKING DID IT. 101% ON DK64 AND
 $333K AND WE HAVE YET TO SEE HIM EAT A
 CARTON OF RAW SOY. UGLY CRY GANG
 YA'LL, WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.
chuck tingle showed up?

chuck tingle showed up?

9/11, Asian, and Jada Pinkett Smith: April @ReignOfApril Follow Ryan Coogler said finding Black stuntwomen was a challenge for @theblackpanther. But instead of using blackfaced white women (WHICH HAPPENS MORE THAN YOU KNOW), he expanded his reach and cast dancers and athletes. That's how we got @marija_abney as Dora Milaje. #BlackPanther Hollywood Reporter@THR "As difficult as it is for African-American actresses to find work on genre TV, it's even tougher for black stuntwomen" thr.cm/Ln9yex 9:11 AM- 9 Dec 2018 00Cæ›Čた 揂 1,006 Retweets 2,766 Likes 18 1.0K latining: note-a-bear: krockafella: So fucked up. To be clear, a major part of this is that there are very limited avenues to pursue stunt work generally, and those are heavily guarded by a word of mouth network of white men and, more recently, white women. Before anyone talks about the perceived ease of East Asian stunt performers, keep in mind that at least in the US, the vast majority are contracted because of specific proficiency and often as silent fodder for white heroes. That aside, there are plenty of talented performers who lack only the formal guidance to be *safe* and *recognized* stunt actors. There was just a guardian(?) article profiling some of the Black Women breaking into the UK stunt scene. (Previously Gotham was called out for using white stunt doubles for jada pinkett-smith) Here’s the Guardian article about black stuntwomen and larger problems with inequality in the industry.
9/11, Asian, and Jada Pinkett Smith: April
 @ReignOfApril
 Follow
 Ryan Coogler said finding Black stuntwomen
 was a challenge for @theblackpanther. But
 instead of using blackfaced white women
 (WHICH HAPPENS MORE THAN YOU KNOW),
 he expanded his reach and cast dancers and
 athletes. That's how we got @marija_abney as
 Dora Milaje. #BlackPanther
 Hollywood Reporter@THR
 "As difficult as it is for African-American actresses to find work on genre TV, it's even
 tougher for black stuntwomen" thr.cm/Ln9yex
 9:11 AM- 9 Dec 2018
 00Cæ›Čた
 揂
 1,006 Retweets
 2,766 Likes
 18 1.0K
latining:

note-a-bear:

krockafella:
So fucked up.

To be clear, a major part of this is that there are very limited avenues to pursue stunt work generally, and those are heavily guarded by a word of mouth network of white men and, more recently, white women. Before anyone talks about the perceived ease of East Asian stunt performers, keep in mind that at least in the US, the vast majority are contracted because of specific proficiency and often as silent fodder for white heroes.
That aside, there are plenty of talented performers who lack only the formal guidance to be *safe* and *recognized* stunt actors. There was just a guardian(?) article profiling some of the Black Women breaking into the UK stunt scene. 
(Previously Gotham was called out for using white stunt doubles for jada pinkett-smith)


Here’s the Guardian article about black stuntwomen and larger problems with inequality in the industry.

latining: note-a-bear: krockafella: So fucked up. To be clear, a major part of this is that there are very limited avenues to pursue stun...

Anaconda, Anna, and Children: Swedish Christmas Goat Burned Down for 27th Time a EXPAND just-a-sideblog: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: naniyou: naniyou: forthegothicheroine: sylvysparrow: cindehella: lord-kitschener: arealliveghost: stillvisions: maybenotboring: and at no point has anyone thought “maybe we should not build a giant flammable goat this year” They tried fireproofing. And armed guards. And fences, and cameras
 Sadly the wikipedia page has been cut down by super srs folks to remove all the awesome Keystone cops tales of the goat’s history (emphasis added by me) 1966 Stig GavlĂ©n came up with the idea of a giant goat made out of straw. But it turned out that GavlĂ©n organisation did not have enough funding for the goat. Then Harry Ström, who at that time was the chairman of the Södra Kungsgatan Ideella Förening (a non-profit society), decided to pay the whole cost for the goat out of his own pocket. The goat stood until midnight of New Year’s Eve, when it went up in flames. The perpetrator, who was from Hofors,GĂ€strikland, was found and convicted of vandalism. The first goat was insured and Ström got all his money back. 1967 Nothing happened. 1968 The goat survived. A fence was built around the goat. Previously it was popular for children to play hide-and-seek inside and around the goat. There was also a rumor that one night a couple had sex inside the goat. In subsequent years the inside of the goat was protected by a chicken-wire net. 1969 The goat was burnt down on New Year’s Eve. 1970 The goat was burnt down only six hours after it was assembled. Two very drunk teenagers were connected with the crime. With help from several financial contributors the goat was reassembled out of lake reed. 1971 The Southern Merchants got tired of their goats being burned and stopped building the goat. The Natural Science Club (Naturvetenskapliga Föreningen:NF) from the School of Vasa (Vasaskolan) took over.  1972 The goat collapsed because of sabotage. 1973 N/A 1974 Burnt. 1975 N/A 1976 Hit by a car. 1977 N/A 1978 Again, the goat was kicked to pieces. 1979 The goat was burnt even before it was erected. A new one was built and fireproofed. It was destroyed and broken into pieces. 1980 Burnt down on Christmas Eve. 1981 Nothing happened. 1982 Burnt down on Lucia (13 December). 1983 The legs were destroyed. 1984 Burnt down on 12 December, the night before Lucia. 1985 The 12.5 metre (41 ft) tall goat of the Natural Science Club was featured in the Guinness Book of Records for the first time. Even though the goat was enclosed by a 2 metres (6.6 ft) high metal fence, guarded by Securitas and even soldiers from the GĂ€vle I 14 Infantry Regiment, it was burnt down in January. 1986 The merchants of GĂ€vle decided they were willing to build the goat once again. From 1986 on two goats were built, the Southern Merchants’ and the School of Vasa’s. The big goat burnt down the night before Christmas Eve. 1987 A heavily fireproofed goat was built. It got burnt down a week before Christmas.[21] 1988 Nothing happened to the goat, but gamblers were for the first time able to gamble on the fate of the goat with English bookmakers. 1989 Again, the goat burnt down before it was assembled. Financial contributions from the public were raised to rebuild a goat that was burnt down in January. In March 1990 another goat was built, this time for the shooting of a Swedish motion picture called Black Jack. 1990 Nothing happened. The goat was guarded by many volunteers. 1991 The goat was joined by an advertising sled, that turned out to be illegally built. On the morning of Christmas Eve the goat was burnt down. It was later rebuilt to be taken to Stockholm as a part of a protest campaign against the closing of the I 14 Infantry Regiment. 1992 The goat was burnt down eight days after it was built. The Natural Science Club’s goat burnt down the same night. The Southern Merchants’ goat was rebuilt, but burned down on 20 December. The perpetrator of the three attacks was caught and sent to jail. The Goat Committee was founded in 1992. 1993 Once more the goat was featured in the Guinness Book of Records, the School of Vasa’s goat measured 14.9 metres (49 ft). The goat was guarded by taxis and the Swedish Home Guard. Nothing happened. 1994 Nothing happened. The goat followed the Swedish national hockey team to Italy for the World Championship in hockey. 1995 A Norwegian was arrested for attempting to burn down the goat. Burnt down on the morning of Christmas Day. Rebuilt to be standing before the 550th anniversary of GĂ€vle county. 1996 The first time the goat was guarded by webcams, nothing happened. 1997 Damaged by fireworks. The Natural Science Club’s goat was attacked too, but survived with minor damage. 1998 Burnt down on 11 December, even though there was a major blizzard. Was rebuilt. 1999 Burnt down only a couple of hours after it was erected. Rebuilt again before Lucia. The Natural Science Club’s goat was burnt down as well. 2000 Burnt down a couple of days before New Year’s Eve. The Natural Science Club’s goat got tossed in the GĂ€vle river. 2001 Goat set on fire on 23 December by Lawrence Jones, a 51-year-old visitor from Cleveland, Ohio, who spent 18 days in jail and was subsequently convicted and ordered to pay 100,000 Swedish kronor in damages. The court confiscated Jones’s cigarette lighter with the argument that he clearly was not able to handle it. Jones stated in court that he was no “goat burner”, and believed that he was taking part in a completely legal goat-burning tradition. After Jones was released from jail he went straight back to the US without paying his fine. As of 2006 it was still unpaid. The Natural Science Club’s goat was also burnt down. 2002 A 22 year old from Stockholm tried to set the Southern Merchants’ goat on fire, but failed, the goat receiving only minor damage. On Lucia the goat was guarded by Swedish radio and TV personality Gert Fylking. 2003 Burnt down on 12 December. 2004 Burnt 21 December, only three days before Christmas Eve. The fire brigade quickly arrived on the scene, but the goat could not be saved. No new goat was built. 2005 Burnt by unknown vandals reportedly dressed as Santa and the gingerbread man, by shooting a flaming arrow at the goat at 21:00 on 3 December. Reconstructed on 5 December. The hunt for the arsonist responsible for the goat-burning in 2005 was featured on the weekly Swedish live broadcast TV3’s “Most Wanted“ (”Efterlyst”) on 8 December. 2006 On the night of 15 December at 03:00, someone tried to set fire to the goat by dousing the right front leg in petrol (gasoline). The red ribbon on that leg was slightly burned and fell off. The lower part of the right leg was scorched, but the rest of the goat failed to light. The leg was repaired that morning. The Natural Science Club’s goat was burned at about 00:40 on 20 December; the vandals were not seen and got away. On the night of 25 December, a drunken man managed to climb up on the goat. Before the police arrived on the scene the man climbed down and disappeared. He did not try to set fire to the goat. The Southern Merchants’ goat survived New Year’s Eve and was taken down on 2 January. It is now stored in a secret location. 2007 The Natural Science Club’s goat was toppled on 13 December and was burned on the night of 24 December. The Southern Merchants’ goat survived. 2008 10,000 people turned out for the inauguration of one of the goats. No back-up goat was built to replace the main goat should the worst happen, nor was the goat treated with flame repellent (Anna Östman, spokesperson of the Goat-committee said the repellent made it look ugly in the previous years, like a brown terrier). On 16 December the Natural Science Club’s Goat was vandalised and later removed. On 26 December there was an attempt to burn down the Southern Merchants’ Goat but patriotic passers-by managed to extinguish the fire. The following day the goat finally succumbed to the flames ignited by an unknown assailant at 03:50 CET. 2009 A person attempted to set the Southern Merchants’ goat on fire the night of 7 December. An unsuccessful attempt was made to throw the Natural Science Club’s goat into the river the weekend of 11 December. The culprit then tried, again without success, to set the goat on fire. Someone stole the Natural Science Club’s goat utilizing a truck the night of 14 December.[36] On the night of 23 December before 04:00 the South Merchant goat was set on fire and was burned to the frame, even though it had a thick layer of snow on its back.[37] The goat had two online webcams which were put out of service by aDoS attack, instigated by computer hackers just before the burning.[38] 2010 On the night of 2 December, arsonists made an unsuccessful attempt to burn the Natural Science Club’s goat.[39] On 17 December, a Swedish news site reported that one of the guards tasked with protecting the Southern Merchants’ goat had been offered payment to leave his post so that the goat could be stolen via helicopter and transported to Stockholm. Both goats survived and were dismantled and returned to storage in early January 2011. 2011 The inauguration of the goat took place on 27 November. The fire-fighters of GĂ€vle sprayed the goat with water to create a coating of ice in the hope of protecting it from arson. The goat was burnt down in the early morning of 2 December. 2012 The inauguration of the goat took place on 2 December. It was burnt just ten days later in the hours before midnight of 12 December, one day before Lucia. 2013 As in 2006 and 2007, the straw used to build the goat has been soaked in anti-flammable liquid to prevent it from burning in the event of an arson attack. The inauguration ceremony took place on 1 December. But despite the anti-flammable liquids the goat was burnt down on the early morning of December 21. Any history of plots involving a DDoS attack on the security cameras, a plot to steal it with a helicopter and flaming arrows shot by people dressed as Santa and the Gingerbread man is just plain hilarious in my book. I’m laughing so much about this goat. obviously if you build something big enough people are going to have sex in it and burn it down. obviously what the fuck is going on in sweden how will the saga continue this year fascinating The saga of the goat is the best part of the season. For those curious about 2015â€Čs goat: It’s that time of year again 2016: Burned within hours of being built 2017: Survived 2018: Nothing yet
 WILL THE GOAT LIVE THIS YEAR Best tumblr meme
Anaconda, Anna, and Children: Swedish Christmas Goat Burned Down for
 27th Time
 a EXPAND
just-a-sideblog:
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

naniyou:

naniyou:

forthegothicheroine:

sylvysparrow:

cindehella:

lord-kitschener:

arealliveghost:

stillvisions:

maybenotboring:
and at no point has anyone thought “maybe we should not build a giant flammable goat this year”
They tried fireproofing. And armed guards. And fences, and cameras
 Sadly the wikipedia page has been cut down by super srs folks to remove all the awesome Keystone cops tales of the goat’s history (emphasis added by me)

1966 Stig GavlĂ©n came up with the idea of a giant goat made out of straw. But it turned out that GavlĂ©n organisation did not have enough funding for the goat. Then Harry Ström, who at that time was the chairman of the Södra Kungsgatan Ideella Förening (a non-profit society), decided to pay the whole cost for the goat out of his own pocket. The goat stood until midnight of New Year’s Eve, when it went up in flames. The perpetrator, who was from Hofors,GĂ€strikland, was found and convicted of vandalism. The first goat was insured and Ström got all his money back.

1967 Nothing happened.

1968 The goat survived. A fence was built around the goat. Previously it was popular for children to play hide-and-seek inside and around the goat. There was also a rumor that one night a couple had sex inside the goat. In subsequent years the inside of the goat was protected by a chicken-wire net.

1969 The goat was burnt down on New Year’s Eve.

1970 The goat was burnt down only six hours after it was assembled. Two very drunk teenagers were connected with the crime. With help from several financial contributors the goat was reassembled out of lake reed.

1971 The Southern Merchants got tired of their goats being burned and stopped building the goat. The Natural Science Club (Naturvetenskapliga Föreningen:NF) from the School of Vasa (Vasaskolan) took over. 

1972 The goat collapsed because of sabotage.

1973 N/A

1974 Burnt.

1975 N/A

1976 Hit by a car.

1977 N/A

1978 Again, the goat was kicked to pieces.

1979 The goat was burnt even before it was erected. A new one was built and fireproofed. It was destroyed and broken into pieces.

1980 Burnt down on Christmas Eve.

1981 Nothing happened.

1982 Burnt down on Lucia (13 December).

1983 The legs were destroyed.

1984 Burnt down on 12 December, the night before Lucia.

1985 The 12.5 metre (41 ft) tall goat of the Natural Science Club was featured in the Guinness Book of Records for the first time. Even though the goat was enclosed by a 2 metres (6.6 ft) high metal fence, guarded by Securitas and even soldiers from the GÀvle I 14 Infantry Regiment, it was burnt down in January.

1986 The merchants of GĂ€vle decided they were willing to build the goat once again. From 1986 on two goats were built, the Southern Merchants’ and the School of Vasa’s. The big goat burnt down the night before Christmas Eve.

1987 A heavily fireproofed goat was built. It got burnt down a week before Christmas.[21]

1988 Nothing happened to the goat, but gamblers were for the first time able to gamble on the fate of the goat with English bookmakers.

1989 Again, the goat burnt down before it was assembled. Financial contributions from the public were raised to rebuild a goat that was burnt down in January. In March 1990 another goat was built, this time for the shooting of a Swedish motion picture called Black Jack.

1990 Nothing happened. The goat was guarded by many volunteers.

1991 The goat was joined by an advertising sled, that turned out to be illegally built. On the morning of Christmas Eve the goat was burnt down. It was later rebuilt to be taken to Stockholm as a part of a protest campaign against the closing of the I 14 Infantry Regiment.

1992 The goat was burnt down eight days after it was built. The Natural Science Club’s goat burnt down the same night. The Southern Merchants’ goat was rebuilt, but burned down on 20 December. The perpetrator of the three attacks was caught and sent to jail. The Goat Committee was founded in 1992.

1993 Once more the goat was featured in the Guinness Book of Records, the School of Vasa’s goat measured 14.9 metres (49 ft). The goat was guarded by taxis and the Swedish Home Guard. Nothing happened.

1994 Nothing happened. The goat followed the Swedish national hockey team to Italy for the World Championship in hockey.

1995 A Norwegian was arrested for attempting to burn down the goat. Burnt down on the morning of Christmas Day. Rebuilt to be standing before the 550th anniversary of GÀvle county.

1996 The first time the goat was guarded by webcams, nothing happened.

1997 Damaged by fireworks. The Natural Science Club’s goat was attacked too, but survived with minor damage.

1998 Burnt down on 11 December, even though there was a major blizzard. Was rebuilt.

1999 Burnt down only a couple of hours after it was erected. Rebuilt again before Lucia. The Natural Science Club’s goat was burnt down as well.

2000 Burnt down a couple of days before New Year’s Eve. The Natural Science Club’s goat got tossed in the GĂ€vle river.

2001 Goat set on fire on 23 December by Lawrence Jones, a 51-year-old visitor from Cleveland, Ohio, who spent 18 days in jail and was subsequently convicted and ordered to pay 100,000 Swedish kronor in damages. The court confiscated Jones’s cigarette lighter with the argument that he clearly was not able to handle it. Jones stated in court that he was no “goat burner”, and believed that he was taking part in a completely legal goat-burning tradition. After Jones was released from jail he went straight back to the US without paying his fine. As of 2006 it was still unpaid. The Natural Science Club’s goat was also burnt down.

2002 A 22 year old from Stockholm tried to set the Southern Merchants’ goat on fire, but failed, the goat receiving only minor damage. On Lucia the goat was guarded by Swedish radio and TV personality Gert Fylking.

2003 Burnt down on 12 December.

2004 Burnt 21 December, only three days before Christmas Eve. The fire brigade quickly arrived on the scene, but the goat could not be saved. No new goat was built.

2005 Burnt by unknown vandals reportedly dressed as Santa and the gingerbread man, by shooting a flaming arrow at the goat at 21:00 on 3 December. Reconstructed on 5 December. The hunt for the arsonist responsible for the goat-burning in 2005 was featured on the weekly Swedish live broadcast TV3’s “Most Wanted“ (”Efterlyst”) on 8 December.

2006 On the night of 15 December at 03:00, someone tried to set fire to the goat by dousing the right front leg in petrol (gasoline). The red ribbon on that leg was slightly burned and fell off. The lower part of the right leg was scorched, but the rest of the goat failed to light. The leg was repaired that morning. The Natural Science Club’s goat was burned at about 00:40 on 20 December; the vandals were not seen and got away. On the night of 25 December, a drunken man managed to climb up on the goat. Before the police arrived on the scene the man climbed down and disappeared. He did not try to set fire to the goat. The Southern Merchants’ goat survived New Year’s Eve and was taken down on 2 January. It is now stored in a secret location.

2007 The Natural Science Club’s goat was toppled on 13 December and was burned on the night of 24 December. The Southern Merchants’ goat survived.

2008 10,000 people turned out for the inauguration of one of the goats. No back-up goat was built to replace the main goat should the worst happen, nor was the goat treated with flame repellent (Anna Östman, spokesperson of the Goat-committee said the repellent made it look ugly in the previous years, like a brown terrier). On 16 December the Natural Science Club’s Goat was vandalised and later removed. On 26 December there was an attempt to burn down the Southern Merchants’ Goat but patriotic passers-by managed to extinguish the fire. The following day the goat finally succumbed to the flames ignited by an unknown assailant at 03:50 CET.

2009 A person attempted to set the Southern Merchants’ goat on fire the night of 7 December. An unsuccessful attempt was made to throw the Natural Science Club’s goat into the river the weekend of 11 December. The culprit then tried, again without success, to set the goat on fire. Someone stole the Natural Science Club’s goat utilizing a truck the night of 14 December.[36] On the night of 23 December before 04:00 the South Merchant goat was set on fire and was burned to the frame, even though it had a thick layer of snow on its back.[37] The goat had two online webcams which were put out of service by aDoS attack, instigated by computer hackers just before the burning.[38]

2010 On the night of 2 December, arsonists made an unsuccessful attempt to burn the Natural Science Club’s goat.[39] On 17 December, a Swedish news site reported that one of the guards tasked with protecting the Southern Merchants’ goat had been offered payment to leave his post so that the goat could be stolen via helicopter and transported to Stockholm. Both goats survived and were dismantled and returned to storage in early January 2011.

2011 The inauguration of the goat took place on 27 November. The fire-fighters of GÀvle sprayed the goat with water to create a coating of ice in the hope of protecting it from arson. The goat was burnt down in the early morning of 2 December.

2012 The inauguration of the goat took place on 2 December. It was burnt just ten days later in the hours before midnight of 12 December, one day before Lucia.

2013 As in 2006 and 2007, the straw used to build the goat has been soaked in anti-flammable liquid to prevent it from burning in the event of an arson attack. The inauguration ceremony took place on 1 December. But despite the anti-flammable liquids the goat was burnt down on the early morning of December 21.
Any history of plots involving a DDoS attack on the security cameras, a plot to steal it with a helicopter and flaming arrows shot by people dressed as Santa and the Gingerbread man is just plain hilarious in my book.

I’m laughing so much about this goat. obviously if you build something big enough people are going to have sex in it and burn it down. obviously

what the fuck is going on in sweden

how will the saga continue this year

fascinating

The saga of the goat is the best part of the season.

For those curious about 2015â€Čs goat:









It’s that time of year again
2016: Burned within hours of being built
2017: Survived
2018: Nothing yet


WILL THE GOAT LIVE THIS YEAR


Best tumblr meme

just-a-sideblog: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: naniyou: naniyou: forthegothicheroine: sylvysparrow: cindehella: lord-kitschener: areall...

Ass, Children, and Girls: tenaflyviper Tumblr has always been one of the most poorly-run sites I've ever seen. It has been the laughingstock of the internet for YEARS be- cause of this. @staff, I'm gonna lay this down right now: In making this latest decision, you have not made the site any safer, especially when a lot of the "harm to minors" around here comes from users' piss-poor treatment of each other that you've always turned a blind eye to. You have not made it more appealing to investors, especially because you'll be forcing content creators out in droves, thus leaving behind pretty much only the previously-mentioned piss-poor behavior. Do you honestly believe focusing on tags is going to work? And what do you propose to do when people simply stop using tags, or come up with alternative ones? Focusing on links? We've been sending links to each other's inboxes right under your noses for years-we just replace a few dots with commas, and your system misses it. If WE can get around it, I'm pretty sure bots can be programmed to do the same. Nixxing links to third-party sites? Well, you've just screwed over a lot of people looking for support on Patreon or trying to start fundraisers for their injured pets. You were asked to do two things that many sites haven't had much issue taking care of: Getting rid of spam bots, and keeping the site reasonably clear of illegal content. Your staff is so collossally inept that every attempt you've ever made to rectify these issues has caused loss of site function, and massive backlash from the user base. Only now that it's affecting your wallets do you attempt to do anything about it, and the thing you've chosen to do is essentially lose the majority of your users by coming up with half-ass "solutions" that actually do more harm to those users than the legitimate criminals you're trying to eradicate If what you really want is a site for children and teens without any adult content, then MAKE ONE (not that it'd really solve anything, since the most prolific producers of drawn and written porn are teenage girls, and nothing would stop users there from continuing to be abusive as hell towards each other). The users on this site are literally 85% adults that came here under the impression that they wouldn't be heavily censored or limited as they are on other social media outlets, and could create a visual and written expression of themselves, and their interests Congratulations on removing the only draw this site ever had Source: staff An eloquent response to the issues with Tumblr staff
Ass, Children, and Girls: tenaflyviper
 Tumblr has always been one of the most
 poorly-run sites I've ever seen. It has been the
 laughingstock of the internet for YEARS be-
 cause of this. @staff, I'm gonna lay this down
 right now: In making this latest decision, you
 have not made the site any safer, especially
 when a lot of the "harm to minors" around
 here comes from users' piss-poor treatment
 of each other that you've always turned a
 blind eye to. You have not made it more
 appealing to investors, especially because
 you'll be forcing content creators out in
 droves, thus leaving behind pretty much only
 the previously-mentioned piss-poor behavior.
 Do you honestly believe focusing on tags is
 going to work? And what do you propose to
 do when people simply stop using tags, or
 come up with alternative ones? Focusing
 on links? We've been sending links to each
 other's inboxes right under your noses
 for years-we just replace a few dots with
 commas, and your system misses it. If WE
 can get around it, I'm pretty sure bots can be
 programmed to do the same. Nixxing links
 to third-party sites? Well, you've just screwed
 over a lot of people looking for support on
 Patreon or trying to start fundraisers for
 their injured pets.
 You were asked to do two things that many
 sites haven't had much issue taking care of:
 Getting rid of spam bots, and keeping the
 site reasonably clear of illegal content. Your
 staff is so collossally inept that every attempt
 you've ever made to rectify these issues has
 caused loss of site function, and massive
 backlash from the user base. Only now that
 it's affecting your wallets do you attempt to
 do anything about it, and the thing you've
 chosen to do is essentially lose the majority
 of your users by coming up with half-ass
 "solutions" that actually do more harm
 to those users than the legitimate criminals
 you're trying to eradicate
 If what you really want is a site for children
 and teens without any adult content,
 then MAKE ONE (not that it'd really solve
 anything, since the most prolific producers
 of drawn and written porn are teenage girls,
 and nothing would stop users there from
 continuing to be abusive as hell towards each
 other). The users on this site are literally 85%
 adults that came here under the impression
 that they wouldn't be heavily censored or
 limited as they are on other social media
 outlets, and could create a visual and written
 expression of themselves, and their interests
 Congratulations on removing the only draw
 this site ever had
 Source: staff
An eloquent response to the issues with Tumblr staff

An eloquent response to the issues with Tumblr staff

Dumb, Fake, and Internet: Create a meme in an old format with barely any effort Post it to r Get four whole karma Get four whole karma The meme Add more panels is now both oc and original format The idea isn't new and still only gets you four karma The idea isn't new and still only gets you four karma Make the meme exta meta by adding more panels about being meta The longer format gets more upvotes because it makes it seem like more effort was put irn Ruin it by mentioning it in the meme so people realize how low-effort and dunb the meme really is Ruin it by mentioning it in the meme so people realize how low-effort and dumb the meme really is Make the post so long people will want to upvote simply Reap the karma they're so invested at this point Realize you've made the text way too small by writing super long Now you'll get two karma at most Realize you've broken the formula Realize you've spent 30 minutes making a shitty meme for no reason other than to get fake internet points, and that people probably wont upvote anyway Become suddenly aware of all of you problems Have an existential crisis over a meme Clammer onto any last hope of escapism through creating a shitty meme by heavily editing it for no reason other than to seem more relevant Wait weeks before posting the meme because you get literal anxiety attacks over how strangers you'll never meet will respond to it This really hit me in the feels via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2AoxD6V
nsfw
Dumb, Fake, and Internet: Create a
 meme in
 an old
 format with
 barely any
 effort
 Post it to r
 Get four
 whole
 karma
 Get four
 whole
 karma
 The meme
 Add more
 panels
 is now both
 oc and
 original
 format
 The idea
 isn't new
 and still
 only gets
 you four
 karma
 The idea
 isn't new
 and still
 only gets
 you four
 karma
 Make the
 meme exta
 meta by
 adding more
 panels about
 being meta
 The longer
 format gets
 more upvotes
 because it
 makes it seem
 like more effort
 was put irn
 Ruin it by
 mentioning it in
 the meme so
 people realize
 how low-effort
 and dunb the
 meme really is
 Ruin it by
 mentioning it in
 the meme so
 people realize
 how low-effort
 and dumb the
 meme really is
 Make the post
 so long people
 will want to
 upvote simply
 Reap the
 karma
 they're so
 invested at this
 point
 Realize you've
 made the text
 way too small
 by writing
 super long
 Now you'll
 get two
 karma at
 most
 Realize
 you've
 broken the
 formula
 Realize you've spent 30 minutes
 making a shitty meme for no
 reason other than to get fake
 internet points, and that people
 probably wont upvote anyway
 Become suddenly aware of all of
 you problems
 Have an existential crisis over a
 meme
 Clammer onto any
 last hope of escapism
 through creating a
 shitty meme by
 heavily editing it for
 no reason other than
 to seem more
 relevant
 Wait weeks before posting the
 meme because you get literal
 anxiety attacks over how
 strangers you'll never meet
 will respond to it
This really hit me in the feels via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2AoxD6V

This really hit me in the feels via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2AoxD6V

9/11, America, and Children: The Turkey Story So it's 2001, and my family drives from fu California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for into a nursing home and it's their last holiday in that house. So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing. Since it's their last holiday there, the family pulls out all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed Potatoes and the horrible candied yams with the mini marshmallows dish because not all expressions of love are even if they are si In the spirit of going alout, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been ad- dicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in the backyard where he makes various cured meats and other delights. He seasons the turkey in the traditional manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for SO Game Hen seasoned that way, for them. Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea. He realizes that he can stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen be- cuase why not? He confers with Mom, and she explains how to cut open the turkey so there's dramatic reveal as the stuffing and game hen come out. It's Genius. Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle Cliff s after her So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit high, between the marathon cooking, the kids al being trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards, and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement, getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic groups were destroying America. Being that I had close Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of 9/11, 1 was near tears from this nonsense and ready to n roughly five times my size. Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and defending him, or telling us we're rotten children for 'attacking him, becuase she Must Stand By Her Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of dog feces with an ugly mustache My sister eventually boits upstairs to tattle and my grandfather limps down to the basement and brandishes his Hip Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in spite of the Parkinson's slowly taking over him. Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but while you are under it you will be civil, or Ill beat your skull in. Also, dinner's ready, everyone go wash up. We go upstairs and sit down, and do the traditional "Name one thing you're thankful for as the bread gets passed around the table, and things calm down a bit. Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone goes OOH becuase it's really pretty, them Mom carves it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along with the game hen and there's an appreciative gasp all around becuase it looks cool. Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard Munch and shrieks OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANTI We all stare at Sue. We all look back at the fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out where to begin but since shed been trying to justify Cliffs behavior she was pretty much free-associating conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going. IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE'VE COMMITTED AN ABORTION WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I'M SO SORRY JESUS She goes into full pearl-clutching gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her chair like it's a Victorian fainting couch only it's a shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and kicking her feet like a toddler Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while my grandmother mouths she's not coming back Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up, are assisted by Dad, who is saintly patient man and less immune to this jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle ICANT EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS BARBARISM Sue begins but Dad puts on his best Kindly Father voice (he was heavily involved with the catholic church and even considered becoming a priest before getting drafted but that's another story)and assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the room if she wants. She nods, placated by being the center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill. I wouldn't want you to go hungry. Can I make you some That would be lovely." Said Sue, joke flying over her ng 747. I recall watching my grandmot her nearly choke to death on the green beans over that, and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind. Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they went home, and the party got underway properly, with Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby For t Turkey has been an staple since then. I'll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE to shriek "OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT when you carve it open, or it's not authentic and won't taste as good 2. Share the pictures with me, Very planned Parenthood
9/11, America, and Children: The Turkey Story
 So it's 2001, and my family drives from fu
 California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for
 into
 a nursing home and it's their last holiday in that house.
 So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing.
 Since it's their last holiday there, the family pulls out
 all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian
 desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed
 Potatoes and the horrible candied yams with the mini
 marshmallows dish because not all expressions of love
 are
 even if they are si
 In the spirit of going
 alout, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey
 Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy
 foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been ad-
 dicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in
 the backyard where he makes various cured meats and
 other delights. He seasons the turkey in the traditional
 manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for
 SO
 Game Hen seasoned that way, for them.
 Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea. He realizes that he can
 stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular
 stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put
 the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen be-
 cuase why not? He confers with Mom, and she explains
 how to cut open the turkey so there's dramatic reveal
 as the stuffing and game hen come out. It's Genius.
 Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle
 Cliff s
 after her
 So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit
 high, between the marathon cooking, the kids al being
 trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards,
 and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse
 himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement,
 getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic
 groups were destroying America. Being that I had close
 Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of
 9/11, 1 was near tears from this nonsense and ready to
 n roughly five times my size.
 Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and
 defending him, or telling us we're rotten children
 for 'attacking him, becuase she Must Stand By Her
 Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of dog feces with an
 ugly
 mustache
 My sister eventually boits upstairs to tattle and
 my grandfather limps down to the basement and
 brandishes his Hip Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in
 spite of the Parkinson's slowly taking over him.
 Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but
 while you are under it you will be civil, or Ill beat your
 skull in. Also, dinner's ready, everyone go wash up.
 We go upstairs and sit down, and do the
 traditional "Name one thing you're thankful for as the
 bread gets passed around the table, and things calm
 down a bit. Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone
 goes OOH becuase it's really pretty, them Mom carves
 it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along
 with the game hen and there's an appreciative gasp all
 around becuase it looks cool.
 Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting
 up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard
 Munch and shrieks
 OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANTI
 We all stare at Sue. We all look back at the
 fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way
 had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth
 Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out
 where to begin but since shed been trying to justify
 Cliffs behavior she was pretty much free-associating
 conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going.
 IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE'VE COMMITTED AN
 ABORTION WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I'M
 SO SORRY JESUS She goes into full pearl-clutching
 gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her
 chair like it's a Victorian fainting couch only it's a
 shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it
 collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and
 kicking her feet like a toddler
 Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs
 heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while
 my grandmother mouths she's not coming back
 Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally
 notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up,
 are assisted by Dad,
 who is saintly patient man and less immune to this
 jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into
 my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle
 ICANT EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS
 BARBARISM Sue begins but Dad puts on his best
 Kindly Father voice (he was heavily involved with the
 catholic church and even considered becoming a priest
 before getting drafted but that's another story)and
 assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the
 room if she wants. She nods, placated by being the
 center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill.
 I wouldn't want you to go hungry. Can I make you
 some
 That would be lovely." Said Sue, joke flying over her
 ng 747. I recall watching my grandmot
 her nearly choke to death on the green beans over that,
 and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about
 anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the
 most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind.
 Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they
 went home, and the party got underway properly, with
 Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby For
 t Turkey has been an
 staple since then. I'll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for
 instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE
 to shriek "OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT when you
 carve it open, or it's not authentic and won't taste as
 good 2. Share the pictures with me,
Very planned Parenthood

Very planned Parenthood